Reality Steve

Reader Emails

The Largest “Reader Emails” of the Season

Photo Credit: ABC


As part of your readership, here is an obligatory thank you, but with a few additional specifications:

Obviously, thanks for unlocking and revealing the nature and politics of the show.
Thanks for not contributing to negative and unnecessary comments about the women’s physical appearances.

Thanks for subjecting both the men and women on the show to the same kind of criticism and avoiding double standards.

Thanks for respecting the readers and not treating us like we are stupid.

Your approach to your work is down-to-earth, and that makes you easy to follow and like.

My question is about the final rose. As far as I know, the “winning” contestant has never turned down the final rose before, and I don’t expect for this to happen any time soon. But if it ever does, can it cause the same damage to the franchise that Nick Peterson’s decision did to Bachelor Pad? Could it even be allowed by producers because it goes against the whole apparent point of the show? Forgive me if this has been asked before.


Comment: From what I’ve been told, a contestant is not contractually allowed to turn down a proposal if offered to them, and that has to do with the contract Neil Lane has with the show. Because that would look bad for his business.

It’s that time again where I work a slow overnight shift and send you all my thoughts! I’m pretty bad about asking actual questions, but I enjoy giving you my thoughts and hearing your opinion and how it differs. Prepare for this to take up an entire page, so feel free to cut out anything not worthy 🙂

1) I’ll start with bachelorette talk. I know you’ve been saying all season it will be Raven or Rachel probably, and I agree that it probably will be based on the typical patterns. Rachel seems like the perfect candidate and gives them their minority bachelorette opportunity, but if for some reason that fell through I could see them potentially going with Kristina. No, she wasn’t top 4 and we don’t see that much of her, but America fell in love with her after her 1 on 1, and she has a story that we haven’t seen yet on top of being beautiful and having the “foreign” factor they’re wanting (even if she is still white). They’ve loved to surprise us the past few years starting with the two bachelorettes (and having it be Kaitlyn- the Alexis of her season at the beginning until we saw a serious side), then picking Ben who we thought was too young to be considered at only 26, thennn with Jojo they picked the runner-up for the first time ever, and thennnnn freaking Nick. I just don’t see it being Raven.. her personality would fit the role buut as mean as I’m being, I do not find her very attractive and can’t see it being believable to have her as the “dream girl” for 25 men. I know many people probably disagree and maybe men find her very attractive, but that’s just this viewer’s opinion. I thought it was a little odd to announce Jojo at the ATFR but they did it anyway because she was easily the best candidate and was worth the awkward timing, but I don’t see them going to that extent for Raven… (please don’t read this Raven I still think you’re awesome). Thoughts?? Figured I’d just leave this in here to show that anyone can make a strong argument for anyone, and it still not happen.

2) Holy sh*t do bachelor fans get offended by ex-contestants posting ads. Ashley and JP rarely do but there are always people commenting “not you guys too” “wow I thought you were above fake ads” etc… like it genuinely upsets people and it is so weird to me. Hell, offer me $25 to post a pic of me with some whitening toothpaste and I’d do it! I don’t see why they wouldn’t take the opportunity to make some extra money for their family by posting a few cheesy photos, especially since they (JP/Ashley) still work normal jobs. I get that some contestants take it too far, but it’s pretty funny to see people freak out as if they would say no if they were offered to do that. I think they freak out on the ones that overdo it. But yeah, it’s what the show has become now. Hell, if a contestant DOESN’T do it, they should be praised, because essentially all of them do. Even the early eliminatees. They’re doing whatever they can to stay relevant.

3) Alright so… I must know. You seem like you’re good at seeing people’s intentions and do not shy away from speaking your mind on whether people are genuine, trying to promote their career/fame, just trying to sleep around, etc. You can see through people’s facades and call them as they are without letting it affect your personal opinion of them, from what I’ve gathered. However…. there is one person you have yet to acknowledge any ill-intentions of theirs or wrongdoing… miss Taylor Swift. I know she’s your celeb obsession, but I need to know if you genuinely think she is this pure angel or if you can see what I see in that she is snakey as hell. The girl told Calvin Harris she did not want her name on the song, then once it became a hit and they broke up she decides she needs to take the credit and make him look bad so she can look good. And the Kanye thing of course… once the song came out and had a negative response for being derogatory, she was so upset and made a HUGE thing out of it, making him look awful for “taking credit for her fame”… then the tape comes out and doesn’t own up to anything, just uses the excuse that he called her “that bitch” (the only part not discussed on the tape) as what upset her. You don’t live under a rock so I’ll stop being a reporter, but the girl really admits no wrong doing and has gone out of her way to make others look bad while remaining the victim countless times. I don’t usually feel strongly about celebrities and don’t even pay attention, but she just pops out as a snake to me and I’m shocked that you don’t see that! Or maybe you do but you love her so she does no wrong in your eyes? Be honest please (I know you will!). I don’t see it as bad as you do, but I can see why others do feel that way. Personally, I think she does more behind the scenes stuff (some that ends up getting publicized and some that doesn’t) for her fans than almost any other singer in recent memory. To me that speaks volumes about her. I think she hasn’t handled public relationships all that well, I’ll give you that. But the Kanye thing, I don’t pin that on her. I’m not privy to all the details about the Calvin Harris thing. Based on what you said, that wasn’t what I’d heard happened. Not saying you aren’t right though. Is she an angel? No. But I think she takes a ton of heat for things that aren’t necessarily things one should get a ton of heat for.

4) Lastly, I thought it was funny how in the first reader email this week about having Corrine as bachelorette, you responded “I don’t see any way Corinne is the “Bachelorette.” They’ve never chosen a “villain” for that role, per se. She’s too disliked to get the lead gig. She’s much more suited for BIP, which she will be on, and that essentially kills her being the “Bachelorette.””

I know it’s different for the bachelorrete than the bachelor, but I just couldn’t help but giggle at the irony that you just described pre-Bachelor Nick to the T. (and yes I know and agree there’s still no way in hell Corinne would ever be the lead)!

My eyes are too tired to go back and proof read my novel, so hopefully I didn’t commit grammar suicide anywhere and it all made sense. Ha- have a good night Steve- thank you!!!

I have one more thing I forgot to add….

I feel like with Ashley I. bringing her sister to paradise, the show focusing a lot more on the comical aspect in paradise, and how much of a story line Corinne’s nanny was this season.. I’d be willing to bet good money that producers will absolutely at least attempt to get Raquel to make an appearance with Corrine on paradise. Whether it happens or not is another thing, but how accurate am I in assuming that would be something they will try to do? As ridiculous as it would be….. I’d not NOT enjoy watching it. It’s possible. I don’t think it’d be that far fetched, no.

Okay I lied, one more thing. I’m starting to realize that producers/editors actually really do not give a damn what viewers opinions are. If you read the comments on the official bachelor FB page posts, everyyyyone complains about how they’re tired of the show only focusing on the drama/Corinne instead of the actual dates and relationships, and I agree. It’s not that they shouldn’t show any drama, it’s just that they show the same things over and over again. We know Corinne is spoiled. We know girls don’t love her. We know Jasmine was insecure. Because they show 50 different ITMs of them saying the same things in slightly different sentence structures instead of any conversations longer than 30 seconds of Nick and the women. Example: Nick talking to Whitney about how he loves being around her and she’s such a calming presence, and Whitney doing a People interview about a massage date she set up for him a few episodes back- and we’ve literally never seen one conversation between them other than 10 seconds of the 2 on 1. Obviously it’s not as important to show some of the background players, but it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I only know the personalities/relationships of like 3 girls and it’s just too damn repetitive! Do you agree or do you enjoy the drama? On top of that, everyone talked about how much they hated the “to be continued” every week on Kaitlyn’s season (and I’m talking about everyone on their FB and twitter- not my opinion) and yet here we are again with the same layout. I guess since people are still watching, they don’t really care what we think… but I would still hope they want viewers to enjoy it. But whatever, they have one less viewer on Monday nights- I just record it now so I can fast forward through half of it. I’m sure I’ll be deeply missed 🙂

Comment: I don’t like the show. If it wasn’t my job, I wouldn’t write about it. Do I like spoiling the show? Absolutely. There’s the difference. That’s the pleasure I get out of doing what I do. I like being the only site in all of the internet that season in and season out, spoils every episode of this show before anyone sees the first one. I think that’s pretty cool. So yes, that part of the show I love doing. The actual show itself? Could not care less what happens, etc. It’s not my concern. It so happens to be the show I cover because of the information I get for it, but I really don’t pay much attention to the show in that way. I just write about what I see and hear and try and keep it to that.

What’s the deal with all the women on this show and their obsession with year of the Elan? They all post pics with him. I get he wants to be buddy buddy with everyone so they open up…But none of these women catch on to this? And isn’t he married? How much of that is an act by him you think?

Thanks love your site!!

Comment: A lot of it. And they don’t want to burn any bridges for fear of retribution or being “left out” of the “Bachelor” family. So they just deal with it. Those that suck up to Elan know where their bread is buttered.

Hi Steve

Long time reader of your site and I love it!

I have never believed that Ben loves Lauren. Their relationship has seemed forced from the beginning. She seems to require way too much attention and is really quite insecure. I think she is in love with the idea of being married but I don’t see that her and Ben have much in common.

I find her extremely boring and don’t feel like her and Ben have any natural chemistry.

There is no reason why they wouldn’t be married by now except if it is never going to happen.

Ben should move on and find a woman he is head over heels for!

Comment: Can’t say I disagree with much of that. I don’t think you’ll have to wait too much longer though. No worries.

Hi Steve!

LOVING the podcasts so far! This is digging pretty far back, but I would love for you to reach out to interview Kate Brockhouse of Andy’s season if you haven’t already contacted her. I remember she had a really revealing blog where she talked about lots of behind the scenes stuff – having a boyfriend, smuggling in cellphones or going on runs to use the payphone, everyone hated Andy, etc… would love her as a podcast guest!

Also Tina Wu from that season as well had a myspace at that time (or so I read from forums) that sounds like it highlighted truth vs what was shown on tv – would be interesting to hear from as well. I don’t remember either of those girls to be honest. And I don’t think a majority of the audience does either.

I would love to hear from former producers as well! Sarah Gertrude Shapiro and/or anyone else. Not sure how much they are allowed to talk about the process though. I would love to have anyone from UnREAL on. I think that may happen down the line as we get closer to season 3 airing.

Finally, I would love to hear former contestants (esp who were edited to be a ‘villain’) takes on their relationships with producers during the show and after, and why so many of them are still buds with the producers after a lousy edit, like Courtney is.

Thanks so much! Loving these much more than the video chats!

Comment: Trust me, that was one thing I wanted to get into with Courtney, but she was rolling, had so many good answers, I just never got around to it. But hopefully we will in the future with others.


I have to say that the intro music on the podcast is awesome. I am not sure if it was an afterthought or not, but it sets a great tone for the rest of the time you are listening. Nice choice!

Comment: Thank you for noticing that, and it definitely wasn’t an afterthought. If you’ve followed this site long enough, you know I grew up on 80’s movies. More specific, 80’s teen movies. Watched and loved all of them. Especially the John Hughes ones. And I’ve mentioned on quite a few occasions the “Blane vs Duckie” debate from “Pretty in Pink.” Well, my intro and outro music is from basically the best scene in that movie when Andie and Blane go to the club after leaving Steff’s party, where Duckie is wallowing in his sorrows. The band playing on stage are the Rave-Ups, and the song is called “Positively Lost Me.” You hear maybe :10 seconds of it, then it plays in the background, then picks back up when Andie and Blane leave because Duckie is being an ass. I know, random. But for the longest time, that song always stuck with me. So when I was thinking about the podcast, I knew I wanted that song as my intro. Rather than just throw it on there even though it’s from 30 years ago and I probably could’ve gotten away with it despite copyright issues, I actually emailed the lead singer of the Rave Ups, Jimmer Podrasky, and asked him personally if I could use the song. I gave him a little backstory of how I’ve always loved the song and he thanked me and said I could use it. The rest is history.

Hey Steve,

Regarding ‘special treatment’ of contestants by producers while the show is filming, have you heard of any stories this season? Courtney alluded to it in her interview saying that she was allowed to call her sister; I know you also mentioned that Nikki (JP’s winner) was allowed her own room and made producers buy a microwave for her wax strips (ha)… any examples of stuff like this happening this season? Haven’t heard anything like that this season. Doesn’t mean it didn’t/couldn’t have happened. I just didn’t hear either way.

Also, regarding the generous edit of Vanessa (and Nikki to some extent), are the contestants (or Bachelor) ever behind this, or is it purely what would be most convenient for the storyline, and Vanessa thus lucked out this season in that regard?

Comment: That’s what I would probably chalk it up to. She’s lucky Corinne gave them plenty of other material.

Hi Steve,

I have been enjoying your podcasts – so much more convenient to tune into than the video chats. Today’s was fantastic! Based on your hints, Courtney was my guess. Love her (and you)! Keep up the great work. You add a new level to the Bachelor franchise shows and keep me watching for sure.

I’ve written you a couple times before, but I’m not sure if I ever mentioned that you prompted me to buy the full FNL series on DVD probably 2 years ago. My husband and I watched over the course of a few months, and it was one of the only shows in recent memory we actually both liked and were hooked on. Clear minds, full hearts, can’t lose.

Comment: Yet another I’ve converted. I’m telling you, you can’t go wrong. And it’s common for both husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend to both enjoy the show. I find that a lot. It appeals to both sexes.

Your interview with Courtney was terrific. I’ve totally changed my mind about her. I didn’t read her book and I was one of the many who hated her but she clearly got a bad rap. Ben is a tool. I especially loved the part about her sister spoiling the travel locations because of you!

Unrelated question now. Are the contestants contractually obligated to not question the Bachelor once they got dumped? It appears that most of the time the Bachelor will break the news “it’s time to say goodbye” and the girl will just take it, no questions asked. This always bugs me but I really noticed it last episode when Danielle just accepted Nick’s rejection without any follow-up. They obviously had more chemistry then say he did with The Friendly Ghost so why not ask him what the hell went wrong? Do you know if the producers tell them to save their questions until the Women Tell All? If so, sucks for them because no one ever gets any real closure on the WTA.

Comment: I think in that moment, you’re probably too stunned to ask why as well. But yeah, saving it for the WTA is also a reason.

Hi Steve,

Do you know if the Bachelor leads get some sort of training in listening techniques prior to going on the show. I have been super impressed with the way Nick, Ben and even Chris listened to each woman during 1 on 1 time, have the ability to make them all feel heard, validated, etc.

Comment: Really? Because I’ve thought just the opposite (as have a lot of readers), that Nick seems completely bored by what the women tell him and he checks out on basically everyone he’s not interested in.

Hey Steve,

Just a few questions…

1. It seemed as though Rachel had a really great chance of becoming Bachelorette as opposed to Raven seeing as how society has been pushing for ABC to cast a black lead, but from looking at social media the past couple of weeks, it seems like it could be going in the other direction. Now, I know you always say never to base anything off of social media, but seeing what happened with Caila and JoJo last season, I couldn’t help to bring this up. Last season, before Caila was going to originally be announced as the Bachelorette, I recall her having around 40K followers on Instagram, while JoJo had a couple of hundred-thousand. JoJo go the gig. Granted there is still almost half a season to go, and the WTA might just help Rachel, but right now, it’s looking the same way for her. Raven (as of Feb. 11) has 179K followers on Instagram. Rachel (as of Feb. 11) has 61.8K. Raven has almost triple Rachel’s amount of followers on Instagram, and she has over triple Rachel’s amount on Twitter. If this ratio were to not change between now and ATFR, do you think that there is a better chance producers could choose Raven over Rachel? Again, now that the announcement has been made, we can no longer use this as reasoning to why one person gets it over another. The announcement of Rachel kills that argument for all future seasons. Thank God.

2. Say Rachel is the Bachelorette, do you think when Chris is sitting down with her right after she’s announced on ATFR that he would at all acknowledge the fact that she is the first person of color to be cast as the lead or is the show just going to let the media run this subject and not directly acknowledge it at all on the actual show? Ha ha, well we certainly have our answer to that question now.

3. Do you think or know of any contestants who have a goal coming on this show to be the “villain” and just try to act erratic in front of the cameras whether they become the edit they strive for or not? It’s really tough to say without having spoken to every single one.

4. You’ve said that you would never pass your business onto anyone else, but if your niece or nephew were interested (which you’ve already said they wouldn’t be), would you ever consider passing it on to them (just a hypothetical)? No.

5. Which guy would you consider to have done the best job at being the Bachelor? What about the Bachelorette?

Comment: Too hard to answer those because they all come across as the same to me. They all do and say the same things every season, just with different people. I really don’t know.

Hi Steve,

1. I thoroughly enjoyed your interview with Courtney (and all the other ones as well). I remember in the past you said it was very difficult to get former contestants to associate with you. What is it about the audio format of a podcast that allows you to all of a sudden be able to conduct these interviews? Well, I think the fact that I actually HAVE an outlet to do interviews now makes it easier. Before it would’ve been something where I had to transcribe a phone call, and that just wasn’t happening. Now that I’ve got the equipment for it and learned how to use, makes it much much easier. I just never really asked in the past because I didn’t have the proper equipment.

2. I keep hearing from various leads that “being the bachelor/bachelorette is so hard/draining/exhausting”. Do you believe this? It’s almost hard for me to relate to that statement considering the leads get paid a year’s salary, get to travel the world, gain thousands of social media followers, and potentially make more money from social media. There’s also the fact that almost nobody does this for “love” anymore, so that should remove a lot of the pressure. Everyone’s just there to have a good time. I do. I think when they “draining” and “exhausting,” they’re more talking about the long hours, the lack of sleep, and the constant idea that you have to talk about your feelings all day every day. Yes, it’s a free vacation, yes you’re getting paid for it, and yes there are worse things one can be doing, but doesn’t make it any less exhausting. And that “exhaustion” probably also includes having to talk constantly how you feel about someone you know you’re sending home that day or very soon. It’s non stop.

3. That leads into my third question. Why does it seem like some contestants have never watched this show? I don’t understand people like Jasmine who complained so much. If you’ve made it that far and haven’t had a one on one, you have to know you’re just being strung alone for show purposes, right? If you know you aren’t going to win, why not just enjoy being on the show until you leave? That could just be her saying that for the cameras. Unless you asked each individual person if they’ve watched or not, we really don’t know. But yes, I do believe some every season are cast who aren’t familiar with the show. Not completely oblivious, but some that definitely haven’t watched every single episode.

Hi Steve,

I have been reading your site and watching the Bachelor shows since 2011 when I graduated college. I had never seen the show before but one of my girlfriends convinced me that even though I am a guy I would love the show. I agree with you that sports is the best reality show out there, and this past calendar year proves that, but this show continues to suck me in season after season.

I have enjoyed each of your podcasts so far and look forward to them each week. Your guests are great and relevant and have a lot of interesting things to say. I have particularly liked Possessionista because I follow her on Twitter and watch her Periscopes during the episodes, Nick Peterson because he is behind the greatest ending in Bachelor history (last year I went back and rewatched that season of Bachelor Pad), and most recently Courtney. I have not read her book, but she had many insightful things to say about her time on the show as well as afterwards. I agree that the social media nature of the show now has changed it even from 6 years ago when I started watching, and that can be a negative in the case of online bullying and threats.

As so many of your readers say, I enjoy watching the show as much as I do not only because of your spoilers but also because of your other behind the scenes information (the whole crazy Jordan Rogers situation and Chad being Chad makes that season my favorite) and reader emails. Those seasons make it no wonder that show is one of the most fascinating on tv. (And the episodes like the haunted house date are examples of the show being dreadful.) Add my vote that the podcasts are better than the old live chats – more interesting, certainly less repetitive. I hope you can continue to get great guests as time goes on and you do more episodes. I will also add that I find your personal story about getting your dream job on radio with Jim Rome right out of school, dealing with setbacks as other jobs didn’t work out, and turning a hobby of writing about a show into a full time job inspiring. Life is a crazy thing, and you never know the direction it will take you.

Comment: Thank you. The last 10 years there have been so many unexpected things that have happened to me, you gotta just sit back and laugh sometimes. This obviously wasn’t my life plan coming out of college, but I’m enjoying it more now than I think if I would’ve stayed in radio.

Hi Steve,

So in this situation with Corinne….don’t the girls get that, clearly, Nick is being instructed/pressured to keep her on? Girls like Vanessa and Taylor seem pretty smart…you would think they would realize that the reason he keeps her on week after week is because she makes for good tv. Yet, they seem to continue to take it personally. They know they’re on a TV show. Do these girls really not get it? Would Nick ever say something off camera to Vanessa like… “she’s not what I want…but this is a show. Trust me, the one I want here is you”? Because, if I were him, that’s how I’d respond to her concerns.

Comment: I’m sure privately they do. But that’s breaking the fourth wall and they know never to say that on camera because it’d never get shown. But yes, I’m sure they’re well aware of it.

Hi Steve, Here’s some questions for you.

You could tell from the cast this season they were looking for a woman of ethnic diversity to be the new lead. I imagine they were waiting to see the cream of the crop rise to the top. Rachel had brains and personality and will be a good choice. In my humble opinion it’s 2017 and I see beyond color of skin. I think America will too.

1. Rachel – If she is the new Bachelorette, Do you think she needs a makeover? Her hairstyle could be more flattering around her forehead, perhaps some bangs? Well, we know now she is, and I definitely saw a different hairstyle on Monday night on Kimmel.

2. Vanessa – So close to the end of the show, with Vanessa as the winner I think its odd we have not seen much of a romance documented with her. Do you have any insight why? She’s the only one still remaining of the 4 who had two 1-on-1 dates. And both were shown. And it’s obvious he’s into her. Not sure what else more you want.

3. Corinne – I have to admit I don’t hate her but just tired of her. It’s been the Corrine Show and I would have enjoyed other story lines. The show seems so narrow this season. Do you think just poor writing or that they didn’t have material? Seems like maybe Nick had some more normal girls, and Corinne was the odd bird who gave them everything they needed. Really weren’t many other “characters” so to speak this season. Alexis was one and they showed as many funny moments with her as they could. Jasmine had her moments, but really, no one else. So yeah, I guess they were forced to focus on Corinne.

4. Any predictions on who will go to Paradise this summer? Corrine, Alexis, Raven? I wonder? Wlll Ashley I be going back? I think Ashley I and Corrine in a interacting or in a disagreement would be entertaining…Ashley I. claims she’s done but I’ll believe that when I see it. There’ll be at least 10 of Nick’s girls on BIP, if not more. Corinne, Alexis, Raven, Whitney, Danielle L., Kristina, Jasmine, Sarah, Josephine, Taylor are ones that I definitely think will be on. Those are who immediately come to my head.

5. Nick, if he is trying for Dancing with the Stars, his recent interviews have been really flat, not very engaging or interesting. He does not shine. Do you think he blew it?

Comment: No. According to reports, it’s not happening and he’s not getting cast. I don’t think it has to do with his interviews.

Hi Steve,

Do you see Kristina as someone they’d cast on Paradise? She seems to have a decent fan base.

Comment: I’d be shocked if she wasn’t on Paradise.

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  1. kathyfrank1222

    February 16, 2017 at 11:37 AM


  2. jlal

    February 17, 2017 at 10:29 AM

    Well, after reading some of the email happy to see it is not just me that thinks Nick is obviously faking it and not doing it well. He just doesn’t seem into any of the women at all. Also, that it has become the Corrine show and most don’t give a flip about her. I don’t know who is more obviously a fake, Nick or Corrine. Heck even with how annoying Ashley I. was, I didn’t get as tired of her as fast as I did Corrine.

  3. valadega

    February 17, 2017 at 1:23 PM

    I TOTALLY agree with you jlal. Nick has looked like he has been bored to death this season. I am so sick of “The Corinne show.” The producers let her antics go on way too long.

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