In less appetizing news, Gio is still following Julia around because he will not stop until he gets what he wants and the thing he wants is her (ah, romance!) and it shouldn’t matter that he was hooking up with Francesca the night before because his feelings for Julia are so strong. Into this bit of convoluted logic walks Stephen, who is none too pleased with Gio’s advances. “You need to respect what’s going on,” Stephen tells Gio about his burgeoning connection with Julia. “That’s your opinion,” retorts Gio, who makes sure we also know that he does not need a tongue to communicate because his body language is so incredibly advanced. He also mentions that he is “the smartest mother*cker in this house,” and I’d like to wait while someone goes and finds Kaylen and Tori so the two of them can verbally eviscerate the guy in five seconds flat.
“I’m the alpha in this house!” Gio announces like this is the kind of thing human beings actually say and then he walks away from the people who now know with certainty that he’s lost his mind. I’d like to go on the record here and say I fully agree with John’s assessment that someone needs to whoop the guy’s ass at this point. That said, I do not think violence is ever the answer, so maybe someone can just cut the guy’s tongue out. Don’t worry: he’ll still be able to communicate. He’s just that impressive a mother*cker.
And now it’s time for the sixth Match-Up Ceremony and the guys get to choose their matches tonight. John is up first and even Ryan comments that John – who is not explosive – seems different this week. “Yeah,” replies John, “I’ve just kind of decided to stop being an assh*le.” Excellent choice, kid. Anyway, he picks Emma, compliments her appearance, and she legitimately looks happy for the first time in kind of forever. Next up is Cam and he selects Victoria and she is relieved that he remembers her name. Morgan chooses Tori and then Stephen’s prayers are answered by every God and deity in the universe when his name gets called before Gio’s because that means he can declare Julia his match while Gio has to just sit there and take it while realizing that the smartest mother*cker in the house – nay, the smartest mother*cker in the land – was just bested by either fate or by the producer who selected the order of how the guys chose for the evening. To nobody’s surprise, Stephen picks Julia and she appears elated. Besides, she doesn’t believe a single thing that comes out of Gio’s mouth because he’s been declaring his feelings for her while kissing other girls. Will Gio accept her dismissal? Please. All the smartest guy in the whole wide world needs is one chance to prove that she’s wrong! If she’s lucky, maybe he’ll strangle her briefly to make his point all the more clear.
Once Gio comes up to choose from who’s left, Kaylen decides to make this a teachable moment. She announces that she thinks Gio’s match is Francesca because he is a boy and she is a girl and they both need one another to grow into the man and woman each is supposed to be by this point. Not taking too kindly to basically being called an adolescent, Francesca would like to know what Kaylen means, but see, Kaylen doesn’t appreciate Francesca’s mother*cking tone so she calmly asks Ryan to move the proceedings along. And he does! And I hereby suggest that we create a holiday in Kaylen’s honor.
Gio goes ahead and chooses Francesca as his match, but girlfriend is pissed. Someone just called her a little girl and she thinks that’s bullsh*t. Kaylen rises and walks over to her and Gio stands between them as the two start screaming at each other and I am honestly a little confused about what they’re even fighting about, but my guess is that it comes down at its heart to Kaylen being hurt that Gio moved on from her so quickly to both Julia and Francesca and she’s just reacting to that pain. Who really knows? The only thing that’s clear here is that the crazy in the house will get way worse before any of it gets better and I’m looking forward to watching it all in close-up.
Once the poisonous vitriol temporarily shrivels up, Gio and Francesca lock in and they are followed by Prosper choosing Kaylen. Tyler comes up and picks Nicole, a girl he kissed and then betrayed on night one, and she reluctantly places her hand on the screen to solidify his choice. Finally, Asaf and Camille are left and Asaf reveals that he wishes he could have chosen Francesca instead. This news does not delight Camille, but it might be making Francesca very happy because all she really wants is another shot with the guy who slept with her and then proceeded to ignore her. In any case, Francesca can choose Asaf next week; for now, he and Camille are locked in and it’s time to see how many of their matches are actually correct.
Besides the beams already lit by the confirmed matches of Cameron and Mikala and Sam and Alyssa, only two additional beams of light illuminate across the night sky. This crew seriously needs to do something different if they eventually want to walk away with the money they’ll need to pay for all the therapy this love experiment might very well cause them to require.
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Nell Kalter teaches Film and Media at a school in New York. She is the author of the books THAT YEAR and STUDENT, both available on amazon.com in paperback and for your Kindle. Also be sure to check out her website at nellkalter.com. Her twitter is @nell_kalter.