Furthermore, I understand that the timeline seems fast and messy. But I urge you to put yourselves in our shoes. Once Katie and I realized there was a romantic connection that we were interested in exploring, we were not starting from scratch; we were building off of the foundation of a close friendship through which, we had already gotten to know each other so well. The speed at which I fell for this incredible, nurturing, and genuinely caring human being was honestly terrifying. I was scared. But every step of the way felt so right.
Ok, I’m putting myself in his shoes like he just asked. Shoes are on. Aaaaannnnnnd, nope. Still feel the same. There was no reason to do a 12 Days of Messy countdown to your relationship and then pile on later that night by posting a TikTok of you giving piggy back rides and kissing. What did that accomplish? It was a really bad look and in poor taste.
One other small part I wanted to point out about the 12 Days of Messy is, yes, we all know what Day 12 ended up being which was the reveal to their relationship, but are we conveniently forgetting that Day 1 was Katie attaching “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” to Blake. Really? Again, was that really necessary? That was 2 WEEKS after you broke off an engagement. While that may be the truth and you guys are never actually going to get back together, why the need to rub salt in the wound with that one, especially knowing what Day 12’s reveal was gonna be? How can people look at that now as being nothing more than petty and a shot at Blake? She’ll say it was all just in fun. And while I agreed AT THE TIME that 12 Days of Messy was silly (something I wrote about), it all changed once we realized what the end result was. Now you go back to Day 1 and are like, “Yeah, that was pretty shitty.” Totally unnecessary knowing the outcome now.
We knew that the only difficult part would be the optics of it all. And that’s a shitty thing- worrying about how a natural and organic connection will be viewed by hundreds of thousands of people… when was the last time you had to think about that when you fell for a partner? Because this is sure as hell the first time for me.
I haven’t. Because I would never think twice about doing that to someone I once cared about 1 month after a broken engagement. And by John allowing her to post it, he’s complicit in it. But I guess that’s where we differ.
To those of you that suggest we should have waited- I understand. I hear you. But try to understand what it’s like for me, a regular guy, falling helplessly for his best friend, not being able to take her out for dinner because photos would likely leak and everybody would assume we were trying to foster some sort of secret and scandalous relationship haha. Our decision to come out publicly was a decision to pursue happiness in the way we wanted. Disagreeing with someone for how they decide to go about it is okay. Everybody is different. I understand.
For the first time in this 8 paragraph essay, he addresses the issue that most people had. And I guess this is where it comes down to we’ll agree to disagree. By this paragraph, and by Katie’s actions, they clearly do not think they did anything wrong whatsoever. They didn’t think it was mean in any way, they didn’t think the timing was wrong, and they didn’t think about anything or anyone else other than “How can this benefit us and let people know we’re dating.” He says he understands why people say they should have waited. But does he? Because this whole 8 paragraph defense makes it seem like he doesn’t.
I think this idea that basically “we HAD to do this because how else was I supposed to date Katie now without pics being taken and speculation happening” is off as well. John and Katie have posted together numerous times in the last six months together. Why not just continue that but act in a platonic way? Just through the end of the year or something. It’s possible to date someone privately, and I think that’s what they’re missing here. There are people in Bachelor Nation, and people much more recognizable than John and Katie in the other reaches of the entertainment world, that were dating for months before it ever became public. John is basically now claiming they HAD to come out now because they would’ve been caught. Well yeah, if you WANTED to be caught you would’ve. If John and Katie go out to dinner in downtown San Diego holding hands and kissing, then yes, of course people would see and it’d probably get reported somewhere. But that’d be their choice to do that. You can’t tell me two people can’t date privately for months before letting masses know. Friends and family? Sure. Tell them, hang out with them, be a couple within your inner circle. But it’s absolutely possible to date someone publicly for a period of time before it gets out.
However, this is where like I said, we’re just going to agree to disagree because John would counter with saying “But she’s my girlfriend and now you’re telling me to hide it from everybody,” hence his “understand what it’s like for me falling for my best friend and not being able to take her out to dinner” line. He doesn’t think there was ANY other way to handle this. I do. And I think plenty others do as well.
Lastly and most importantly, I want to apologize to those of whom have felt emotionally triggered by how our actions have been perceived. It deeply saddens me to think that my and Katie’s relationship could have been a source of anxiety for ANYONE. As I mentioned before, cheating in any form is unacceptable, and I’m sorry if it looked as though either of us were taking advantage of anyone’s trust. I have tried to respond directly to those individuals that were affected, but I know that I don’t have the capability of finding absolutely everyone; so I hope this message finds you well.
The one person in all of this that John should’ve addressed personally was Blake. Not nameless, faceless people on Reddit. This post is so misguided. He’s saying he’s sorry to…who? When this should’ve been addressed to Blake privately, man-to-man. He could’ve been given a heads up on this, he wasn’t, and they clearly don’t think they owed him that or else they would’ve. Again, totally disagree.
I appreciate you all taking time from your day to read this message. It is not meant to be delivered from atop a soapbox; it is an honest conversation from me to you. I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday season, and I can’t wait to be sent more ridiculous SpongeBob memes and “John who?” comments. Keep being real, much love
-John (week 2 guy)
Katie and John are not monsters. They didn’t commit a crime. It’s their life and they can do whatever they want. But they are a public couple in the Bachelor Nation franchise that made a whole spectacle of announcing they were now a couple. So of course I’m going to give my opinion on it. I gave my initial thoughts on it last week when Katie made the reveal, and now with John’s baffling post to a group of fans he shouldn’t give two shits about (that got picked up by every media outlet), I wanted to give my thoughts. Just like I gave my thoughts on the Peter/Hannah/Madi stuff the week before. And the numerous other times I’ve questioned people in this franchise for something they did or said. I don’t hate these two. I wish them all the luck in the world. I’ve even said they are probably better in the long term for each other than Katie and Blake were. And I know they don’t see it the way I and many others do, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t let them know our thoughts. What’s done is done. They can’t go back and change what they did. A calculated, 2 week drawn out process of announcing their new relationship has already happened.
It hurt someone in the process and it was just shocking to me that they never even thought that’d be possible. Maybe they’ll lay low now seeing some of the backlash. Maybe they won’t. As happy and excited as I’m sure they were to announce their new relationship, I just don’t think it was asking too much to think of others before themselves, and that’s what I’ve tried to lay out here the last couple weeks in expressing my thoughts. Maybe they’re too proud and stubborn at this point to ever admit any wrong doing, but I just wonder if either one of them looks back on the last week and thinks deep down, “Yeah, you know what, maybe we shouldn’t have went about it this way.” I’m really curious about that. I wish them the best of luck going forward and, I hope, they don’t give me any other reason to address their actions in the future. Stay out of the limelight, let things die down a bit, and maybe think about how your actions can affect others. One month? Maybe after the new year flaunt your relationship all you want? Seems like a decent timeline. But hey, that’s just what I’d do if I were them.
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