Reality Steve

Floribama Shore

  • Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 4 Recap


    The family that brawls together stays together. Yes, I’m quite certain I heard a holy man whisper those words once. (Full disclosure: it’s a definite possibility I hallucinated that it was a holy man speaking when actually it was a Real Housewife from New Jersey.) But whoever it was who uttered that plastic philosophy, one thing I know is it’s now fully applicable to the world of our Floribama Shore friends who have bonded like Super Glue after collectively throwing punches outside a bar to protect whatever is left of Nilsa’s honor. Kortni and Aimee swung their fists. Gus tried to block even more violence from going down. Kirk, Codi, and Candace barged right into the thick of it. Jeremiah watched the proceedings from a safe distance so he wouldn’t harm his dabbing arm. And Nilsa? She was stunned that strangers got in her face for seemingly no reason whatsoever. But what nobody here is saying is there is a reason random people approached and then provoked her. … Continue reading

  • Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 3 Recap

    Photo Credit: MTV

    The news that broke this week was staggering. And no, I’m not talking about how we learned Matt Lauer’s desk at NBC was outfitted with a nifty little locking device so just a mere flick of his wrist was all that was needed to keep young women from fleeing out the door and away from what should have been a safe work environment. I’m also not talking about how the President tweeted some hideously racist videos that earned him the immediate praise of David Duke. All of that was surprising – well, sort of – but the really stunning news came from MTV when they revealed the original stars of Jersey Shore would soon be crawling back to our airwaves in a brand new series wherein they’ll once again reside inside of a house together…only this time, THEY ARE BRINGING THEIR CHILDREN.

    Upon hearing this announcement, I instantly had two thoughts:

    1. As children are not capable of offering anything resembling consent when it comes to agreeing … Continue reading

  • Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episodes 1 & 2 Recap

    Photo Credit: MTV

    There are a few television shows I’ve never seen and I have pretty decent reasons for missing them. After all, I have important things to do in my life, like go to work or giggle at people heaving Keurig machines off balconies; I don’t have time to watch everything. But when I realize I’ve skipped a show that made an indelible mark on the cultural landscape – whether that mark was positive or positively tragic – I can’t help but feel left out. That’s how I felt back in the day when I was the only person on the planet who never watched Jersey Shore. That’s right…I have never seen a full episode of Jersey Shore. I turned it on once and saw a girl who looked weirdly like a foot get punched in the face by some guy in a bar and the visual was so staggeringly unpleasant that I never tuned back in. But even though I didn’t watch the show, I do still live in … Continue reading

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