Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Emmanuel Acho on GMA, & (EXCLUSIVE) What’s the “Bachelorette” Twist This Season?

Photo Credit: ABC


I’ve watched Emmanuel’s YouTube Series UCWABM and he’s awesome. What a great choice for ATFR. One thing producers did good this season was get him to facilitate conversations.

I wonder if he’ll cover interracial relationship with Matt and Rachael? It was one of his episodes on his series with Rachel Lindsay and Bryan. In another episode, he definitely acknowledges that people are capable of change. So do you think this is a message he drives to Matt and Rachael? I’m just thinking maybe he’ll pull and tug some chords that hit with Matt, also with Rachael, that they try and reconcile?

I still don’t understand Matt’s timing? But I guess it will all play out soon.

Also, is there a list of post show interviews (tv, podcast) that are lined up for Matt, Rachael, Michelle and Bri to appear on?

Comment: All I’ve heard so far from the ATFR taping (besides the “Bachelorette” stuff) is that Emmanuel was great. Excellent reviews.

I’m sure people want them on their podcasts after it’s over. Especially now we know both Katie and Michelle will have their own seasons. But Matt and Rachael doing podcasts separately? I’m not sure of. I would think they would. Well maybe not Matt. He seems done with the franchise. But I absolutely think Rachel Kirkconnell will go on Rachel Lindsay’s. She should.


I know you truly don’t care about Jed, but whatever happened to that one time he and Dylan told us he would spill the beans on how the Bachelor franchise manipulated him and how he never cheated (or something like that)?

Comment: Hot air apparently.

Hi Steve! I have an assortment of questions:

1) Whatever happened to the senior version of the Bachelor? That was actually something I was prepared to watch without hate watching. Are they going back to that idea after Covid? Based on their commercial during the break, looks like they’re still doing it since they want people to apply.

2) If Chris Harrison is replaced (hopefully), do you think they’d replace him with a host from outside the franchise, or with someone from the show, like Sean Lowe or Mike Johnson or Wells Adams? Do you think they’d hire a woman? My guess is within the franchise, but I’ve heard nothing.

3) There’s no way in hell that Rachael winds up on Bachelor in Paradise, is there? That would be an interesting redemption storyline, but also a terrible idea. I’d be shocked if she did.

4) There’s usually one woman on Paradise who all the guys want — Jade, Hannah Godwin, etc. Who do you think will be that woman this time around? Hannah Ann? If Hannah does it, I’d still say her. But I think Bri, Pieper and possibly Abigail will be the ones from this season if they go.

5) Are people giving you a hard time for not having all the spoilers right away during these Covid seasons? Or have they turned their attention to announcing they’re through with you because of “wokeness” or “cancel culture” or whatever? I don’t understand this attitude — is there nothing better to complain about, Karen?

Thanks for another great season!

Comment: Of course they are. But I just take it as a compliment. Because I’ve “spoiled” them to the point where they expect everything at all times from me. So when they don’t get it from me right away, that just shows how much they rely on me. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t jump down my throat when I don’t have something 4 seconds after it happens.

Hi Steve! My guess is that since everything was already set for The Bachelorette to be filmed in New Mexico, they couldn’t find another host in time, so they realized Chris was their only option. Perhaps they weren’t going to go with Katie because they didn’t think Chris would be the host, but then they just decided to keep everything the way they originally planned. The absolute best thing about Katie being Bachelorette is that she will not be on Paradise. Clearly the girls from her season did not like her and I am glad that we won’t have to deal with any more of that back and forth drama during Paradise this season.

I am so happy The Bachelorette is 30 and not 23. It gives me hope that her suitors will be older and we will end up with an older, much more mature Bachelor than Matt James. If Chris ends up hosting Bachelor in Paradise, I am curious to see if Serena and Ivan will go or not. I actually think it would be a smart move to only have Chris continue to host The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. They could always have Wells host Bachelor in Paradise. We shall see! Yes, it will be interesting to see who goes and who doesn’t. Especially if Chris is the host. We just don’t know enough now. And yes, I like the fact that Katie is 30, even though facially she could pass for 20. I had no idea until I think two weeks ago Katie was 30. Obviously it was in her bio, but I guess I just never paid attention and it didn’t register with me.

Do you think Rachael will ever appear on another Bachelor Nation show? It would actually be interesting to see her down in paradise, but I just don’t think it’s going to happen, nor should it. I pray they leave Victoria home too. I’m really trying to imagine Victoria Fuller interacting with the girls from Matt’s season. Now that I think about it, why wouldn’t they have Victoria versus Victoria in paradise? Sigh.

Comment: I hope she doesn’t do Paradise. And I’d be shocked if Victoria Fuller WASN’T on Paradise.

Hi Steve, in case you’re gauging how the audience (at least this audience member – me!) responded to Chris Harrison’s GMA interview, this is my feedback that I submitted to ABC:

Chris Harrison has a unique talent for making things worse; which is exactly what he did during his March 4th interview with Michael Strahan on ‘Good Morning America.’ We all saw & heard for ourselves the “real” Chris during his very candid, passionate February 9th interview with Rachel Lindsay on Extra. For Chris to then, less than a month later, come out & read (it was clear that he kept looking down at notes) an “apology” was a blatant attempt to save his job. Chris’ GMA appearance was disingenuous, offensive, & further proves that he just “doesn’t get it.” The “gracious” (as Chris might like to say) thing to do would be for Chris to retire; giving someone else an opportunity to host the Bachelor franchise shows. I’m confident that Chris could comfortably retire while continuing to work on educating himself in his newly found spare time. There are many qualified folks who could step in to the role of host – Michael Strahan, Mike Johnson, Emmanuel Acho, Rachel Lindsay, & Tayshia Adams to name a few. When JoJo Fletcher recently seamlessly filled in for Chris, she proved it’s not exactly challenging to swap out the host. ABC, you did it with Dancing with the Stars & you can do it here. This moment in our history has outgrown Chris Harrison. I wish him well & hope he educates himself, but he has no place continuing to host. Period.

Comment: It’s a great take. And it’s still amazing how many people get visually and emotionally upset at someone saying Chris should be replaced.

Hi Steve!

Hope you are doing well!

This is super random. I know you and Ashley always say you have been doing the lives since May but I remember you guys started them last March during quarantine! I remember you guys saying you were bored and started them.
It was when they didn’t save to your IG TV and were on your story for 24 hours. Thought I would let you know and say how much I enjoy them!!

Comment: Ahhhh ok. That’s right. They didn’t save to IGTV. Forgot about that. Damn, almost a whole year of doing these. Crazy.

And in more BN nonsense.. just saw James Taylor is suing for defamation about the Jan 6 riot – and Erica Rose is representing him. Give me a break!

I would write this as a reader email but don’t want to give more attention that the loser craves!

Comment: It’s one of the most hilarious stories to ever come out of this franchise. And that’s saying something.

Hi Steve,

I have several thoughts, so here goes!

1. I saw you mentioned that apparently some of the girls were speaking out against Katie on Twitter and Instagram after the WTA. Would you like mind giving a quick synopsis of whatever shade was being thrown online? Chelsea and Mari were the two biggest ones, basically saying that stuff happened no one will ever know about because it wasn’t shown. But then didn’t give any examples. But Katie and Chelsea have since made up as we saw on their IG stories. Don’t know about Mari.

2. Do we know if Chris Harrison and Lauren Zima are still together? Considering neither of them have posted anything about their relationship since everything went down, no, we don’t know. Until they say otherwise, I’d assume they still are.

3. Taylor—oh boy. I’m not going to rehash everything you’ve said/others have said. What she did was wrong and her first response was crap. Here’s what I keep thinking about, though. In BN we currently have three people that are at the center of a discussion of harmful behavior. Two of them are white, and one is BIPOC. And my worry is that people will find it a lot easier to forgive Chris and Rachael before they forgive Taylor. In my experience, people are much more willing to forgive remorseful white people over anyone else. I know that the Taylor situation is incredibly complicated—there were a lot more groups that were targeted with her words, and a lot of people feel let down. But my worry is more for people not directly affected, who still will hold a grudge for her while feeling someone like Rachael deserves grace. Anyway, these are not perfectly formulated thoughts, I have a lot swirling around in my head. But I’m trying to take some time to reflect on who we believe as a society deserves “grace” and forgiveness and who we might be less willing to extend that consideration to.

Comment: Agree. She will absolutely not be given the leash that Chris and Rachael have been given. That’s a fact. However, she has no one to blame but herself.

Hey Steve. First time writing, very long time reader and fan. I’ve been following you since the announcement of Meredith & Ian breaking up.

So I remember way back in the day on Trista’s season they showed a lot of footage of the guys hanging out and frolicking in their downtime. They even had a house dog. It was so much more fun and entertaining than watching mean girls bullying each other. I figure maybe if I put it out there a bachelor producer might read this and consider showing that kind of stuff instead.

On another subject, since you are such a big fan of Mark L Walberg and would love to see him as host of The Bachelor you kind of can. There’s an old Hallmark movie called I Want to Marry Ryan Banks (or sometimes the title The Reality of Love is used – I found it under this title on Prime). Mark plays the host of a dating show similar to The Bachelor. It stars Jason Priestley and my pretend husband Bradley Cooper before he was super famous. One of the contestants of the show For Love or Money, Paige Jones, even plays a part in the movie. It’s a sweet love story but it also shows a lot of the behind-the-scenes manipulation of reality shows.

I really showed my age on this email LOL

Thanks for all you do!

Comment: As much as I’d love Mark to host the “Bachelor” franchise (And we’re talking Mark Walberg, Temptation Island host, not Mark Wahlberg, formerly Marky Mark and he with the sketchy past), it’s just not gonna happen.

Hi Steve,

If your spoilers are correct about the next Bachelorette lead, I can’t tell you how disappointed and deceived I feel. The show should just stop with the canned PR lines about more diversity and doing better. After 18 years, they had a great opportunity to continue moving forward to make up ground with one of at least four suitable (diverse) lead options. It’s all lip service. A fat lie. Before the season even aired, they bent over backwards to keep things the same by setting up their choice. They should just continue embracing what they’re all about- white show for white people. It’s insulting to pretend otherwise with words and empty promises. Fool me once…You know the rest.

Comment: Well, you wrote this email before you knew Katie and Michelle were both getting their own full seasons of the “Bachelorette.” So how do you feel now?

I heard on the Walk You Out podcast that one of the reasons they picked Emmanuel Acho is to bring Chris Harrison to have a chat as part of his redemption tour on the AFR. I know that are taping today so you’ll know soon but I was wondering if there is any truth to that because it seems like something they would do so that he can keep his job but wow. If so, that leads me to believe he will definitely (as you’ve said) not get fired or be held accountable and they’re going to force his “work” down our throats until we forgive him. We’re not ready and he’s not ready. Ugh, please say it isn’t so.

Thanks for all that you do. There may come a time in the near future when your site will be the only way I keep up with this show because it’s getting exhausting but for now, keep spoiling us with the spoilers. You make the show more interesting to watch!

Comment: Chris definitely wasn’t at the ATFR taping. And he will absolutely be held accountable. What that means, and the exact definition of it, we don’t know yet. But if you ask me do I think Chris Harrison is done forever? My answer now would be no. I think they are going to let him rehabilitate. For how long, I don’t know. But I expect to see him back at some point.

Enough is enough! What a joke firing Chris. End this double standard. If he is gone from the show for something so minor I am done with it to. Just put in on Black entertainment channel. All this is doing is creating racism where it didn’t even exsist. If all you have to do is change the name of the color in a sentence and it’s rasist thats wrong. how about white entertainment channel is that ok? How about white history month is that ok?
Comment: “Just put it on Black entertainment channel.” I’ll let that marinate with everyone for a few seconds. (Waiting).

And now I’ll tell you that was such an incredibly racist statement to make, yet, I bet you’re now all offended I said that. And therein lies the problem right now with a lot of fans of this franchise. They. Just. Don’t. Get. It.


I was on your Welcome to Clubhouse call on the Clubhouse app almost the entire time on Thursday. I think the discussion lasted close to six hours. I first want to say that for the most part I really enjoyed it. I thought people were kind and considerate with a couple of exceptions that I will get to shortly. The content was very interesting and it gave me a better perspective of a variety of different issues. That is why I stayed on that long because I felt it was worth my time.

I was particularly interested in Juan Pablo’s mother when she came on. Although I didn’t understand some of what she was talking about, I got the overall impression that the show did not treat him fairly and didn’t understand his cultural background. She definitely had some interesting tidbits to share.

As I am navigating the Clubhouse app, it has become clear to me that the moderators in charge of the discussion are there for a reason. One of their roles I believe should be to weed out people who are rude or inappropriate. About an hour or so into the discussion, someone was playing devil’s advocate. I really liked how Taylor Nolan handled it and shut him down by asking him if he had listened to the Chris Harrison/Rachel Lindsay interview. When he admitted that he had not, that was the end of that discussion.

Towards the end of the call, when we had all been on for around five hours, someone had a question for you that I thought was uncalled for. I think you know who I am talking about and what she was asking you. I won’t go into the details here, but I want to emphasize my point that this was a celebratory call to welcome you on to the Clubhouse app. This was not bash and confront Steve time. It was important to make it a safe space. If it had been a different call under different circumstances, that question may have been appropriate, but I do not believe it was appropriate on this Welcome Steve to Clubhouse call. I think one of the moderators should have shut it down, set their limits and moved on to another topic.

Clubhouse is a fascinating app if used properly. But limits need to be set and moderators need to be clear otherwise I can see how things could spiral out of control pretty quickly.

Comment: I understand what you’re saying. But it’s tough to pre-screen. Actually there’s no way too unless the person asking the next question messages the moderator privately to tell them what they’re going to ask/talk about. But then again, they could always lie just to get through, and then change it once they’re live. I had no problem with any questions really, and honestly, I already forgot which question you were referring to. I just know when that live was over, I wasn’t upset or pissed at any questions that were asked. I thought it went great. Finding time to do that every week at the same time is a little tough though. Maybe in between seasons.

Dear Steve,

Thank you so much for all that you do. Not only do I and many others thoroughly enjoy your posts and tweets, but I genuinely feel that by following your reading material and listening to your podcasts, I’ve become better at learning about my own needs and sticking to my standards when it comes to relationships (both dating and platonic). I messaged you a while back to express gratitude for your sticking up for women, and you kindly said thank you. You’ve given me hope that there are level-headed guys out there who are willing to learn and who have integrity. Also, I wanted to say that you’ve been on point with your views about Bachelor nation and production, and I hope more voices like yours enter this problematic world.

I realize you haven’t done Dr. Reality Steve for some time, but I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind giving advice. If you’re able, please send me your Venmo! Ha ha, no need for that. My advice is free.

I met a guy last year soon before the pandemic hit, and as of December we’ve been talking nearly daily. We live close enough to each other, and we’re both 28. From November to January, he was staying with his parents a little farther away. After he returned to where he usually lives in early February, he finally said that we should meet for a drink. Mind you, this was a couple hours after he expressed anxiety and uncertainty about being in a relationship, saying that that’s “the last thing” he wants. I playfully pointed that out after he suggested we meet up and asked if that was his way of friendzoning me, and he laughed and said that it wasn’t, and that he was “terrified.” It was also clear as he was asking that he was very anxious and was having a mini “freak out” moment. But I figured if he’s willing to work through his stuff, we can meet up and see what happens.

Last week while we were texting and talking about relationships in general, he was saying that he doesn’t feel anything is missing from his life and although he very rarely goes on dates, he tells women beforehand that he doesn’t want a relationship. After I tried to clarify, he said he doesn’t feel anything is missing from his life and wants to be alone. This was all very confusing, as he does this thing where instead of thinking to himself, he’ll think in our text exchange, and he gets very wordy and all over the place, contradicting himself numerous times. This is the same thing that happened before he asked me out but again, he seemed to want to take the leap, so I let it go. I should have also noted that we’ve been friendly for the year that we’ve known each other, so I have a pretty good understanding and empathy for his insecurities and I’ve always liked him. Otherwise, I would probably have less patience for this.

What I did was tell him that I’m not sure we should meet up if he feels this way, because while I’m not necessarily on the prowl for a relationship, I don’t want to get into a casual fling either. He said he understands how uncertainty can be confusing and hurtful, and said he isn’t sure what the best court of action is because we haven’t met up yet. He also again said it would be nice to meet up and that he doesn’t mean to be confusing but is just “terrified.” I felt myself shut down and got very terse with my texts after this, which I’m guessing he noticed and felt anxious about, because he kept sending many texts even though I wasn’t answering. Eventually, I started talking more like myself after my mood got better, and we’ve been in regular contact since.

Basically one part of me wants to see him and see what happens, and another part of me feels there’s no point if he’s certain about not wanting a relationship. Part of me feels he is certain about that, and another part feels like isn’t. I understand his point about not having enough information because we haven’t seen each other in a year, but then why tell me you don’t want a relationship right now in the first place? If he had just stuck to the former point, it would be totally valid, and I’d feel fine about seeing him.

I realize this might be confusing to read and understand, probably because it seems that both of us are confused. My fear is that by not seeing him and backing away, I’ll never quite know exactly how flexible he’s willing to be. Unless I’m just naïve and putting rose-colored glasses on, I feel there’s really no shot in him being open to dating if we don’t actually meet. I very rarely actually feel interested in someone, so I think I just want to do everything I can to see it through. But I also want to be realistic and not just set myself up to be hurt.

Comment: Dr. Reality Steve returns! Good to be back. Here, come sit on my couch and let me tell you what I think.

I get why you’d want to at least meet him. You’ve invested time into this guy, and you think that what’s the point of never meeting? Seems kinda silly when you’ve built up this much equity. However, if this guy is terrified of meeting up once in a casual setting, I wouldn’t set your hopes high at all. Know what you’re getting into. A guy who’s already overthinking a simple coffee (or whatever) meeting. Are you really thinking that’s all it would be, or what you’d want it to be? Or are you secretly hoping he’ll see you and change his mind? It’s your decision to make, and I’m not telling you not to meet him. I’m telling you if you do, don’t expect much. Like, at all.

Hi Steve,

Did the producers give Katie that good edit knowing they wanted her for the bachelorette or did the fact that she was so popular make them choose her?


Comment: It’s the former.



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