Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise 3

“Bachelor in Paradise” Recap & the Next “Bachelor” Being Announced Tonight

Photo Credit: ABC

-Of course we start off with where we ended last week, and that’s Ashley conversation with Caila. Frankly, I couldn’t tell you what it was about other than Jared, and frankly, I’m starting to not care. Since we know how the show ends up, it’s really hard to make a big deal out of the drama that THEY make a big deal out of on the show. It’s like watching the Kardashians show, even though I’ve never seen it. We already see their lives and major storylines from their show play out in the tabloids, so how suspenseful can the show actually be? I mean, we knew Wells was showing up last night and was asking Ashley on a date, and that Caila and Jared aren’t even together anymore. Well, maybe you don’t know because maybe you weren’t paying attention to this site the last couple weeks, but they aren’t. So maybe Ashley was right in her assessment of everything? I know no one wants to give her credit because they’re tired of her, but hey, she essentially called this one.

-However, Ashley’s obsession with Jared in that moment is certainly clouding her opinion of Caila. Calling her a backstabbing whore friend? Sure, Caila told you she wasn’t gonna do the show – then she did. She said she wouldn’t go out with Jared – and she did. That’s life. Get over it. I think Caila is a little more calculating than she lets on, and yes, I do agree she agreed to come on the show late, because I was telling you back in late May/early June, Caila and Olivia were out. Then right after I reported that, I was told Caila keeps going back and forth and still might go on. Real shocking considering what we’ve seen from her this season. She couldn’t make a decision and stick with it if her life depended on it apparently. After their talk that accomplished nothing other than they weren’t gonna talk, Jared tells Ashley I believe for the 421st time, that he wants to focus on his relationship with Caila. This leaves Ashley a crying mess (again), and has her talking to her dog that passed away asking for a new man to show up in her life so she can get over Jared. Yeah, but this show isn’t edited Nick. Or staged. Please.

-On cue, in walks Wells. What’s funny is Ashley in her blog the last two weeks constantly brings up the fact she was interested in Wells and was waiting for him to show up. Yet at no point did they ever show her saying that on camera, or even mentioning it once he did show up. They’ve had no problem showing other people say “Oh, I wish so and so was here,” but for Ashley, it ruins here Jared obsession, so they never showed it. So Wells pulls a few people aside, and pretty much all of them are begging him to take Ashley so she’s dial her crazy down a couple hundred notches. He talks to Haley, she tells him to take Ashley. He talks to Caila, she tells him to take Ashley. Hell, I think she might’ve even offered up a million dollars and her first born to take her away. Lace tells him to take Ashley as well. So when Wells finally decides to take Ashley, it’s like the 4th of July for these people. It was like someone just poured water on the Wicked Witch of the West. Except no one handed Wells Ashley’s broom as a token of their appreciation.

-So while Wells and Ashley head out on their date, Jared gets some more alone time with Caila to talk about Ashley finally being out of their lives. Sort of. And again for the second week in a row, either Caila is the worst kisser on the planet or she just has zero interest in Jared. For two people that are supposedly “coupled up” on this show, they’re kisses are completely awkward. Jared is all in, and Caila looks to be on a completely different page. Oh she kisses him back. It’s not like she’s giving him the Heisman, but if you watch closely, it’s about as awkward and distant of a kiss as you’ll get between people on this show. It’s kinda like when Lorraine Baines McFly and Marty went to the prom in 1955 and she tried to kiss him in the car. Ok, maybe Caila doesn’t act that scared when Jared’s tongue is on the prowl for her esophagus, but she sure doesn’t wanna stay in there long. It’s like a woodpecker. Or a lizard.

-Wells and Ashley’s date seems to be going wonderfully. I mean, they’re enjoying tacos and who couldn’t have fun doing that? Granted, Ashley’s taco hasn’t been touched by anyone ever, so Wells is really exploring new territory here. Hey, the show made the innuendo. I’m just following along with it. Ashley says she’s excited to finally talk to someone else, but she’s so scared that she sucks at dating. Yeah, I could see that. I mean, when your life revolves around pining over a guy for a year who really won’t give you the time of day and has told you there won’t be anything romantic between you two, I guess you would be kinda clueless as to what to do on a date. Wells tells her his favorite band is the Talking Heads. Ashley says since she knows he’s into music, he’ll totally respect the fact that her favorite band is Hanson. This was never shown on camera but I think Wells had an adverse reaction to the tacos before Ashley could even finish that sentence and he went around the corner, barfed up everything he’d just ate, then had explosive diarrhea to boot. Hanson? I guess that pretty much explains everything when it comes to Ashley. She’s a 10 year old girl.

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  1. bunnybuns

    August 30, 2016 at 11:48 AM

    Okay, I don’t normally say this but why doesn’t Jarod just tell Ashley I. to f*ck off. I know this is harsh but I mean really! Why is he enabling her? He’s willing to risk a great relationship to babysit Ashley who is quickly becoming a stalker. I’m sure she’s a nice girl and all but get on with your life already!!! That’s all from me! Thanks, Cathy

  2. kimmyfromdablock

    August 30, 2016 at 12:17 PM

    I totally agree with you bunnybuns (nice name). I was thinking why does he continue to babysit her — what a weasel. Run Caila run!!

    How does Amanda not see what everyone is warning her about? He actually did a demonstration for her last night. The guy is a hot headed, aggressive loser!! She is one desperate dim bulb.

    I have enjoyed Carly’s turnaround with Evan.

    Wells was a breath of fresh air.

  3. rob22

    August 30, 2016 at 12:33 PM

    I gotta say, Josh is a complete idiot to think that he could come on a Reality Show to rehab his image. You can just see the producers pushing his buttons by sending Evan and Nick into poke him repeatedly. The entire goal is to get Josh to melt down on national TV. Now if Josh was, in fact, a laid back guy, he’d probably come off OK. He’d be a little annoyed, maybe complain, but he wouldn’t contort his face, turn bright red and act as angry as he does unless…. he has a real problem with anger. Evan had a quote a few episodes back where he said that people who regurgitate affirmational quotes all the time are just trying to hide their real self.

    That’s what Josh does and it’s very transparent. He can’t control is anger, and he flashes it quite easily. It’s been an epic fail on his part trying to look good & repair his image. He’s done the opposite. I can totally see what Andi was saying.

  4. crushonspivey

    August 30, 2016 at 12:34 PM

    My favorite part of last night was after Cailla and Ashley had their fight and agreed to stay away from each other, they showed them sitting together talking by the pool when Wells walked in. So yeah, that fight wasn’t toally staged and fake.

    Another favorite part was seeing Nick and Josh sit on opposite sides of someone chatting. Because, you know, they hate each other and avoid each other. But I did love teh Jersey Shore style fake fight.

    And if you have not figured out that this show is highly scripted and manipulated, you are dumb. By scripted I do not mean the words are written and they are memorizing lines. by scripted I mean teh talks and fights are choreographed. Who talks to who about what is choreographed. Who enters when is choreographed. Seriously, how many times this season alone have we seen someone talk about someone for them to walk in next? Seriously, they aren’t even trying to hide it. They want maximum fake drama, and have put together the show to reflect that.

    And as for the engagements? LOLZ. none of those couples even like each other. Don’t BS me into thinking any of them are really engaged. Stop the BS Elan. Seriously, stop it.

    Steve, keep up the good work taking the p*$$ out of this franchise. But you really need to be more brutal towards BIP contestants. They deserve it.

  5. duckquack

    August 30, 2016 at 1:45 PM

    Dumbshley is entertainment for the Bachelor in Paradise, the writers for the show are square pegs, with no imagination….Dumbshley is fuggley when she opens her mouth it looks like a cow’s as___hole, and then the p__s starts flowing and drowning her face.

    For as long as one party is deeply in love with the other they can’t have a friendship, nor can Dumbshley force someone to love her if they don’t….This stooopid girl should have gone to 5 weeks of therapy instead of taking her a_s to Mexico….A drunk is a drunk and they will follow alcohol no matter where it leads them….Jared is nice to her out of pity, and she wants people to pity her, dumb LOSER.

    Not sure why they bring bleached twins on the show, they would do much better at traveling circus than this show…bah..get rid of these two plastic dummies.
    Go Evan go!!
    Nick poking the bear worked like a charm.

  6. maddie17

    August 30, 2016 at 2:22 PM

    As someone whose had my fair share of relationship woes (read: obsessions), I can look back and appreciate the men who were honest and upfront about how they felt about me. It would hurt to know that they couldn’t picture me romantically, but it hurt less than the several times I was strung along by emotionally unavailable men. Yes I take full responsibility for knowing that something wasn’t right, but I was not strong enough to walk away because I wanted it to work out so badly. With that said, it’s time for Jared to man up.

    I liked Ashley on The Bachelor even with all her craziness, but BIP is another story. If at this point Jared said he wanted to be with her, would it even feel special? Knowing that you had to beg a guy to be with you, what does that tell you about your worth? I admire Caila for being so restrained last night, I might have lost it on Ashley who you can clearly see manipulating Caila and enjoying every bit of it. Even if Ashley is saying that we didn’t see everything as a way of trying to defend her behaviour, you get to a point in your life where you want to be with someone who wants you as much as you want them. That knowing should be enough to stop being cruel and truly being happy for your “friend” Jared if he’s found this with someone else (I’ve never been a fan of being friends with an ex since it can be complicated, but to each his own). And KNOWING that your turn is coming; you should become love, so you can attract love. Mean-girling Caila will not get her closer to her goal.

    As for Josh and Amanda, it doesn’t matter how many people tell her he’s not right (not saying he’s not), if she wants to be with him, she’ll be with him.

  7. thedoctor

    August 30, 2016 at 5:44 PM

    This show is making no f-inf sense. Ant others have stated so fake and producer driven. The twins do all they can to stay even given the Canadian guy a really lame kiss and now a couple days later decide to leave. Why?

    Time to revamp this train wreck. More drunkedness, more nudity, more hookups.

  8. cjscjs711

    August 30, 2016 at 6:17 PM

    Josh really should have read Andi’s book. I’m sure she could have said a lot more about him (negatively) than she did. It was about her experience going through a very public breakup (that the public seemed to feel entitled to an explanation about). They broke up, there was a reason why, or reasons – of course there’s going to be some negative experiences. Who breaks up because there were too many positive experiences.

  9. angelamarie32

    August 30, 2016 at 8:31 PM

    Really???? Nick is the next Bachelor?! Kill me now!

  10. thedoctor

    August 30, 2016 at 8:48 PM

    So looks like the whole season of BIP was set up to lead to Nick being the Bach, NO wonder the season sucked so much.

  11. yoyotono

    August 30, 2016 at 9:41 PM

    I’m super surprised Nick is the Bachelor. I would have been fine with either Nick or Luke

  12. rob22

    August 31, 2016 at 7:14 AM

    I think it’s as simple as the fact that Luke wasn’t up to the Bachelor standards. He’d be another Chris. Boring. With Nick, he’s well known and definitely not boring. To some, he’s a redemption story. To others he’s a self centered player and a bad guy. Either way, that’s good for ratings. RS always says it’s about the story lines and the women, and he’s largely right. But if the show thinks they can squeeze another 100-200K+ viewers out of a better Bachelor choice, that’s what they’ll do. Certainly the choice of Nick has already gained way more attention on Social Media than Luke would have. Controversy = Retweets, Shares & Interest.

  13. rob22

    August 31, 2016 at 7:20 AM

    In some ways picking Nick is not unlike the last minute choice of JoJo. The usual choice would have been Caila because of the difficulties with trying to make the F2 credible (bye Ben, hello Bachelorette) and timing…. but Caila is kinda boring. So the show decided to juice it up, deal with the extra complexities and pick JoJo. I think that was the right pick, although the season was still a bit of a dud. You have to say that Caila would have been deadly boring & certainly wouldn’t have helped at all.

    The show is definitely opening up to more bolder choices for the leads rather than choosing between last year’s F3 & F4 for the role. At this point they haven’t gone outside the show for a lead in a long time. But, who knows? That’s a good thing, I think. Sticking to a dull formula stubbornly is a recipe for ratings decline and failure. Maybe the show finally realizes that they have to spruce things up.

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