-We begin by Zach in the shower then him FaceTiming his new BFF, Sean Lowe. Zach tells him things are going well, he’s developing connections, and he volunteers to babysit for Sean one day since he seems preoccupied. Ok, I maybe made that part up. When Jesse goes to meet the women in the morning, I noticed the chryon on the screen says “Jesse Palmer, 44, host.” When did this start? Have I missed this the first two weeks? Did Jesse negotiate that into his contract that we need his name, age, and job on screen every time he appears? If so, good for him. Whew. Thank God they added that. For a second there, I forgot who that guy was on our screen and what his job was.
-Kaity gets the 1-on-1 date, but they don’t even give her a daytime portion. They’re just gonna start it at night which is something I can’t really remember happening before unless someone cancelled or got sick. Maybe Zach had the runs that morning so they pushed it to night time, who knows? But this date really exemplified what I was talking about in regards to Kaity and how rare this was. Zach spoke to her briefly on night one and they made out, and he saw her at the group date after party last week where they made out again. Yet, he felt that connected to her to ask her to stay overnight? This has literally happened once before in the history of the show this early in a season, so yes, it’s a big deal. Not to mention, why didn’t he ask Christina to spend the night last week? Or Aly last night? And the tent was already set up before the date even happened, so, he already knew he wanted to regardless of how things were going. Pretty telling.
-So Kaity has this gem, “I’ve never done anything romantic in my life.” Which is kind of amazing, because during her dinner portion with Zach, she mentions her ex that she was on and off with I believe 7 years? 7 years with someone and he never did one thing romantic for you? What are you doing staying with him? When Zach asked her what she’s looking for in a partner/relationship, she said, “I want to just feel safe, someone that won’t run away when things get hard, a good man to treat me right.” Seems straightforward and simple, but geez, you almost feel bad for her at this point. I get that not everyone has been in a great relationship before but that seems pretty awful. If I had the years right, that literally covers her whole 20’s that she was on and off with guy who seems like a giant loser. What a waste. You just watch that date last night, and knowing they spent the night together, and it was really impossible not to like Kaity.
-While they totally ripped off Ross and Rachel’s date from “Friends,” this date was all about the overnight portion, so lets not lose sight of that. Yeah, they were in a museum that had dinosaur fossils and fake jungle animals all to themselves, but knowing the tent and their sleeping arrangements were all set up before the date even took place, this was already a done deal before the date started. I think Zach clearly had an early liking to Kaity, moreso than any other woman because it just makes no sense for her to get this preferential treatment this soon. It’s literally unheard of and something we haven’t seen in almost 15 years on this show. Certainly something you’ll be able to point to at the end of the season, assuming the spoiler is right. I don’t think anyone watching last night didn’t feel there wasn’t a strong connection between them and they were putting on some sort of act.
-Did you realize that this was the 5th Bachelor Bowl we’ve had? I knew there had been a few, including last season with Clayton, but man, I had no idea it was that many. I’m glad they gave us clips throughout history to remind us how many games they’ve had. My favorite part of the football group dates? The fact that rules are thrown out the window, scoring makes zero sense, and what we’re watching on screen has no semblance of what football is like. It’s like if you told 15 third graders to play football with no practice. Just go out there, hike it, and run around like a chicken with its head cut off. Except the chickens might run better formations.
-The game was silly, the fans were provided the ridiculous signs and told to jump up and down and cheer, because lets face it, no one of sound mind and body could actually think that game didn’t look exactly like a pee wee soccer game where 8-10 kids are all bundled around the ball and follow it wherever it goes. This date was all about the after party, as most are, and that’s where we start to see the deterioration of Christina Mandrell. Last week, she got the first 1-on-1 of the season. This week, she can’t keep her foot out of her own mouth. She’s constantly talking about her 1-on-1 date, she makes everything about her, and she’s already annoyed every other woman on the date for the most part. Brooklyn delivered what might not only be the line of the season, but the line of the last 10 seasons when she told Christina, “Have you ever considered literally shutting the fuck up?” I’m pretty sure I might say that once or 1000 times the rest of my life. What a line. Quick, someone make a meme of it and put it in the Hall of Fame.
