Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

Podcast #32 – Interview with DeAnna Stagliano & “Dr. Reality Steve”

For all you old school “Bachelor” fans out there, and hell, even new school ones, you are going to love Podcast #32 guest today, DeAnna Stagliano. We’ve had plenty of contestants on the podcast in the last 6 months who have shared some great stories from their seasons. Stories that you didn’t know about, ones that didn’t air, and even some behind-the-scenes secrets. But we’ve never had a former lead on the show (and not for lack of trying on my end). And not only is DeAnna a former lead, but before that she was involved in arguably the most controversial moment in show’s history, when Brad dumped both her and Jenni and the final rose ceremony. At the time, he was the most hated man in America. DeAnna recaps all her feelings from that day, which is interesting considering she was 99.9% sure Brad was picking her. Then on to her “Bachelorette” season which can be characterized as one of the weirdest ones ever, and DeAnna explains how and why she made the decisions that she did. Not to mention the aftermath and the torture of being engaged to Jesse Csincsak. You want honesty and candidness? DeAnna gives it to you and then some. As always, if you want to respond to today’s podcast, be sure to include DeAnna’s Twitter handle (@DeAnnaPappas) in your reply so she can see it as well. Hope you all enjoy today’s podcast.

You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts, RSS, Stitcher, Spotify
Music written by Jimmer Podrasky
(B’Jingo Songs/Machia Music/Bug Music BMI)

(SPOILERS) DeAnna joins me to talk about the one other time we’ve spoken, how she got cast on the “Bachelor” & more about that season (2:58), going into the final rose ceremony convinced Brad was going to pick her & what Brad told her (14:23), did Brad ask for her dad to be flown out then not propose (20:36), Brad still contacting her after that season (23:53), how she had no clue she was being announced as next “Bachelorette” on “Ellen” (27:18), knowing who her final 4 were on the first night of filming and never deviating from it (32:05), what caused her mini meltdown mid season (37:20), Graham leaving at final 4 screwing everything up (39:24), why she ended up picking Jesse over Jason (45:28), the disaster that was Jesse Csincsak and their post show engagement (47:00), how much she got paid to be “Bachelorette,” how she met her current husband Stephen, & life as a mom with two kids (55:32), and finally end with Rapid 10 (1:05:44).

Facebook – DeAnna Stagliano
Twitter – @DeAnnaPappas
Instagram – DeAnnaStag

Dr. Reality Steve emails on Page 2…

Page 1 of 212


  1. rob22

    June 29, 2017 at 11:02 AM

    To the woman that’s moving: when you move, it’s exciting. New job, new friends, new opportunities and possibly a rare opportunity to start over. Even with a boyfriend, unless you have some kind of agreement towards marriage, it doesn’t make sense to me to drag that relationship across the country mentally. It just means you won’t really be starting over, you won’t really have unlimited possibilities and you really have just shut down the opportunity for new things to appear. A guy you’ve dated once? Please. For the 1 in 10,000 chance that some day it might be something?

    Look, this is fear talking. Part of exciting changes is the fear of the unknown. The temptation is to hang on to something familiar or lacking that, grab on to a security blanket. And let’s face it, this guy isn’t really even familiar or an appropriate security blanket. Please. No. Let it go and enjoy the adventure. I think you already know this, but you need to pull the trigger and move on. This guy makes no sense for you right now & you need to call it what it is.

  2. rob22

    June 29, 2017 at 11:13 AM

    I have to disagree with RS on paying vs going dutch. Certainly in my day, and RS’s day, the guy asked a girl out and he paid. If he didn’t, he was a douche. These days things are more ambiguous. Some women prefer to go dutch. Some still believe the guy should pay. I see the ambiguousness all the time with my sons and their dating habits and the habits of the women they date. This leaves the guy in a bit of a spot. Do I pay and maybe insult someone that thinks it’s outdated to pay for her, or do I go dutch and maybe insult someone more traditional? It leads to some awkwardness, so I think you need to be prepared to roll either way & be aware that the guy may not have a clue what he’s supposed to do. Either that, or discuss it ahead of times and set expectations in advance. I personally vote for roll with it & discuss your preferences if you decide to date a guy more than once or twice. It may take a little getting used to, but in the end, I think flexibility is the way to go. There’s almost no way for you to get into a discussion about this on a first date without coming across as demanding, high maintenance, or perhaps worse. If you don’t mind alienating half your first dates, then feel free to ignore my advice.

  3. lucyw4

    June 29, 2017 at 1:06 PM

    OMFG…the most annoying podcast ever…I skipped a few lately, I’ll admit, so I don’t know if this is a new thing, but I will most definitely be out if Steve doesn’t stop the awkward, lengthy, dumba$$ commercials right smack in the middle of someone’s

    I haven’t even finished listening, but I had to quit after the 5 minute food service/ stuffed chicken breast shout-out to comment!

    (DeAnna’s great…it’s the only reason I’m continuing on with this crap right now)

  4. janela

    June 29, 2017 at 1:49 PM

    lucyw4 Have you listened to other podcasts besides Reality Steve’s? Every long term successful podcast has advertisers/promotions. This is how the person/people creating, hosting and producing the podcast make a living. Their time is worth something and you are getting the podcast for free. If you don’t like listening to the adverts just fast forward through them. I don’t like them either but you have to realize you are getting an interview with someone you might never hear otherwise, it’s free content as they say. It’s a business and a job for the podcaster and they deserve to be able to make money for their time (which is more than just the hour they put in during the interview).

  5. rob22

    June 29, 2017 at 2:08 PM

    I have to say that I lifted my boycott to listen to this podcast. I mean Deanna was one of the F2 during the Brad picked nobody show AND was the Bachelorette. So yeah, there’s a lot more of interest to this podcast than most of the others. It was worth it, even though it was too long & I had to cut it short when she started talking about her current life (honestly I don’t care, sorry)… and the commercials…. yeah, annoying, although I do realize RS has a right to make a buck. So, that said, I’d say this one was the first one that I have to say was an A+ in terms of interesting topics for someone who watches the show. I think most of the contestants have a micro view of the season, basically only what they personally saw… while the lead has the full view including all the contestants during all of the dates, everything behind the scenes and what the Producers are pushing for. RS needs to get more leads on his podcast, definitely.

  6. LM111

    June 29, 2017 at 4:48 PM

    Re: paying vs going dutch

    I agree with Reality Steve on this one. About 5 years ago, I accepted a date with a guy that I was on the fence about (he seemed like a really nice guy, but I was only mildly attracted to him. Knowing that personality can make a real difference in a person’s attractiveness, I gave him a chance and agreed to dinner). He picked the restaurant (a new hot spot where we live in L.A, and very expensive). The food wasn’t great, and when the bill arrived, he said “we can split it”. My part came to $80. I paid my share and didn’t go out with him again (though he asked repeatedly and was genuinely confused when I turned him down). My feeling is – if you expect me to pay half, then at least let me, the woman, pick the restaurant! I’d rather pay $80 at a nice steakhouse and enjoy a good meal than pay for a meal that I don’t enjoy. Years later, I ran into him and he told me that I was “the one that got away”. All I could think was “of course you’re still single, dude. Women aren’t exactly swooning over guys that are just “ok looking” and ask you to split the bill”.

    Since then, no one has ever asked me to go dutch. I guess he was just an outlier.

  7. leighleighleigh

    June 30, 2017 at 1:49 AM

    I LOVED this podcast. Deanna was well-spoken, engaging, likable, honest, and totally DGAF, which is refreshing. Steve, I think you dropped the ball, though. When Deanna said that Graham didn’t want to propose but he never asked to go home, I sat up in my car and said “whattt?!?” to my radio (err – to your podcast playing via Bluetooth through my radio’s speakers). Had that ever been made public before? I was surprised you didn’t ask follow-up questions.

  8. tinyred500

    June 30, 2017 at 10:23 AM


    I totally agree with you as to why RS doesn’t query guests on his podcasts more. Especially when stuff mentioned (by his guests) has been previously contradicted by other contestants, or there’s been a live or taped broadcast that gives another version of what was said or done. It just appears RS takes a lot for face value, which is weirder as he’s seen all the seasons etc., so should know a lot about what was said or done.

  9. jas18

    June 30, 2017 at 12:26 PM

    I can’t believe you didn’t ask if she watched Brad 2.0, would love to know what she thought of it if she did watch it.

  10. rob22

    June 30, 2017 at 12:33 PM

    I think RS has his questions pre-prepared and really doesn’t do much cross-examination, especially when he gets an unexpected answer (I think most of the answers he know in advance). It’s definitely a talent to follow up. Most on air personalities aren’t that good at it either, so they have producers in their ear feeding them follow up questions. Obviously RS doesn’t have that.

  11. lucyw4

    July 1, 2017 at 5:44 AM

    janela…yes, I am aware…it’s still extremely annoying & incredibly disruptive to the flow…(and more than enough to make me join rob22’s boycott).
    Ideally commercials should run at the beginning or end.
    As for DeAnna…awesome revealing interview!I’m glad she explained her reason for sending Jeremy home…I did NOT understand that at the time. He would’ve been my final pick.
    I wanted Steve to ask her why she allowed Jason to humiliate himself by getting on bended knee since she thought so highly of him, but I actually YouTubed it, and it didn’t seem so bad on her part after all…he kinda just did it, without warning.

    One last thing…I like the photo Steve posts of the podcast guest…it’s always very flattering…well except for Tenley’s stepford stare, of course.

  12. katieottawa

    July 1, 2017 at 6:11 AM

    probably the most interesting podcast guest i think so far and i would think the most candid. Wasnt on to sell or plug her blog or business or whatever else. And as the lead you get firsthand answers as to why she came to the decisions she did especially since i remember her season being the one I went WTF with her ultimate choices when it was clear that it was between jeremy (who i liked the best) and graham but picked jesse.

    On the side note also back in the day when reality steve’s column were FUNNY as hell. Way funnier back then before the spoilers sort of a bit tainted his sarcastic recaps. If you are new I suggest going back to read his recap of her season, he was vicious back then and didnt spare making fun of those guys especially the chef with his pink polo shirt with the popped collar. Classic reality steve.

  13. dtandie

    July 2, 2017 at 7:44 AM

    Great question!

  14. instigator911

    July 2, 2017 at 1:46 PM

    I enjoyed listening to the Deanna podcast — not so much because I give a sh*t about any of these people, but because I like to hear how heartless and manipulative the show is (which we already know).

    When she waxed on about how much she loves her kids — which is nice, don’t get me wrong — I had to do an eyeroll. I have a friend just like this and I always sit there dead faced when she gets like this because we all feel this way and it’s not a competition and I feel that If I don’t wax on similarly, somehow I don’t love my kids as much? Regardless, maybe it’s just me, but that kind of effusive proclamation makes me feel weird.

  15. braveo900

    July 3, 2017 at 2:07 AM

    “My problem is what if he wants to take to go to a nice restaurant and I want to make sure I can afford it, but I do want to go on a date with him, but I can’t afford the fancy restaurant. What do I do then?”

    So he wouldn’t want to take you out on a date if it’s not to a fancy restaurant? That is the only way you could date him? And every man you’ve met is like this?

    I doubt that, and honestly, it just sounds like you’re making excuses. Be straightforward and tell him that you’d like to go on a date with him but you can’t afford a fancy dinner right now. He will either suggest a different place, ask you where you want to go, or offer to pay for you, at which point you can accept. Also, if you expect him to drive you there, drive you home, deal with parking/parking fees, make the reservations, AND pay, doesn’t it make sense that he should have more of a say in where you go?

    And what happens if you’re dating and he loses his job? Will you then pay for every date while he is unemployed, since he can’t afford it?

    To LM111: I can’t understand your logic. Would you have paid for his meal if you had gone to the steakhouse and he didn’t like the food there?

    Personally, I go into every date thinking I will pay for my meal, whether it’s a 1st date or 100th. Not because I feel insulted when a man pays for me, but because dating is a 2-way street. Maybe your definition of a 2-way street includes certain financial expectations about what a man should do simply because he’s a man. Well, it’s better to admit that than to spew out excuse after excuse like I’ve seen here.

  16. LM111

    July 3, 2017 at 2:50 PM


    No, I wouldn’t “pay for him if he didn’t like the steakhouse”. Why? Because I’m not his pal. I’m a woman he’s pursuing romantically. That’s the difference. Like you, I’m always “prepared” to pay for myself when I go on a date (which is exactly what I did in that situation) but he’s going straight to the friend zone. I split meals with my friends, coworkers, family, but not suitors. As for not liking the food – it was just the icing on the cake. If a man isn’t going to pay for the meal, then at the very least, he should be chivalrous enough to let the woman choose the restaurant! Good lord. It’s like that guy couldn’t be a gentleman on any level.

    Obviously, you’re entitled to a different opinion. This is mine, and I don’t feel the slightest bit bad about it. Maybe it’s partly due to the way my generation was raised. I’m 42. Might be different if I were dating millennials, but I’m not. Thank God.

  17. ladyjane747

    July 4, 2017 at 9:11 AM

    I may be old AF but when a guy asks you on a date, he should pay for the meal or the movie or whatever the date is. As a woman, etiquette dictates that you don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu or dessert or even a drink, unless he does (and that goes for anyone who buys you a meal, not just a “date”). If after the first date, the woman wants to invite him out or have him over for dinner, she should pay. If the dating continues and it becomes back-and-forth discussions about where to go and what to do, then it should be dutch, unless one or the other insists on paying and if that’s the case, the other one should do things like pick up movie tickets or bring a dessert or bottle of wine. But for that first date – the guy pays.

  18. tiffann

    July 4, 2017 at 10:04 AM

    I’m a millennial and the guys my age pay and generally pay for my friend’s as well.

  19. instachan

    July 11, 2017 at 12:21 AM

    Loved this one. I remember adoring her back in the day but she felt kind of irrelevant but I honestly had to go find her on Instagram after the podcast because she was refreshingly genuine and a great interviewee! Also, super interesting to hear about Graham! You should have him on, tell Michelle Moneh to pursuade him!

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