Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 12 - JoJo

The “Bachelorette” Episode 3 Recap Incl “Bachelor in Paradise” Casting Update, & Chad’s Match.com Profile

Photo Credit: Glamour

-We begin by them showing us the mansion a disaster from the night before, something we’ve never seen. I’m sure the kitchen has been a mess before, but to keep up with the Chad storyline, they decided to show it. Evan is already telling us in an ITM that Chad still being there is messing with everyone and he’s a cancer in the house. Actually, he said Chad has 2 personalities: a douche, and an a**hole. Yep, pretty much. Chris Harrison comes in and tells the guys where will be two 1-on-1 dates and a group date this week. First group date card is for Chase, even though Chad just assumes it’s him because Chad. The card says “Lets get physical.” Oooohhhhh Olivia Newton John is gonna be on this date? Will there be roller skating like she did in Xanadu? Chad’s reasoning for why he didn’t get the first 1-on-1? “She’s takin’ her time with me.” Ahhhh, but of course. How stupid we all are for not seeing that? Chad, you rule. Such a Billy Bad Ass.

-Chase and JoJo’s date is at a hot yoga place in LA, which basically is a rip off of Chris and Carly’s date in New Mexico 2 seasons ago, and Clare and Mikey Tenerelli’s date on BIP last season. But hey, we’re not awarding these producers for originality or else they’d be getting F’s considering it’s the same stuff every season, just different contestants. They meet up with the yoga teacher Hemalayaa Behl, who wants to know how long they’ve been intimate. Ummmm, about 14 seconds Himalaya. Next question. She then shares something that seems completely made up for television, which is the Anger-gasm. Where you just act like a complete lunatic while you’re in a yoga pose. Or basically just imitate Chad, who’s probably already had 700 Anger-gasms in the three weeks the show has been on the air.

-I’m glad producers decided to give us more of JoJo in the flesh if you know what I mean. Last week was pretty tame, but this week? Hot yoga and a pool party bikini (which technically comes tonight). Hey, fine with me. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. And going by Fleiss’ creepy tweets while filming was happening, you gotta wonder how many times he punched his clown to JoJo this season. So in their hot yoga poses, we are exposed to the giant lion tattoo Chase has on his side. I mean, holy King of the Jungle, Chase. Is that thing big enough for you? If it were any bigger, Timon and Pumbaa would be petrified of it. I don’t know what life altering event caused him to go under the knife for that thing, but I have a feeling when he’s 80 he’ll probably be regretting that. Or maybe he’s just a huge Katy Perry fan and that tat is his way of telling us that “You’re gonna hear me roar.” Or not.

-JoJo says that she’s never mounted a guy on a first date and, well, I giggled. These two had to straddle each other and breathe closely as sweat dripped down them. I mean, I guess there could be worse things to be doing on a first date with a hot girl, but yeah, a little too much invading of space there. At dinner later, JoJo tells us that, well, “when we were doing that, I felt a connection.” Actually, what you felt JoJo was Chase pitching a tent. Shocked you couldn’t tell. I mean, crotch-to-crotch half naked? What’d you expect to happen? Chase then went into a story about his parents divorce, and things got serious. Even the lion on his ribcage was like, “Yo, why so serious bro?” And hey, if at any point someone wants to inject Chase with something that gives him some semblance of enthusiasm, that’d be great. The guy is putting me to sleep.

-JoJo: “Chase wants to do it once, and he wants to do it right.” Wait, are you talking about marriage or sex, cuuuuuuz, yeah. So he tells the story about his parents divorce and how he never wants that and JoJo is like super impressed. You know, because most guys would just say “My parents got divorced and I really admire them for that. I want that in my life some day.” Anyway, JoJo tells Chase “I had a lot of fun tonight.” She did? When did this happen? Exactly what did they do that was fun? The kama sutra poses in a 100 degree yoga room is not what any normal person would consider “fun,” right? That’s what I thought. Well, except for JoJo and with that, she gives Chase the rose. Here you go, Mufasa. A rose for you. Just don’t tell Uncle Scar (Chad) about it. He might get angry and push you over a cliff.

-JoJo still has one surprise left for Chase, which I was hoping she wouldn’t. I posted a tweet about another no-name band performing on the “Bachelorette” in hopes to boost their single downloads on Itunes. Uhhhh, woops. Yes, I’ve heard of Lady Antebellum. I just didn’t know any of the band members name. Had no idea that was THAT guy. So Chase and JoJo danced the night away while half of Lady Antebellum serenaded them in the backyard. I got my no-name band nights wrong. Tonight is when Dan + Shay performs for JoJo and Luke on their 1-on-1 and that’s when their downloads will skyrocket. I think. I guess Dan + Shay aren’t exactly no names, but hey, they aren’t on my playlist so they’re no names to me. As is pretty much everyone who ever performs on this show.

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14 Comments

14 Comments

  1. rob22

    June 7, 2016 at 10:02 AM

    RS said there was no video of Chad hitting the wall with his fist. I could have sworn it was in there as they were walking off the stage. He raged out and hit a wall back stage as they were walking into a room. Am I right on this?

    I do think the match.com profile says it all. He doesn’t believe in college, because he knows how to make himself smarter. He believes in his own form of God because everyone (but him) has God figured out all wrong. He wants to have lots of his own businesses, because probably he doesn’t want to work for ignorant fools that have actually already created successful businesses.

    Of course, from a prior RS column, it seems that as a “Luxury Real Estate Consultant/Agent”, he has no actual home listings at this time. Ummmm Chad, you have to actually have listings and sell them to make money. Doing pull ups with weights tied to your feet & eating dozens of meat plates isn’t going to get you listings.

    It’s definitely narcissistic to say the least. And likely compensating for insecurities about not being able to cut it in college, business or the world in general. And the kicker, of course, is that this guy who hasn’t been in a relationship for four years consults himself and decides that going on the Bachelorette is the key to his next relationship. Doh! At least he can take solace in the fact that there are girls out there who write to Charles Manson. So, he’s still got a shot.

    He’s very immature in thinking that he’s going to make all this money by creating all of these businesses based on stuff he knows. Basically, make lots of money and spending a minimal amount of time. Ummmmm… I don’t know what books he reads, but that’s not exactly a business model that comes out of any real book. That’s something that Chad made up on his own too. I’ve met lots of, let’s call them less than intelligent, successful business owners. But those guys were successful because they learned how to do something really well & worked really hard for a decade or two to become successful. Who’s been successful spending a minimal amount of time on stuff they make up where they don’t have to work hard? Nobody ever. Chad’s life is headed straight into the toilet. He might be the perfect profile for a mass shooter. He’ll end up blaming everyone else for his failed life. Which is ironic since he never listens to anyone but himself. Self mentoring is not really a thing Chad.

  2. lucyw4

    June 7, 2016 at 10:17 AM

    I find it hilarious that his own dog couldn’t stand to be around him!

  3. qwerty

    June 7, 2016 at 10:46 AM

    I feel like Chad’s pathological anger issues and violent nature are supposed to be entertaining for viewers, but I actually find it deeply disturbing to watch him being set up in romantic situations (with a woman, or in BIP’s case women, who might not have access to a full picture of him). I would not feel safe being in a relationship (or even, being alone in the same room) with someone who’s that quick to violence. Watch out, BIP ladies.

  4. farmgirl

    June 7, 2016 at 10:46 AM

    Hey Steve..Honorably Discharged is what most Marines get. All it means is that he did his four years and got out without getting in trouble. That being said, as a female AND former Marine, I think Chad is gross and horrible representative of the Marine Corps. Also a horrible representative for men in general. That is one of the worst profiles I’ve ever read.

  5. cjscjs711

    June 7, 2016 at 11:02 AM

    @Rob22 yes, I saw that Chad did punch the door.

    I think Reality Steve’s comments above are a testament to what a good job producers are doing of creating characters intended to get under the skin of viewers. Steve is a very very jaded, long-time viewer of this series and still, producers have managed to evoke some very strong, almost visceral responses from Steve! As we know, the characters we see are a combination of producers and casting directors being able to discern the personality mix that will make good TV. And to successfully play up those traits at the right times to make good TV. They enable and instigate.

    There is a lot of button-pushing going on. How– organic is it?

    Personally, Chad, including the character that has been brought forth on TV, doesn’t bother me that much. I work with entertainers and while not always typical, I’ve seen much more extreme types than this. Typical, though, is that when the camera loves someone and they are getting work, his or her competitors often become envious, snide, and catty.

    I think the ‘bromance’ between Chad and Daniel was a lot more believable than the bromance last season between JJ and Clint. The latter seemed so obviously staged, and they tried too hard.

    What was more painful to me was watching James Taylor, and his constant showcasing his talent with his singing and guitar. He reminded me of Bradley “the Opera Singer” who was constantly singing in what looked like a blatant attempt to promote his voice on TV. In contrast to appropriately modest Sharleen, who was also an opera singer.

  6. rob22

    June 7, 2016 at 1:36 PM

    Producer manipulation is obviously always a factor. But with Chad, based on the match.com profile, dude is not playing a role. That’s who he is. All the producers needed to do is roll the video and play it back. Granted, they introduced conflict to Chad because they knew he couldn’t deal with it. Just light the match, step back and watch the fireworks. I could have missed it, but I didn’t see a lot of franken-bytes for Chad. They just weren’t necessary.

    I think with Daniel and Chad, you have two guys who like to workout a lot. Guys like that might be in the gym 3-4 hours a day doing their thing. Few guys work out that hard doing the workout that they do. It’s extreme. So, finding a workout partner on the same type of schedule is the main connection. It really didn’t take Daniel that long to realize that Chad was a douche. But Daniel didn’t care until the house started lumping him in with Chad. Guilt by association. Guys aren’t that picky about workout partners, though. I worked out with a meathead that I thought was a douche for several months. Dude was a great workout partner though. Worked out hard, pushed me and was actually very encouraging. When he talked about anything else, however, it was like you were talking to an animal. Eventually I just got sick of him and bailed.

  7. canon

    June 7, 2016 at 1:43 PM

    I’m no Chad fan as I’ve met plenty like him, but I will say this. If you look at each confrontation, Chad never starts it. Someone needles him and he doesn’t respond well, but it always starts with someone making a diss comment. Sure, his ITM’s are beyond egocentric, but face to face, he’s right that he’s not starting it. Granted, he should just say “Whatever dude” rather than getting riled up, but if the others weren’t dogging him first, these things probably wouldn’t be happening. Lots of creative editing I’m seeing here and I’m sure producers are getting others to verbally poke him knowing it will set him off and give good tv. And yeah, no doubt the security guard is just to up the drama factor. All that said, I’ve never seen you be so into bashing a character before! Calm down Steve.. LOL

  8. karynr

    June 7, 2016 at 2:39 PM

    I haven’t watched last night’s episode yet, but after reading RS, as well as Chad’s Match.com profile, I can understand why his dog didn’t come home.

  9. crushonspivey

    June 7, 2016 at 2:52 PM

    canon, I agree with you. Chad never starts any of it. And I can just imagine some producer goading some of the more insecure and whiny guys into starting stuff with Chad. And let’s be honest–the guys that start stuff with Chad are the whiny dudes on the show this year.

    Always amazes me of the ones that get caught up in creating the house drama, and complaining about the other contestants, and yet those people NEVER get chosen in the end. Really, they never even make the final 3. They are just there to be used and abused by producers to create drama, and do they deliver. And they go home as losers, because they are.

    I think Chad is hilarious. Yeah, the guy has issues, but so do pretty much other other guy on the show. They all look damaged. That is the problem with this show now. They beat up all the contestants so much, it is hard to want to root for any of them. This year, I am literally rooting for JoJo to pick no one. I want her t o be the Bachettte that dumps them all, then calls them loser at the After ceremony.

    I just like that Chad calls them all out for their own crap. Deservedly so. Bunch of whiny, wimpy “JoJo song” singing pansies this year.

  10. kimmyfromdablock

    June 7, 2016 at 5:05 PM

    All of us know how much producer manipulation is involved on this show. It’s clear that Chad is narcissistic, but you also have to wonder how much is exaggerated by producer input and editing.

    However…..then we see the Match profile. What an incredible moron. Any woman with an ounce of self-respect would not give him the time of day. The things he writes about himself are jaw dropping ridiculous. Aside from that, he sounds very uneducated.

    It’s too bad a guy with conventional good looks is not so attractive on the inside. When he told Jordan he was some washed up football wannabe — that was no producer manipulation. The guy is mean-spirited and ugly. In my book, that qualifies as an epic fail in life.

  11. kmannone723

    June 7, 2016 at 5:08 PM

    I’m definitely worried that Chad abuses women. I kinda pick up on that vibe. Definitely worried that any girl that goes for him either on BIP or his match.com profile will regret going for him

  12. tamara

    June 7, 2016 at 9:19 PM

    Best Bachelor/Bachelorette line ever, thanks to Evan:

    “Love is worth being shoved in the face for!”

    I think Evan is handsome and sweet, and a good catch.

    Better than Jordan, who seems fake and full of himself.

  13. lucyw4

    June 7, 2016 at 10:31 PM

    I think Evan is sweet, but not handsome, or a good catch because of his 3 kids.
    Robby looks like a mannequin with hair that doesn’t move.
    Alex is good-looking, but his height and preoccupation with Chad is a HUGE turn-off.

    The only cute one to me, is Wells. I love his smile, but his small physique would be a problem.

  14. rob22

    June 8, 2016 at 7:18 AM

    Yeah, definitely the ones that get the most hooked into the house drama never seem to end up in the F4. However, we only see what they let us see. So, if the goal is to make the F4 look good, maybe their whining isn’t shown?

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