I saw an interview with Jeremy today where he said, look, I don’t regret anything that happened on my hometown date. I don’t, my mom did not ruin anything for me. Oh, good. Okay. I’m happy to hear that. He did say that, but I think maybe he was just being realistic and maybe he didn’t want to say it in the interview.
Just like, look, I kind of knew she wasn’t picking me anyway, so that’s why I don’t think my mom ruined anything, but he didn’t, he didn’t go there, but he did say my mom didn’t ruin anything for me. Again, as a mother. When you’re watching her as a mother, what do you feel about her and how she reacted to the whole situation?
Well, first off I’ve got two grown stepsons and I, I have oftentimes thought, oh my gosh, if I was on the show, what would I do? And having watched so many hometown visits, I do think to your point, Steve, there’s right mix of saying, I trust you. I trust you. And if it doesn’t work, I’m going to be here for you.
But I think to comment on the relationship, what I personally, as a pet peeve, I hate when people say, and she did this a couple of times, well, I just met you. That’s another like, I only want to be married once like you can have a quick opinion. It takes us 15 seconds, by the way, in a 1st encounter with someone to form an impression.
So to say, I just met you, or I haven’t talked with you enough. It’s like, you’re getting the same amount of time that everybody else does. I just, that to me felt a little bit hollow and then keep bringing it back to her. And her anxiety and then saying, this isn’t a game. This is serious. That to me, again, felt like, oh, mom, you know, no, maybe she didn’t mess it up.
But I do think that. You could at least help your kid make the hometown date neutral. And this to me really did have more of a negative than a positive because Jen herself said, you know, the mom’s skeptical. So I’m really basing it based upon Jen’s reaction to the mother who pretty much said, like, how do you move forward?
I mean, we’ve saw this even with Rachel. And Tino, right? And that was a big deal. How do you move forward when the parents are negative and it doesn’t end well. So my advice to the parents is just, you could say, I don’t get this. This process is weird. It’s so fast, but I trust my kid and I hope they don’t get heartbreaking.
I love to see you. This is a loving relationship. You look great. And if it doesn’t work, we’re going to be here. That’s the best I think you can do.
And I think people appreciate sometimes when the parents are honest on the show and they question how fast this becomes. It’s just when you’re watching it, sometimes it’s a little cringy to watch because you feel like the parents are getting in the way and it should just be a little more, like you said, neutral.
Well, probably have to handle it. So
Steve, now this is just my take on it, but Jeremy himself says you don’t have to be Jewish and that’s okay. But I wondered if that wasn’t something that the mom was picking up on.
Yeah, it’s very possible.
Because In Jewish homes, usually it’s the mother who is, you know, creating the Judaism in the family.
I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but most of the time it’s it’s the mother’s kind of heritage. And if so, she, if she was hoping to have. You know, Jewish grandchildren and religion is an issue then again, even though Jeremy has softened that I just kind of wondered if there was something more there that we didn’t hear or see you know, because Jen is completely lovely and, you know, I, I didn’t hear anything else, but I’d, I’d wondered if that wasn’t mom’s wish or desire.
Yeah, it could have been, and this was the 1st season that even. The Jewish religion was discussed on a day when Jeremy had his one on one with Jen. We’ve just never even heard a conversation like that before where it was discussed in detail. They were talking about children and she said, I, I’m Buddhist.
It was
Zach season. Ariel,
yes, Ariel, that’s right. Ariel did talk about it on Zach’s season. And they did a whole Jewish dinner, right?
Exactly. So I’m thinking we have kind of talked about it. But yes, I was, I, what I liked is how, as a couple, they were talking about blending Buddhism, Judaism, and again, it’s one thing for kids to talk about it.
It’s another. For if the parents are more traditional to understand how that’s going to work.
Yeah. When I look at Jonathan’s hometown date, the really thing, the main thing that stuck out to me was again, another guy, Hey, past relationship got really burned and really struggle saying that word, everything with the family seemed to go fine with them.
They liked her. She liked the family. And they go outside, they sit in the backyard, Jonathan comes up with this, you know, he starts blushing and she’s, she wants to get it out of him. She wants him to say the L word in some form or fashion. Yes. And he makes this big proclamation, which is I’m falling for you.
I’m like, in the context of this show, that is so low bar, especially when we’ve already had a guy tell her, I love you, Jen, and this guy at hometown age, you’re down to the final four. And all you could muster up is I’m falling for you. Now, look, I don’t want to shame Jonathan for not using the L word, but I think if you go on the show, you have to have this expectation of, man, I need to get there quicker.
And if I don’t, I’m probably not going to make it. Yes, maybe it is. People will see it as some of the men are just telling her what they think she wants to hear and what would make good television and what might make a good love story. Maybe some of them are forward thinking of how this is going to look on television.
Just saying I’m falling for you when you’re at hometown dates, just it wasn’t enough and it fell so flat. She had to have been like, yeah, and she repeated I’m falling for you too. It’s like, but what does that mean in this show? I’m falling for you. What does that mean? Falling in like with you, like, I don’t know.
It’s just, it’s not big enough for this show. I
agree. Steven. I don’t think this isn’t Clayton, you know, where he’s really in love with 3 women. I don’t think that at all. I don’t see. I think Jen is in love with Devin. And that feels really good because they have a lot in common, but I don’t really see that.
I did like Jonathan’s mom a lot. The brother was skeptical. What I thought was interesting is there was the sister in law who was really compensating. Like, I think she knew her husband was skeptical right from the beginning. And she’s like, we met on Tinder and we said, I love you in 3 days. And, you know, she was trying to connect with Jen and, and really.
Ease that through. And then the brother was like, oh, this is my baby brother. And he was the skeptical one. But the mom was lovely and said, I really like Jen. And there was a really nice connection. Mom was really listening, saying, you adore my son. And I thought Jonathan even playing lacrosse at the beginning, that was really sweet.
I feel like it’s not so romantic to me. It just feels more playful, feels more like brother sister somehow. I’m not getting huge romance vibes with Jonathan, even though they’re trying right with the rain on the, on the date. But I just don’t, I don’t feel it.
I think one of the things we also got to remember when we watch this show, and I think people just tend to forget this is that like the cast of men chosen for Jen is not number one, it’s not.
We’re looking to cast the 25 most perfect fits for our lead. They’re casting a television show, but the other thing is they’re also casting. Just a wide net of men who want to be on TV. And it’s like, it’s not like these are 25 men that Jen has spoken to in her life before. It’s just like you show up the first night, here’s who we’ve chosen for you to choose from Jen.
So it’s like, it’s more realistic. That’s as to why things don’t work out because you’re relying on a casting department to determine. Who’s your best suitor out of these 25. And like I’ve always said, the ending is just, you’re just choosing who you liked the most out of the group that was chosen for you.
You had no say in choosing these men. It’s just, here’s the men. Who do you like the best? And then go from there. And, and that’s where we kind of end up with Marcus in the last hometown date. The thing that I found most interesting about this date was. And maybe his adoptive parents couldn’t make it.
Maybe they just had something else going on. I found that to be a kind of a big deal when his adoptive parents didn’t make the date. And the only blood he had on the date was his sister. He had one of his army Ranger buddies there. He had a couple that I guess took him in after he got back from the army that he’s very close with.
But Jen saying, I can see myself fitting in with this family. You didn’t meet his family. You met his sister and you didn’t even meet his parents. You never spoke to his parents as far as we know, unless they had a zoom call off camera that we didn’t, that wasn’t shown. And like I said, I don’t want to shame the family for not showing up.
They probably had their reasons, but. I don’t know if it was because we don’t want to be a part of this or we couldn’t make it out with our schedule, you know, just the height, the idea of Marcus having his hometown date in Tacoma, Washington, when the guy lives in North Carolina, it’s the other end of the other end of the map.
Like they’re not even, so I didn’t even really understand. I think parents have to be a part of this hometown date for me to take it seriously. And I don’t know what their reasoning was. But for that, for that matter, I just, I can’t take the Marcus relationship seriously at all.
I I’m, I’m not disagreeing.
In fact, to me, this might feel harsh, but it felt like inviting all those friends, which was trying to like overcompensate for that, like let’s throw a party I don’t think I’ve ever seen. I was thinking in all the hometowns that I’ve ever seen. All these extra people, I mean, maybe, of course, there’s grandparents and aunts and uncles or something, but I’ve never seen this.
Let’s throw a party, so, you know, it’s like Jen’s walking into this and it seemed a little bit kind of shocking and it’s good to know that, like, wow, you have a lot of friends, right? That implies somehow that lots of people like you and that you’re social, but. I didn’t feel like it was very intimate and I didn’t feel like it really moved their relationship forward because you’re not getting that kind of information and knowing Devon in his army training or even post, it’s not the same as knowing someone obviously when they were younger or growing up.
And we do have to just pause for a moment because Devin’s sad story about his parents. You mean Marcus? Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Marcus.
Yeah.
Marcus’s parents dropping him off at daycare and never coming back. Oh my God. What a story
and in and out of foster care homes where they were going to different families and basically him saying like, well, we just, they would just return us like it was like they were toys.
Steve, I’ve worked at these places. I’ve worked at a place called East filming in California where we work with residential kids who don’t have parents and it’s so sad and they’re so wounded. And it’s like that. And then going into the military with that trauma and his injury, you know, it’s. It’s just, it’s a, it’s a sad story.
It really is. It’s a tough, tough wounded story. And so that’s where I’m like, what is the dynamic going on here? Because I, he’s just a big mystery and I’m, I’m, I’m kind of surprised he’s still there, to be honest with you.
Yeah. He’s someone that when you look at it, another one, just like Jonathan, But he’s been a little more emojis, easily the most emotional man this season has been brought to tears.
I think on every date he’s been a part of at some point and another guy having a very hard time opening up and dropping the L word. And he said the same as I think the Jonathan is I’m falling for you. And again, it just was like, okay, well, what does that mean at this point? You can, you, you need to be a little bit more wordy than that, or at least say.
The L word, but don’t say, I love you. Just say, I’m falling in love with you. I can see myself falling in love with you in the future and excited to see where this goes, you know, just some generic line, but say I’m falling for you. Like you said, with Jonathan, it just, it seems to fall a little bit hollow and it’s just, okay, but what does that even mean in the, in the context of this show?
You know? I don’t know.
Yeah, and I was really because to your point, Steve, the only family is sister and, she, I felt like, was also really filtering her words and trying to be very careful of what she said. But then there is that moment where Marcus and his sister are talking and he chokes up about wanting to be a dad and you know.
They’ve really been through trauma together and I get worried about people with that kind of background being on shows like this. I just, I, I worry for their vulnerability and I’m sure, you know, there’s a lot that’s also come out about Marcus and there’s a lot of the subreddits and we won’t even get into that.
But
yeah.
You know, I, you know, it goes without saying, and it’s also cliche. People say, Oh, you need therapy. It’s like, but, but to be on a reality show, I just don’t know the readiness, the readiness for truly being present to someone like Jen. Yeah.
And, and that’s on Marcus’s end as a casting director for the show, he’s gold.
Because this is, we’ve seen, they love putting people on dates who have traumatic past because they, I don’t know if they want to, I don’t know if the word exploit is something that we, if we want to use it that way, but it just seems like the people who do get one on one dates all have some sort of trauma in their past.
It’s very rare that we get someone who has a one on one date who hasn’t had any issues with. Family in the past or struggled with anything. It’s just like, you know what? My life’s been pretty cool. I’m 25 years old. Things are going great. Got a great job. Great friends. It’s just that everybody’s got to have a story.
And it almost seems like you come across boring. If you don’t have a story, whereas people who don’t have a story might not be boring, but for this show, you know, you’ve got. You’ve got his story. You’ve got you know, Jeremy didn’t really have anything traumatic in his past that we, that we, that we know of, but you know, Devin not having a great relationship with his father.
We got Marcus and his situation and being in and out of foster homes. And I think even Jonathan talking about his ex who really I think he said was substance abuse or maybe that was, or, and Grant, our next bachelor, who was he the one that didn’t have. Father was an
alcoholic
father was an alcoholic, you know,
and I actually liked that grant talked about kind of like confronting his dad for making excuses.
And then dad got into rehab and I’m like, Oh, good on grant. Like he seems like he’s handled that. Well,
yeah, it just seems like you almost have to have trauma in your past to get cast on the show. If you’re just too normal,
but in real life. Steve, my advice to people is boring is good, right? Boring is good.
It doesn’t make for great TV, but makes for a good relationship because life itself is going to provide you with context and drama. You don’t need. You know, the police coming or some other kind of, you know, real toxicity. You don’t want that in real life.
Wanted to kind of end with these couple of things.
First off, we just mentioned it briefly, but Grant as the next bachelor, I think we’re fine with him as a, as a contestant, as our bachelor lead, the way it was brought out very suspectively, they’ve never announced their lead the way they did, which was On the internet first, and then it, it took till the show ending on the West coast before their social media accounts, even promoted him as the next bachelor.
He still hasn’t done, he did Nick’s podcast. So I guess that’s his first foray into, Hey, this is who I am. He got a hot seat on the men tell all, which we’ll see next Tuesday. So that’ll be his first interview for people who don’t. Listen to Nick’s podcast. That’ll be his first like bachelor nation type interview.
And we’ll get to know him a little bit more. I’m fine with him as the lead this franchise. When they were thrown under the bus by the LA times back in May for their horrible lack of diversity on the show. I think that had a lot to do. I’m not saying this was some sort of. Token selection as the bachelor, but when they, when an executive producer of the show said back in May to the LA times, if you don’t want to see Asian representation, if you don’t want to see interracial love, if you don’t want to see black people falling in love on the show, then maybe bachelor nation isn’t for you.
I kind of knew we weren’t going to be rolled out with another white lead in September. It just, it would have rang very, very hollow for them to literally tell that to the LA times on a piece where they were crucified for their lack of diversity on the show and then roll us out another straight white guy, you know, it just, so I don’t want to take anything away from grant, but don’t tell me that didn’t play a role in why he was cast and look, this is only our second mail.
Person of color to be the lead, they admitted, they absolutely failed Matt James as bad as you could. So let’s see them like people can say it’s performative or whatever, but at least they’re trying because if they did roll out another white lead, we’d be like, okay, where’s the diversity. On the
show, what I like is that people do learn from one another.
And I think the best, if I was going to go on the show and be the lead, I would just watch previous seasons, see what I liked, what I didn’t kind of like when charity came on to tell Jen. Hey, I wrote lists and, you know, you give advice and you learn things. And my only hope about, I didn’t like how they announced it.
It was very lackluster grant deserved more. Hopefully they’ll There’ll be some retribution and he’ll get a bigger spot. You know, get him on good morning America, do what we normally do. But the one thing I did consider, and you heard this, the producer said that they didn’t want what happened to Jen to happen to Grant, which was the guys didn’t know who they were coming out of the limo for.
Yeah. And
we saw that with Sam, right? Saying, I didn’t know if it was going to be Daisy. I didn’t know if it was going to be Maria. And, and I really didn’t like that. It wasn’t fair to Jen and it’s not going to be fair to grant if you don’t know who the lead is. And he’s saying, I want you to know it’s me and sign up for me.
So I like that premise, but they still could have handled the announcement better and just give people more time. Because if I’m going to go on the show, I want to know who the lead is.
And for the most part, most seasons, they don’t know until they’ve already been selected as a and they just have to kind of go with it.
And That’s why this whole here for the right reasons thing is a legit concern or a legit gripe that the front people have with the franchise, because it just, most contestants go on and they’ve been told you have been selected and they don’t find out until they’re the lead is announced at the, after the final rose.
I want to end with this. And this is something that took off last year with Gary as our golden bachelor. We have Joan as the golden bachelorette starting up in a couple of weeks from now on September 18th, I believe is our open you watch Gary season. And now we’ve got a, a woman leading this show, the golden bachelorette and your thoughts on why do you think that show Gary season resonated the most watched show Season this show has put out since COVID since 2020 was Gary season broke all sorts of ratings records for this show.
And now do you think we’re going to have the same sentiment? Why do you think it resonated with people? And yeah, we had an uptick when Joey aired and, and it was our last bat, you know, last season, Joan, do you think, do you, do we, are we thinking? This is going to continue. And Joan’s going to get the same response.
Does, does Gary and Teresa’s marriage failing after three months have an effect on Joan’s season and people be like, okay, well, we saw what happened last time, no matter how in love they looked, they couldn’t even last three months, or do we think it’s just, you know what, I think I want to watch this because it does seem a little more pure.
I
think back to your question, why did it take off so big? Because the people watching TV and not Hulu, et cetera, to get the, are older people. I mean, that, that don’t, you know, that have cable that are watching the shows and are interested in it. And it’s a low bar. It could be fun. You could watch with your women friends.
You could have watched parties. I knew a lot of people who had never watched the show before who suddenly tuned in. My own mother. You know, was watching it and really interested in it. I loved everything about it. I did. I thought they should have helped them travel. They should have gotten a longer season.
I think there were things they could have done in normal bachelor fashion that would have made it even better. But I just think they had no idea. Now, what I like about Joan. And I’m in the DMS with Joan. I was early on and she said somewhere in an interview, though, I’m not going to make the same mistake that Gary and Theresa made.
She’s not in a rush to get married.
And
I think what was really smart is choosing someone slightly younger. She’s 60. Some of these other women were 70 and beyond, and I think actually a little bit of that pressure comes from life is short. If life expectancy is to 85, you know, we should get going with this.
And so I kind of feel, well, there’s also a huge gap, right? We’re going from 20, 30 year olds. To even 60 year olds. What about the 40 to 50 year olds? Right? Like, where’s the silver bachelor? I still think there’s a show there for those people. But I think Joan is going to be wise. She’s already But You know, privy to social media.
She had already done some really cute Tik Toks and videos. I think she’s really smart. And I had thought that Joan took herself out early. I know that the daughter had postpartum depression and she left, but I actually think she just wasn’t feeling it for Gary. And she left and she did with such poise and she’s an elegant woman.
And I think they chose just looking at the men. I think they chose some great men, educated men, successful men. They all look like, you know, they’re coming out of a banana Republic ad, but I like the men that I’ve seen thus far. I’m excited.
Yeah. And just kind of bring this back to grant the fact that they announced grant on the internet Monday night after the show ends and the very next day.
We get Jones men a two and a half minute video on the golden bachelor ABC Instagram account where? We’re getting to hear them talk. We’re getting here to speak. And, and just, it’s just like, you didn’t even, obviously you’re not going to invent and that’s grants women. Cause you haven’t chosen all of them yet, but announcing grant on Monday night and then dropping Jones men the next day, it’s just like, okay, where are the priorities here?
Do they even want to, Focus on grant season. So that’s that’s obviously an issue in and of itself.
Well, and I do think, right, we have no bachelor in paradise, right? We have, I don’t know. I’d be curious and I don’t know what’s going to happen even like next year, because, so let’s say the golden bachelorette does really well.
Are we going to, we’re going to have bachelor in paradise and then, you know, Golden bachelor bachelorette. Cause now we’re talking about a lot of seasons here and they just need more people to film all of that. I can only imagine that’s like a daunting thing. It could be a good problem to have if it becomes popular.
Yeah. So grant season will film September to November and start airing in January. Then the bachelorette. I’m assuming we’ll come from grant season. That’ll film March to May,
right?
Paradise films in June, but paradise airs September. I mean, paradise airs after bachelorette and we know we’re having paradise next year, so if there is a golden bachelor or a golden bachelorette next season, it would have to film either July or August of 2025, and then it would air.
I don’t think they’re going to do the same thing they did in season one of golden bachelor, where it’s golden bachelor for an hour followed by paradise. It looks like it would be. We’re going to air paradise. And then if we’re going to have a fourth season from our franchise air and a calendar year, it looks like that would have to air November, end of October to December.
It’s almost too much.
I think the only gap that there really is, is when bachelor to bachelorette, there is a gap because that’s
two months gap gap there. So that
my only thinking is that we kind of, instead of squeezing in at the end of the year, did they get it in someplace else? Because maybe. You put golden bachelor.
So you do bachelor golden bachelor.
Then, then, then Bachelorette, then Paradise.
I don’t know. That’s the only thing that I’m thinking.
And we don’t even know, maybe there, maybe Joan will be the last season of the golden era, but if it does, if it does the numbers or even close to the numbers or even outdraws Jen season, there’s no way they’re getting rid of it, you know?
So yeah, but they’ve committed to bachelor paradise. And that means we will have four. Four episodes, four seasons of this franchise in the year 2025. I
love the idea that it’s never too late for love. I mean, that’s my whole platform. I work with older people. I found love later myself. To me, this is the message that resonates that, you know, you feel young again, when you’re falling in love, it doesn’t matter how old you are.
I really hope. To be honest with you, Steve, that we steer away from what I didn’t like in the golden bachelor. It’s, it’s more deep in the comments where like the women are like, did you wear sunscreen? They’re, they’re kind of backsliding negative comments about the women and aging. And I’m like pro aging.
And like, let’s just talk about the love story as opposed to like what someone really looks like. Cause that to me just feels so You know, unit dimensional. And I want something deeper than that.
Yeah. And we’ll see. I mean, I’m looking forward to Jones season, really looking forward to seeing how this plays out and how it differs or is similar to Gary’s season.
So
Mark Kelsey’s
dad is on it or something that somebody that everybody wants to
see.
Yeah, I’m thinking
maybe he becomes the next golden bachelor. Who knows? Right? Yeah.
Anyway Dr. Diane, thank you so much for coming on. Always love chatting with you. I appreciate it. First time we get to do video. We’ll obviously do it again in the future, maybe at the end of a Jones season.
I’ll have you back on. Yes, I’d love to, because
I, I’ve got my grandparent Barbies cause I have my Barbie collection. I got my older man and mature woman and I’m. I’m ready to go. Cannot wait.
Well, thank you so much for coming on and obviously we’ll be in touch. Take care.
Okay. Thanks.
Thank you to Dr.
Diane. I really appreciate her coming on. Always a great talk with her. Great insight to kind of like the psyche of these contestants and the lead, what she really thought of Jen. I thought it was really great to hear her breakdown Jen’s past, how it affects her future, what she’s attracted to. Really good stuff from Dr.
Diane. She’s always welcome on this podcast. Don’t forget this Sunday on the live stream, we are going to be talking golden bachelorette, maybe some gen season, maybe anything I hear about grant season or what they’re doing or whatnot. But anyway, don’t forget that’s coming up Sunday night, 8 p. m. Eastern time, seven central six mountain five Pacific, and going to go over gambling one on one sports gambling for people that are interested.
Like I’m saying, I’m not teaching you. I’m not telling you, Hey, bet this, do that. It’s more about. What are you looking at when you’re looking at gambling numbers? If you go to Las Vegas and you see all these numbers on the board, it’s probably intimidating. It’s actually very easy. And I want to show that to people.
So. Tune in Sunday at 8 p. m. Eastern time on my live stream on my YouTube channel reality. Steve to check that out again Thank you all for listening. I really appreciate it. Follow me on Apple podcast also rate and review, but you gotta hit play Especially don’t go a week without listening to my podcast because then it won’t download into your feed anymore Even if you are following me daily round was posted a couple hours ago sports daily was posted an hour ago Go check it out Those out again.
Thank you all for listening for Dr. Diane Strakowski. I’m reality. Steve, again, appreciate you listening. And I will talk to you tomorrow.
Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is RealitySteve, or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.
