The next day, Sam’s hair has been released from the braids and he and Alyssa sit and discuss that he’s a prude but that he would pick her to kiss out of everyone else in the house. And then he doesn’t kiss her. Having maybe a bit more fun are those on the Getaway Date who get to frolic with turtles before retiring in pairs to the beach so they can figure out if maybe they are actual matches. Cameron and Mikala talk for real about how her background and her family are rather messy but she does not want him to view her as broken because of that and his response is both mature and rather compassionate and I can’t help but think these two have a shot. Others seem to think they have a shot, too, because several houseguests vote them into the Truth Booth. Still, not everyone makes that decision. Tori, for instance, wants some clarification about Gio and Kaylen. Speaking of those two, they are pretending to fight over who has to say “I love you” first, though I can’t help but think that the order and the semantics can’t really matter when Gio is saying things like, “I wouldn’t hesitate to get you a ring or give you a baby.” And Kaylen? She’d say yes if Gio proposed. By the way, we spend absolutely no time with Julia and Cam, so my guess is they will not be heading into the Truth Booth tonight and they will not be confirmed as matches so Stephen and John can continue to fight over Victoria’s favorite ho-bag for another week.
Ryan appears and announces that it’s time to announce who will go into the Truth Booth. Gio is nervous. He’s used to having the best things in his life taken away from him and he doesn’t want Kaylen to join the list of all he’s lost, but Kaylen swears she will be strong for the both of them. Her strength will not be required tonight; Cameron and Mikala have been selected. They enter the booth and clutch hands and it is revealed that these two are a perfect match! He picks her up and twirls her around and the two are so legitimately happy that I couldn’t help but clap – and then I promptly hated myself for it, but that’s not really important right now. What is important is that an actual match has been discovered and everyone explodes with joy and surprise and the two of them leave that booth breathless and they are greeted with hugs and celebrations and toasts and soon they will get to leave this crew behind and head into the Honeymoon Suite for some peace and quiet and as much privacy as you can get on a reality show.
Since it’s a festive kind of night, the group decides to celebrate by having a party where you can wear anything but clothing. (I became so inspired by this concept, I strapped a velvet throw pillow to my chest and am writing the rest of this recap only wearing that.) It’s all fun and games until the light bulb Prosper strapped to his d*ck shatters, but luckily he and his testicles walk away unharmed. Not so fortunate is Stephen. You see, Stephen has the gumption to flirt with Julia in front of a simmering John and he responds to this stress by swigging alcohol and then screaming at Julia that she is pissing him off and that he wants someone to fight to keep him around because he’s a great dude who is not at all terrifying. Tori pleads with Julia to go speak to John and she takes him outside and tells him that she just cannot handle his behavior and she wants to do her own thing.
The next morning, Camille lolls on the couch and requests that Asaf come over and make out with her and, much like a proper gentleman, he acquiesces to her needs. However, despite where his tongue has just been, he kind of likes Tori and the two of them flirt in the kitchen before he sweetly asks if he can grab her ass. (Wait – what does “sweetly” mean again?) I’m legitimately stumped that anybody is into Asaf, but I suppose being stripped of televisions and phones and the Internet and being plied with alcohol can cause all kinds of odd choices to be made.
That evening is the next Match Up ceremony and the women get to choose: Francesca picks Morgan. Camille selects Asaf so she can one day have Israeli babies, but Asaf tells her that he has way stronger feelings for Tori. As for how Tori feels about this slight, she refuses to back down and those Israeli babies will be born from her loins, not Camille’s! Nicole chooses Cam. Tori gets up and picks Stephen – and he is absolutely pissed. Victoria heads up next and selects John. Oh, John. He stands there and maintains that he is just fine, that he has moved on from Julia, but he does it all while swaying back and forth as though he can hear some music playing in the way back of his head that nobody else can hear. Then he gets louder and reveals that Stephen called Julia a bitch and Julia deserves better and if he hears Stephen make a derogatory comment about any girl there, he will fight the guy. I think it’s lovely that John is really proving Julia’s fears about his explosive behavior to be a falsity, don’t you? Continuing on, Emma picks Prosper and Kaylen chooses Gio. Alyssa is up next and she selects Sam, who finally kisses her in front of everybody. Finally, Julia and Tyler come up and lock in together and she declares that anyone who tries to rain on her parade will soon be covered in the filth left over by the puddles she will stomp through defiantly.
So how many beams of light do they end up with tonight? The group ends up with a season high total of four correct matches and things are looking up – until we see the scenes for the next episode when Gio tells the woman he offered to impregnate that it’s not her, it’s him and Tori finds out Asaf had sex with someone else. But until then, let’s just all be happy that none of us is in a room alone with John.
Here are clips from the next new episode airing on July 11th:
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Nell Kalter teaches Film and Media at a school in New York. She is the author of the books THAT YEAR and STUDENT, both available on amazon.com in paperback and for your Kindle. Also be sure to check out her website at nellkalter.com. Her twitter is @nell_kalter.