Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise 3

“Bachelor In Paradise” Recap Incl Ames’ Gets Married, & More Josh & Amanda

Photo Credit: ABC

It’s impossible now to actually say what number recap this is for this show. Or what episode they’re on. Technically that was the 4th episode they’ve aired this season, but we’re not on the 4th rose ceremony. And since they started the show on a Tuesday (when the format is Monday/Tuesday), it threw everything off kilter. Not to mention, rose ceremonies happen in the middle of the Monday episode and what not. The whole thing is screwy. Basically, I took that first Tuesday episode that aired after JoJo’s finale as episode 0, because basically all it did was introduce everyone and only showed one date. So last Monday & Tuesday I considered Episode 1, this week Episode 2, and so on and so forth. But in order to not confused everyone, you see I just put “Bachelor in Paradise Recap” in today’s title and left out the episode, because frankly, everyone can have their own interpretation of what episode it is.

If they would just stick with the basic format of running the Monday/Tuesday episodes, with the rose ceremony airing at the end of Tuesday’s episode before “After Paradise” starts, this would be much less confusing. But they don’t. They have to be all screwy and switch everything up to give me a headache. So here we are last night having rose ceremony #2 in the middle of the episode, which would technically mean that episode #3 started half way through last night. That’s when I consider new episodes to begin – once a rose ceremony is over. Because that’s how it is on the “Bachelor/Bachelorette.” But then again, this show tries not to be that since they incorporate more humor and try to be much sillier, so I guess they go by their own rules. Whatever the case, we’ve started episode 3 in my mind last night with the arrival of Caila, the end of the episode arrival of Ashley, then Jen arriving later tonight. Everyone got that? Good. You’ll be tested later.

Evan Still Chasing Amanda

As I said last week, this is totally bizarre and most likely producer driven. As delusional as Evan seems, I can’t possibly think he was that delusional to think that Amanda would even look at him in a romantic way when her face has been stapled to Josh’s from the second he arrived on the island. Yet, there’s Evan interrupting one of their makeout sessions so he can talk to her. He goes to her with the fake date card he made to steal her away, brings her to a tree house, tells her he was there for her, and basically Amanda tells him in so many words to kick rocks. She and Josh wanna make babies like yesterday, so she doesn’t have any time for Evan. This whole time, producers decide to give Josh a pizza to mow down on, which he does, while dubbing in his moaning sounds. I’m stunned at how many of you think those moaning sounds are real. Every single scene with Josh either kissing or eating, they’re piping in the fake moaning sounds and people seem to be buying it. Of course those aren’t real. But apparently they’re having the same effect as if they are.

When the rose ceremony rolls around, there are 9 men and 7 women. So two guys will be going home. Pretty much 4 established roses that are given to be handed out and three possibly in limbo. The 4 established roses are Lace/Grant, Amanda/Josh, Izzy/Vinny/, Emily/Jared. Sarah is deciding between Daniel & Christian, Haley is deciding between Brandon & Nick, and Carly is deciding between Evan & Nick.

At the cocktail party, Christian pulls Sarah aside to make his case on wanting to be kept around, and his case is basically just him making out with her. She seemed to enjoy it. Then over comes Daniel, and Sarah is REALLY wanting him to kiss her since he hasn’t yet. After a bee stings him on his chin, Daniel moves in for the kiss which Sarah thinks is “ok. Wasn’t great.” So naturally, it’d seem like an easy decision to make, right? Especially after she said she really wanted Daniel to kiss her and that would determine who she would give her rose to. Well, apparently not.

Brandon is confident that Haley is giving him her rose after their date the night before, even though he never realized the twins switched up on him, and the show never even acknowledged that he was switched out on. Like, how do they not bring this up? Or maybe they did and they didn’t show us, but wouldn’t that be the whole point of the switch up? To eventually tell Brandon, “Hey, you said you could tell us apart, we switched up on you, and you had no clue. See ya.” Again, apparently not, because as far as the audience saw, the twins never directly told him. They alluded to it. Haley told him that Emily has earrings all up her right ear, whereas she only has a few at the bottom. And also that Emily has more moles on the right side of her face. Brandon seems to be lost to this whole concept, thus signifying why they sent him home. I just wish they actually would’ve showed us.

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  1. shouldbeworking

    August 16, 2016 at 11:24 AM

    I don’t know what drives me battier – Josh’s moaning when he is devouring Amanda’s face or the fact they are kissing constantly! Either way, it’s so annoying!

  2. crushonspivey

    August 16, 2016 at 11:35 AM

    Daniel is the star of this season. The gift that just keeps on giving. HE is actually looking like a solid dude, but so quirky and funny. Dude is off the wall, but one of the only things worth watching this season.

    And yes, this show is so contrived. Evan is a clown and willing to play ball for the producers. So are the twins. Rose ceremony last night showed as much. Carly picking Evan was stupid and Hailey not picking Brandon was equally stupid. But of course it clears the way for the twins exit next episode right? Because if Brandon stays he stick with Hailey, and then they both stay.

    It is all just cartoonish.

    Also, Nick dude, you seem to have grown up a lot since Andi’s season. You seem like a better dude now. You don’t need this crap anymore. Move on man. Put it behind you. Go get a life outside the nonsense. This crap will drag you down. You’re 34. Move on man. Move on.

  3. TeresaRenee

    August 16, 2016 at 12:04 PM

    Ames is still gay.

    Carly is pathetic.

  4. jessicat

    August 16, 2016 at 1:38 PM

    Why does Steve keep putting an apostrophe after “Ames”? It’s just a name, like James or Jules. No apostrophe.

  5. valadega

    August 16, 2016 at 1:47 PM

    After viewing Sarah’s interactions with Christian and Daniel, she needs to write a book entitled “Why I am Still Single.” I believe MOST PEOPLE who have viewed her on this show ALREADY KNOWS WHY!

  6. olestinker

    August 16, 2016 at 1:49 PM

    Two comments.

    First, regarding Andi’s book, all I know is that two weeks ago, my wife said that the audio version was available for free from Audible, and we had plans to listen to it on a road trip we took last weekend. Flash forward to Wednesday, when we tried to download it, and it was selling for $29.00. So I should say that BIP has jump-started sales.

    Second, I noticed that Evan had a bandage around his ankle when the medics showed up. Maybe he twisted the ankle earlier, and was mixing booze and pain killers? That and spending the last week in the sun will cause anyone to crash hard.

  7. ashleigh11

    August 16, 2016 at 2:16 PM

    I was just watching Nick Viall on Afterbuzz on Youtube and apparently Evan had a really bad foot infection and was feeling quite sick that day. Not sure how he got the infection – maybe he stepped on something and didn’t have his shots up to date? If he was on painkillers and antibiotics for the foot infection and then drank half a bottle of tequila during their drinking contest, it’s not surprising he felt really messed up.

  8. pambeesly

    August 17, 2016 at 3:00 AM

    Page 3: whose*

    And you remember Jen if you’re like me, and had her to win it all in your Bachelor Bracket that gets set after night 1. (Top 3 were set to Jen, Olivia, and Jojo) Side note: I don’t read the spoilers until after night 1, at least.

  9. kimmyfromdablock

    August 17, 2016 at 8:42 AM

    The site keeps crashing. I have profound thoughts that I type and then BOOM !!!!

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