I can be a creature of habit sometimes. Ok, a lot of the time. But I do like when I branch out and do things and think “Why don’t I do that more?” Lets just say I’m so glad I talked to Jason & Cortney Carrion from the first season of “Married at First Sight” for this week’s podcast. How can you not like these two? And you know me, I’m about as skeptical as anyone when it comes to reality TV show relationships. If I find it ridiculous that the “Bachelor” is marrying someone that they’ve spent maybe 3 days with total at the end of 8 weeks of filming, obviously marrying someone at first sight seems preposterous. And it is. But somehow these two have made it work (along with 2 other couples in their 6 completed seasons). I’m fascinated by this whole concept and Jason & Cortney’s story. We cover a lot in here, so even if you never watched a second of the show, I think you’ll find the interview interesting because you are listening to a couple that agreed to get married on TV to someone they’d never met before, yet, are still married to this day 4 years later. I’m kind of in awe. As always, if you want to respond to the interview, please include both their Twitter handles (@Kr0ss and @KortKneee_Rae) in your replies. They are easily my new favorite reality TV couple after this interview (although I don’t think I even had one before them). But whatever. They’re at the top of the list now and I’m rooting for them. Hope you enjoy…
You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts, RSS, Stitcher, Spotify
Music written by Jimmer Podrasky
(B’Jingo Songs/Machia Music/Bug Music BMI)
Cortney Twitter – @KortKneee_Rae
Jason Twitter – @Kr0ss
Cortney Instagram – cortrae
Jason Instagram – bklynbad
(SPOILERS) Jason & Cortney join me to talk about where they were at in life when they decided to do this show, did they know who the other couples were (9:25), what did their parents think of them marrying a stranger (10:56), how detailed the application process was (12:12), did either want to walk out at the last minute (16:20), their first impression of the other one (19:19), what it was like saying vows to someone you had just met (21:36), getting to know each other at the reception (23:44), did they have sex on their wedding night (29:26), their honeymoon in the Poconos (31:06), post honeymoon life & the struggles that occurred (33:11), decision day (40:08), their first year of marriage TV show & how difficult it was (43:27), do they think they would have met if they didn’t do the show (58:30), do they want kids (1:01:59), and we end with basically a Newlywed Game version of the Final 10 (1:03:49).
“Dr. Reality Steve” emails on Page 2…
February 1, 2018 at 7:34 AM
To the couple that doesn’t have time for sex: Unfortunately busy lives don’t have much time for spontaneous sex. It would be great if it did, and if it happens great. As Steve noted, plan a night, get a baby sitter… and for God’s sake don’t try to pull it off on a Friday night when everyone’s exhausted from a long week. Get to bed early on Friday, sleep in Saturday morning (to the extent that you can with kids), plan your Saturday evening for a little earlier than you might normally. Make sure you’re home early enough that neither one of you falls asleep… and don’t over imbibe during the evening. Wow, yeah, that’s a lot of planning! Again, I’m not saying that you can’t have a spontaneous night…. but as you’ve seen, that kind of doesn’t happen. Oh, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with surprising him by dressing sexy for the bedroom part of the evening. A little spice never hurt anyone.
February 1, 2018 at 7:45 AM
To the third emailer: Is it possible that he’s experiencing some sexual dysfunction? It kinda sounds like it. It’s possible for stuff like that to come and go, it’s also possible that it could stay around. It’s a really tough topic to broach, but I think you can if you do it lovingly and with the preface that you’re with him all the way & are willing to be sensitive & work through it with him. No pressure. But he really needs to see a urologist and see what can be done. It could be medical, it could be mental. Usually if it’s mental, though, it doesn’t last forever. But you’re not going to get anywhere until he takes action to address it. With your support and complete understanding, it’s easily solvable most times. If it’s something else, as RS noted, you have to be able to talk about it with him. I think your opening needs to be along the lines of your willingness to work through anything with him, but the one thing you can’t work with is silence. You need to be able to share, trust one another and be willing to work on whatever problem it is together. Set it up like that. See what he says. If he’s not willing to talk about it, tell him you’ll give him a few days to process, but you expect that both of you should be able to talk about it honestly & work through it. In other words, stonewalling will not be an acceptable answer. And look at it this way, if this guy is unable to open up to you and discuss his problems honestly, there are bigger issues there. And if you are able to work through it, what a great start to being open and honest with one another & getting a positive payoff for it.
February 1, 2018 at 8:09 AM
To the second emailer: Yeah, saying “You’re the One” after 4 months…. ehhhhh. It’s a risk, for sure and you kind of put him on the spot…. and he reacted very badly…. and it ended in a fight. If he wasn’t ready to answer the same way as you, then he probably felt he had to explain, and his explanation was terrible. It sounds more like stream of consciousness than any real answer. But remember, you backed him into this corner. You thought that bringing it up, while not necessarily ending up in immediate affirmation, would get you the desired answer (or at least some affirmation) in a couple of weeks. That’s what you said. It would have been better for you to have left it alone and let him work it out. You guys had been dating 4 months, not 4 years. After a certain amount of time, yes, you expect to hear those things. But your expectations were out of line.
So, now that you’re here, what to make of his response? Well, it is very likely that you just bullied him into the response you got. He felt backed into a corner, didn’t want to lose you and so he said what he needed to say. Not the greatest place to be. But again, if you hadn’t backed him into a corner, and were more patient, it could have happened organically. But it wouldn’t have happened in the time frame you were expecting.
I’m not sure how to un-ring this bell, but if I were you, I’d sit down with him & ask for a do over. Tell him you realize that you sprung the “You’re the One” on him & pressured him for a response. I know you don’t think you did, but you kinda did. Tell him, you’d like to take the pressure off and just let things happen naturally. See what he says. Just by saying those things, you may take a lot of pressure off him. I’m saying this for YOUR benefit by the way. Because you do need to step back and see how he reacts this time. His actions, as RS mentioned, are the real test. But if he’s got a lot of emotional pressure to be in a place that he’s not ready for, there’s no way this ends well.
So to answer your question… he MIGHT actually be an emotionally unavailable guy. The best way to find out is to step back, be patient and watch what happens. I think this will be really hard for you. But it’s the only way you’re going to find out what’s really up.
February 1, 2018 at 9:00 AM
Can’t wait to listen. Loved this couple on the show, nice to know they are still together. I watched Season 1 to see Jamie Otis ( Bach contestant). And they’re still together as well, with a child. Wild stuff.
February 1, 2018 at 10:39 AM
Perhaps the difference with relationships lasting is no producer involvement like on the Bachelor shows. Plus, they are not having to pick from a “litter” of contestants! One on one is much better than one vs 25+
February 1, 2018 at 11:19 AM
We had a UK version which aired early in 2017. I don’t know if the American process was the same as the UK one, where experts paired the couples, but from my recollection, not one of the marriages lasted beyond 6 months.
February 1, 2018 at 11:59 AM
This is for the second writer, who jumped the gun and told her boyfriend that he was “the one” after four months. Unfortunately, you can’t take back what you did, but you can certainly refrain from having any future discussions about it. Just sit back and enjoy each other. See what happens. Don’t analyze it. Give your relationship time to unfold and see if he comes to you.
There really isn’t any other way to play this.
February 2, 2018 at 5:04 AM
I just binge watched 4 seasons and only 1 of the couples worked out —-so failed experiment for sure!! But entertaining 😉
February 2, 2018 at 10:53 AM
Your son is 6, which is a great time to have him start sleeping over at his grandparents’ or cousin’s or close friend’s home. If that’s scary, have his friends sleep over first so he (and/or you) gets used to the idea. Use the empty house to your advantage. Another strategy: If either of you wake up in the middle of the night, reach over and start fiddling with the other’s start button(s). Or, if one of you gets up before the other, go take a shower, then drop the towel and slide back into bed.
TL:DR – There are many ways that tiredness and schedule can be overcome when one of you lights the kindling and patiently tends the fire until it starts to burn without help.
Girlfriend of hornless guy:
It’s not you, it’s him. If you ask what’s wrong and he doesn’t provide a helpful answer, start doing what you need to to separate your lives. Maybe it’s another woman, or maybe it’s a porn addiction, or maybe he has some hormone, chemical, or mental health problem, or maybe he can’t overcome the fading of the new relationship sparkle. Whatever it is, if he isn’t doing anything about it and it’s important to you that it get resolved, then it’s time to move on to someone who is a better match for you.
February 2, 2018 at 11:31 AM
@keddo, good stuff. I was going to mention the sleep over at Grandma’s house, but forgot to include it. Your traditional grandparents are really good for this kind of stuff. But if that’s not an option, you can also tradeoff with friends who are (all) in the same boat. They take the kid for a sleepover this Saturday night and you take theirs the next weekend. We made good use of the baby-sitting co-op of friends when our kids were young. It saves a lot of money on baby sitting & gives everyone a turn at a night off. I can only think of one friend that wasn’t down with the idea & she was really weird about letting her kids out of her sight for more than a few minutes. Her loss! Everyone else was thrilled to sign up.
On the other email, I hadn’t thought about porn addictions or maybe even having an affair. I have to admit that the note didn’t have the ring of an affair…. but a porn addiction is a real possibility. Sometimes it makes it so that people literally can no longer have normal sexual relations. So, yeah. But whatever it is, it has to be discussed and she has to be willing to be supportive of anything that comes up…. except for a full on affair, of course. If it’s sexual dysfunction or a porn addiction, it can be fixed if he’s willing. It will just take some time & patience. If it isn’t fixed, however, it sounds like a deal breaker.
February 2, 2018 at 12:44 PM
The guy who doesn’t like sex is either getting it somewhere else, has a medical/psychological issue, or he’s gay. I’d be curious to know how the sex was between them before the big drought.
February 2, 2018 at 12:57 PM
Steve, I’ve never seen the “Married at First Site” show before, but I definitely enjoyed this podcast! It was really interesting to learn about this couple’s experience and to see how they have worked through issues and are still together. They seem like a really cute couple and I’m glad to learn more about them. Thanks for having them! A nice change from your bachelor guests.