Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” & My Thoughts on Nick as the “Bachelor”

Hi Steve,

I have been reading your site for a while now and love your spoilers and commentary. I still DVR all 3 shows but I end up fast forwarding through most of the Bachelor and Bachelorette. I just can’t hardly tolerate it anymore and probably wouldn’t watch at all if it wasn’t for your spoilers. Bachelor in Paradise I actually enjoy because I find it highly entertaining, especially this season with Daniel.

I don’t really have a question more so just a few comments and observations. I bought Andi’s book out of curiosity more than anything else and I have to say it is some of the worst writing I have ever read. It is chapter after chapter of a pity party. It is like she is expecting sympathy from her readers when she made the choice to go on tv and do this whole thing in the public eye. The way she goes on about this break up is nauseating. You would think they had been together for years the way she claims to be handling it rather than months. She also seems to be writing it as if it is supposed to be some sort of self-help book for women going through a break up. If I ever was looking for help getting through a rough break up the last person I would go to is Andi Dorfman. All I really want to say is get over yourself already. There are people out there dealing with much more serious things than her failed 9 month engagement to a guy she knew for maybe a year total and got engaged to after only spending a total of a few weeks together. If she is looking for sympathy from her readers she really missed the mark, at least with me. I am sure there are some people out there who believe her drivel. I haven’t finished the book yet, which I will do just because I paid money for it but it is painful. I liked Courtney’s book much better.

As far as Josh goes, the guy is an idiot. I am sure a lot of it is editing but my goodness how can any woman with half a brain not realize there is nothing beyond his outer shell. I am disgusted just by watching him and if I have to see him tongue Amanda when he is kissing her again I will probably gouge my eyes out. I personally don’t find him that attractive either and I think that has a lot to do with his personality or lack thereof. If he is trying to repair his image he is doing a piss poor job of it. He is just such a D-bag I don’t think there is much hope there. I think the real reason he and Andi didn’t make it is because they are both such narcissists. She wanted it to be all about her and he wanted it to be all about him and that usually doesn’t bode well for a relationship. He wants his women to be his women and not his equal. He wants someone he can put in their place and make sure they stay there. I hope Amanda grows a backbone sometime soon and boots him. I certainly hope she does because if she doesn’t her daughters will be raised to believe that is how a woman should be treated by a man. Who knows, maybe that is all she knows and doesn’t realize that there are men out there who know how to treat a woman.

Sorry for going on and on but I just had to throw my two cents in there since that is about all my opinions are worth anyway. J

Take care and keep up the spoiling. You are my guilty pleasure.

Comment: I can’t say there are many people that would disagree with anything you wrote.

Hi Steve,

I met you in Westchester with your family for Andi Doorman’s final season when you did a get together in Mt. Kisco.

Please keep up your excellent spoiling and answering people questions as well as Dr. Reality Steve. I enjoy when you include a little bit about your life in your blogs. Congratulations on being nominated for an award!

Why do the contestants feel it’s so important to stay on BIP? If they didn’t make a love connection I would think the contestants would want to leave the show. The contestants seem heartbroken if they aren’t picked at rose ceremonies. Why don’t all of the contestants show up all at once for the show instead of cycling in new people each episode?

Comment: They want to stay on because it increases their social media popularity. The more people see you, the more they talk about you, the more you become “popular” within this franchise. As for shuffling people in, that’s just the format of the show. That’d be like asking, “Why does the Bachelor eliminate people every week? Why can’t every girl stay until the very end and then he just makes his choice?” Well, I guess technically they could, but that’s not the format they’ve chosen for the show. BIP is obviously a little more light hearted and fun, and I think they know they can create drama and love triangles by continuously bringing new people in every episode.


I don’t know how to contact the page where you answer readers Q’s, so I’ll try it this way.

I liked Nick’s interview and he seemed very sane and together more so than any other former from all three shows that I have seen. I think you did not take into account his personality when you say that contestants are being manipulated. Nick is talking about his own experience and I think, they were never able to manipulate him because he is so grounded as is evident in the interviews. I agree about the voiceovers and frankenbites though, do you remember if they used them on him with Andi and Kaitlyn? Every contestant in every season was guilty of frankenbiting at some point. But frankenbiting can be used on any sentence. Doesn’t necessarily mean it was used to construct a negative sentence at all. But it’s a very easy editing tool to create a story that isn’t there.

It also looks like he talks kindly about the show because they might have asked him if he was interested in being the bachelor. A way more interesting choice than Luke/Chase. He’s portrayed on BIP as the nice guy who consults and consoles the girls. They didn’t have to show that……….

All the best, keep up the good work but don’t believe everything you think!

Comment: Well, this email was sent last week. This person maybe was on to something. I just never looked at it that way because, well, why would I? The choice of Nick surprised everyone. They’d never reached that far back for a contestant from a past season outside of Brad 2.0, so I had no reason to think they would this time. Especially when they made it known Luke and Chase were in the running.


With respect to the Josh & Amanda US Weekly cover and why they get to be so public, I think it has to do with the nature of the two shows. The answered question at the end of BIP is much less salacious than the end of Bachelor/Bachelorette. Whether two people who you’ve watched be together all season end up staying together (i.e. BIP) is less tantalizing than the question of “Who will they choose??” (i.e. Bachelor/Bachelorette). I think BIP is much more about the journey than the Bachelor, which is more about the ending. So yeah, BIP is a more casual/fun show, but I also think the fact that there isn’t as much of a big reveal at the end of BIP is why couples get to be public before the finale airs. Just wanted to share my thoughts.


Comment: I agree to a certain extent. It’s definitely more of a fun show that isn’t taken nearly as serious. But with that said, this is the first season where anything has been blatantly spoiled post show by magazines/tabloids, and there’s no backlash for it. We’re seeing a lot of firsts in this franchise recently.

This is a sure winner!! A reality show starring Ryan Lochte and Daniel from the Bachelorette!! Can you imagine the ” conversations ” we’d be privy to??? Just asking them what time it is may begin an entire 2 hour treatise!!! I’d love to see them together, perhaps on Bachelor in Paradise ” after show “. It could only help that albatross!! Anyway, love your work, keep it up

Comment: God help us all. We’d all be dumber for it.

Hi Steve!

I love your site. I just noticed that the title of Ben and Lauren’s Freeform show seems to now include a question mark (Ben and Lauren: Happily Ever After?) which I don’t remember seeing when it was originally announced.. any idea if they’re still together or why this might be the case?


Comment: Yes, they’re still together. Here’s something that everyone should think about before questioning whether a final couple from the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette” is still together: Did People magazine report they were broken up. No couple from the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette” will ever privately break up. Ever. Ever. Ever. It will be a story on every entertainment site, the couple will release a statement, and unless you don’t have access to the internet, there’s no way even a casual fan wouldn’t know. They basically HAVE to make an announcement when they break up due to the popularity of the show, then every outlet will run with it. So yeah, you’ll know if/when Ben and Lauren break up. And every other final couple from those two shows. Paradise? Different story. I mean, there will still be coverage if any of the 3 engaged couples break up, but I could see people missing that.

Hey Steve,

Love your website. I wish I could help you do sleuthing!

Anyway, I wanted to throw some ideas out there which I’m sure will give you a laugh, but is it possible that the three BIP couples are legit at all? My reasons for thinking it’s at least possible are below:

Josh and Amanda: Overbearing macho dude meets soft spoken totally passive mother of two cute daughters to play hero to. He seems rich, she seems like Cinderella. Maybe it’s a match made in heaven because she could actually get along with him? (Unlike Andi, who would demand to be treated as an equal)

Carly and Evan are both super weird and seem like they have a lot in common… some couples get a weird start. This relationship actually seems real to me.

Grant and Lace are both totally insane and clinging and psycho…. obviously they are doomed and their longterm potential is probably a drama filled breakup/makeup cycle that will make all their friends hate them, but I also think this is legit.


Comment: I don’t think any are legit. Doesn’t mean though that these people aren’t vain enough to go through with a marriage, at least in the short term, to benefit financially.

I know it’s on your radar already, but I just wanted to voice my support for a podcast! I listen to a lot of podcasts on the way to work, at work, and on the way home, and it’s a lot easier than watching the video. To be honest, I never watch them because it’s kind of a hassle, but I have no doubt I would enjoy what you have to say if it was presented in a medium that’s a bit more accessible. Keep up the great work! Except all the Tomi Lahren appearances, I choose to assume you aren’t a close minded racist like she 🙂

Comment: Podcasts will be coming in January of 2017. It’s just a matter of how I’m going to structure them. That’s what I need to figure out. How many times a week? How long? Do I do interviews? Do I read emails? A lot of stuff to think about because I want to make it a good podcast and not just me rambling.

Hi Steve,

First wanted to say that I think experimenting with a podcast is such a great idea! I heard you on “Here to Make Friends” and thought you were great. Had a few questions:

1. Is it difficult to cast BIP? It seems like there’s a lot more unmemorable people (Brett, Carl, etc) on BIP this season than before. Actually, every season of BIP always has a few characters that you’re like “Who?” Go back and look on the previous two seasons. You’ll see.

2. I know that the producers won’t change the formula for The Bachelor/Bachelorette unless ratings are terrible. But, if you were a producer of the show, what changes would you make to the show to make it fresher? Maybe just stop taking itself so seriously. That’s about it.

3. Have any contestants had trouble finding jobs after being on the show? With the internet, it seems like a bad edit can have big long term consequences. Plenty.

4. Finally, I know this is a loaded question, and you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to. On “Here to Make Friends” and Sharleen’s column, there was concern that the comments that Ashley I and Michelle Colins have made about Caila had some racist undertones. Do you think that’s the case?

Comment: I didn’t see it as racist at all, but I could see where some might’ve taken it that way.

Hey Steve,

Big fan of your site, thanks for making the shows more interesting to watch. I was wondering if you’ve ever talked about the possibility of Ashley I being chosen to be the bachelorette? I know people may think she’s annoying with the constant crying, but I feel for her. I’ve been in the friend zone and remember the heart break. Ashley seems to wear her heart on her sleeve and deserves a chance for a love of her own. Do you think the franchise would ever consider giving her a season?

Keep up the great work!

Comment: You know, I wanna say “not a chance in hell,” but after what they pulled with Nick, it seems like anything is possible now in regards to future leads. Do I think Ashley would get cast as the “Bachelorette?” No. But apparently even saying that anymore is a no-no.

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  1. crushonspivey

    August 31, 2016 at 9:18 AM

    If Brad Womack can be the Bachelor 2x, why not Nick? He’ll put on just as good of a show. And t hat is what this is all about. But I do hope they cut down on teh fake BS a bit sooner and get down to the real relationships and legit stress and drama by the time they get to the final 8 girls. I always hate the early episodes because of the fakeness.

    BiP is a clown show. But the winners were clearly Nick, Daniel and literally no one else. Grant/Lace are huge losers, so are Josh/Amanda, and Evan/Carly is laugh out loud ridiculous. THey need to revise this show for next summer.

  2. jlal

    August 31, 2016 at 9:45 AM

    Have never been a fan of Nicks. His average looks and slushy way of talking just don’t appeal to me. However, I did wonder if he was going to be the next bachelor, due to the way they were promoting him this season. I love Carly and Evan and think they are for real and have a chance. At least more than they others, which i realize is not saying much.
    As for Ashley I. Good Lord the girl needs therapy. Unless she is just acting and playing a part. Don’t know why she would, since it makes her look like a fatal attraction girl. Can you imagine how crazy she’ll be over a guy that she actually goes to bed with. Scary!

  3. jlal

    August 31, 2016 at 9:52 AM

    Steve don’t get so defensive about not knowing it was Nick. You don’t have to keep repeating how you get the spoilers right. We know. Also, no one expects you to be right 100% of the time. And, if some do screw’em it is not reasonable. Your fans understand. Also, they made a reference to “spoilers” or something like that on the show after announcing Nick. Did you or anyone else catch it? I miss it, but am sure it was referring to you.

  4. hayleyyy

    August 31, 2016 at 10:06 AM

    What did Caila do off camera that Ashley keeps eluding to (ITMs, After Paradise, Twitter) as well as some of the other cast? I don’t understand why they can’t just come right out and say it?

    I don’t care for Caila much, but is it sooo evil that she didn’t initially think she’d be into Jared? How come Carly gets to be repulsed by Evan and straight up insult him, but get a free pass on that? Or Jared – didn’t he go on the show for Britt and vote for her as well? People can fall for someone after they get to know them. Doesn’t make them fake!

  5. rob22

    August 31, 2016 at 10:59 AM

    It was kind of funny because during the last show I was noticing how bad of an edit Josh got and simultaneously noting that Nick was getting a really good edit. Buddies with everyone. Confidant to some of the women. He was the guy stepping up to call out the evil Josh, who got the villain edit. I thought for a second, you know, he might be a good Bachelor. Then I thought, no, they won’t go back to a retread like Nick and besides, he has the taint of BIP all over him. But there it is. I think it’s a pretty good call. The news is going viral already. The show is already getting what they hoped for.

  6. vessel

    August 31, 2016 at 11:59 AM

    Loved that Nick is the Bachelor and that the franchise managed to surprise us.

    Obviously he’s slept with Andi, Kaitlyn, and Jen. Anyone know the other two Steve included in his “5 so far”?

  7. rob22

    August 31, 2016 at 12:15 PM

    Another funny thing is that Nick was the villain of his first go round during Andi’s season. Remember he was kind of the sleezy guy who was getting in between Josh & Andi’s true love. (what an edit in retrospect) He then called out Andi on ATFR for having sex with him right in front of Josh. And then Andi reported that Nick was, I forget the word, but it was something like “cringe worthy” in bed. And he wasn’t exactly the hero in Kaitlyn’s season either with his awkward faceoff with Alf for several weeks. Now, he’s the good guy and Josh is the douche. And Alf, who knows. I’m sure people who follow him on Social Media know, but he’s really yesterday’s news. Only on The Bachelor and WWE could this happen.

  8. hales

    August 31, 2016 at 2:16 PM

    For everyone wondering what Caila did off camera that was such a big deal, Ashley just discussed it on her FabFitFun snapchat recap. To sum it up, before a rose ceremony when the men and women are separated, Caila apparently told Amanda that she wasn’t 100% into Jared but she would have no problem getting engaged at the end and just breaking it off 3 months later. Amanda told the other women of course which is why the house was against her.

  9. hayleyyy

    August 31, 2016 at 2:26 PM

    That’s why they hate Caila?? Lol but it’s pretty much open knowledge that everyone goes on the show for reasons other than love! And so what if she’s not 100% into him? Nick isn’t 100% into Jen, but nobody is giving him a hard time about it. Funny that she’s being called fake when she’s actually being real by admitting those things. And I have yet to see her lead Jared on by telling him she likes him sooo much or that she’s falling for him. If anything he seems very aware that she’s holding back and unsure. No hoodwinking him and being fake…

  10. paradi

    August 31, 2016 at 2:31 PM

    I don’t think you should be embarrassed about not knowing who the bachelor was going to be. But maybe a smidge for telling people who guessed correctly that they were 100% wrong.

    Other people did spot the Nick trend early. Just look to some of the Bachelor boards. Producers were saying “software salesman” at casting at least as early as June. That just isn’t how you would cast girls for Luke.

  11. starryeyed

    August 31, 2016 at 2:33 PM

    Hi, I’m new here. I’m really excited for Nick to be the new bachelor. I’ve only seen him in Katlyn’s season and felt bad for him when he got dumped. Think he’s really handsome and funny. I prefer him over the chunky ham, Josh.

  12. adrie

    August 31, 2016 at 3:09 PM

    Wow Nick! I’m actually really surprised they picked him. He’s been in three Bachelor related seasons and to run with him as a lead surprises me. I would’ve been happy with Luke but bring on Nick’s season. I think because viewers have seen how easily Nick falls in “love” the producers will have a hard time making his season believable…

  13. elizabeth82

    August 31, 2016 at 3:09 PM

    I wasn’t interested in reading Andi’s book before this season of “BiP” but now I want to. But I really don’t want to pay for it 😛

    I wanted Luke for Bachelor, but Nick’s good TV and not so unlikeable anymore, so I’m fine with it. Really wasn’t expecting it! And they spoiled their own show by announcing him before the resolution of his relationship with Jen, which was a weird move.

  14. marwe

    August 31, 2016 at 6:47 PM

    What’s the background story of Amanda. When did she get married?, why the divorce?, what job does she have to support her two children?

  15. texas09

    August 31, 2016 at 7:00 PM

    Just like the reader who commented that she is 35 has a child and decided this is the year to hang up her hat – that could have been me except 32 and 2 kids. This was the year I was going to stop watching because I had zero interest in watching Luke (or Chase). I have stopped once before for Ben Flajnik’s season but they drew me back in. I almost stopped watching at Kaitlin’s season until Steve spoiled it that Nick was back. I have to agree with Steve, I’m surprisingly excited to see what next season holds!

  16. adrie

    September 1, 2016 at 1:22 AM

    Btw does anyone else think Josh Murray is very annoyed/jealous Nick got the gig?

  17. rob22

    September 1, 2016 at 7:28 AM

    @adrie: Josh has the double whammy of getting the villain edit, and coming off as a very angry, abusive and scary person. His BIP appearance not only didn’t counter Andi’s book, as he had hoped, but confirmed everything Andi said. Then his nemesis from Andi’s season and this year’s BIP comes across as the hero and is named The Bachelor. On top of that, Josh had campaigned to become The Bachelor, I think, last season and was turned down. Yeah, the last few months have not been good to Josh. So, Nick being named The Bachelor has to be a real kick in the groin to him. Josh is certainly not the type of guy who’s going to just let this roll of his back. It’s bothering the hell out of him.

  18. TeresaRenee

    September 1, 2016 at 8:55 AM

    The way Josh reacted to Amanda going to bed without him was a huge red flag. That alone should concern Amanda. This is not the man you want as a dad for your daughters.

  19. vessel

    September 1, 2016 at 9:18 AM

    @elizabeth 82 I took Andi’s book out of my local library. No need to buy it!

  20. RaRa

    September 1, 2016 at 11:30 AM

    Who are the other two women (Steve said five so far that he knows of) Nick has slept with? I only know of Andi, Kaitlyn, and Jen. Were they “reunion” hookups with Bach franchise alumni? I don’t know how to go back through all Steve’s articles and try to find everything he has said about Nick outside of the show.

  21. elizabeth82

    September 1, 2016 at 4:58 PM

    @vessel, I’m actually a librarian, but we don’t own it and it’s too new to borrow from the couple other owning libraries in our consortium. :p I had bought Courtney’s book and added it to the library’s collection afterward. I could add Andi’s book to our nonfiction cart, but we have a small budget and not sure how many other Bach fans there are in town.

    Thanks for supporting your local library, btw! <3

  22. hurricaneemily

    September 2, 2016 at 3:27 AM

    Hey, Steve.

    I’m glad the ads aren’t bogging down your site anymore. I can finally read your posts again. I wasn’t completely surprised that Nick was chosen. I thought I was going crazy because it seemed like he was getting a Bachelor audition edit but it was BIP. I guess I wasn’t.

    You can read my thoughts on Nick being chosen as the Bachelor here:

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