Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

Podcast #43 – Interview with Desiree Siegfried (Part 2), “Dr. Reality Steve,” & (EXCLUSIVE) Who is Ben Higgins Currently Seeing?

Part 2 of my interview with Desiree Siegfried is now up for your enjoyment. Last week we spent most of the time covering her appearance on Sean’s season and then her season right up until all hell broke loose with Brooks leaving, and that’s exactly where we pick up. She definitely has a lot to say in regards to how her season compares to Rachel’s, her brother’s post-show comments, if she feels shunned by the franchise, what she thought of the wrong spoiler I had all season, and then the $1 million question of why she and Chris are the only married couple from the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette” franchise who didn’t get a paid televised wedding. That and much more coming on today’s podcast that I hope you’ll rate, subscribe, and review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate Des’ honesty in all this as even I was actually surprised by some of the answers she gave. So check it out and as always, if you want to respond to the interview, please include Des’ Twitter handle (@DesHartsock) in your replies so she sees them as well. Still don’t know if Kenny King will be next week’s guest or we’ll have to bump him for another week. I will let you know next Tuesday or Wednesday. But enjoy Des today and let me know what you think…

You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts, RSS, Stitcher, Spotify
Music written by Jimmer Podrasky
(B’Jingo Songs/Machia Music/Bug Music BMI)

(SPOILERS) Part 2 of Desiree’s interview starts off with her explaining how it was possible to be distraught after Brooks left then propose to Chris days later, also discusses the safe house visits she had with Chris while the season was airing (7:33), how her and Rachel faced the same criticism from the media (9:43), her brother’s comments post-show (12:31), how she felt about me having the wrong spoiler her whole season (17:00), was she upset at how the show was edited & how it focused more on Brooks and less on her relationship with Chris (24:03), we get to the $1 million question everyone has always wanted to know: why didn’t ABC televise their wedding? (30:35), her relationship with Chris post-show (35:17), their 10 month old son Asher (40:20), what she’s doing for work now (43:07), and finally end with the Rapid 10 (46:16).

Facebook – Desiree Siegfried
Twitter – @DesHartsock
Instagram – desireesiegfried
Amazon Book: My Fairytale Wedding: Planning Your Dream Wedding Without Breaking the Bank

Some information was brought to my attention last week before I left for Vegas, but I didn’t think much of it until the Robby/Amanda thing played out the way it did after Monday night’s finale, the pictures of Robby with a girl named Lindsey Duke were released, and things became a bit clearer. You don’t need to know how that all came about because I’m sure you’re just interested in hearing what news I have. And I’ll tell you: Ben Higgins is currently seeing/dating/hooking up (however you want to call it) with: Lindsey Duke. He was seen Labor Day night at Sloan’s Lake Tap and Burger bartending for an event that helped Hurricane Harvey victims. It’s on his IG if you need confirmation. Well, witnesses there told me he left with Lindsey Duke that night. I’ve seen pictures of them together there. Unfortunately for reasons I can’t get into right now, I can’t share them. The bar was a bit dark, it’s kinda hard to make out, but trust me, it’s them. In addition, Ben was recently spotted at breakfast with Lindsey Duke. So it may not mean anything to you and I’m guessing fans of Ben will refuse to believe he’s with this girl but, well, he is. Don’t know what else to tell ya’. Will it last? Will they get married? Is this his one true love now that Lauren is out of the picture and has moved on? Probably not. I’m just reporting what is currently happening, and that’s that they are definitely spending time with each other.

As for Lindsey Duke, lets lay out her resume shall we? If you go back 3 years on her IG (linds_duke) you can see she attended UCF and was Blake Bortles’ ex-girlfriend. Blake, now quarterback for the Jacksonville Jaguars, attended UCF and was actually good back in the day. She’s since moved to Denver where, as we know back on July 29th at the Zac Brown Band concert at Coors Field, she let Robby Hayes be all over her while he was still dating Amanda. Not to mention, Robby and Lindsey had a past together while they both lived in Florida. Robby knew Lindsey before anything happened in Colorado as reports are they’d hooked up in the past. I can FURTHER report now that two weeks previous to Robby and Lindsey’s fling at the concert together, none other than Jef Holm also hooked up with Lindsey as well in Colorado. Seems like a real catch. And now Ben is currently seeing her. Maybe Ben knows her recent past with Robby & Jef, maybe he doesn’t. I don’t know. But it’s out there now and they absolutely left Sloan’s Lake Tap & Burger last Monday night together. I’m sure other outlets are going to begin reporting this as early as today, so I just thought you should know. Lets see if they give credit where it was posted first. My guess? They won’t. But one can dream. As we know, Ben has a weekly podcast with Ashley I., so once other outlets start reporting this, I’m guessing he’ll be forced to address it. I’m curious to see if he denies it. If he does, he’s lying. Or maybe he’ll downplay it to say they’re just talking and he enjoys her company, and they’re actually just spending time talking and figuring out ways to improve the environment or whatever. Just know that something is going on between them, they’ve been seen together on multiple occasions now and, well, she seems to have a thing for Bachelor guys. That’s three in a row. Like I said – quite the catch. Bachelor Nation, discuss!

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  1. rob22

    September 14, 2017 at 2:15 PM

    So, these were really vanilla Dr. Reality Steve questions. Two of them were in the variety of “He’s not that into you”. So ladies, here’s the deal. Instead of meeting someone and having all these high expectations, why not let it come to you a bit. As has been said millions of times, guys will say all kinds of things to you to keep you interested. Why? Probably because they are interested enough to have sex with you, but that’s about it. But whatever the reason, that’s the MOST they are interested in you, unless they follow up, continue to show interest, and meet up with you at least 1-2X/week. That’s a minimum. I would expect that if things were progressing, you’d see the meet ups increase beyond that after a few weeks. BTW: it’s perfectly OK to give him signs that you’re interested without throwing yourself at his feet and begging. He does need to know you’re interested or that might effect his level of interest. But again, showing interest in meeting up, answering his texts, etc. is all that’s necessary here. That’s all you need to invest until you see where it’s headed. You don’t need to be picking out curtains for your first house together at this point.

    So…. take each relationship for what it is. Don’t have big expectations until you see the behavior match up with the words. Words mean nothing. Nothing. Actions mean everything. If they blow you off for days, cancel get togethers more than once in the beginning of the relationship, and you never quite get together…. then you know what you have. You might as well not get all bent out of shape over it, or it effects YOU negatively. It effects him, not at all. So for your own sake, if you see these signs, move on. It’s not personal in that this is more about the guy than it is about you. The more time you spend being upset about some douchey guy that blew you off, the better the chance that you’ll miss an opportunity with someone else. Letting go of things is a sign of maturity, btw. So, work on that first. You’ll be very happy with the results.

  2. nursej

    September 14, 2017 at 5:47 PM

    This is a general statement and does not pertain to any posts this week.

    Rob22 – you always provide the best straightforward, logical responses that women need to hear when it comes to men and relationships! Please continue to comment. I always enjoy your perspective.
    Ladies, in terms of laying the relationship’s foundation, you should not have to work harder than him. It will be a mutual effort if it has any chance of being worthwhile and long-term.
    Work on you (health, education, employment, friendships, hobbies, etc.). Create some self-worth, believe in yourself, and exude confidence. Don’t let your life be all about the relationship with your bf/gf/spouse. Engage in your own interests/activities and create a life you can live without them. Having someone special in your life will be a bonus. Of course there will be ups and downs, but overall it will compliment you, not overwhelm you with chronic sadness and grief.

  3. shenanigans

    September 14, 2017 at 6:03 PM

    If a man wants you, he will let you know about it. You will not have to wonder, worry, agonize, or make excuses for him. You will also not have to compete with anyone else.

    If that’s not the case, he’s not the one. And, you shouldn’t invest in him until and unless he invests in you.

    I don’t know why that is so hard for many women to understand.

  4. katieottawa

    September 14, 2017 at 9:39 PM

    to the girl who was dating the total flake. I was in that position years ago. A coworker i really liked we dated a bit for a few weeks and then all of a sudden he started canceling our dates last minute. He had to go visit his sister, his friend would just show up in town. He would always say we would reschedule it and then he would leave me with vague plans. I was the idiot who liked him and kept putting up with it. Anyways he did this over an over again and it became less and less frequen when he wouldnt cancel. Most time he would call me and cancel 1-3 hours before our date with another stupid excuse.

    Fast forward 7 years later we got linked on facebook somehow and he messaged me to get together. I figured maybe he had changed his ways. Nope. Again vague plans and up until 2 hours before the date he hadnt even contacted me to tell me when, where or what time. Finally an hour before meeting up he calls me to tell me we are on. I was shocked. We met up and come to realize he was suffering from major anxiety and even suffered a panic attack at the table in front of me. We cut it short and he said he would call me again to meet up at some time. I never heard back from him.

    Moral of the story some people have some major mental issues. If a guy flakes on you continuously dont bother with him. He is basically doing YOU a favor in showing you this very inconsiderate and unreliable behavior. Most likely it has everything to do with him and little to do with you. Even down the road he will STILL act the same way I guarantee you a leopard doesnt change his spots.

  5. katieottawa

    September 14, 2017 at 10:01 PM

    Only looik at a guys actions. dont even listen to anything he says it means S**t. And when he comes up with some stupid excuse after then just tell him to get lost. If he cant be bothered to make the effort in the beginning to call,text,see you when he says he will he doesnt care enough and is just wasting your time. Nothing worthwhile will come out of guys like that. Dont think if you are patient and understanding he will eventually see you as a great person and he will change his ways about you. He wont. He will see you as someone who is willing to accept the lowest possible standard and therefore will never gain any more respect for you.

    If the guy REALLY is serious about you there wont be games, his words and actions will reflect each other, he will let you know as to not risk losing you to another guy. Anything less is byebye and dont waste your time.

  6. katieottawa

    September 15, 2017 at 12:49 AM

    I read the dr realitysteve and in reality most of it is pretty much common sense. It is always some variation of this guy i met we met up and texted for a while and now i seem to hear less and less from him. why is that??

    women would prefer to make excuses than admit to themselves the truth and the reality that he just isnt all that interested or no longer interested. There is always this overanalysing over WHY he no longer isnt interested. Seriously who cares what his reason is?? thats not the point. The point is he doesnt care enough so why would you waste your time lowering your standards and yourself to be with a guy who for god knows what reason doesnt really want to be with you and who will most likely treat you like crap,string you along and disappoint you??

    women need to understand that it is way better to be with no one than being with some player that just plays games and uses them when it suits him while putting the least amount of effort. If a guy takes more than a few hours to even text you back sorry but you need to cut him loose. If he is fine with making you wait longer than a day to take 10seconds to respond to you than you need to just ignore him from then on. A guy who likes you will WANT to talk to you, and will respond to you in a timely manner, anything less is just games and not worth your time. Tell these douchebags to get lost, stay single and be available to meet someone who is worthwhile. A lot of the times these guys are playing with girls heads where they arent in the proper headspace to give a decent guy a chance when they are busy and stressed dealing and overanalysing these douchebags BS

    Look at the successful couples the guys were always SURE of who they were into and PURSUED the girl. Seriously the girls didnt have to do much. Tanner wanted Jade, Evan wanted Carly. Derek looks to be serious about Taylor. Bryan with rachel, he made sure to tell Rachel how he felt at all times and where she stood with him. THAT is what you want in someone. Not someone who is wishy washy where things just remain vague or noncommittal.

  7. kygirl13

    September 15, 2017 at 5:35 AM

    Ben H, I am so disappointed 🙁

  8. jlal

    September 15, 2017 at 10:48 AM

    I have a concern with the gossip on the SM sites being repeated like it is gospel. RS, you claim this Lindsey “hooked up” with Jef, you also called the concert date a “fling”, both terms implying a sexual relationship; that is what I take issue with. Then you further the salacious tone by sarcastically saying she “seems like a real catch”. RS, I realize you’re a guy, so that may be why you automatically assume every encounter involves sex, but newsflash not all do. She and Robby had a history together, so could have just been affectionate with one another at the concert. I don’t know the details of how she “hooked up” with Jef, but from the facts or lack thereof your other comments are based on, I’m almost sure it doesn’t involved proof they had sex. And, she and Ben could have left together, but not had sex either. When I was younger, single and having fun I went out with, hung out with, dated, and flirted with many, many guys I didn’t have sex with. I even went home with or had guys stay over, usually due to too much drinking, that I didn’t have sex with. You’re not only disparaging the guys reputations, but with the known double standard, you’re really hurting Lindsey’s. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know the girl, she could be the biggest slut in the world. What I do know is jumping to the conclusions you frequently do and then becoming so judgmental based on little or no facts is wrong. Also, it makes you no better than the people you’re judging. One more thing, for the love of Christ you’re a professional writer or supposed to be, use the proper pronouns please.

  9. jlal

    September 15, 2017 at 10:58 AM

    Also, as everyone else is saying and I have before on this site and in life – Ladies, talk is cheap, cheap, cheap, pay attention to his actions not his words. A lesson I learn the hard way, fortunately many, many years ago. Keeping that in mind, saved me much heartache later on.

    One more thing ladies –
    When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.
    Maya Angelou

  10. qtontv

    September 16, 2017 at 2:14 PM

    Pretty weird gossip about Ben H & the f-boys. Why must they be so incestuous?? There are thousands of girls that look just like her, heck I couldn’t even tell which among her spray tanned & bleach blonde friends was her.

  11. rob22

    September 18, 2017 at 9:03 AM

    I will take issue with one thing that was said on this thread. I think women have way too big of an expectation of instant/near instant responses via Text and social media. Expecting a guy to be available whenever you send a text is not only unrealistic, it’s oppressive. Guys should be able to work, go out with friends, have lunch, travel, etc. without being expected to respond to your texts (and your demands for instant responses). Guys HATE that. I know this goes way against the grain in this instant gratification world we’re in. But chill out. If you don’t hear back from the guy until the next day, it isn’t grounds for capital punishment. Give the guy some slack. They’ll love you for it, btw. Women hate when guys are flaky… Guys hate when women are up in their grille 24X7. Find a happy medium & enjoy each other. The time you spend together is very important. The other stuff…. honestly, get a grip. It’s not exactly important stuff that’s texted back and forth.

  12. ctrealitygirl

    September 18, 2017 at 1:55 PM

    I was going to write in the exact same comment “qtontv” !! I don’t get why all these former bachelor/ette contestants have to date in the same small pool of bachelor rejects and “groupies”…geeesh! How gross passing girls around like hors d’oeuvres!

  13. dogmomma

    September 18, 2017 at 2:56 PM

    rob22…I agree about the texting response time. Sometimes people are busy and don’t want to get into a text conversation going back and forth. Sometimes their phone isn’t right there with them when a text comes in. Sometimes people can’t text at work. Sometimes people are watching something on TV and don’t want to text during the show. It can go on and on…. Now if they don’t answer for days, then maybe something is up. But to say that they need to answer right away is just not practical.

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