Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

Podcast #13 with Special Guest Clare Crawley Along with “Dr. Reality Steve” Emails

When I first decided I wanted to do the podcasts, my goal was to get as many former contestants as I could and get them to open up about their season. Maybe give a little insight to things you didn’t see, weren’t shown, and each person’s individual thoughts on what they were going through. I’ve realized by doing these first few (with Clare only being the 4th former contestant I’ve interviewed), there is so much more every podcast we can dive into. Like, I have a rough outline of what I want to talk about, but then after I start listening to these people, they take me in directions I didn’t think it was going. And I thank all of them for that. Today’s podcast with Clare is no exception. You are going to get a VERY candid look at her time on Juan Pablo’s season. Yes, I knew we’d start off talking about it, but it ended up being basically half of the 80 minute podcast. She was very forthcoming about everything she felt about him, the process, and what went on that maybe a lot of us didn’t realize or didn’t see. If you liked how open and honest Courtney was last week, I think you’re really going to appreciate Clare’s candidness about her season. A lot of you sent tweets and emails about how much your like for last week’s podcast and your opinion changed of Courtney after hearing the interview. While I appreciate the praises, I like that a lot of you also included her in the tweets sent to me so she could see them as well. Courtney contacted me after the podcast to say she was overwhelmed with all the love she was getting from you guys. So if you feel the same way about any podcast, and want to tweet at me about it, definitely include the interview subject in your tweet as well so they see it too. Clare’s Twitter and Instagram information is below, as have all of the guests. Hope you enjoy today’s podcast and thanks again to Clare for being so forthcoming about her time on the show.

You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:

Subscribe: iTunes, RSS, Stitcher
Music written by Jimmer Podrasky
(B’Jingo Songs/Machia Music/Bug Music BMI)

(SPOILERS) We begin by talking about her naivete heading in to Juan Pablo’s season, deciding to go with a fake baby bump for her limo entrance (3:17), her getting the first date of the season (5:20), her “feud” with Nikki (7:50), initial feelings on Juan Pablo (14:15), she addresses the rumors of having sex in the ocean with him (18:05), her candid details of wanting to leave in St. Lucia and what he said to her in the helicopter (26:09), all her thoughts on the final rose ceremony (33:22), her BIP 1 experience (42:58), talking to raccoons (46:27), going on BIP – again (51:15), post-show life (58:37), brief talk about Nick’s season and Rachel as the “Bachelorette” (1:00:28), and finally a very fun Rapid 10 (1:04:13).

Twitter: @Clare_Crawley
Instagram: clarecrawley

“Dr. Reality Steve” emails on page 2…

Page 1 of 212


  1. walker

    February 16, 2017 at 11:41 AM

    omg – seriously?… To the letter writer who wants to abandon her family to go off alone to have a daughter I ask: Do you know any children of divorced families? Have you ever met a teenage boy whose mom abandoned him at a young age and broke up the family? I implore you to reconsider these thoughts and get counseling immediately. No good will come out of you leaving your otherwise supportive loving marriage and your 2 young sons for you to buy a daughter to raise alone. Please, get help to find out what is causing this hole in your life that you believe needs a fantasy daughter to fill. Can you imagine how your sons will feel? Mommy left and destroyed our happy sense of a secure loving home and family because we are boys – it’s our fault, she doesn’t love us because we aren’t girls – they are so young, this is what they will take away from you leaving if you go through with that choice. Please, slow down and seriously think about this and the ramifications to the children you already have and your responsibility to raise them in a loving safe environment. What happens if you leave, your sons and husband are filled with anger, loss, sadness, – you go off on your own, single income, you select a daughter through fertility, and then what if you accidentally get another boy (There are no 100 percent guarantee selections)? Do you get rid of him too? What if you get a daughter, but she doesn’t fill the hole, are you going to have expectations of her that are ultimately going to make her resent you? What if she hates pink, throws a tantrum when you want to take her shopping, wants to play with trucks, isn’t a mommy’s girl, won’t wear dresses, what do you do then? Leave her and try again for this ideal “daughter” of your dreams? And what if she is born with a disability? …. Divorce and leaving your children should by a last resort when there is abuse in a marriage not on a whim of fancy because you have some sort of idea in your head of what having a daughter would be like for you – I’m telling you from experience, leaving your boys for this reason will mess them up – are you willing to choose to do that on purpose? Go to counseling. Find out what is causing your feelings of if only I had a daughter all would be happiness. Learn how to be happy and fulfilled with the blessing of sons. Perhaps mentor or join the Big Sister program if you would like some girl time in your life. Spend more time with a friend’s daughter or nieces if you like the idea of “girl time”. Whatever you have put in a mental box as things that you can only share with a daughter, try to share with your sons; gender activities are more fluid these days. Girls play sports and boys love cooking. Try these activities with your sons – teach them to cook, bake cookies with them, take them shopping, get them art supplies and do projects with them in addition to what they may be doing already. Most important, please don’t ever let them feel that they are a disappointment to you because they are boys not girls, they had no say in that. Embrace that you have 2 healthy happy children and figure out why this is not enough – there is something there that you need to acknowledge and figure out and then deal with in a more healthy way than destroying a family.

  2. rob22

    February 16, 2017 at 1:47 PM

    So, to the first letter writer. I would take a step back and think about your friend. Though you both are clearly at different stages of life, that probably won’t always be the case. You do seem to be going through a season where you’re just in different places. But if you start “deleting” every friendship because you’re at different places in life or because they suddenly have opinions different than yours, your friendship list might end up getting pretty short. I’d just take a longer view of things, and perhaps press the “pause” button, not the “delete” button. We all need good friends. Sometimes over the course of many years, we have very, very few friends and wonder how we got disconnected from so many good friends over the years. I suggest not burning any bridges, pressing the pause button (for now) & reconnect whenever the time seems right. Just don’t let that be years from now after she’s moved to Bangkok to search for eternal consciousness.

    As for the divorce and get a daughter person, that’s just lunacy. You’re going to rip yourself and your two kids out of a stable household just so you can go on a journey to have a daughter? I try not to be terribly judgmental but come on. Are you joking? I think many married couples go through a negotiation on how many kids to have and there might be disagreements. But this is one of those HUGE topics where BOTH need to be in agreement. My wife and I were initially at me wanting 2 and her wanting 4+. I told her going in that I would only commit to 2. She told me she’d eventually convince me to have more. She found that 2 was a handful and decided that 2 was, in fact, the right number. I’m quite sure that there are a whole lot of other issues intertwined with the two of you that I’m not going to guess at. The way your question is written makes you both come off like very selfish and stubborn people. The way you both have taken the “my way or the highway” approach to this issue is very far from how married people should be conducting their lives together. Bottom line, you need some marital counseling to sort out your issues. I very much doubt that the having a daughter issue is the main issue. It sounds more like a symptom of a larger problem about how you negotiate issues, communicate and behave as a married couple.

  3. purplerayne

    February 17, 2017 at 9:21 AM

    Thank you for having Clare on! I appreciate her being upfront about her own quirks and anxieties, makes sense why a show like this would exploit that to their advantage. She’s their perfect contestant: naive, hopeful and a bit quirky. Things they use to beat out a narrative that they want. She’s a lovely person, hope she finds/found love.

  4. bnfan

    February 17, 2017 at 10:33 AM

    I’m wondering if people still have a hatred of Juan Pablo now that we know there was no sex in the ocean and he didn’t say in the helicopter what people assumed he said. I withheld judgment because I know (thanks to RS teaching us about producers’ ways) that if we didn’t see it and if we didn’t see them say it, then we shouldn’t assume it. People were hating him for supposedly slut-shaming Clare when, come to find out through this podcast, that no slut was happening by Clare. I wonder if people even bother to go back and change their opinion now that the premise on which that opinion is based has changed. Or people will continue to blindly hate.

    Also I gave JP a lot of leeway regarding communication and intrepretive outlook because he came from a different culture, and English was not his first languange even though he was born here. I couldn’t believe Clare and Steve are still making fun of him for his communication skills. Come on! It’s like making fun of immigrants for their accents, or making fun of the blind for not being able to see, or making fun of the learning impaired for not understanding rocket science.

  5. wavecatchingmom

    February 19, 2017 at 10:03 AM

    If you want a more balanced view of JP, Sharleen had a lot to say about him. I’ve dated internationally before and I can see both sides. I do think that he was thrown under the bus a bit by ABC because he wouldn’t play along, but I also think that the way he treated not just Clare, but Nikki as accessories instead of women shows that his character is not great, and so I agree with Steve and appreciate how Steve sticks up for the women on this show. Dear Clare is just not “Cosmopolitan”, and therefore was naive to the show, but her trust is endearing and I always was a Clare fan. I wonder why Zack wasn’t discussed at all, not even as a reminder in summarizing the BIP experience? I’m guessing that was a condition to going on Steve’s podcast- Ok I will do it, but I won’t discuss getting dumped by Zack? I was curious how dramatic that really was versus editing. As in how they made it seem like Nick was really into Amanda to create more drama.

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