Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Jordan, Ratings, & the “Baby Bachelorette”

Photo Credit: ABC

I’ve been reading since Kaitlyn’s season and I love the site! Thank you so much for your time and skills. I know this might be an odd question or one asked in a previous season, but to what extent do the other contestants know about the winner? Obviously the second to last person will know the winner, but do the other contestants know? I mean they could always come to your site and find out. Like during WTA were the women aware that Ben had chosen Lauren over Jojo? And also a final question that you might not be able to answer so easily. Many of these girls and guys hang out after the show, ex: Becca and Jojo, and Lauren B and Amanda. Do the winners usually talk about being picked to their friends that were also contestants on the show? It’s an impossible question to answer because you’d have to survey every single contestant and ask them. These people know about this site and know about spoilers. They’re lying if they say they don’t. Whether or not they choose to believe it is up to them. But I’m pretty sure every contestant is aware of the spoilers released every season by either reading it themselves, or one of their friends tells them.

I don’t know if the winners tell their friends. That’s another case-by-case basis. My guess would be yes.

Thank you for all the early BIP spoilers! Three couples? Really. This show is just a real winner. Also Carly and Evan seem so weird to me but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by this show anymore. Again, Thank you Steve!

Comment: Yeah, nothing surprises me anymore. And as someone mentioned earlier, they do at least live in the same city. Then again, so did Andi & Josh. So even that means nothing anymore.

Hey Steve,

Long time reader and somewhat frequent emailer. I absolutely love what you do for this show. I would classify myself as someone who does not take the season seriously at all, but am very fascinated by what these people choose to do post-show. So your commentary and behind the scenes info is much appreciated. A couple of questions I have;

I watched the Jordan interview you posted yesterday. I am so confused by the narrative he and JoJo are spinning. He has stated numerous times now how tight his timeline was trying to get on this show and made it very clear they had no communication. But hasn’t she admitted that they talked pre show?? These two need to get their stories straight. No, she never admitted they talked pre-show. In fact, she’s said the opposite. She said she’d never talked to him before. But that’s a lie. What she said was once he was announced as contestant 11 days before filming began, she did what any other curious person in her position would do, and that’s Google him.

Also, thanks for your awesome work with BIP spoilers. That show is an even bigger joke than this one when it comes to true intentions. Especially Carly. That girl could not look more desperate if she tried. She seriously wants us to believe she fell in love with Evan? Come on. If you follow her Instagram posts she is so insecure about all aspects of her life and this does not help that look.

I also can’t help but draw comparison of Jordan to Josh. I read Andi’s book, (and by the way, her writing is about as colorful as my ten year old diary), and Jordan’s little glass twirling fury reminded me a lot of how Andi described some of her and Josh’s fights that didn’t make TV. Andi’s problem with Josh seemed to be his jealousy and short temper. I have no idea if Jordan has either of those.

Lastly, i am a huge Big Brother fan and was curious. I know you said that this show could never film live week to week like Unreal. But, what if they did it more of a Big Brother format? They could produce it that week and hav some live feeds? Or do they depend way too much on spinning the narrative and manipulation? I think I already answered my own question.

But thank you so much for making this show tolerable. And enjoy having your family close! There is nothing better!

Comment: They haven’t done that in 32 seasons of the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette.” I don’t see why they would start now.

Hey Steve,

Before my questions, I just wanna say HAHAH at the engaged BIP couples. This show should just change its genre to comedy and not reality/drama.

1. I know you don’t want to discuss Jordan/Raya too much anymore, but do you have any idea of if he’s still active and using it to this day? If he is, he’s a complete moron after he’s been exposed and tried to deflect it. Haven’t heard anything either way. But he absolutely was on it at some point after filming ended.

2. Regarding BIP engaged couples, do you know if the budget for the ring is much lower? Considering they have gave out 3 rings this time around, I can’t imagine each individual one would be in the usual budget. Jade’s engagement was absolutely hideous to me compared to Kaitlyn and Lauren’s. Budget doesn’t matter since it’s all done on trade. Neil Lane is giving the show rings in return for publicity. ABC isn’t paying a cent for those.

3. Who handwrites the date cards every season? Surely it isn’t the lead because the handwriting seems the same each season. No, it’s not the lead. Because it’s the same handwriting every season. I have no idea who actually writes them, but it’s someone on staff.

4. I have a question about hometown dates and the homes they shoot in. For the most part, it seems like most of the contestants and their families are relatively well off based off the size of their homes. Umm, flashback to Chantal on Brad’s season? Anyway, let’s say that a contestant’s family isn’t very well off and their home wouldn’t look “up to par” for Bachelor tv standards, or let’s say a contestants family doesn’t want their house to be shown on tv, could they request a location change and could they borrow a house to film in? Absolutely. They’ve filmed at relatives houses before.

5. Are you watching the Eurocup and if so, who are you rooting for? I think Germany will take it all considering they are defending World cup winners. No. I’ll watch soccer once every 4 years, and that’s for the World Cup. And maybe I’ll watch in the Olympics.

6. Do you know if Jojo has had any facial plastic surgery? It’s obvious her girls aren’t real, but looking at her teenage pictures her nose seems completely different to me. The girl is stunning, but let’s hope she doesn’t go down the route of Mama Fletcher. I think she’s had her nose done?

Anyway, thanks for answering. You’re honestly the only thing that makes this show sufferable!


Awesome news regarding having your family close to you. That would be a dream come true for my kids. Glad for you.

So…BIP question.

Bachelor Pad’s format had to be changed after epic finale season 3.

Will BIP now need to change? Does ABC understand this looks like a joke?…
Or do a majority of viewers eat this up?

I can’t imagine the summer series continuing after this season.

Three proposals are laughable…But then again, the Marcus Lacy fakery made no wrinkles.


Would like your thoughts.

Thank you!

Well done Texas Monthly article on you btw. You are celebrity enough for us to see you on DWTS now.

Comment: I doubt it’s changing format. And I thought I remember reading it got re-upped for two more seasons after last summer? I could be wrong on that.

DWTS is an ABC show. There’s zero chance I’d ever be on it, and zero chance they’d ever even ask.

Hi Steve,

Comments and a question…

I’ve been watching Bachelor/ette & reading your site for years now and recently have had a hard time actually watching the episodes. It’s become so obvious that most of the drama isn’t there to begin with. This season Chad put on a show that was slightly comical but way overblown. Last season I felt bad for Olivia because I could tell she wasn’t nearly as bad as her edit, she was never mean nor said anything half as bad as what was said about her. Now with not only reading your site but watching UnReal (the producers even used the magazine stunt from season 1 of UnReal!) it’s easy to see how much is made up and the show loses it’s appeal to me. I think the last truly scandalous storyline was Rozlyn hooking up with a producer and that was SO long ago.

With that said, I love hearing all of the real life drama that goes on before and after filming. While the show is getting old for me, this season has by far been the most fun to read about as far as contestant drama, especially with the winner. I don’t read anything that Chris Harrison or current leads write as it is all fluff. I do, however, thoroughly enjoy Sharleen’s blogs & noticed you support her as well.

With that said, my comment is that while I miss more than half the show since I don’t pay much attention, you & Sharleen could have a completely different perspective on a scene and I find myself agreeing and/or laughing along with both of you. For example, Wells’ one-on-one, I missed the entire date and all that lead up to it yet I found myself amused by & agreeing with your commentary about him being friend-zoned & kind of lame. Yet when I read Sharleen’s take, how normal Wells is, he’s not too aggressive, and a type of guy who would be endearing in real life, I pictured a completely different person, even a different date. The reason I point this out is because your two blogs are the only two I read, and while you’re both completely different writers with different backgrounds you each give great blogs every week. To me, you both provide the only entertainment left of this franchise.

My question is, Alex’s bio says he’s 5’7″… is that even possible? Are the other guys so tall that they make him appear to be 5’1″ on a good day?? Or do they just lie in their bios

And one correction about Nick getting dumped by 2 women after sex. I think you’re forgetting that him & Andi didn’t have sex, they made love..

Comment: I agree. That’s why I retweet Sharleen’s blog every week. She offers a different perspective that I do and it’s very insightful. I have definitely disagreed with some of her stuff in the past, but it’s still a good read because she gets you to think about things from angles that I don’t approach.

I don’t know how tall Alex is to be honest. But 5’7” does seem like a reach.

Hey, Steve

So, I’m not watching the Bachelorette, I stopped after episode two, way too annoying and stupid this season for me. Wanted to see what was up with BIP, and after hearing about the couple’s who got “engaged,” well I guess I will not be watching BIP this season either. I did, however, want to ask you your opinion of the new Independence Day movie. I remember going to see the first one [back in the day…LOL] in the theater, but not sure if this reboot/sequel is worth the $$ to see it in the theater. I value your opinion, so wanted to ask.

Have a great weekend, glad to hear your family is moving closer to you, and I am sure they will be happy to have your help!

Take Care:)

Comment: It depends what your value of a dollar is. Are you really gonna be that put out if you spend $10 and the movie isn’t good? Was it better than the first? No. Was it terrible? I didn’t think so. I’d see it in the theater.


Congratulations on your family moving to Texas! Does that mean you now have a second job as a babysitter? Oh, I’m sure I will be asked to watch the kids plenty.

1. You’ve mentioned liking Taylor Swift a few times in past columns. How do you feel about her recent dating drama? I’m sorry that she seems to be off the market again. Are you still a fan? It was out of left field and kinda random. And remember all the lovey dovey stuff she posted with Calvin in their year together? Look what happened to them. So yeah, I don’t really think it’s anything other than she likes to date and moves on quickly.

2. Do the producers discourage or prevent some popular Bachelorette contestants from going on Bachelor in Paradise to give themselves options for the next Bachelor? Or are the top six this season missing for other reasons (maybe just unfounded hopes of being the Bachelor)? Yes, this season none of the top 6 appear on BIP. But in the past, that hasn’t stopped them. So I don’t think that’s a set rule for them.

3. Why aren’t your spoilers and recaps for Bachelors 13-15 on the dropdown menu with the more recent ones? I can get to them only by direct url.

Thanks so much!

Comment: I’d have to go searching for them and add them to the site. Didn’t even realize until your email that they weren’t there.

Hi Steve!

Congrats to your sister and her family on their big move! How wonderful that you’ll be able to see so much more of them and especially the kids! You seem like a very loving and involved uncle which is really special for them! Do your sister and bro-in-law watch the show? Maybe they can be guests on your podcast whenever you start it. I’m guessing Olivia and Nicholas are probably too young still to care much about it.

Have a great day!

Comment: They would do it. They know what I do, although they don’t really understand what I do. I’m sure you’ll be seeing them in the future of either video chats or podcasts.


I just read your spoilers from bachelor in paradise and I was shocked. Does abc and producers really think viewers are going to believe three couples got engaged after knowing each other 2 weeks. These have to be either staged or they are all in it for the money (Instagram endorsements and magazine articles). Not that the show already doesn’t seem fake but this just seems outrageous. Like shouldn’t josh Murray hang out let alone meet Amanda’s kids before getting engaged? What is your take on it? I thought I was pretty clear on my opinion in yesterday’s post, but for those that may have missed it, yes, it’s a joke. These people are in this for money and they drink the Kool Aid that producers pour for them.

When I saw grant got engaged to lace I almost started hysterically laughing. Like this by far has to be a joke. Did grant research before and pick the most idiotic vulnerable girl to ‘fall for’. It just seems highly suspect given he past dating history. Was grant upset he got so early from the bachelorette that he figured the only way to extend his 15 minutes was to get engaged on BIP. Seems like something he would do from the previous articles you posted? Do you think lace is going read all the terrible things about him online when she’s back and they’ll be broken up by the end of BIP What are your thoughts?

Comment: Grant has a new girl every 17 minutes. And they were both away at BIP filming when I released the emails from his exes. I think Lace will come to her senses at some point. But then again, maybe Lace doesn’t care because she’s more about being a “couple” and capitalizing on opportunities than worrying about if Grant’s actually a good guy. We’ve seen Lace has a little crazy in her. Maybe two crazies can make it work? I doubt it, but if there was someone for Grant, it quite possibly could be her. Did you see Grant deleted all his pics of Jen yesterday? Soooooo, he goes on the “Bachelorette” and returns from filming and all his pictures with Jen were still up, but after BIP he takes them all down? He’s bizarre.

Hi Steve,

Love the site – been following your spoilers for what seems like forever!

Question: since Caila was slated to be this season’s bachelorette (prior to the seemingly last minute “divine intervention”, replacing her with JoJo), were this season’s guys cast for Caila? Or would it have been the same guys no matter who the lead was? Same question regarding travel locations: would they ever give better filming locations to a lead who fans were more invested in?

Thanks in advance and keep up the great work!

Comment: A majority of the cast every season is booked well before the lead is decided on. They’re casting a television show, not the 25 most perfect people in the world for their lead. They don’t care about that.

Dear Steve – At the end of “The Bachelor”, I was rooting for Ben and Lauren and hoping they would have their wedding on TV or be lucky enough to be picked up for a reality series. I started following them on their social media accounts and SnapChat, and I feel like she is a totally different person than we ever saw on the show! Not that viewers ever REALLY get to know a person on a reality show, but she shows her immaturity every day. Her true colors have definitely come out in her statements about why they aren’t watching “The Bachelorette” – which have all been total BS. If they would just be honest that it’s just too uncomfortable because of their history, people could respect that it would be hard to watch the other person her fiancée fell for. To say they’ve been too busy to watch – yeah, I’m sure they never watched their own season on the ABC app. And they surely don’t have a DVR, right – maybe someone can give them a lesson on streaming video. On the Mondays since The Bachelorette started, she was able to tweet about watching the playoffs, which she was grumbling about, she’s been able to post shopping pics, and of course has had her multiple ridiculous selfies of air-kissing on all of her social media. Just today on, there was 2 articles about them – one about getting their show, the other about how life has finally slowed down recently so they’ve had more time to do the things they want to do. Hmmmm – so why not just be honest and say she just doesn’t want to watch JoJo – or that she doesn’t want Ben to watch JoJo.

Her social media is so self-centered – why is a 26 year-old obsessed with stupid SnapChat filters? Ummm, my elementary and middle school daughters, and their friends, have tried the filters a couple of times and then they are over them… And the level of disrespect towards Ben when she does include him is really sad. To roll her eyes and sigh in annoyance when he’s focused on watching basketball or on his phone…. why would you show the world over and over again how mad you are that your boyfriend is chilling instead of doting on you 24 hours a day? And posting weekly videos laughing AT him – clearly not WITH him – at his singing, etc… She’s a mini-Kim Kardashian with her selfies. Kissing the camera, posing like she does just shows she’s in this relationship for what fame she can get out of it instead of true love.

Anyone else feel this way?

Comment: I had no idea she did any of that because I don’t follow her on Snapchat. Different strokes for different folks I guess. We are living in different times, that’s for sure.

Anyways, Ashley and Jared!??, do you have ANY scoop on them?! I KNOW they are in love w/each other…not sure why they just won’t date!!! Nick posted a pic w Ashley once, (late spring maybe) and I commented on it, and said Nick-you should just scoop her up, since Jared isn’t man enough to admit that he is in love w/ her- was totally just joking left that comment for the hell of it not thinking anything and literally Nick and Jared BOTH replied which i never thought would happen, nick replied first, and said ‘Haha, she is a great girl, but I couldn’t do that to my buddy (aka Jared)’ and Jared said ‘I know, maybe one day I will become a man’ AKA HE LOVES HER, so just don’t know why they 1) aren’t together and 2) didn’t get together on BIP again, bc I’m sure next week/month they will be hanging out again like always. It just seems so strange to me!

Comment: They are not together. That’s what I can tell you.

I am so confused so far about Luke and Jojo.. They seem to be hitting it off really well so far and with one date left after hometowns I see him far higher than Chase in her leader board. How does Chase make it to top 3 and Luke out at 4? Any clue where it goes wrong?

Comment: The hometown date. What in particular? That I don’t know.

Hi Steve!

My husband and I have always watched the show, even though he kind of hates it, and he doesn’t read your site but knows I do and often asks “what does Reality Steve have to say about this?” Here’s his important question for you, asked after watching Jojo and Luke’s gross 20 minute make-out session: “what do they do about their boners? They just walk back into the room with all the other guys pitching a huge tent?” It’s kind of a good question.

Comment: Maybe by the time they walk back in the room, the stiffy has gone away. I think the cameras just try and make sure that those aren’t shown, but absolutely any normal guy would get aroused pressing up against JoJo. That’s natural.

I just got done reading your latest column and I can’t believe there will be three engagements on this season of BIP! This is after 3 weeks of knowing each other? Unbelievable. I guess the televised wedding of Jade and Tanner and all of the paid promotions on Instagram are really motivating these people. Which of these 3 couples do you see splitting first? I would say Lace and Grant. At least Evan and Carly both live in Nashville and could have a chance. I can’t wait for the rest of your spoilers from this season! Any idea if they are doing the After Paradise show this year?

Thanks for all of your hard work to get us these spoilers Reality Steve!

Comment: Yeah, I’d go with Grant and Lace as well. I just don’t see it. She has no idea what she’s getting into. Maybe she should talk to Grant’s last three exes, all who he cheated on and all who he lied to, and then maybe decide if this is the guy she’s gonna marry.

I cannot stop laughing over Grant and Lace! Everyone knows by now what a codependent weirdo Grant is, but Lace is the same. Immediately after returning from the Bachelor, Lace started dating my friend’s ex. There were photos of both of them all over Instagram, but she’s since scrubbed her account and I can’t even find his anymore. Based on the timing of the BIP casting announcement, Lace must have broken it off with this guy very shortly beforehand. Sounds a lot like Grant, jumping into the next big thing before even washing their hands of their current lovers. They totally deserve each other, and the impending breakup which I’m sure will come very soon. Yeah, she did. I remember seeing pics of her with that guy and then all the sudden she was on BIP. It’s comical what these people will do to get attention.

As for Carly and Evan, they both come off as desperate for love from anybody that will give it to them. Don’t know whether that’s a recipe for forever or disaster.

Thanks for all you do! I love reading your site, if it wasn’t for this I would have stopped watching the show long ago. Wish you’d been around from the beginning (I’ve been watching on and off since Andrew Firestone’s season!) but then again, the show was entirely different back then.

Comment: I actually was around back then. I’ve recapped every season of this franchise except for seasons 1 & 2 of the “Bachelor.” 30 of 32 seasons, plus all the summer shows. But the earlier seasons are on old sites that long gone and I don’t think I still have the files.

Hi Steve,

I really enjoyed reading the Texas Monthly article about you. It made me wonder – what is your favorite component of your job? The investigating? Writing the re-caps? Dr. Reality Steve? Which part do you like the best? Favorite part is when filming is happening, getting tips, and figuring stuff out. Or just flat out being told stuff that goes down because I know no one else has it.

Crazy, scary, weird about having a stalker. 🙁 Did you get a restraining order? It’s a long story that I’m not going to get into, but in a short answer, no. I didn’t. It’s complicated.

While reading the article that re-visited the Nick airplane videos, it had me wondering about what – if any – was Nick’s fall out with producers for spoiling info immediately after filming. Do you think the producers made/encouraged Nick to go on stage with Andi and talk about doing “fiancé stuff” in the fantasy suite? That comment was made even more odd than it originally came across after one of your readers shared his actual conversation with Andi about sex in the fantasy suite, as published in her book. (And not to get into it, but what a hypocrite Andi is for saying Nick’s comment was “below the belt,” but then going on to publish the same but more detailed info about sex with Nick and others.) I know they were pissed at him, but at that point, there was nothing they could do. I don’t think they forced him to do anything. They just weren’t happy at all. Kinda like Kaitlyn last season. Once the snap got out, it obviously ruined her season, but what can you do at that point other than not address it and move on.

Very interesting about 3 (!) engagements. Seems highly unlikely any will last. They all seem like very unlikely matches. Do you think this will be the end of BiP? How on earth will they be able to top this next season? No, I definitely think it’s coming back.

And finally, who do you think is the most “normal” couple out of the franchise? Is it correct that Des and Chris are the only couple to date that haven’t gone on to do more reality shows? (If so, they get my vote.) Probably Ashley & JP until they went and did Celebrity Marriage Boot Camp. They still might be normal but it alters my opinion slightly. But outside of that, they do the least amount of self promotion that I’ve seen, so I guess I’ll go with them.

Thanks, Steve! Oh, and so exciting that your niece and nephew will be so close to you! Enjoy all of the time you will get with them!! 🙂

Comment: Only two more days til they’re here. They’re driving out from Southern California this morning.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.

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  1. j1scarlett

    June 29, 2016 at 9:17 AM

    Regarding the knights and castles email, yeah everything back then was pretty simple, women were basically treated like property, especially the ones from rich enough families to end up with princes/knights. Disney movies arent real life.

  2. angelfish

    June 29, 2016 at 12:26 PM

    Don’t forget the real possibility of dying in childbirth, no modern dental care, no running water and terrible wi-fi reception!

    I don’t actually read most of the letters, as most refute the assertion that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question”. Because this website gets a lot of those. A LOT.

    And I think Steve has incredible patience, but that IS his job. If he posted one single column each week, I’d be more critical of his construction and proofreading skills. But as he does post 3 columns recapping 2 current shows, live tweeting both shows and other Twitter updates, plus updating on at least 2 upcoming seasons, I personally can bypass the occasional misspelling or subject/verb disagreement.

    His entertainment value to me far exceeds his need to exhibit perfect grammar and spelling. Of course, YMMV.

    Those kids on the Baby Bachelorette are adorable and do a really good job staying focused. I’m impressed.

  3. cjscjs711

    June 29, 2016 at 4:44 PM

    Yes, correcting one’s grammar and performing Spellcheck on one’s work can be time consuming, but that is what’s expected of many many people who write and do not earn a six-figure income.

    On the subject of writing, I was recently reading artist Wanda Gag’s published journals and even though edited, had a lot of ho-hum moments in them. Then last night I was reading an old journal of mine – same criticism! How many people write a journal with an international audience in mind, and Andi clearly didn’t – which she readily admits! She said she thought about editing or rewriting parts of it but decided to leave it in it original, authentic, un-rewritten form. It’s what people use a journal for – to vent their feelings, preserve accurate memories, etc. People who liked Andi will probably like her book. People who didn’t like her, will probably still not like her. Andi’s a smart woman, she’s pretty much an ordinary woman, and her journal is going to be – ordinary. Just about a D-List celebrity as well. JMO

  4. rob22

    June 29, 2016 at 5:27 PM

    So, JoJo’s into this for her brand. Rajahs is into this for his brand. Rajahs and JoJo are interested in knocking boots in the Fantasy Suite….. And they will both go their own ways by September, at the latest. The End. No wonder they had to keep Chad around so long. God this is a boring season. I’ve totally lost interest. Everyone is so blatantly insincere. Can’t they fake it any better than this? The “I’m falling in love with you lines” are flat out laughably phony. Why don’t they all just meet at a pickup bar, go home together and have JoJo do the walk of shame. That’s what normal insincere people do.

  5. supersparklyday

    June 29, 2016 at 6:30 PM

    Andi’s comment to Nick about his fiance-type stuff comment being “below the belt”, was for him revealing it on national tv and with her fiance being in the back room, watching it – and once he did that, the gloves were off and he was never going to get a “good review”,the wanker that he is. So Andi mentioning the bad sex was a thank you for that – and Nick earned it.

  6. justforfun

    June 30, 2016 at 12:14 AM

    I just watched “watch what happens live” with Andy Cohen. One of the actresses from Unreal was on. She slammed the bachelor franchise, saying that Unreal is not far from the truth.

    Maybe that’s why I have lost interest in this season of the bachelorette, it seems so fake, and forced. More so than previous seasons. I blame it on bad casting. I am losing interest fast.

    Three engagements on BIP? Complete joke on the viewers. I could see Carly & Evan making it possibly. They are both so desperate for anyone to love them. Kind of like Des & Chris.

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