-We begin where we left off, and that’s with Chris Harrison having a man-to-man talk with Chad out by the pool. Well, man-to-ogre to be exact. Chris tells him he needs to go inside to apologize, and Chad essentially does the opposite. Tells Evan “You pushed me,” essentially thinks he did nothing wrong and he only flys off the handle once people come at him first. Have their been times where the other guys provoked him? Of course. But to claim that everything that’s happened is everyone else’s fault and he’s done nothing wrong is ludicrous. Then again, the guy’s green drink is essentially the Hulk’s own blood, so I guess I would expect him to say that. Hiding behind the “Evan, you pushed me” story is about the most pathetic thing this guy’s done this season, and that’s saying a lot. So basically that convo ends with Chad just telling the guys, “Hey, don’t talk about me and everything will be fine.” Even though it won’t.
-Time for the pool party and the guys practice their synchronized diving, only to end up with Evan getting a bloody nose. Not that you didn’t already know that, but of course the previews wanted you to think Chad blasted him in the face. Ummmm, that’d be assault and he’d be arrested. I know they do this every season, but seriously, after 32 seasons people are still buying these promos? I guess so. What’s more important than Evan’s bloody nose that JoJo was concerned about for 17 seconds? Well, running to the front of the mansion to meet up with Jordan, that’s what. JoJo is a tad skeptical though. “I’m not sure he’s into me as I’m into him.” Yeah, probably because he’s got a rolodex of women on stand by in case things didn’t work out on this show and he didn’t become the next “Bachelor.” But just look past that. It’s make out time! JoJo even says that everything is so good so soon, is it too good to be true? Well, you know what they say…
-We see her talking to a few other guys, but briefly. Robby being one of them. For someone who lasts as long as he does this season, he’s basically been a ghost for the first 3 episodes. Even this clip was quick, but we do hear him say, “This is happening a lot faster than I thought it would” as they make out. Yes, this coming from the guy who was on one group date and was dateless this episode. But she makes out with him anyway. Then Chad comes along and, according to him, everything’s just great. Couldn’t be better. If he could summon everyone in the house to sing kumbaya around a campfire, he would. Although, he does get a shot in at Evan when she asks him about the other night’s actions where he acted all butt hurt when Evan got the rose. “If you had an interest in Evan, what am I doing here?” Funny that the guy who tells all the other guys to stop using their time with JoJo to talk about him, just talked about Evan. Granted, he was asked directly about it, but then again, a lot of the other guys were too. Like Derek. Who is up next…
-She asks Derek “Do you feel safe in the house” and he says he doesn’t because he never knows what Chad is up to. They talk a little more before making out, but editing got tricky here. They made it seem like Chad was standing right over them watching them make out and talk about him, when it was clear it was two completely different shots. They never showed Chad in the distance and the three of them in the same shot. It was just Chad standing looking in their direction, then a quick shot to JoJo and Derek making out. All very contrived. However, they needed to show that so the next scene would make sense, which was…Chad pulling Derek aside and confronting him. He can’t stand the fact that the guys won’t stop talking about him, and calls Derek out for that particular conversation, which I’m sure he was told about by producers. Derek said he was asking a direct question that JoJo asked him, and Chad just kept repeating to not talk about him. So yeah, Derek wins that argument. Chad doesn’t have much to say when he’s put in his place. Oh, well other than he’ll beat you up. He’s excellent at using that comeback for sure. Or “You wanna go outside?” Or “You should be afraid of me.” Or “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”
-Rose ceremony time. Light years ago, Chase, Evan, and James Taylor got roses on their dates, so they’re safe from getting told to kick rocks. JoJo: “Entire week has been a whirlwind…you guys are so great…that’s what makes nights like this tough…saying goodbye is so tough…and if I let Chad stay another week, this season could possibly turn in to a season of UnREAL with a contestant dying. I’ll do my best.”
Grant: Squidward. That kills me.
Derek: “I am a man, who will fight, for your honor…”
Jordan: I love how ridiculously obvious this season is becoming with him. Sources were spot on again.
Luke: I’m sure he went in the pool, but man, that must’ve been tough on his hair.
Robby: I’m sure he loved the pool party. Shocked he wasn’t in one of his speedos from college swimming.
Wells: Ummmm, he’s a radio host.
James F: He was on “Nashville” for 3 seconds asking Juliette Barnes a question. Other than that, he jumped in the pool with a suit on. Yep. That’s all I got for James F.
Vinny: Still questionable for Game 3 tonight after suffering a concussion in Game 2.
Daniel: He’s got the weirdest body of any fit guy I’ve ever seen.
Alex: An American hero basically after last night.
“JoJo, Gentleman, it’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. I’m sexting with AshLee Frazier over here in the corner, so take your time. It’s getting good. I’m about to drop a d**k pic on her.”
Chad: Happy Happy Joy Joy is around for another week.
JoJo tells the guys as they click glasses that “I decided we’d pack our bags and leave the mansion for good.” No, honey. You didn’t decide anything. The previous 31 seasons filming schedule decided that you’ll be leaving the mansion for good. But nice try.