Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Ben & Lauren’s Reality Show, & (SPOILER) Who’s This Season’s Big “Bachelor In Paradise” Couple?

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

I just started watching unREAL, which triggered some questions I have about The Bachelor/Bachelorette.

1) When the lead says the producers “made me keep her,” what does this mean exactly? Would the producers invoke some form of punishment (e.g. limit the amount of time the lead gets with the women he actually likes, etc.) if the lead does not comply with the producers’ desires to keep certain people around? The lead pretty much always has to comply. I think they’re talking more in the earlier episodes. Like keeping someone in the likes of a Chad or Daniel around. There are numerous other examples from past seasons, but as we know, they can only eliminate so many every show. They can’t go from 25 to 4 on night one, even though the lead pretty much knows who they like immediately. So “made me keep them” is a rather loose term.

2) Are you aware of any leads or contenders (besides Rozlyn) that started relationships with any of the crew members / producers? If so, who? No.

Unrelated to unREAL, you mentioned that you heard Jordan only came on The Bachelorette so he could get as far as he could and then bail to become the next Bachelor. But also that he was not interested in Caila being the Bachelorette, only JoJo. If he just wanted to be the next Bachelor, why would he care if it were Caila vs. JoJo?

Thanks for your insights!

Your fan in Indiana

PS – I about died with the “Vinny’s barbershop” motif used to set up the tabloid article reveal. Good stuff.

Comment: We’ll never know if Caila was the “Bachelorette” if Jordan would’ve come on and gone with his original plan of going as far as he can then eliminating himself because, well, she was never the “Bachelorette.” So impossible to answer the question. I know they definitely wanted Jordan on the show, and once he committed, it probably helped that JoJo was the “Bachelorette” because they pretty much knew he would be what she’d like.

Hi Steve,

These few lines below from today’s recap really made me laugh out loud: (why do you have to hate on the height-challenged of us?) J

“Derek is insecure that he’s on a dating show with 25 other guys but doesn’t like it if any of the other 25 guys show interest in JoJo even though that’s the point of the show. And Alex doesn’t like the fact he has to ask for four phonebooks when eating at a restaurant. These two should just duke it out for title of “Most Insecure Contestant Ever.” Derek must fight on his knees though. It’s only fair.”

Were you an English major in college? No. Communications.

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like your recaps getting snarkier and snarkier as time goes on? You even alluded to the fact that you’re bored with this season. I can’t say I blame you because I’ve watched since the very first season and I am bored to tears. All the gimmicks are up already. It’s like, enough. I feel like every season I’m sarcastic and snarky. No season really sticks out above any others to me.

My question – now that the gig’s up and there’s less “new” information to share with this predictable show – do you ever see yourself doing something else or do you think you’ll continue writing about the Bachelor/Bachelorette while you still have a job and many, many followers? I’m sure I’ll do something else once this show ends, probably in the writing/entertainment field. Exactly what, I’m not sure yet.

Also, if you weren’t spoiling the Bachelor franchise, what show would you love to spoil and/or write about?

Comment: There aren’t many shows that are even worth spoiling. I can’t think of one actually that would draw 1/1000th the interest that spoiling this show does.

Hi Steve,

You didn’t mention Leah Block as already being home from BIP in your column. Was that an oversight or did she possibly go back since there was a rumor that she had to leave early due to a grandparents death? I just forgot to include her. She’s home. I actually think I mentioned her in a previous column or tweet about being home. Yesterday’s I just forgot.

And from what you’re hearing, do you think Nick and Josh both have a chance to last until the end of BIP? How do you think they were received by the women after the negative things Andi said about them in her book?

Comment: Yes. I’ll get to the details of their stay later, but at least you have the Josh Murray spoiler.

I’m pretty sure Jordan crapped his pants when Jojo asked him about his ex girlfriend. It was hilarious to watch him squirm and wiggle. How did Jojo not see his obvious body language and press further or at least become suspicious? If he didn’t cheat, there was no reason for him to act like that. Probably because she doesn’t want to see it.

Today’s column was absolutely hilarious. So many great zingers in there.

Comment: Funny you say that, because if you were to ask me right now to name one line I thought was funny from yesterday’s column, I couldn’t do it. But if you repeated a line back to me, I’d remember it. I just spend so much time writing, I don’t remember probably ¾ of what I write. But thank you anyway.


Longtime reader, and lover of your column. I was reading your recap of this week, and you mention that filming will be wrapping up next week. So the entire season is filmed in less than a month give or take? How many days are there then in between rose ceremonies, and dates, new people coming, etc. I find it unreal (BEST SHOW BTW) that they’d push an engagement after the six weeks on the regular Bachelor/Bachelorette, but to push an engagement after 4?!!? WILD. But hey, if it didn’t happen, I wouldn’t be able to watch and enjoy the train wreck.

Thanks for your dedication!!!

Comment: BIP filming takes a little less than 3 weeks. They essentially do a rose ceremony every 3 days. People are arriving almost every day. There might be a day or two here and there where they don’t, but most days will always have someone new coming in except on rose ceremony days. Yes, the two engagements that they’ve had on this show (Marcus & Lacy and Tanner & Jade), were after 2 ½ weeks. Again, the engagements on any of these shows don’t mean anything. All parties are highly encouraged to get engaged, and basically pressured into it. It means something once they walk down the aisle. The proposal is just for show because people want to see a “finality” to a love story they’ve been following, rather than at the end someone says, “Hey, lets keep dating,” which is essentially all they’re doing.

Hey Steve!

So I was thinking last night that Jordan’s 1 on 1 seemed short especially for a winner. I remember Shawn’s dates last year being longer. However last night the editing seemed more focused on the InTouch drama rather than Jojo and Jordan’s “fairytale”. Any reason behind this?

Comment: I have no idea. This show does a lot of things there aren’t any answers to.

Hey steve,

You’ve pointed out that it’s amazing what social media has done for this show. Have you noticed that the winner, in this case Jordan and Ben’s season Lauren aren’t as present on social media during the airing of the show? It seems like all the other contestants live tweet, or post way more to build their social media presence but Jordan isn’t. That alone (other than you telling us) gives it away that he won because he’s probably not watching, like how other finalists have admitted to not watching the show.

Comment: I’d say that’s one contributing factor. But again, nothing that happens post show is 100% concrete evidence of who the final person is. At least to me it isn’t, that’s why I don’t pay attention. I try and find out what happened that day of the final rose ceremony, since that can’t be changed, manipulated, or deceived. Everything else post show can be looked at, especially on social media, 1000 different ways and you can speculate until you’re blue in the face and never get a definitive answer. I always report my spoiler based on what sources tell me happened at the end of the show, not anything that happens post show.

Hey Steve,

Do you think that Jordan is gonna be liked by casual viewers by the end of the season? With Lauren and Jojo, both girls were. However, it’s starting to look like he’s getting an unfavorable edit. By the casual viewer? Yes. And the casual viewer makes up a majority of this show audience.

Do you think that the whole Chad/Hope thing is a hoax meaning they both planned this on purpose? I wouldn’t be surprised if they planned that instagram kiss solely for the attention and to troll. Gotta give Chad props, he knows his role this season and he’s playing it perfectly. Not that this means anything, but he has over 100k followers on instagram… he’s doing something right. Them being together in Tulsa and hanging out definitely was planned. She lives in Florida and he lives there. She wasn’t randomly hanging out in Tulsa and ran into him. Either he told her to come and she did, or she went there because she wanted to. She has every right to. It’s not like she’s with Robby or anything. They broke up five months ago. Both parties are free to do whatever they want. But it definitely seems more like a stunt for attention than anything else. Just wasn’t a smart move on her part. Him? Genius. Fits the “character” he’s portraying perfectly, although he’s being mighty hypocritical in the process.

Do you think there’s a possibility that Jojo doesn’t care about the whole Jordan-player-cheater stuff? Maybe she saw this as a chance for some more fame and career advancement as they all do. It’s pretty apparent that their connection so far is solely lust at least on her part… I’m not sure he’s really into her at all. I can totally see Jojo dumping Jordan at the end of this perhaps a couple of months after the finale airs and just look back at her Bachelorette journey as something that she made $ from, got to travel for free, and got free outfits to wear.

Comment: Do I think it’s possible? No, I think it’s probable. She’s still with him, so obviously she doesn’t care. Or at least she’s not letting it get to her now. But it eventually will.

I was out with friends tonight and we were talking about this week’s episode. We all found it odd that Jojo had met Jordan’s ex gf and talked to her about him. Firstly, what are the odds of that?! Secondly, when did this ‘run in’ happen? The timing seriously lined up that she met the ex gf and the ex gf knew Jordan was going on the show and told her just in time???? Maybe we missed something jut the odds of this all seem fishy. Any info???

Thanks. Still enjoying your site after all these years

Comment: There are too many question marks with that story that she met the ex. I don’t think she ever did. I think she knew about Jordan pre-show because US Weekly released him, producers were aware of womanizing ways, so they intentionally inserted it into the storyline this season by telling her to bring it up. I highly doubt she had a face-to-face meeting with Brittany in Dallas before the show. That just seems way too convenient for me.

Hey Steve,

Any insight on the Lauren & Ben breakup vs. marriage rumors? Based on what I’ve seen on snapchat/twitter (and in my personal opinion), it looks like they’re keeping up with appearances and don’t even like one another. I’m shocked they’re still together and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if they’re riding it out for the paychecks/fans and merely tolerating one another until they can make a quiet, amicable split. Any chance you know something we don’t? This is email was sent in this morning before the announcement of their show. So I guess we have our answer now.

I’m pretty sure you don’t do snapchat but is there any chance you have a list of snapchat usernames of former/current Bachelorette contestants that you’re willing to share? I have a snapchat account, but I more or less just look at other people’s snaps. I’ve maybe sent out 5 snaps total since I joined. And sorry, don’t have a list of contestants snap names.

Thanks and have a blast in Vegas next month!

Comment: Still plenty of time to get in and reserve a spot for the party open to everyone. Doesn’t cost to get in (well, other than if you’re flying your plane ticket or driving your hotel reservation), and you’re getting free food and alcohol. And you Can’t. Beat. That.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.

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  1. purplerayne

    June 22, 2016 at 10:42 AM

    “Based on what ive seen”…. I think some folks should keep their day job and never go into the body language/detective business. Lauren is goofy, Ben is a dry (white toast). If what Steve says is true, that he wants a political career, it explains why he’s a bit more restrained on social media.

    Im looking forward to Josh and Nick on BIP. Josh didnt hold back during Kaitlyn’s season, he was tweeting negative comments about Nick. So it should be interesting how they interact.

  2. rob22

    June 22, 2016 at 2:15 PM

    Yeah, launching a political career off of an appearance on The Bachelor. As a Republican. In Colorado. Smilin Pete’s definitely living on Planet Ben right now. The size of people’s egos never ceases to amaze me.

  3. cd12

    June 22, 2016 at 7:48 PM

    Isn’t Freeform the new ABC Family?

  4. cjscjs711

    June 22, 2016 at 8:03 PM

    @rob22 That’s what people said about Donald Trump and dismissed him. Reality Tv, name recognition, photogenic; there things give a candidate a head start on our culture. What office did Ben say he wanted to run for? Celebrity causes people to overlook gun ina lot they wouldn’t in mere mortals.

    I can’t believe anyone believed In Touch randomly appeared. However, I doubt they told the guys, “We’re going to have tabloids out with stories about JoJo meeting up with her ex. Please act as surprised as you can.” Why wouldn’t they surprise them to get natural reactions? That would not make anything easier for anyone.

  5. kmannone723

    June 22, 2016 at 8:19 PM

    @Cd12 yes Freeform is the new name for ABC Family. I am thinking the new wanting to be in the limelight for Ben is partially like a bid for a televised wedding to stay relevant and on peoples radar especially since we don’t know if Kaitlyn and Shawn really did tie the knot in Hawaii or not still. They figure I need to compete against them for the televised especially since Kaitlyn really had the raunchier season compared to him.

  6. rob22

    June 23, 2016 at 6:20 AM

    @cjscjs: I realize Trump is a candidate, but at least there was “some” evidence of competence in the real world. That’s being disputed, but at least there was something. Smilin Pete’s not Trump. Of course, if he’s running for Dog Catcher, I suppose if he has a dog he’d be somewhat qualified. Name recognition is fine, but there has to be some qualifications.

    The closer parallel is Clay Aiken, who parlayed an American Idol 2nd place & singing career into winning the Democratic primary for Congress in South Carolina. But, he lost the general election by almost 20 points. As things stand now, Trump looks like he’s going down in flames too. Maybe I’m just hoping that the American public doesn’t EVER elect a reality show contestant to any kind of office that they aren’t qualified to hold. We all know the type of person that’s attracted to reality shows. They aren’t the cream of the crop.

  7. jecoon

    June 23, 2016 at 4:31 PM

    Clay Aiken is from North Carolina. Not South Carolina.

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