RealitySteve,
You come across as incredibly insecure. The way you relish tearing other men down is pathetic. I suppose it allows you to feel superior, but you’re not. Actually you seem quite vile.
Comment: Cool. Thanks. Appreciate the support. Keep reading.
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Since your going to be painfully watching this episode waiting for the good stuff at the end I thought I might help you pass the time with this kind of dumb question which is not intended for your weekly reader emails but you can put it on if you want. Based on your age I assume that you recall the TV series Growing pains from the late 80’s/early 90’s. I would then assume that you remember Mike Seavers best friend on the show was Richard Stabone, and his nickname was “Boner”. (I’m sure you know where this is going.) My question is, as a child or teenager growing up and having the last name of Carbone, were you lucky enough to get a boner related nickname? And if so did you embrace it or hate it.
Thanks.
Comment: Absolutely. My nickname starting in 5th grade was “Boner” and it came directly from the character on “Growing Pains.” I was fine with it actually. Since I liked the show I thought it was kinda funny. And oh yeah, chicks totally dug it.
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Steve,
If you receive info about Arie cheating on Lauren B while they are a couple, can you share that in your column?
Comment: Sure.
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Hi Steve,
Long-time lurker over here, and finally had to send in some questions for reader emails! I first found your site during Brad’s #2 season. Okay, so I’m dying to know….
1. What were the ratings for Monday night’s episode? They had to have been through the roof. Everyone on social media has been going NUTS for this finale. 7.8 million and a 2.2 rating. In any of the previous 10 episodes this season, the best they ever did was 6.5 million and a 1.8 rating. So in that aspect, it did very well. However, compared to other Bachelor finales? Still down. Chris’ finale drew 9.5 million. Ben’s finale and ATFR drew 9.5 million. Nick’s drew 8.5 million. Of course, ABC won’t mention that part.
2. Why do you think Lauren took Arie back? Lack of self-confidence, lack of brains, or something else? I think she’s kinda lost to be honest. My sense is she so badly wanted it to work between them, she’s willing to overlook all of this just to be with him. Which is great in the short term. But she has her blinders on and this will end up hurting them in the end.
3. I didn’t watch that closely, but did Becca leave her ring on the nightstand and then Arie took it? If the couple breaks off the engagement, do they have to give Neil Lane the ring back? No, I put the video in the column yesterday. Adam tweeted it out. She took it off while Arie was talking to her.
Last but not least I want to say I am a huge Challenge fan and love the podcasts you’ve done with those castmates. I am also with you that Las Vegas is amazing – my husband and I go there every year around Labor Day since he does high-stakes fantasy football leagues. Something you should try in the near future! 🙂
Comment: I’m there for the first weekend of NFL season every year, which is always the weekend after Labor Day. Done it 21 out of the last 23 years. Tradition. However, I’d never enter high stakes fantasy football. Just not my thing.
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Hi Steve, totally not related to bachelor land but I’ve seen you answer some reader emails about other shows as well. I remember reading I think a while ago you were a 90210 fan (OG obviously not the CW reboot) and I’m curious what you thought or think of Melrose Place? All of the episodes are on Hulu and I’m curious about it, never watched it as a kid like I did 90210. Since you seem to have good taste in tv (FNL) I’m wondering what you thought of Melrose Place; and if you never watched it, why you didn’t since you liked 90210? From what I’ve heard over the years MP was pretty ridiculous and out there (more so than 90210) but sometimes that be be fun tv to watch. Just curious your thoughts on MP. Thanks!
Comment: Watched every episode. Loved it. Their storylines were a little more mature and a lot farther out there than BH90210, but it was still enjoyable. And for a mid 90’s drama, it had everything you needed.
Although it wasn’t close to the original in terms of likability, I also watched every episode of the 90210 reboot on CW.
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This isn’t a question, really, more of a comment. The worst was when he said “I know you’re embarrassed.” That is just basking in his own power in the situation. SHE has nothing to be embarrassed about. The only person who should be embarrassed is him. The only reason she is having to cope with this pain so publicly is because of him choosing to make her confront it on camera. I am so weary of women being told they should be embarrassed because some piece of sh**t treated them poorly. Even his lingering after she told him to leave was so transparently about getting more TV–he was like the producer in the limo who has the mission of getting the “crying” shot. You’re usually right but I don’t know if you’ve ever been THIS right, even from before the season started filming. He is trash. She is a class act who would have been entitled to react far less gracefully than she did. She has nothing to be embarrassed about.
Comment: Well yes, he should be embarrassed about how he handled himself, but nobody wants to see their breakup happen in front of 7 million people either. And when you thought you were having a private meet up and all the sudden cameras are in your face. I think that’s what he was referring to.
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Hey Steve!
Whoa. That was painful to watch. True to Chris Harrison’s tagline, that was definitely one of the most dramatic endings in the history of The Bachelor…ever! And you were right about the whole dang thing!
I’ve been following your posts, so I knew most of what tonight’s episode would entail. But while I watched, I couldn’t help but wonder: did the producers set up this whole thing? Like did Arie know, prior to the final rose ceremony, that Lauren was actually the woman he wanted to choose? But because the producers had heard many viewers thought Arie and this season “boring,” and were worried about ratings/pleasing viewers, did they talk Arie into proposing to Becca/staying with her long enough to make it seem real? Did they pay him to do all this? Do you think Lauren knew too? No, this wasn’t a set up.
AND, when Arie was breaking off his engagement with Becca, why the heck didn’t he just leave?!? Do you think he got paid the longer he stuck around? And why didn’t Becca react more strongly and tell him to get the heck out?!? Do you think she was in on it/got paid as well?
This whole thing is NUTS.
Thanks Steve,
Comment: I’ll just say to everything in this post – no. I know everyone wants to believe a conspiracy theory and they’re all in on it, but that’s not what happened.
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Steve,
I was listening to the Afterbuzz TV Bachelor after show and one of the hosts was saying that an “inside source” told her that Krystal and Arie slept together on the show. Have you heard this/can you confirm?
Comment: That did not happen.
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People are speculating that Claire got Becca’s ring because they look the same… any idea if there could be any truth to this theory?
Comment: Don’t know since I haven’t seen both rings up close.
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Thank God Arie did what he did……otherwise we could be facing Bachelorette Lauren B, (aka “Bachelorette Wow.”) the most uninteresting, un-animated female we’ve ever had on the show. Shes like an attractive, blond-haired sack of rocks. Who is her dad, Steven Wright?
Lauren, thrilled: “Wow.”
Lauren, really depressed: “Wow.”
Lauren, startled: “Wow.”
My iguana would make a more compelling contestant. Swear to God, the woman has the personality of a dead tree branch. If she’s this devoid of expression already, I can only imagine what she’ll look like in 20 years when she has to start Botox injections. She’ll look like an escapee from Madam Tussaud’s.
I guess Arie wants a trophy wife (assuming, of couse, he even WANTS a wife.) Who knows? Maybe she’s great in bed.
Lauren, at the peak of orgasm: “Wow.”
Comment: Please, tell me what you really think of Lauren.
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Hi Steve,
It doesn’t matter at this point, but I think Arie would have chosen Lauren if her date had been last instead of Becca. He seems so lame, that he just went with the girl he saw last. It could be as simple as that, yes. He’s that much of a numb nut.
Also, do you think he would have flip-flopped if it were the other way around? If he chose Lauren, do you think he would have mulled over Becca the same way? I think he would have only because it seems to fit his MO.
Again, it doesn’t matter, but I am curious as to your thoughts?
Thanks for all you do!
Comment: I think he would have, yes. Even Seinne thinks so. Heard she said it on Ashley and Ben’s podcast. And she’s a girl who was there, lived with all the girls, had 1-on-1 dates with Arie, etc.
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Hi Steve,
I love your podcasts, tweets, and recaps.
You mentioned during your podcast with Arie’s ex (Sydney I believe?) that he contacted her after filming and spoke with her on the phone. You mentioned that you thought it was so that she wouldn’t speak bad about him to the press.
Do you still believe that? With everything that happened I’m wondering if he wasn’t just wavering between Becca and Lauren but if he was wavering between Becca, Lauren, and Sydney. Heck with this guy he’s probably even still reaching out to Courtney Robertson. Sydney never mentioned anything about him wanting her back. But he did call her. She would’ve said if it was to win her back. And you’ll be hearing from Courtney tomorrow on the podcast.
What are your thoughts about the Sydney situation now that we’ve seen how everything played out? Do you still think the only reason he contacted Sydney was for press purposes?
Comment: Yes. Well, that and the fact that it’s physically impossible for this guy not to contact numerous former exes since he got home.
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I read your posts and listen to your podcasts every week. I am a huge fan. But really I just wanted to send you an email to say thanks for how well your columns are written and having good grammar. I appreciate it.
Steve gets an A+ in English.
Comment: Well thank you. I try my best. I know I make mistakes here and there, but for as many words as I type a column, I think I have very few grammatical mistakes. Eye hop u ceep reeding. Mye spelyng iz egcellent.
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I’m sure you’ll be full of emails, but did anyone else find it hilarious that Arie said he “Wanted to do this in person”??? I guess, as opposed to the people who break up an engagement via….text? Email? Snapchat? I dunno.
He clearly wanted her to validate his feelings and tell him it’s okay… really showed his privileged, rich-kid upbringing.
I mean I’ll still – for her sake – hope they work out. But I don’t understand how anyone could have thought, and especially could continue to think that he’s a catch. She can do better.
All over the place this email, but other people have commented about how attractive or not they think the final two girls are. I really thought that Lauren was out and out drop dead gourgeous, but when I asked my friends and my boyfriend they all thought Becca was more attractive (their opinions ranged from a little to A LOT). Goes to show again and again how subjective attractiveness is.
Anyways, great work like usual, Steve, enjoy a little time off.
Comment: Very subjective. I find both girls attractive. He had a lot of good looking women this season for sure.
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Hey Steve,
I’ve been reading your site since Jason and Molly. I don’t even watch the shows anymore bc between podcasts and your page, I get all the scoop I want.
Today I was listening to Olivia’s podcast and she had Robby Hayes and James Taylor. At the very end, James claimed you blackmailed him to get him on your podcast bc of some letter. Are you able to clarify, if not just to me, or in this week’s emails? I listened to him on your podcast and I don’t recall anything juicy. He mentioned lawsuit, etc. I don’t think he realizes you are friendly, if not cordial, with Olivia. But he’s also not of fan of the Bachelor people.
Anyway, just a heads up. Keep on spoiling.
Thank you,
Comment: He’s an ass if he said that and couldn’t be more wrong. I have the receipts James. Every word I ever corresponded with you is in my Twitter DM still. There’s no blackmail whatsoever. I was going to post your email you wrote to all of Nick’s girls whether you came on the show or not. And I told you that. I thought your best bet would be to explain yourself, told you as much, and you couldn’t have been more excited to come on. It’s all there in the twitter exchange. Need I post that for everyone to see? Sad that that’s what he’s resorted to when I did nothing but give him a platform to explain himself. Lets hope he just pipes down from here.
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Hi Steve,
Congrats on another season of correct spoilers!
I’ve got to ask: was this really “the first uncut, unedited scene in reality TV history,” as Chris Harrison claimed? That seems very unlikely to me.
Comment: No. But definitely was the first one that went on for 30 minutes. 5 or 10 minutes would’ve been fine. Carrying on the way it did didn’t need to be done. Plenty of other networks have shown us continuous footage of something happening as a contestant storms off or whatever and it’s unedited. But that’s maybe a minute or two of footage. They certainly carried there’s out the longest for sure.
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Hi Steve,
Thanks so much for your commentary and spoiling this season – would not have made it through without you. I was in college when Arie was on Emily’s season and I always liked him. Obviously, couldn’t have been more wrong about him. To say I’ve enjoyed watching him flounder would be an understatement.
Something I noticed today: the dates on his DMs to Bekah are, I think, after he got back together with Lauren. They’re dated early February – isn’t that after he got back together with her? Honestly just another piece of evidence that the guy is a douche who will always have a wandering eye. His crazies can’t even say “he’s changed now that he’s with his true love” because clearly even after winning her back, he still felt the need to DM his ex for no apparent reason.
Thanks for what you do – can’t wait to keep reading!
Comment: Yes. He was back with Lauren from when he visited her in Virginia on Jan. 16th. The guy has a serious issue with contacting exes for God knows what reason. It’s bizarre. But hey, like I said, he’s Lauren’s problem now.
Don’t even bother with his crazies. They are seriously so delusional, nothing you say to them matters. Let them live in their own little dream world. They’re pathetic.

Susan
March 7, 2018 at 9:08 AM
If you haven’t seen the clip of Arie and Lauren on Kelly and Ryan today, check it out. Kelly laid into Arie, it was amazing. Why did you film it? Why couldn’t it have only been 5 minutes instead of 40? You could tell by the look on her face she was disgusted with him. Lauren just looked shell shocked, like she was about to cry. Arie kept fumbling over his words trying to explain himself.
I was just appalled that they thought it was appropriate for him to propose, with Becca in the next room. Then to say in People they’re wouldn’t mind a TV wedding. Yeah, don’t see that happening.
I’m just so glad the Arie S**t show is over and we can now start talking about Becca!
crushonspivey
March 7, 2018 at 9:20 AM
I can think of AT LEAST $250,000 reasons why Becca didn’t lay into production and took the new gig. Because she is now business partners with Fleiss and got into bed with him businesswise. So she had to go easy on how it went down. That is showbiz people.
The fact after all of these years that people still don;t see this for what it is–scripted TV–is hilarious. Did you all not learn anything from the show UNREAL? And honestly, not sure what thast show can do to top the real thing now, it has gotten so ridiculous.
RS–keep doing what you do and make good coin off this nonsense. Makes it more entertaining in the right way. The show itself is now dull and stale.
crushonspivey
March 7, 2018 at 9:23 AM
Also, Becca was engaged mere weeks ago, and got dumped on TV, and now we’re supposed to believe she is in a good place to actually pursue a new relationship? This show doesn’t even try to hide the farce anymore. Love is not its goal. Contrived TV drama is.
marcommom
March 7, 2018 at 9:25 AM
One thing I noticed – Lauren barely looked at the ring when he proposed and when they were with their families. That makes me think she’d already had it for a while.
akblondee
March 7, 2018 at 9:39 AM
I am so glad someone asked about Kendall crying on Bekah’s shoulder, I thought it was perplexing. SO glad this season is over and of course, kudos to Steve for spoiling it all for us. It’s what makes the show great for me.
tinyred500
March 7, 2018 at 10:32 AM
I agree with both of your comments. That’s why I now think the wider audience should now be able to see just how produced and yes, contrived this show really is…by what we’ve seen on our screens this season. The producers aren’t hiding their dirty work anymore. If they can get any stupid puppet to play along, throw money at them and give people air time, they are like pigs in mud. I was always very cynical of the show when I first started watching, but that’s all on another level now. It’s become an even more twisted show in so many ways.
It will be interesting to see whether the previous contestants who tweeted their displeasure (of how this season played out), will now have anything further to do with the franchise, or whether it will be forgiven and their tweets really meant little or nothing at all.
leighleighleigh
March 7, 2018 at 11:03 AM
AGREED! I said this to my husband last night. Lauren didn’t look at the ring, and neither did Arie’s mom or Lauren’s mom. There is zero chance that would have happened unless they’d all seen the ring before.
sarahe
March 7, 2018 at 11:39 AM
I was also perplexed by Lauren’s comment last night that Arie “couldn’t have handled things better.” Really? Even if I was blindly in love with someone, and I’ve been there, I feel that I would still have the ability to see that the way he handled this was so far from okay. It’s almost like she’s afraid to defy him in any way. But this shouldn’t surprise anyone because Arie seems like the type of guy who would be vastly insecure being with someone like Becca, who has a great job, exudes confidence, and doesn’t NEED him. I think the reason why he went running to Lauren is because she is the type of girl who will definitely be deferential to her man and make him feel like the more dominant force in the relationship. With Becca, he would have had more of a partner and teammate and less of a damsel in distress.
It’s sad that many men say they want someone strong willed, independent, and who has their stuff together, but don’t then ACTUALLY want those things. It’s not all men, but many.
shenanigans
March 7, 2018 at 12:05 PM
My conclusions from watching the finale: Arie and Lauren are selfish, insensitive, and totally oblivious to how they are perceived. If either of them had a brain in their head, they would have known that last night was not the time or place for a public proposal. This will NOT end well for her.
ladyjane747
March 7, 2018 at 1:03 PM
Still believe the filmed break-up occurred with everyone’s knowledge beforehand. It’s not a “conspiracy theory,” just an understanding of how scripted the show is, and it supports how easy it was for Becca to move on from broken engagement to Bachelorette. And yes, Caroline is annoying and probably auditioning for BIP. I think Becca will make a good lead, but I hope the quality of her guys is better than what was on display last night! Of course, we only know Lauren from what we saw on our TV screens, but we don’t “know” her. She’s obviously not great in front of a camera and doesn’t make for good TV and wouldn’t have been a good lead, but to attack her for being dumb, boring, submissive, etc. is a little overboard. We don’t know these people at all. They’re characters on a TV show. And I just have to comment about one person’s praise of Steve’s grammar. Really? At least I wish he could correct “lets” because he uses it a lot. It should have an apostrophe because let’s is a contraction for let us.
shenanigans
March 7, 2018 at 1:38 PM
Lady Jane, on Kelly & Ryan today, Lauren admitted that she didn’t watch the Becca breakup scenes, which means that she is basing her opinion on Arie’s word. To me, that explains a lot. She isn’t viewing this situation through a critical lens – she is simply making a leap of faith and believing in her man. That only ends well if the man is worthy of the trust you have placed in him. Based on Arie’s track record, it is naive and short-sighted for Lauren to take this approach. This will not end well for her.
LynnS
March 7, 2018 at 2:22 PM
Thank you for commenting on Steve’s grammar. It’s hard to understand how someone who writes for a living can’t (or doesn’t want to) learn basic grammar.
And, yes, it is his ‘lets’ that gets to me the most. He writes this word multiple times in each column, and most of the time it should be ‘let’s’ because it is a contraction for let us as you said.
I have noticed, though, that he is getting better with some things. But come on, Steve, this is so basic!
LM111
March 7, 2018 at 4:02 PM
I thought it was weird that Lauren and Arie were so cheerful on the after, almost as if he had picked her to begin with. Completely insensitive and inappropriate. And – proposing on live TV after everything with Becca? So tacky. Obviously he did that to appease Lauren (despite their “everything is perfect” act, I’m sure she needed a public proposal to take him seriously, and he complied because he knew he had to prove himself). I also think that the same outcome would’ve happened if he proposed to Lauren in the finale, he’d have dumped her for Becca. The guy wants what’s unavailable to him. Not uncommon.
The worst part was when he told Lauren he was 1000% over Becca. Really dude? That’s the kind of thing you say when a girl treats you poorly and you’ve had enough, NOT when a girl is super sweet to you like Becca was.
I thought Becca handled things as best she could under the circumstances.
On a side note – am I the only person that watched one episode of “winter games” and thought it was the stupidest, most boring show ever? Then add in the annoying Yuki and her school girl squeal of a voice. WTF?! Ben Higgins was on podcast talking about how much he loved Yuki? Seriously guy? That’s it. He should be destined to a life of listening to that voice forever!! Like nails on a chalkboard. HATE that chick.
bachfan02
March 7, 2018 at 5:51 PM
I think he told Lauren he was “1000 percent” over Becca because he was trying to prove he won’t flip-flop again. The public proposal was to make Lauren feel secure. She probably felt as if she got “cheated” out of her televised-on-bended-knee proposal on the Bachelor finale. He said he had to do a lot reassuring with Lauren. Clearly he loves that. Maybe they will beat the odds. Stranger things have happened. LOL
atleast4characters
March 7, 2018 at 9:46 PM
Here’s a theory, for which I have no evidence, and it probably isn’t true. However, I would not be shocked if it were true and I think neither would you. To keep it brief: Arie knew he wanted to pick Lauren, but producers convinced him otherwise with the intent of a twist at the end.
One might object with, “yeah, but he wouldn’t have been certain Lauren would give him a 2nd chance.” To which I say, “so what?” And then you slap yourself, exclaiming, “you’re right, it’s Arie we’re talking about.” Either way, Chris Harrison still gets to blabber about it being the most dramatic ending.
Another variant is that, leading up to the finale, Arie told producers he didn’t care who he picked, which led to the concocted ending we saw.
Is it true? I’m in no position to know. Is it plausible? I’d say certainly more so than some of the nonsense we see on this show.
katieharris
March 7, 2018 at 10:34 PM
I cannot with last nights episode. Change your mind, sure, but have some respect for Becca & show some freakin emotion. also… are all those guys on her season seriously private?
tinyred500
March 8, 2018 at 4:24 AM
I think what we’ve seen from this franchise, is really any narrative could fit. I’m sure RS does get it right for most of the time…but I do also wonder whether some of the stuff and ideas that goes into ‘planning’ the storyline for each lead/season is kept somewhat more secretive. So yes, I think the narrative’s you’ve mentioned could all be plausible.
jlal
March 8, 2018 at 4:37 AM
Of course Lauren knew about the engagement and ring, duh. I still can’t believe they thought getting engaged on air, right after he and Becca talking it out, was a good idea. It was so unnecessary, uncool, classless, and tone deaf to anyone else’s feelings. Get engaged if you want, but don’t rub Becca’s face in it, just weird.
To those commenting on RS’s grammar I totally agree. It has been driving me crazy for years and I’ve commented on it a few times. He used to be really bad with pronouns, but has gotten a tad better. It has always been excruciating for me to watch the show, because even the college grads don’t seem to know which pronoun to use. I would then come to this site and RS was just as bad.
As distasteful as this season was, I will watch Becca’s season. I have been watching since the very first one. Some seasons I do more reading a book than watching, but have at least tuned in every single season. It is mindless TV, which is my guilty pleasure for Monday nights. Dancing with the Stars next!
bugsmeany
March 8, 2018 at 7:30 AM
There was no ‘conspiracy.’ Arie got the whole thing started by contacting Lauren on new year’s eve: before the premiere and three weeks before they had a sense of what the ratings would be. (The first two eps went up against college football.) They didn’t know the ratings needed saving.
tamz171926
March 8, 2018 at 9:08 AM
Sarahe – I bet Lauren wouldn’t think Arie “couldn’t have handled things better” if the situation was reversed!
beapancake
March 8, 2018 at 5:06 PM
Thank you! Like who cares what’s real or not – I watch unReal & Bachelor nation as pure entertainment not to believe in “true love” .
beapancake
March 8, 2018 at 5:10 PM
Yes and she is not some innocent wallflower in all this. I’m sure she encouraged him to act like a jackass and call off the engagement.
beapancake
March 8, 2018 at 5:15 PM
I kind of felt that too (regarding producers) as a sort of “revenge / throw under the bus” for the worst received / viewed (gag inducing) Seasons ever. Genius actually!!!!
nycstar03
March 9, 2018 at 10:25 AM
Trying to leave a comment on the Courtney Robertson podcast post.. not working.. Steve, You should all Courtney out on lying about a lot of things.. She first said once he got back from filming, Arie told her everything, that he proposed to becca and had regrets and was sad.. blah blah.. but then later she said when he posted the bike riding pic, that she told him “I know who you picked” from seeing the pic. Soooo which is it.. did he tell her as soon as he got back orrr did she guess from the pic…?!
qtontv
March 31, 2018 at 4:56 PM
Wow I think I am actually completely done with this franchise. I started drifting off during Ben H’s boring af season, and then quit with the latest round of f**** boys (Nick, Arie). Now I have no idea who this poor girl is and nor do I care to find out. At least I left on a high note with Rachel’s season, although Kaitlyn’s is the only season I’ve ever watched every episode of.