Reality Steve

Floribama Shore

  • Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 8 Recap

    Photo Credit: MTV

    A few of the men I’ve dated have had some flaws. One had severe commitment issues. One’s favorite hobby was telling me complicated lies. One thought it would be totally normal if we eventually had separate bedrooms. And one was a clinical narcissist who should really be studied by a team of very brave experts who do not scare easy. But not one of them ever grabbed a phone out of my hands when a male friend called and blubbered, “Who is this?” in a manner that required both subtitles and a straightjacket.

    Listen: I get that they’re young and navigating life as best as they can, but I have no earthly idea what either Candace and Kortni are doing by continuing to entertain relationships with men who are clearly abusive. And not only are GatorJay and Logan fueled by rage that they then level at women they claim to love, but they are exhibiting this psychotic behavior during what is supposed to be the honeymoon phase. In … Continue reading

  • Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 7 Recap

    Photo Credit: MTV

    Remember that episode of Friends when Phoebe changed her name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock? Well you guys, sometimes-fictional stories morph scarily into real life. That’s right – it’s time to meet GatorJay231SouthsideGawd! To be clear, this is a name a grown man chose for himself.

    The last episode ended with Candace storming down the stairs to confront the guys who said they have no intention of addressing someone with a ridiculous fake name, a pronouncement that caused Candace – who apparently happily calls him by this idiotic name – to explode. We begin with her fury still ignited, but it abates slightly when Gus explains his issue is with the “Gawd” part of his name. It doesn’t matter if there’s a bullsh*t “W” shoved into the word; Gus is not about to call any mortal man a God. Candace accepts this and says they can all just call him Gator and everything seems like it will be okay for a second, but then Candace tells them … Continue reading

  • Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 6 Recap

    Photo Credit: MTV

    Full disclosure: I do not follow the reality show people I write about on social media. (Well, there is one. I’m Twitter buds with Ariana from Vanderpump Rules, but that’s because 1) She followed me first and 2) I’m pretty sure she’s f*cking normal.) But the rest of them? Nope. It’s nothing personal, but I figure my job is to write exclusively about the lives they so willingly portray on these shows and I see no need to cloud my recaps with outside stuff. And it is because of this intentional blissful ignorance of mine that I had no idea how correct my first impressions have been of Logan, Kortni’s terrifying boyfriend. Last week I mentioned the way the guy causes my insides to freeze. Then I searched online for a picture of him to accompany the post on my site and it turned out that Googling “Logan Floribama Shore” led me to all sorts of scary articles you can check out yourself if you’re interested in what … Continue reading

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