-Group date time. Football season is upon us. Big Ben Roethlisberger, Hines Ward, and Brett Kiesel join 11 guys on Heinz Field, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers. No doubt Jordan had a massive hard on as he actually got to stand on an NFL field for once. Must’ve been quite exhilarating for him. She puts the guys through an obstacle course while she stands off to the side and flirts with Big Ben. Well, maybe it was the other way around. If you’re familiar with Ben’s history with women (and I’m sure JoJo was clueless), she wouldn’t have been standing so close to the guy. But she was giving him the scouting report on the guys to keep an eye on. I think at one point she mentioned Evan, which elicited a chuckle from Ben, as it should’ve. Evan seems about as comfortable on a football field as a hooker does in church.
-Through all this roughhousing, James Taylor ends up getting cut above the eye, bleeding profusely. Yet another instance during previews where they wanted to make you think Chad used someone’s face as a punching bag, however, not the case per usual. We are now being split up into teams of five with Jordan as the all-time QB because of course. The winning team gets extra time with JoJo that night, and Jordan gets to join them no matter what. Again, because of course. The teams are:
A fierce battle to the end. Apparently the blue team had some injuries so they were the underdogs in this game according to them. Probably just sandbagging to make their story better. Jordan is creaming himself re-living his glory days at Vanderbilt where he threw 24 TD’s and 15 INT’s in 2 seasons as the starter. Meh numbers if you ask me. But don’t tell him that. He was “droppin’ dimes” out there in this silly game of touch football. Of course you were since you weren’t facing any SEC defenses. I’m guessing Kirby Smart would’ve drawn up something completely different to screw with your head rather than 10 non-football players running out for passes every play with no pass rush. I’m glad you think you killed it out there. That makes one of you. Jordan’s great. Just ask him. He’ll tell you.
-The Blue Team ended up winning in the end when Wells caught a 5 yard pass over the middle before Derek just grabbed the ball out of his hands and went back the other way for 6. Way to go, Wells. Way to let down the whole team. Hold on to the ball Adams! Dammit! Then again, the only time you should ever see a guy like Wells on a football field is if he’s giving the other guys their water bottles. So with that, the Blue Team wins, the White Team has to go back to the resort and hang out with Chad longer, while the Blue Team all gets to make out with JoJo. Well, most of them at least. Lets see, you know she did with Jordan and Robby because they showed it. She’s already made out with James Taylor and Derek in the past so I’m sure she did again. Vinny? Ok, maybe not. Evan? Maybe she gave him another sympathy peck like she did on Monday night’s episode after giving him the rose.
-We see her get significant alone time with Robby for the first time all season, and despite the fact he’s been on one group date and nothing else, Robby is totally falling in love. “I had to open up to you…the emotions I knew were there came out.” She tells him that they are making progress even without time together. I’m pretty sure Robby is just saying what he needs to to stay in the game. Someone who’s had so little time with her can’t possibly actually believe he’s that far along in their relationship. He’s just saying what producers are telling him to say, and considering he sh*tcanned a four year girlfriend just weeks before interviewing to be on the show and didn’t bother to tell her, do we really believe any BS this guy says? That’s what I thought. But hey, for the fourth consecutive episode, he doesn’t have a hair out of place, so that’s gotta be a record, right?
-Now it’s time for good ol’ Jordan. You know, the guy who she snuck out into the front yard with to make out earlier in the episode at the mansion. Yeah, now she’s back at it again with him as she questions him again. JoJo: “I have a lot of questions…I can’t read you…I always want you to know how I feel…You’re not as vocal…hard to read.” Translation: Look you silly bastard, you were the one I wanted before I even stepped out of the limo. Step your game up so we can get down to business ASAP. So with the obvious prodding of producers probably telling him off camera, “Hey, you need to start opening up to her. You might lose her if you don’t,” Jordan out of nowhere comes in all guns blazing. “I feel like I’m falling for you…” Then they make out at the water fountain and everything is happy time again. She ends up giving him the group date rose because, well, his name is Jordan and that’s good enough for her. Sure, she masked it with “This guy took me by surprise tonight and made me feel special.” Oh I bet he did, sweet cakes. Lets just try and not make everything so obvious at this point.