-Later that night, a third unmemorable character from season’s past arrives. Hey everyone, it’s Ryan B! Remember him???!!! Me neither. He was on Kaitlyn’s season. He’s so old now, even his beard is turning grey. You know what’s weird? That there are two spellings for the word gray. It’s gray and grey. And both are acceptable. How is this? It’s a color. Why should there be two ways to spell it? I don’t understand exactly why that’s the case, so I googled it and really got no explanation. It just says in the definition that “Grey or gray is an intermediate color between black and white. It is a neutral or achromatic color, meaning literally that it is a color ‘without color’.” I just realized that I never knew there were two spellings. I was just always going with gray. Maybe we should all just blame Christian Grey for this dilemma. Perverted bastard. I think we should go with one spelling and stick with it. I’m tired of this two spelling of gray/grey bulls***. Pick one and lets move on.
-Well Ryan B. walks in, gray/greybeard and all, and immediately connects with Haley. Probably because she’s the only one who’s even available, but whatever. They are set to go on a date where they go horseback riding and have zero conversation. I mean, this is the third season of Paradise and by now we all should know that the amount of time spent showing what happens on these dates is equivalent to how important the franchise thinks you are. Ryan and Haley maybe had 2 minutes of their horseback riding date shown. So they are about as important as crabs this season to say the least. Lets just hope they didn’t pass crabs along to each other for the sake of humanity. That wouldn’t be a good thing. But yeah, when the show doesn’t care about showing their date and knows that Ryan B was one episode filler, then why should the rest of us care?
-This episode has basically been Josh/Amanda, Nick/Jen, and Evan/Carly-free, which is probably a good thing. Or bad thing depending on how you want to look at it. With that said, they figured they needed to update us on at least one of the couples who’ve been around since the first day, so Grant “surprises” Lace with a couples massage, and then a trip to the hot tub where he tells her he loves her. Knowing what we know about Grant’s past, this is utterly laughable. At this time in filming, they would’ve been on day 10 or 11 or so. Around there. And Grant is in love. Mind you, this is the same guy who once met a girl on an airplane, while he was engaged to someone else, never told her, immediately started dating her, and 9 months later got a roman numeral tattoo of their flight number on his arm. The same girl that at the “Men Tell All” this season, tried to dismiss as some girl that he “barely dated for 9 months.” Your credibility is shot, Grant.
-So I guess it’s only fitting that this guy told someone he was in love with them in less than two weeks. That same someone who immediately went after Chad the second she got to Mexico, in case you forgot Grant. I don’t think there’s anything that anyone sees in these two that’s remotely likable, but hey, that could just be me. It’s tough seeing it play out when you know the past. And yes, they’re still engaged and together, but I’m really curious what Lace thinks about the stories that have come up. I mean, these aren’t opinions, or rumors, they’re facts. Hell, the most recent ex “fact” is tattooed on his arm. Can’t hide that one. Oh, I’m sure Lace is just excited that she has a ring, people are talking about her, and she’s getting attention, but any woman with any self respect would at least be tapping the brakes in her mind after seeing/hearing the Grant stories. The guy obviously is more in love with being in love, than he actually is committing to someone else. It will be interesting to see how these two play out.
-Which brings us to the final drama of the night, and that was Vinny and Izzy, which is Vizzy. After watching that last night, we can now say they’re headed to fizzyville. After getting rejected by Caila essentially, Brett momentarily moved on to Haley until Ryan arrived, so then he went to Izzy who, in full disclosure, did tell him what she told the other girls in that he was her perfect man in the looks department. “If I created the perfect man, it’d look like Brett…without the business in the front, party in the back haircut.” Which seems perfectly logical to base who you’re more interested strictly on looks. Cuz that’s always a solid foundation for a relationship. Then again, no one’s really confusing Izzy with being a MENSA member, and on a show where superficiality runs rampant, I guess none of us should be surprised whatsoever.
-Regardless, Izzy has a sit down with Vinny and she asks him if he noticed she was being distant. He had no clue then said she feels 75% and not 100% now, and it’s basically because walking sex on a stick, Brett, showed up. And I mean, who can resist that? Apparently not Izzy. She even told Vinny when Brett walked in, her stomach flipped. Hmmmm, maybe it was some bad tacos down in Mexico? Vinny is blown away that he’s being replaced by lamp guy, Izzy is crying and basically telling Vinny she’s interested in someone else after declarations all episode that Vizzy was a tight couple. Vinny doesn’t know what to do, everyone else is surprised Izzy had a change of heart after a 5 minute talk with Mr. Lamp, and now Vinny wants to leave. The guys tell him to go have one final talk with Izzy before he officially makes his decision, and that’s where the show ends – right before that convo happens. Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn!!!!!!
-So tonight we’ll get the dramatic conclusion of that talk which will essentially be Izzy saying she’s unsure of her feelings, which then sends Vinny packing. Also, I believe tonight we’ll see the entrance of Wells to take Ashley’s mind off Jared for at least a couple seconds and watch her madly fall in love with someone else in 47 seconds. Vinny and Izzy will both be on “After Paradise” tonight, so that should be somewhat interesting. Nick will also be there, because, of course. He’s on the Nick Viall Let-Me-Explain-Everything-To-Everyone Tour right now. Only fitting his next stop would be this show. Talk to you tomorrow.
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