Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” I’m Now On TikTok (@realitysteve20), & Shayne Lamas Part 2 Interview Coming Tomorrow

Photo Credit: ABC

Welp, I did it. I’m on TikTok. Posted my first video last night, which is a breakdown of the next episodes spoilers. Granted, we never know if the episode will end with a rose ceremony, so technically it’s the rose ceremony #2 spoilers. But you get what I mean. My TikTok account is @realitysteve20. Every week I’ll be putting up a new video that gives you the spoiler breakdown for the following weeks episode. It’s all stuff I’ve laid out in my column, podcast, and IG already, but because TikTok is the #1 platform on the internet right now, I’m missing out by not being there. Well, now I am. So follow me there, like, comment, and do whatever the young kids are doing there now. Thank God I have a 17 year old niece who showed me how to do everything since I was clueless. I think I got the hang of it. I might throw in other videos here and there once I get more comfortable with it, but for now, will just be using it to give you a verbal breakdown of the next episodes spoilers. So lets Tok everyone! (Is that what the kids call it?)

Don’t forget, Part 2 of the Shayne Lamas podcast coming tomorrow and it’s a doozy. We dive into everything that’s happened in her life since the show. And to say that’s a lot would be an understatement. Lets not forget this is someone that married a guy in Vegas 8 hrs after meeting him for the first time. And it wasn’t until after they got married did she find out who he was and what he did. Yet, they did make it 11 years and have two kids. Was it all glamorous? Ummmmmm, no. I’ll let her speak on that tomorrow. Stay tuned.

So one thing that you know has changed on the site in the last 8 months or so is how I’m handling show gossip. I laid out some “rules” that I planned to follow when it came to “outing” couples. If two Bachelor Nation contestants are dating and I find out about that, I would report it. Like Becca and Thomas and Noah and Abigail when they started dating post BIP. In situations where a Bachelor Nation person is dating someone NOT in Bachelor Nation, I’ve decided not to do that. Like the Tia relationship. I was told about that back in July before Paradise even aired, but since her boyfriend isn’t part of the franchise, I didn’t report it.

But a new situation has come up that I never really said what I’d do. What if someone from Bachelor Nation is dating someone in the reality TV world, or at least a public figure? Case in point, the story broke yesterday that Blake Horstman is dating Giannina from “Love is Blind.” They just filmed a show for MTV at the end of last year, and obviously connected, since she spent the holidays with him. They never posted any pics together, but they certainly weren’t hiding the fact she was in Denver and at his place. They knew what they were doing. I had actually found out about this a few days after he’d returned from filming, and had reached out and had convos with people about it but still didn’t know if/when I’d report it. Well, now it’s out there so I don’t have to worry. But the other one I keep getting asked on is Hannah Ann Sluss’ new boyfriend. It hasn’t been out there publicly that I’ve seen by any of the entertainment sites, but if you read comment sections on her cocial media channels, people are posting who it is. So do I just tell people? She was clearly with him yesterday in Malibu if you look at her IG stories. Is it a big deal who she’s dating? I don’t even know anymore. But what’s fair game? If he wasn’t a public figure, I wouldn’t report it. But he is. He plays that sport where they hike a ball under their legs then a guy called the quarterback throws it to someone else or hands it off to a guy in the backfield. You know that sport. So I don’t know. I’m sure it’ll be out there soon enough or she’ll actually post with him and show his face. Maybe I’ll just let it play out naturally. Give me your thoughts.


This isn’t a reader email question. I just wanted to know that I truly think Clayton is a genuine guy. I live in Burbank and ran into him on a whim. I looked at him and said you really look like the new bachelor Clayton. He was sitting down and had a mask on so I am not sure how I realized it was him but I had just seen the previews that day so I guess that’s why. He laughed and said well that’s because I am him. I asked him if he is in love and he said he couldn’t say (his producer was with him). I laughed and said ok well I will find out everything from reality Steve anyhow.

He was so nice and unaffected. We even got a pic which I promised not to post until the season started.

I know you get some dirt on these guys from people. I can’t even begin to imagine all the info you get. I messaged him on IG later and sent him the pic and suggestions on cool restaurants around town. He actually messaged right back thanking me and wishing me and my family happy holidays. He was just a normal nice guy. I hope he finds a great woman and they have an incredible life together.
Happy Holidays and thanks for your website! I love spoilers!

Comment: Good to hear. I haven’t heard much about the guy so far so that’s one of the first stories. Glad you had a good experience with him.

(1) chances of Brandon being on BIP (assuming they do a BIP this year)? My prediction: he’ll be on it and end up in one of the more serious and high-profile couples on it (be it with someone popular from a previous season or with some or who will be a major player in Clayton’s season) just because how quickly and how hard he seemingly fell for Michelle. He’ll 100% be there as long as he’s single.

(2) do they not do sound testing of the final rose/proposal location? I don’t know if it was just my TV or maybe it’s me, but I could barely hear anything Michelle and Brandon/Nayte were saying over the sound of the waves! That was quite bizarre. The only other time I remember sound being an issue at the final rose ceremony was Rachel and Bryan’s because it was so windy.

(3) do/does the host/hosts (in the past Chris Harrison; Tayshia/Kaitlyn in recent seasons) know who the lead is going to choose when they welcome the last 2 at the proposal location? Tayshia had a huge smile on her face when Brandon arrived. If I were him it would have made me think for sure I was the winner.

Comment: Yes, they know. Because they know who’s showing up first and that person is the one that didn’t win.

Hi Steve,

I’m one of your loyal followers for the column, podcast, and social media. Can’t say I’ll be following TikTok, but great idea to do it.

I really enjoyed the last podcast with Stephen. I think one of the biggest reasons I like following you is that I am the same exact way where I enjoy Bachelor spoilers/learning the behind the scenes of the show, but I would never want to be spoiled for Survivor. Completely agree that it was a surprise Xander received 0 votes.

A few questions I thought of as I was listening to the podcast:

1) Do you think that the million dollar prize is as prestigious anymore? Obviously it’s diminished in value after 20+ years of the show. Should the show increase the value? I’ve noticed that The Challenge has increased its prize over the years. Curious what Stephen would think about this as well. I mean, no one’s gonna turn down a million dollars for sure. But when 20 years ago your prize was a million and it’s still the same today, when you factor in inflation, no it’s not as big of a deal anymore. Outside of Tony’s 2nd win where he got $2 million, it’s $1 million every season and it just doesn’t have the same effect.

2) It was interesting to think about the jury votes over the years. I recently started watching some of the Ponderosa videos (highly entertaining!), but I don’t know much about Ponderosa before the last few seasons. Was this a part of the show from the beginning? I’m wondering because it seems that at Ponderosa all of the jury gets really close so if this is a more recent thing, perhaps that’s why the votes are so unanimous now. From the beginning? No. All I know is Eliza Orlins (former podcast guest), was the first Ponderosa contestant on her first season. I forget which one that was, but that’s when it started.

3) My friends and I started doing a Survivor fantasy league this year through Would you ever want to join our league?!

Comment: Can’t say I’m big on fantasy leagues outside of the one I do with buddies for football every year since about 2005 or so.

Hi Steve! Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas! I started listening to your Survivor podcast but still have more to go, so it’s possible you and Stephen mentioned this idea already…I wish Survivor would have an all female cast and an all male cast one year. They’ve never done that before & it could be really fun to see how it plays out! Happy holidays!

Comment: They had men vs women one time. I believe that was Survivor: Amazon. But with CBS new policy about diversity casting, it’s not gonna happen.


I just read all the reader emails after the final rose episode. I was surprised no one mentioned anything about Brandon and Michelle’s conversation. I felt like he was cut off by Kaitlyn because he had a lot on his mind. She cut him off and said “How nice or that was nice” and I felt he wasn’t done talking and they went to commercial break. I felt it was so awkward and Michelle didn’t even get a chance to respond to his thoughts.

Your thoughts?

Comment: I don’t remember that specifically, but, I will say that those live shows are definitely on a time crunch. Each segment can only last a certain amount of time and it’s possible Kaitlyn was getting told in her ear that she needed to end the segment. That happens a lot on live TV and radio.

Hello Steve,

I have been a long time listener to your podcast over the years. During the most recent Game of Roses recap, Bachelor Clues made reference to how Nayte proposed with the ring that Michelle had pre-selected. Do you know, or have you ever heard from past seasons, does the Bachelorette get to view/try on the rings so Neil with have an idea of which style of ring the lead prefers?

Thanks for all you do & share with your listeners!

Comment: The women talk to Neil and give them an idea of what type of rings they like, and Neil picks which ones to give to the guys. And pretty much leads them in the direction of what the leads like.

Hi Steve,

A few questions for you about Bachelorette finale:

Where was Joe??? Was he there and didn’t get to come out? I assumed he would get his time with Michelle. He wasn’t. Guess they didn’t feel like hearing from him was that important.

Do you think final couples will assume they’ll be getting a down payment-sized check from the franchise now? Awfully generous of ABC and I’m sure will be helpful to Michelle and Nayte. I doubt that will be the annual gift now. I think that was a one time thing.

If you had to speculate, gun to your head, how long do you think Michelle and Nayte would last?

Thank you!

Comment: It’s impossible for me to predict these types of things. Not to mention whatever I say gets completely blown out of proportion. If I say I don’t think they’ll get married, then it means I’m hating on Michelle. If I say I totally see them getting married, then I’m kissing their ass. I will say about them what I say about every couple. I will begin to take them seriously once they are living together. That’s when it becomes serious. Nayte has said he’s moving to MN and soon. Great. When it happens, then I’ll say they certainly seem serious.

Hi Steve!

Survivor question for you. I just listened to your podcast with Stephen Fishbach (he’s awesome!) and some other interviews with the contestants. Xander mentioned that he didn’t put himself into the fire-making challenge because he had worked so hard to get to the final 4, he didn’t want to risk losing his spot in the finale by taking a chance when he didn’t have to, and would have regretted it if he had done the challenge and lost. But so many podcasters say he should have taken that chance at fire-making so he could add it to his resume for the jury. Why is that such a big deal to have on your resume? That you can make fire better than someone else? Is that so impressive? Or that you took an unnecessary risk when you had a guaranteed spot in the final 3? It would be a ballsy move, but I don’t see how the jury would think it was the smart move. I guess as a hail Mary pass if you thought you were getting zero votes from the jury if you didn’t do something big? If you were in Xander’s position, and were confident (even if oblivious) about your social connections, would you have put yourself in the fire-making challenge? Just curious. I’m still shocked he got zero votes. I guess we were meant to be shocked given the editing job they did this season. Can’t wait for 42!

a Survivor stan

Comment: Yeah, I still don’t know why he got zero votes, but that’s because of the edit we were shown as viewers. Clearly we had no idea the jury didn’t think much of him. And I guess the fire making challenge is a case-by-case basis every season. It won Chris Underwood his season when he beat Rick Devens. Without him pulling that move, no way he wins. But is that the case every season? No, I don’t think so.

Hi Steve! Happy New Year (almost)! I am LOVING your podcast with Shayne!!! I have watched every single season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette (though I must admit I barely watched the past few seasons of Bachelorette but I’m so excited for The Bachelor to start Monday!) The “old” seasons were SO good and I absolutely love hearing the stories from past contestants like Shayne. The little details she, Chelsea, & Courtney have given us in your podcasts make them some of my absolute favorites. The stories Shayne shared about Mike Fleiss had me laughing out loud!!! I can’t wait for part 2! I would love to hear from Tessa or Bevin from Andy’s season one day!! (I hope I am remembering their names correctly…)

Comment: I’m starting to dig on older contestants and see if they’ll come on. You’ll know in the upcoming weeks.

As for Shayne, get ready for tomorrow. Some really good stuff in there.

Hey Steve. I’m from Brazil and love your blog and podcast. I’d like to know if we have any news about season 4 of Temptation Island. By the way, although I like you, our big disagreement would be how we feel about Brenda on Beverly Hills 90210, she’s my favorite TV character of all time. Happy new year, bye.

Comment: It filmed in Sept/Oct of last year. My guess is it’ll start airing soon. Last season started in February I believe. So probably then.

You are absolutely entitled to your opinion on Brenda. No matter how wrong it is.


Hi Steve!

Happy New Year,

Will you be covering or commenting on the new Joe Millionaire reboot? The reason why I am asking, is because this is the first season since Jason’s that I am not going to be tuning into the Bachelor/ette. I have decided, finally, I have had enough of that show. If I learn anything about the show it will be through you and that’s it. This show isn’t what it used to be and I personally can’t stand Clayton and so I thought this would be a good time to bid adieu. I even canceled all recordings on my DVR for everything Bachelor.

I do love your podcast with past contestants and I can’t wait for part two of Shayne Lamas – I didn’t watch her season but she is so fun to listen to!!!
Hope you’ll discuss the Joe reboot!

Comment: I’ll be live tweeting on it tomorrow night. Hopefully there will be more to come.

Hi Steve,

I hope that had a nice break and a happy and healthy holiday season. I’ve been reading your columns for a while now, mostly so I can keep up with my daughter. We’ve watched the seasons together for the last couple of years, especially with pandemic lockdowns. It’s nice father/daughter bonding time.

We do have a couple of questions about the logistics of the cocktail parties. How long does the initial cocktail party last? How much time is he spending with each women (roughly)? My instinct is that the party continues late into the night, considering that the women arrive when it’s dark out. And the length could be made longer if they’re doing the individual interviews at the same time.

Thanks for all that you do.

Comment: Yes, it goes until the morning, hence the reason it’s light out by the time the rose ceremony rolls around. So it’s a good 10 hours or so. And production determines who gets time with the lead. Everything is produced. You can’t just walk up to him on your own and when you feel like. Doesn’t work that way.

Hey Steve,

Long time follower, first time questioner.

Salley said she’d been questioning whether to stay for a couple days, so clearly they would have been prepared to send in an alternate (I’m sure they must have multiple on-scene, yes?)

When do people find out they’re an alternate? If it’s prior to the limo entrances, do you think one of the women knew they were preparing to send her home before she was pulled up from the second string to replace Salley?


Comment: I don’t necessarily think there was an alternate for Salley. We know they bring more people there than actually get cast. And we know this moreso in recent seasons because they’re not releasing all the “possible” candidates a few days before filming begins. There were 33 women they released back on Sept. 25th. Only 30 ended up making it to night 1.

What’s Up RS:

How does the show determine who comes out of the limo first? Do the women draw numbers? It’s done by how production deems necessary. And what you see on TV is never the actual exact order of all 30 contestants.

Just wondering how they determine who goes first.

Does the lead read cue cards when they are speaking to the group & during the rose selection? I have just always wondered how the lead remembers what to say. No. But I’m sure they’ve screwed up before and it was reshot.

Nonrelated Bachelor question- are you watching the The Challenge Allstars on Paramount Plus? If so, what are your thoughts on the people they have picked?

Comment: No. I just haven’t been able to get into All-Stars. The Challenge itself is enough for me.

(1) Not including contestants who go on with the intention of being the villain, when do you think that a regular contestant realizes they are going to be portrayed as the villain? Like does Shanae know she is the villain this season? If so, when did she realize that? Have any of the past villains found out only because they read your spoilers and realized what editing was going to happen to them? I mean, you’d have to ask her that question. I’m not in her brain. But based on what we’ve seen in the previews, if she didn’t realize that’s what she would be this season, then she wasn’t paying attention. Or had never watched the show before. I have no idea how much of a fan she was pre-show.

(2) I’m still confused about the Salley situation. I understand the timeline of her wedding, quarantining, filming, etc. but doesn’t the Bachelor casting start talking to people MONTHS in advance (when she was still engaged)? And when did she apply? If she was getting married (and presumably dating this person for quite some time), when would she have applied and the Bachelor producers start interviewing her? It seems unlikely that in less than a month she would: end an engagement, randomly apply for a show that likely already had a short list of contestants, go through all the rounds of interviews, etc. What I was told was she got pushed through and didn’t apply until her engagement ended. And they rushed her through the process because of the storyline. That’s what I was told. But I wasn’t given any proof or evidence her first contact with the show was after the engagement ended, so I have no idea if that’s true or not.

Lastly, I saw someone post that they thought Salley is perfectly cued up for BIP. Assuming she’s not back with her fiancée then, do you think she’ll be the first BIP contestant to have never even stepped out of the limo (besides Ashley Iaconetti’s sister)?

Comment: Kinda early to tell. I think if she gets invited to WTA, then I’d say yes. But if they don’t let her go there, then I doubt it.

Hey Steve:

I was reading your recap today, and I agree. I couldn’t believe how much time they spent on Salley in ep1. It seemed to me like they really wanted her on the show. The way she came across on camera was sweet, genuine, she’s pretty – so could they have been setting it up so that she could potentially be Bachelorette? or go to paradise? People will at least remember who she was when they didn’t have to show any of that on air. What are your thoughts? Or did you also say in your column that she’s now back with the boyfriend/fiance?

Maybe you won’t want to entertain this with a response, because I know you always say, even if you preface things by saying “I’m only speculating”, people will take what you say as fact and if you’re wrong, they annihilate you — but I’m curious what you thoughts are on the final 3 based on screen time last night. I personally felt like Susie got a good amount of airtime, Rachel a decent amount and Gabby, not as much until the very end when she was questioning if she’d get a rose or not. My gut was leaning towards Rachel winning after the ep. I felt like Susie got a bachelorette edit and as far as Gabby is concerned, I didn’t think they’d let someone who eventually won get one of the last roses of the night the first night — but that’s my amateur guess for ya. I’ll pat myself on the back for nothing if Rachel does end up winning.

Last question, will you be collaborating with Joe Millionaire? I know the show premieres this week – I’m excited!

Comment: I will be live tweeting the show on Thursday in collab with them. Hope to do more this season and maybe get some podcast guests. Would be great to have one or both guys on at some point.

Hi Steve, Happy New Year!

Wanted to share my thoughts on the 1st episode (and end of Michelle’s season) since you’re a little light on emails.

In terms of the actual episode it’s really nothing new and the formula is clearly proven. I thought it was a standard entertaining episode 1. It’s funny how the first impression rose recipient for the Bachelor is rarely at the final 4, and for the Bachelorette’s he’s (I think) almost always in the Final 4 and 50% chance of being the winner (Bachelordata put that stat out there).

I thought Jesse did a great job hosting. He was engaging without making the show all about him. Nothing against Chris as a host (he did a fine job), but I feel like Jesse was more into it and Chris seemed more checked out after so many years of doing it. Which also leads me to Michelle’s season – Kaitlyn did a great job hosting. I think Tayshia was okay, but Kaitlyn is more of a natural. She was great live on the AFTR as well. I’m hoping they keep Jesse for the Bachelor seasons and Kaitlyn for the Bachelorette.

Thanks for everything you do!

Comment: Yes, there isn’t a whole hell of a lot different you can do on the first episode since it’s always followed the same formula. Only thing that was added to this one was the pre-first night Salley storyline. Other than that, the episode followed all the same things we see every episode 1 – intro on the lead, lead arriving at mansion, women’s intro videos, limo entrances, cocktail party, first impression rose, everyone in the room freaking out about the first impression rose, then rose ceremony.

Steve, if Clayton doesn’t choose Susie she will definitely be the next bachelorette, don’t you think?! She looks so much like Hannah Brown and definitely seems like bachelorette material.

Comment: I mean, she’d clearly be in the running if he didn’t pick just because of where we know she finishes somewhere in top 3, and yes, the pageant background, the look, former Tokyo Disney princess – it’s all there.

Hi Sensei Steve –

Which dojo would you join: Myagido, Eagle Fang, or Cobra Kai? I’m in the middle of the season and keep asking myself how a karate school finds it economically rational to operate with 10 students. I think my favorite line was Terry pointing out to Kreese how they had put in so much time and effort in the past to get revenge on a teenager. It’s a no brainer: Eagle Fang. I already have two of the shirts. Terry Silver is the best part of season 4, hands down.

Are you going to watch the new Joe Millionaire? Absolutely. I’ll be live tweeting it this Thursday.

Shayne podcast – I did not see that season but it sounds like Matt was ahead of his time with no real career, trying to make it seem like the relationship was still going to stay in the public eye and look good, and trying to cash in (Spachelor). He must look at the “influencers” today with envy. That “Matt-chula” story was pretty funny. Even more funny he’d think that’d take off or something.

When people ask why Clayton, I think it could be as simple as wanting to go with a white athletic guy who producers liked and felt they could work with and create a positive narrative around.

On the podcast, you mentioned how you could get more out of older contestants who are no longer sucking off the Bachelor teat (my phrase, not yours). Might be fun to get fan suggestions on your platforms. I have 3. Tierra from Sean’s season who was a minor villain, fell down the stairs off camera and has dropped out of sight. Kelsey from Soules’ season who had some kind of episode while on the floor. Finally, Taylor Nolan – it would be really interesting to hear from someone who went from liked to canceled, what impact it had on her personal life and career, how she has worked to get through it, and lessons learned. Tierra I’ve tried on numerous occasions. She’d respond, say yes, then never respond back when formalizing plans. No one’s heard from Kelsey in years. I think she moved out of the country. Taylor has been on quite a few times.

Outside Bachelor Nation, I would love to hear you interview Wes from The Challenge as he was on it in the early simpler days through more recent seasons and worked with and against the legends. It would also be interesting to see if he regrets things said in the early seasons which would not fly today.

Comment: Hopefully I’ll have more Challenge people on in the future. Paulie wants to come on soon, so expect that in the coming weeks.

I know this was two seasons ago but I’m still completely confused how Katie Thurston did a 180 and is now in love with a guy she eliminated pretty much early on for Blake who is not following her and vice versa anymore. Do you know what led to the break up?


Comment: No.

Hi Steve,

I’m curious why the contestants who receive the first impression rose no longer get a guaranteed 1:1 date anymore? In the early seasons, I remember that the first impression rose autmatically led to the first 1:1 date, which raised the stakes for trying to get it. It did? I don’t remember that. Usually it meant you wouldn’t even get a date during the first week because obviously you were safe.

In recent seasons, a first impression rose doesn’t even get you a 1:1 date at all (e.g. Abigail on Matt’s season). Is there an explanation for the switch up? What’s the point of having a first impression rose?

Comment: It’s still very rare to get the first impression rose and then never get a 1-on-1. That’s the exception moreso than the norm.

What happened to hot tub girl (the girl that showed up in a tub and swimsuit)? Did she disappear from the cocktail party? I don’t think I saw her at the rose ceremony.

Comment: She went on IG yesterday and said she didn’t feel any spark with Clayton so she left. Not sure why it was never shown. Probably because she wasn’t relevant to the season and didn’t cause a giant hulabaloo when she left.

Not a bachelor/ette related question, but I just finished that newest season of survivor and loved it! Loved all the new twists and advantages. I wasn’t too happy with the winner, was hoping for Xander. Anyways, was wondering what other game shows you like to watch? I also enjoy watching the Netflix series “the circle”! –

Comment: Masked Singer, Too Hot Too Handle, the Challenge, American Idol, and DWTS. I’ve never seen but 2 episodes of The Circle. Too much reading on screen for me. I thought it’d be a lot different.

Hi Steve–

Do you think they included the Salley stuff just because they need some new twist, or do you think that they had her appear so she could potentially be a candidate for BIP?

Thanks for all you do–it makes the show worth watching!

Comment: I mean, maybe if she’s single in 6 months they’ll bring her down there because she seems to be a whole lot of drama. And of course she was brought on for her story. That was a given.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is RealitySteve, or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.

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