Hi Steve,
Thanks for putting my last question in your column. Just had another one come to mind.
Given the monetary fine given to Luke concerning his media appearances while still on contract for $10,000 per appearance, do you think this will deter other contestants from speaking out early or give them a pass to do it since it’s not as expensive as what is thought if you break the contract? Contestants make that and more in one Instagram post and precedence has been set.
Comment: I think it’ll be a case-by-case basis. I think ones that know the show loves them won’t care. The fringe ones are the ones that may stay quiet.
_______________________
Dear Steve,
I’ve been following your columns for a while now and enjoy the extra behind the scenes insight you give us.
I was wondering, do you know anything about the relationship between Clare and production? I just keep thinking if I was her I’d be so pissed at what the Bachelor producers have done. The media is literally blaming everything on her, blowing up the Bachelorette, the unfair representation on the show, etc.
I get that they’re under a contract and can’t speak out about it until that contract is over but how is she not fuming right now, especially with all the hate she’s getting, that’s gotta be super hard.
Comment: It doesn’t seem like she’s thrilled with production based on the tweets she likes and stuff she posts on her IG stories, which are all anti-production posts. I’ll be real curious to see what she does after this week when she’s off the show.
_______________________
Reality Steve,
Thanks again for all you do, I know this year’s been harder then others.
About Clare ending her season early and Tayshia coming on…I suspect production thought this season would be lackluster with filming in one setting. I also know from listening to interviews of various leads that they basically know by week four or five who they want to pick at the end. I am a thousand percent sure if any of them had been given the option they would have ended the season early. Add in that this year Clare had the benefit of looking up her men online…well, we have this season don’t we? The most dramatic and shocking season of the Bachelorette ever!
But this is just my guess. What do you think?
Comment: That past leads would’ve ended the season early if they could? Absolutely. I don’t think any of them would debate that. This is basically what I’ve been saying since July. This was their twist this season to get people talking.
_______________________
Hey Steve,
I know you had mentioned previously that there were assumptions of Clare and Dale talking pre-show. Then later on, it was posted that they were not talking pre-show. My question is, If Clare and Dale didn’t connect before filming, why when she greeted him was it a completely different interaction than the other guys? She was casual with the others but the moment she knew it was Dale, she switched to a playful flirty “come on over” in a completely different voice. It’s like she was waiting for him to step out of the limo. That wouldn’t have happened just because she saw his posts on Insta. It just doesn’t make sense, her other interactions Edith other men were just not as flirty or interested it seemed.
To be fair, I think everyone is blowing her season out of proportion. She knows what she wants and a lot of it is production.
Thanks for sharing!
Comment: I mean, she was flirting because she knew in her head, that was the guy she wanted to meet most. So that reaction fits that to me. She WAS waiting for him to step out of the limo because everything she had seen for 4 months on IG made him that way in her head. I don’t see that reaction odd at all when you look at it that way.
_______________________
Hey Steve,
No question per say but hoping when her contract is up you can have Clare on the podcast again, always enjoyed her episodes. Also just want to say I really like how you interview former contestants, no comparison to other podcasts doing the same! I even enjoy the interviews with people from Bachelor seasons I haven’t seen and I think that is because of the interview style. Thanks!
Comment: Of course I’d love to have her on the podcast, but, I just don’t know if that’s gonna be possible. We’ll have to see. I have no idea where her head is at in terms of what she’s gonna say post-show.
And thank you. I think I just look at interviewing former contestants a little differently. I’d rather them tell their story or find something out about them most of the people listening don’t know over anything else.
_______________________
Hi Steve,
Tonight’s date with Zach and then twitter afterwards made me SOOO uncomfortable. In a drunken rage my ex went for my neck and assaulted me. I say this because I know Clare has a history with abusive relationships. Even years later from my relationship, I still sometimes can’t deal with high neck lines on shirts and jewelry without a fear of not being able to breathe. The lack of deep thought and empathy in “Bachelor Nation” is disturbing, and we have guys with giant followings just joking about it. He should’ve backed up after she pulled away, that’s basic consent but to put his hands on her neck what 2-3 times after…that would definitely be a giant red flag for me and I wouldn’t have been able to see him again either. She does not deserve the hate she’s getting for being triggered from trauma and being sent into fight or flight mode. I don’t know, I just wanted to put a different perspective out there other than “she has tunnel vision for dale”. The people joking about it need to do some deep thinking about whether or not they actually believe in supporting survivors and consent. It’s obvious by the jokes that some people just don’t understand what happens when it comes to domestic violence and/or sexual assault, it’s so common for the abuser to go straight for the neck because you can’t breathe/yell/get away, and I hope they never have to really understand that feeling but empathy is everything.
Comment: First off, lets correct you. It’s Toxic Bachelor Nation from now on.
I’d be venturing to guess, and obviously I did not speak to or know every person’s past who sent tweets out regarding it, but I’d be willing to say most people who are saying what Zach J did wasn’t a big deal/Clare overreacted have never been physical abused by the opposite sex. Sure, it’s easy for you to say when you’ve never been physically hurt by someone of the opposite sex, but who are you to tell Clare what her triggers are? Or if they’re too sensitive?
_______________________
A couple of thoughts after watching tonight’s episode. If the producers set it up that it would be a short season, how did they know Clare would fall for Dale? I do think it’s possible after production was shut down and they saw a lot of comments that people were not going to watch anyway because they didn’t like her and wanted a POC, that’s when they decided to change things. I always thought the guys were too young for her anyway and maybe a better suited to Tayshia. If she didn’t have a strong connection with anyone, I wonder what the plan would have been? Clare can’t help who she likes, if it’s all true I can see why the guys would be upset, but how much is production whispering in their ears, getting them riled up and making it seem that they are all going to walk. I wish production would lighten up.
Comment: A couple things here. First off, Clare talked to her producers all the time during the 4 months of quarantine. They knew exactly how she felt about Dale heading into the first night. And I assumed they spoke to Dale quite a bit as well and realized it’s not like he was gonna get out of the limo and be a total bomb and opposite of what Clare had made him out to be in her mind. I don’t think they had any worries Clare was gonna fall for Dale whatsoever. And honestly, probably knew Dale would feel the same.
Production of course played a major role. They do every season. This season was no different. I really don’t think the guys were as bothered by Clare/Dale as the show is making it out to be.
_______________________
Hi Steve,
Question for you and Ashley.
Tonight’s episode was disturbing to say the least. Production knowing Clare is a DV survivor they did her a major disservice in many ways. From the verbal with Yosef to the trigger from Zach.
How, is it possible to petition them to use situations like this as a teaching moment to the audience?
Been through the verbal, sexual, and physical abuse a few times and feel the show failed the First Clare…but also the audience and even failed Zach. Obviously he has never known anyone that has been in that situation and was confused not knowing he triggered her. Chris kinda brushed it “Clare isn’t coming” IMO should have said “I am sure you are a good guy but…” and explained how it triggered Clare when first touched her upper chest to hold her then went for the neck.
Going to bed with nightmares thanks to that episode. Cringeworthy production…
Comment: I’m not sure how much petitioning this show would work. Unfortunately we know what this show is by now. They will take a stand when it’s convenient for them. They had Kaitlyn read mean tweets about her on her ATFR. They had Rachel come out and read some of the nasty, racist stuff read about the contestants on Peter’s season. Will they do that for Clare considering how much of the hatred is being directed her way? Probably not.
As for Zach J, maybe Chris Harrison didn’t say anything to him in the moment, but if he doesn’t see now, he’ll never see. All you have to do is look at the responses under his tweet to me. Majority are telling him the behavior is wrong. I’d say it’s running 75/25. If he’s only paying attention to the 25% bc it aligns with his thoughts, then that’s on him. He still hasn’t come out and either apologized or said he didn’t realize what he did triggered Clare and he meant no harm in it. So it looks like he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did.
_______________________
Hi Steve!
Here’s my comment on tonight’s episode. Clare is not at all suited for Bachelorette. There is a reason she is a 39 year old single woman. She is extremely defensive, catty and aggressive toward anyone that has a difference in opinion. The way she behaved on the evening portion of the “Dale Roast” date asking all the guys about their thoughts on Dale was so embarrassing and immature. She didn’t give them any respect and attention, even when they very maturely asked to keep the conversation off the roast (which was supposed to be just that; but again Clare is a defensive child and can’t see past her own self). She has no original thoughts of her own and is mostly a reactive, overly emotional teenager at best. I truly feel bad for her in her never ending journey for love. She should never have been a serious pick for Bachelorette. Unless “this” (the Tayashia flip flop) was the intention all along, well before Covid ruined filming. Then she’s also naive to not even see the “truth” about herself that she constantly boasts about. Clare has three things she says on repeat: being bold, speaking my mind, and living my truth. And she’s been saying these things since the first time she showed up on Juan Pablo’s season. So over it.
What a “disappointing” season. It’s not like we didn’t know this was the way it was going to be thanks to you. But what a waste of time. Feel bad for these guys (except Zach- wtf was that?!). Hope Clare truly ends up with Dale so we can move on from her love story once and for all!
Hopefully the season gets better from here!
Thanks for spoiling 🙂
Comment: Ok.
_______________________
Hey Steve –
Lots of takes about “Clare hate” coming in after this week’s episode, some of which I agree with and some of which I don’t. These are my thoughts and I’m interested to know if you think, like I do, that all of these observations can be true at the same time:
1. The producers are absolutely spinning a narrative of Clare having tunnel vision for Dale, and her season thus being pointless, so that we will want Tayshia instead. They are taking every piece of Dale footage and audio and shoving it down our throats. The ratio of Dale:notDale that we are shown in the edit is likely a lot higher than what is in everything they filmed. Accurate. There’s a reason they’re showing what they’re showing. And it’s not doing Clare any favors.
2. Clare did actually have tunnel vision for Dale. She walked in to her season wanting him to be the one (after seeing his social media, at the very least) and when they clicked in person, it was game over. The rest of the season would have been a total waste. I think 11 episodes of Clare and Dale would’ve driven people to drink. Although if Clare was never replaced, I don’t think Clare/Dale is shoved down our throats. I think the reason it IS being shoved down our throats is BECAUSE it’s only 4 episodes long. I’ve said this before, but if the editing spends time showing us her alone time with guys like, I don’t know, Ed, Brendan, Joe, etc, then all the sudden after 4 episodes she leaves with Dale, wouldn’t people be like, “WTF? Where did this come from?”
3. Had this ^ not happened, Clare would have been an awesome Bachelorette. She handled the Tyler vs. Yosef situation on night one WAY better than most leads do when two contestants get into a fight. Her sending Brandon (?) home week 2 was right on point. I wish she had been more open minded about her guys because a full Clare season would’ve been great. I don’t necessarily think she wasn’t open minded about others. Seems to me it was just more so, “I like Dale and can any of them match up with what I perceive him to be.” And they didn’t in her mind. We’d really have to hear from her post show when they start doing interviews to know what was going on in her head.
4. The guys are completely in the right to feel disrespected and hurt that Clare clearly doesn’t give an F about them. The fact that in TWO conversations on the roast group date (Ben and Bennett), we saw contestants having to verbatim ask Clare if they could focus on their own connection during their very limited alone time or at the very least talk about anything other than Dale, and Clare repeatedly ignoring that and forcing them to talk about another contestant? Not cool. I know that the editors chose to only show us those parts of the conversations for a reason, but the fact that they happened AT ALL is pretty blatantly rude to the guys.
Does Clare deserve all the hate she’s getting? No. Her edit is making us see things a certain way. But that edit is based in truth, and if Clare had been willing to give all her guys a chance then it wouldn’t be happening. A lot of leads have a clear “favorite,” but in my opinion she could have been more considerate to the other guys.
Consensus: Clare had it in her to be a “good” lead but let her emotions carry her away. She deserves some criticism for how she handled that but not over the line hate. Let’s send her and Dale off into the sunset and get ready for Tayshia.
Comment: I have a hard time agreeing with “that editing is based in truth” 100%. All you need to compare that to is what DeAnna said. When you don’t show the full context of it, it completely changes the narrative. And that’s what the show is excellent at doing. Isn’t most people’s reactions to Clare sniffing Dale’s pants as “crazy” or “stalkerish?” Absolutely. But when the audience isn’t shown that Dale gave those to Clare on the love language date when they had to bring a gift, he sprayed cologne on them and put a bow on it, doesn’t that really change the context of that scene? It does to me. Without the context, Clare looks crazy. With that context, it’s just becomes silly to me. Hell, DeAnna sniffed his pants too and she’s a married woman who doesn’t even know the guy. So why isn’t that scene looked at more playful and silly? Because of the narrative the show is putting behind it and what they conveniently decided to leave out, which was, why did Clare have Dale’s ripped pants in the first place.
_______________________
Hi Steve
So wow, I know you said that Clare wasn’t difficult onset but clearly she did something to make the producers give her such a terrible edit. If I wasn’t such a devotee of yours and Sharleen’s recaps and a little savvy on their editing practises I would be seriously hating on Clare right about now. It’s actually really disappointing that they’ve taken the ‘oldest bachelorette’ and basically thrown her to keyboard warriors everywhere to tear her apart when they had the opportunity to hype the love story of an ‘older woman’ (as a 47 year old single woman, the irony is implied here).
Now I guess they can cross this one off the list and use it as an excuse to continue to cast their early 20s ingenues who are clueless about life, the universe and everything.
I’m not a massive Clare fan. I have always found her a little abrasive and she tends to hit below the belt, both when called for and when not called for. I agree with Sharleen’s last recap when she said a lot more can be discovered keeping silent than going on a tirade. Except for Yosef – he deserved every word and oh so much more. However, it is clear that editing is more responsible for the selfish, narcissistic Dale-obsessed diva we’re seeing than Clare is.
I don’t necessarily agree with the way she handled some things, but why did they need to unnecessarily make her out to be such a gorgon, when they simply could have edited it into a beautiful love story between her and Dale and then brought Tayshia in and been done with it? It still would’ve been ‘shocking’ and a ‘never been done before’. I know they had this planned before filming even started however I can’t help but think that Clare must have peed in someone’s cornflakes to make them villify her so terribly. Ha ha a gorgon? I don’t even know what that is.
I’m sure JoJo never shut up about Jordan, or Ben about Lauren etc however they didn’t show it at the time because it didn’t suit the story. I’m sure Clare’s gushing is probably just on par with several other past Bachelor/ettes however they decided to air every. damn. word. After tonight’s episode I never want to hear the name Dale again (slightly unfortunate as this is the name of my uncle). Thank the heavens this all ends next week and we can move on.
As for Zach, I just hope the keyboard warriors are kind to him. He made a mistake, it was a misunderstanding which went terribly wrong. His actions were wrong but his motives weren’t. I understand this triggered something in Clare but I don’t think he was coming from a bad place at all. And Clare has had some bad experiences in the past which obviously flared by this behaviour so I can understand her position too. So hoping people will think about this before just crucifying either of them over this.
Keep on doing what you’re doing Steve! We out here with nothing better to do during these pandemic times appreciate it more than you know.
Comment: I agree with the Zach stuff. I don’t think his motives were wrong, but his actions definitely were. And once it played out, judging by his response to my tweet, he STILL doesn’t see his actions were wrong, and THAT’s a major problem. If he doesn’t see it by now, he’ll never see it.
_______________________
Typically contestants that are top 4 or well-liked know they are in the running to be the next “bachelor.” However, this season both Production and the guys already knew Matt James was going to be the next lead. How do you think that impacted (if at all) the way the guys are behaving and the editing production is doing? It just seems to me that the guys are either boring/non-existent this season, or openly combative/jealous/rude. I know we see that every season, but it also seems like Production will usually spend more air time on certain contestants or give certain people a favorable edit knowing that they are in the running for the next lead. They’re non-existent this season because production has chosen to focus their attention to Clare/Dale. Once Tayshia takes over, we’ll start seeing more of them.
Also, since Men Tell All is often an audition for “The Bachelor” lead, but all these contestants know it won’t be them, do you think this MTA will be a Sh*t show with the guys ripping Clare and each other to pieces since they aren’t trying to win over America or Production? I have no idea how the MTA will play out. I’m sure to continue the narrative they will have guys who are upset, but, we’ll have to see. The MTA in general has me scratching my head.
On a different note, once they bring in Tayshia will we completely forget Clare was ever the lead (like Clare/Dale are “the names that should not be spoken”), or do you think every conversation between the guys themselves as well as between the guys and Tayshia will be all about “Tayshias such a better fit than Clare” “I wasn’t in to Clare anyways” “Clare and Dale are a perfect fit… glad they left together” etc. I just think it will be one way or the other: either we won’t hear Clare’s name a single time after she leaves (even if there are convos about her, Production will edit those convos out) OR the contestants will be prodded to dis Clare/Dale and talk about how happy they are that Tayshia is here Instead, she’s a better Bachelorette, they weren’t feeling Clare, etc.
Comment: Yeah, I’m not sure how that will be aired or how it played out. I’d lean towards the former in that Clare won’t be mentioned much once Tayshia joins.
_______________________
Hey, Steve! Well, you certainly were not wrong. That episode was wild, and the Zac date may have been one of the worst things I’ve seen on television. You were correct that it’s polarizing but for the life of me I can’t figure out why. Any woman who has been in that situation should understand. My entire body instantly tensed up when he grabbed her neck and kept putting his hands on her stomach. When he was following her and pressuring her, I wanted to scream at production to do something! I see people saying that he didn’t pull away when she went to kiss him. That is completely irrelevant. His behavior afterwards is what was disturbing. They also keep saying ‘he was worried he missed his chance’. Okay, well first of all don’t grab her no matter what. Second of all if that’s the case, you have a dinner date left. You still have a chance. Do I necessarily think Zac is a bad person? No. But that was a major misstep and was horrifying to watch.
Once a man makes you feel uncomfortable like that, there’s no going back. Your fight or flight is triggered and you feel sick being around them. (I’m sure the same could apply to men about women, I’m just speaking from a woman’s perspective). I don’t blame her at all for not even sending him home in person. I really haven’t been a fan of Clare (sorry!) but I stand with her 100% on this. I don’t see how anyone, particularly women, could not. I think any woman who voiced on social media that it “wasn’t a big deal” probably has never been in a physically abusive relationship. And if they were and STILL think that, then that’s just idiotic to tell Clare how she should’ve felt in that situation as someone who’s bee in an abusive relationship before.
Sorry for the rant. Actual question here: during last nights episode I kept thinking, this is so over the top. Some of this has to be staged. It just has to be. Behind producer manipulation, do you think any of it is purely staged even if not all the guys are in on it? What part are you talking about? Everything on that show is orchestrated by production.
Also, we saw Clare’s back when she said ‘my fiancé’. It was pretty convincing, but we’ve learned that if we don’t see her mouth saying it, not to trust it. So do you really think she said that? Correct. That fiancé comment could’ve come at any point since we don’t even see her say it.
Last question I swear: what are the chances of anyone from this season ever being Bachelor? I would die for a Bennet season!
Thank you!
Comment: Bennett will be on Paradise. People are forgetting we have another “Bachelorette” season filming March of 2021, so we’ll have a whole new set of guys to choose from next summer. I don’t think many of Clare’s guys will be considered. Most will be on Paradise though.
