-Cocktail party time and since we find out there’s a Courtney on the show this season, she pulls him away first. It’s one thing to cast a bunch of 23 year olds this season, but when all of them have to incessantly tell Colton that despite their age, they SO mature, it’s kind of a turn off. Hopefully I’ll have something tomorrow for you about the age factor this season versus past seasons, but, the more the young ones try to prove themselves, the less I believe them. I’m sure they’re great girls. But when you’re already trying to defend your age, it’s not a good look. Just be you and then he (Colton) will make his determination from there. And so will we as the audience. Obviously I don’t see the episodes in advance, but I’m guessing that Cassie at no point this season talks about how mature she is for her age. Call me crazy.
-We got a little bit of drama with the Sydney/Onyeka battle of the bands. You see, Sydney quit her job as a NY Knick dancer to be on the show because you get paid like $.50 to be an NBA dancer and you have to practice like 3 hours a day. So building a resume and making money on 310 Shakes is much more lucrative than cheering for that sad sack organization that’s been irrelevant essentially since the early 70’s, minus a couple years when Michael retired. Anywho, Sydney hasn’t had a lot of time with Colton and feels she needs it now, only to be interrupted by Onyeka and her air horn. Again, totally going along with what producers asked/suggested. First episode she interrupts Catherine with a snorkel and whistle, and now it’s an air horn. We all realize anyone can interrupt anyone else by just asking to steal him for a sec. Including an annoying air horn is done for TV purposes. Not to be outdone, Sydney comes back to interrupt Onyeka by banging on a pan over and over again, which was similar to what I was doing in my living room. Although the sound being made was quite different, since I had a skillet mashing against my face and all you heard were the sounds of blood squirting from my eyeballs.
-Then of course how would this episode possibly continue without the Tracy/Demi feud continuing? Tracy is talking to Colton and Demi comes downstairs in her robe to grab him and take him to her fantasy closet. Again, something totally unnecessary but made even worse by the fact that it’s not like Demi was wearing nothing under her robe. It’s not like she tried to seduce him by teasing him with her body. All she did was throw on the robe over her dress and steal him away. And the point of that waaaaaaaasssss?…See, this is where Demi ceases becoming entertaining to me and is just annoying. We know she’s not being the least bit authentic and is just doing everything she can to gain camera time. Is it working? Sure. But it’s all an act. She’s just willing to do whatever producers say to get a rise out of people.
-Tracy then runs upstairs to cry and Demi confronts her by feeding her line after line of compliments to her face telling her how much of an amazing woman she is, then in ITMs essentially making fun of her for being the oldest one there. It’s beyond nauseating at this point, yet, we still have plenty of episodes remaining with Demi’s antics. So I guess we should prepare for more rehearsed lines, scripted ITM’s, and soundbites that ABC will promote on their social media for the next few weeks. Yes, I fully understand Demi was cast for entertainment purposes, but here’s the thing: she’s not the least bit entertaining because it’s an act we’ve seen time and time again before. If she was doing sh*t we’d never seen before, at least I’d give her points for originality. She’s not. She’s a 23 year old baby who’s throwing a “tantrum” so to speak so people will give her attention.
-Rose ceremony time. Elyse, Hannah B., and Heather are safe with roses. Colton: “This is always the toughest part…cherish nights like tonight…hope at the end of this can find somebody to spend the rest of my life with…if you don’t receive a rose, I’m sorry…appreciate you all…the four women who don’t get roses tonight have literally gotten zero screen time in two episodes, so you won’t miss them anyway.”
Tayshia, Cassie, Caelynn, Courtney, Demi, Nicole, Kirpa, Hannah G., Catherine, Bri, Sydney, Onyeka, Katie, Caitlin, and Nina all get roses.
“Ladies, Colton, it’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. We made a big deal out of Catherine’s dog Lucy in the first episode and now we don’t even address it. For all I know that dog ran away. Hey, I’m just here for the paycheck. I don’t get $60k an episode to be a dog walker.
Tracy receives the final rose in the least dramatic who-will-get-it-last tease ever. Annie was gonna get it? She’s done nothing since Ellen. Alex B? No. Erika? Not a chance. Angelique? There was an Angelique on the show?
So next week we’ve got another two group dates along with Elyse’s 1-on-1 which was the most spoiled public date of the season. But lets be honest, we’re all waiting in anticipation for episode 4’s 1-on-1 between Caelynn and Colton since maybe then we’ll get some answers. Stay tuned.
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