Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 12 - JoJo

The “Bachelorette” Episode 7 Recap Incl “Men Tell All” Taping This Weekend, & Robby’s Ex Instagram Post

Photo Credit: ABC

-We start off after the last rose ceremony in Argentina. I know it’s only been two weeks but it seems like two months. Who is this JoJo girl that everyone speaks of? Who are these six guys? What is happening right now? Amazing that this season has done this well in the ratings this year considering they had two weeks where they had no episode. Not that I didn’t think JoJo would have good ratings but just that things feel so disjointed when they have to take two weeks off of running nothing. But whatever the case, our lead’s name is JoJo and she has 6 guys who are still competing for her. Four of them look alike. Then you have a dwarf and a country bumpkin as the other two who were spared last week only to be eliminated this week. I mean, you didn’t even need to know the spoilers to know who was going home this week. Like Alex stood a chance. Or maybe I should say, like Alex stood a chance even standing on a mini ladder.

-This week there will be three 1-on-1 dates and a group date. No roses will be given out on the 1-on-1’s, but there will be one on the group date, which means that lucky individual will be getting a hometown – because we couldn’t have possibly figured that out on our own. The first date will begin immediately as that guy will drive with JoJo to the Argentina countryside. Kinda like how Jared got to drive with Kaitlyn in Ireland last season while the other guys took different transportation. The only difference being that Kaitlyn liked Jared about 1 billion times more than JoJo is into Alex. Does JoJo even know anything about Alex? Like, his name? Or if he wears lifts in his shoes like Jake Pavelka to barely be taller than her? These are questions I want answers to dammit.

-So as they’re driving to the countryside, we see what JoJo would be like on a road trip. She wants flaming hot Doritos and Pringles. And a little small dude she can fit in her pocket. While these two are on their way there, the other 5 guys get to take a rickety old bus and make up lame rap songs about Alex. Enough already with the songs this year guys. The rapping, the group singing, it’s tired. Not to mention your songs suck. Since once the final four rolls around the guys are separated and never see each other until the rose ceremonies, thankfully this looks to be our last group rapping song forever and ever. Until the MTA this weekend when I’m sure they’ll whip us up some doozy that’ll make Jay Z look like Coolio. Lets hope that doesn’t happen because we could really use less untalented rapping in our lives. We’re supposed to be making this a better country. This will make it worse.

-If it wasn’t bad enough that JoJo knew even last episode that Alex had zero chance at getting a hometown date, she takes it to a whole other level by making him dress like an Argentinian Gaucho. Or as I like to call it, a Frenchman who stole Jerry Seinfeld’s pirate shirt. What the hell was that? That was a gaucho? Looked like he should be painting the Mona Lisa with his monacle and palette. These two went horse back riding and needless to say, Alex looked like he was sitting in that big boy chair again when he was on top of the horse. It was quite embarrassing. Then the real gaucho guy somehow drugged the horse by whisperin in his ear and got him to lay down. Did anyone else find Mr. Horse Whisperer rather creepy? Like, he got the horse on the ground, was fiddling with his legs, started spooning him, then asked Alex and JoJo to join. Huh? I believe there are certain websites where you have to pay to watch horse love. No thanks. This shouldn’t be shown on network TV before 8:00pm, I’m sorry.

-Now lets get to the night portion of this date where it gets really good. And by “really good” I mean “the part that JoJo has been waiting for since the last rose ceremony.” Alex is complimenting the f**k out of JoJo today and she seems to care about as much the rest of us do. Alex: “I’ve never felt so willing to fall in love with someone.” JoJo: “I saw a side of Alex today that made me smile.” Translation: It’s always good to throw in a few nice words before you drop a guy on his ass. Producers told me so. She then asks him who she’d meet if God forbid he got a hometown date. You know, like if Robby, Jordan, Luke, and Chase were all struck by lightning and couldn’t continue with the show. And even then, she probably would’ve called back dudes from the first night before giving Alex a hometown I’m sure. He says she’d meet his mom, brother, sister-in-law, and grandma. Well, at least they got a shout out on the show tonight since there was a better chance of Luke or Chase cracking a smile than of Alex’s family appearing next week.

-Alex must know he’s light years behind everyone else and JoJo would rather make out with a wine bottle Soraya style then spend another minute with this troll. So when you’re behind, what do you do? What producers tell you you need to do. And that’s express your love to JoJo. Alex: “I need you to know…I think I’m falling in love with you. I know I’m falling in love with you.” Yes, he said those exact two sentences back-to-back without pause. Don’t ask me how that was possible, but he did. So which one is it? You think you are, or you are? Not that it mattered since, well, JoJo couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “When you told me you were falling in love with me, I don’t feel as excited as I should feel.” Ouch. Dagger. Alex, take your pirate shirt and stupid beret and leave this show now. Just get ready for Saturday when you inevitably spend all your time humping Chad’s leg trying to rile him up. That’s what you’re good at. Winning JoJo’s heart and wanting intercourse with her? Not so much. Nice try though. See you on Paradise in the summer of 2017.

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  1. crushonspivey

    July 12, 2016 at 11:22 AM

    Be funny if the Rodgers family talked about all the gay rumors that surround Aaron next episode. No clue if they are true, and doubt they are, but they plague that guy. Then combine it with him deciding to separate himself from his family, and it does make you wonder about the guy. Jordan did seem tortured by that relationship–or lack thereof.

    Poor Alex. That Argentine horse had a better chance at being mounted by Jojo than he did/does. And I was seriously hoping they’d have a miniature horse for Alex to ride on that date.

    Still just a really bad editing and production job this season. Have hard time seeing Jojo really finding a deep connection with any of these guys. Focused on the wrong things for far too long, the wrong guys. The hook for the show–finding love–is really not there this time. It is just a farce, and for that, I can watch a show that makes fun of this one and has better jokes.

  2. rob22

    July 12, 2016 at 11:26 AM

    I’m at the point of giving up. Yeah, these shows are boring as hell & the recaps keep it somewhat interesting. But, I mean, we’re at the point where everyone is giving their “I’m falling in love with you” scripted statements on cue. I guess it would be ridiculous to expect any genuine emotion, but geez, they’re just mailing it in this season.

    Oh, and I guess I see where JoJo is into Rajahs. But clearly he’s just playing the game. So you can’t have the JoJo and Jordan show RS has been talking about with only 50% of the pair participating IMO.

  3. chrisoulaf

    July 12, 2016 at 11:39 AM

    RS, your interpretation is way off. How did Jordan sell Aaron out on national television like that? Jordan opened up about his family since hometown dates are next and was honest about the non-existent relationship. It wasn’t a knock and it wasn’t a sell out, it felt very authentic and the whole family is obviously bothered by it. Not to mention, Aaron doesn’t seem to have much of a relationship with anyone else in the family…that says a lot about Aaron and Olivia. Jordan handled himself very well…not sure what show you were watching last night???

    Jordan gets attacked because he’s ridiculously attractive, articulate and a threat to everyone there. The guys focus on him because they see that JoJo has fallen hard. Jealousy rears its ugly head.

  4. thisshow

    July 12, 2016 at 12:27 PM

    That other Rodgers brother seems like a mega douche. Not Aaron, the other one. Doubt Olivia is the big bad evil culprit, though I’m sure the family would prefer someone a little more docile for their son. rme Anyway, boring season indeed. IA that Jojo is all over Jordan, and he’s just playing along. How long can he keep it up post show?

  5. purplerayne

    July 12, 2016 at 12:29 PM

    “Jordan gets attacked because he’s ridiculously attractive, articulate and a threat to everyone there…”

    LOL x 100000000000

  6. angelfish

    July 12, 2016 at 1:07 PM

    I don’t really see the endgame as JoJo dumping Jordan so much as Jordan ditching her as soon as he gets a decent break.

    We really don’t have any info on his supposed commentator job, but I don’t see him taking JoJo the needy albatross along for the ride. I think he can ultimately do better than a Texas house flipper still in love with her hairdresser.

  7. llevin

    July 12, 2016 at 1:34 PM

    Your site sucks. It is impossible to comment, due to the fact that it keeps saying “unresponsive scripts.” The pop up ads are so intrusive that I have 3 open windows at any given time. You will not pay the bills with these ads because people are giving up on trying to navigate this site. I’ve tried different devices, pcs, macs, safari, Firefox, chrome, explorer, whatever I use does not work. Please don’t force me to give up on you, but I can’t take the frustration of not being able to access your content. Plus, the pictures at the bottom of your site (the ads) are always disgusting.

  8. rob22

    July 12, 2016 at 1:55 PM

    The site is really bad. Not as bad today, but it periodically is very jumpy and it keeps causing my browser to crash. Sometimes I type in a comment & lose it to a system crash. I mean you can only load so much crap on one site. RS must set the record for ads he crams into this site. So, what do we expect the site to be like? I live with it, but it is the worst website I’ve ever encountered. The recent “improvements” were superficial. The site looks a little better, but it still performs terribly. I never really cared how it looked either.

  9. ctrealitygirl

    July 12, 2016 at 3:11 PM

    I’m with you 100% chrisoulaf! Everyone’s jumping on the band wagon bashing Jordan today for selling out his brother Aaron. In my opinion Jordan was very tactful when explaining the situation to Jojo and I cannot see any reason his brother would be upset about it. After all, his non relationship with Aaron was all over the internet when Jordan was first announced as a cast member on the show. So what’s the big deal? I didn’t hear him say one bad thing about Aaron…just that he chooses to keep to himself. Furthermore, I don’t get all the Jordan haters out there. f I were in Jojo’s shoes, he’d be my pick too! And Chase as a runner-up, with Luke running a close 3rd. Robby to me is the real douchebag…he’s got total player written all over him.

  10. mauichick

    July 12, 2016 at 9:43 PM

    Pretty sure Steve DOES already pay his bills from the ads on the site. And recently hit his record day on page visits. But yeah, the ads at the bottom are quite gross sometimes.

  11. cjscjs711

    July 12, 2016 at 10:42 PM

    I never see one single ad on this page, and nothing at the bottom. And never have any “jumping”, crashing, etc. I use Adblock Plus, the free version. With some ad-block programs, they open and close the ads in the background so RS would still get his income from the ads (many advertisers pay by the click into their ad, as probably his do).

    Why should Jordan paint his brother in any light other than what is, is? Aaron is famous, he won’t be at the hometown, not as a slap in the face to the show, but just nonvisiting as usual. If Jordan doesn’t like people to know he doesn’t visit his family, then he should visit his family, not shoot the messenger.

  12. supersparklyday

    July 13, 2016 at 11:43 PM

    I have zero problems with this site and I am using a Galaxy S4. Don’t know what anyone else’s problems could be.

    Okay, I have to day that I like JoJo, she is gorgeous and is great on camera – BUT I also have to say she is the worst Bachelorette at acting, ie,acting like she’s interested in her date if their name isn’t Jordan, Roby or Like. That last date with Alex was painful to watch, and when she called him “a cute little gaucho, I knew he was toast – burnt toast. She may have “tried” to make that date interesting – but if she did, it was an EPIC fail ! JoJo, you could at least “try”. Not every guy can be Jordan, ya know.

    The group date was b-o-r-i-n-g
    Can’t the producers have a Plan B for situations like that?

    And hey, Steve, clean up your act. Saying that the seat JoJo was on probably needed to be squeegeed after she got up was just gross. Not your usual vulgarity – just classless. You just don’t get it that not everyone thinks like you do and you could at least TRY to make the column non-insulting to women.

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