There isn’t a ton to recap from the actual episode itself since we all knew what was coming, it was pretty standard, and a lot of last night was shots of Matt, Rachael, and Michelle all walking in circles with pensive looks on their faces. Like, A LOT a lot. More so than usual. The focus of last night was the ATFR because I gotta say, for a one hour show, there was a lot packed into it and a lot to dive into there. The first thing I want to say is that the ATFR taping took 6 HOURS. We saw 40 minutes. There’s plenty that wasn’t shown, and they definitely edited it a certain way. One thing that wasn’t shown but has been released in pictures, was Michelle on the couch talking to Rachael. Michelle just wanted to let her know how she felt in regards to all the stuff that came out about Rachael post show. Michelle was disappointed Rachael never reached out to her as she had to others from the season. Rachael said she knew Michelle was hurting and upset that Matt hadn’t chosen her, and didn’t know what to say, but ultimately agreed that she should’ve said something.
Rachael also took to Instagram last night once the show completed to give this message:
If you look at the comments, she’s getting a ton of support from the women on her season, which says a lot. I’ve never understood this immediate hatred for Rachael and to immediately label her a racist and white supremacist. And Emmanuel worded it perfectly last night when speaking to Rachael:
“There’s a difference between being racist and racially insensitive or racially ignorant. I’ve been very intentional about saying what you did was racially insensitive, it was racially ignorant, and it plays itself out as racism. But that doesn’t necessarily classify someone as racist. You have to pull back the curtains and look at their intention. Was their intention malicious?”
I loved this statement, but one thing seems to be getting lost in it and that became evident by a lot of the voices on social media last night. And that’s that people saying Chris’ interview with Rachel Lindsay was him just defending Rachel and saying that she wasn’t coming from a place of malice or hate with her Antebellum pictures. Yes, Chris’ intent to defend Rachael Kirkconnell came from a good place. However, it was IN that defense, that Chris started talking down to a black woman, showed his racial ignorance, and excused behavior in 2018 that was wrong in any year. No one’s saying Chris didn’t have the right intention in mind when he started that interview with Rachel Lindsay. He was basically coming on to say leave Rachael Kirkconnell alone until we could hear from her. However, in trying to do that, he spewed a bunch of a other views that were racially ignorant and racially insensitive. I’ve said this on the IG lives a couple times, but if Chris’ response to Rachel’s first question of what did he think of the Rachael Kirkconnell allegations was, “I’m disappointed she was involved in those pictures, there is no place for that, and I’m really looking forward to hear what she has to say for herself when I speak to her about it,” this guy still has his job. Period. End of story. But that wasn’t his answer. We all saw his answer. And because of that, he absolutely should be held accountable.
I know I should’ve done this sooner, but I started reading Emmanuel’s book “Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man” over the weekend, and am about a 1/3rd of the way through. It’s so good. I’m disappointed I didn’t read this sooner. Always been a fan of Emmanuel’s work on ESPN’s college football coverage and now on “Speak For Yourself” on FS1. And I’d seen his YouTube series with the same name, but didn’t start reading the book til this weekend. I know this will never happen, but honestly, every single person that has sent a tweet since the Chris Harrison/Rachel Lindsay interview that said something along the lines of “What’s the big deal” or “What is Chris apologizing for” or “He should never have lost his job over this” should be required to read, among other things, Emmanuel’s book. I like it because, while Emmanuel is black, he basically grew up surrounded by white people. And heard all the “you’re an oreo cookie” takes from people around him for years. So his book doesn’t come at you from this place of he’s some militant black guy, and black power this, and black power that. He’s really empathetic to people and, as corny as it may be, his book is EXACTLY what the title says it is. It’s the questions you as a white person absolutely have in your head in regards to black people, but maybe don’t want to say. He addresses them ALL. I highly suggest reading his book. I’ve linked to it here. It’s worth the $15.
That quote from the show last night is exactly what he says in his book, but expands on it ten fold. I also think while watching that ATFR last night, it showed why someone like Emmanuel needed to be hosting that and not Chris Harrison. Chris Harrison has zero experience being a black man. He couldn’t possibly have had that conversation that Emmanuel was having with Matt on stage. Please. I know people have blinders on when it comes to Chris, but can you at least admit to yourself how embarrassing that would’ve been for Chris to be up there last night? Sure, he would’ve asked basic questions, but just watching Emmanuel and Matt discussing race, it just felt different. And it was powerful. Why? Because we’ve never seen it before. I don’t feel shit when I see Chris Harrison to speaking to anyone on this show. Sorry, I don’t. He’s just there asking his questions, barely giving much feedback, and just making sure the show moves along. I could’ve listened to Emmanuel and Matt for a whole hour, because that’s the type of conversation white people really need to hear. A white person asking Matt about race issues? Huh? What? Where does that get us? Emmanuel can ask it and follow up with questions because he’s lived it himself. I don’t understand the strong push back to it. Lets open our eyes, because that was a great conversation last night that this audience desperately needed to see.
iampunka
March 16, 2021 at 8:45 AM
Emmanuel Acho did a fantastic job navigating the show last night. Especially his talks with Matt. Matt really didn’t give him much to work with, especially the conversation with Rachael. And he moved it along and asked good questions.
And I have to say, for all the growth Matt liked to act like he made during the season, he sure seemed to backslide last night. He came across as a man-child emotionally. Just seriously stunted emotionally. Self emasculated. He clearly has some issues to still work through, because his inability to really communicate with Rachael and answer some questions for glaring.
And I agree with Steve that how Emmanuel addressed what happened with Rachael wasn’t racist. It was insensitive and ignorant of the implications of what she was doing truly meant. But not racist. I think that is something people really need to do a better job of understanding. Especially on social media. People are too brutal on the socials. Very harsh and uncaring. Which brings me to my next point.
What is the point of asking people to be accountable, and then them taking the steps to learn and and grow without then granting forgiveness and redemption? If you’re going to brand with a scarlet letter forever in asking for accountability, but not offering forgiveness and redemption, you will never get accountability. Ever. Because people will see it is pointless to even try if you’re going to bludgeon either way. If growth and learning is the point, you have to actually be willing to offer it. Not just punishment and derision. And Matt wore his religion on his sleeve all season, but when it came down to exercising it with Rachael, offering forgiveness and redemption, he sure wasn’t ready to practice what he preached. So unless there really is more to it like Steve said, was a bad look for Matt last night. Really bad.
As to the Bachettes, won;t watch Katie. Not a fan. Will watch Michelle. She is great and easy to cheer for. Wish we’d seen Bri as well. Really like her. She’s all class.
auntk
March 16, 2021 at 10:01 AM
A certain amount of economic privilege is required in order to qualify to be on the show. The person must have enough money to be able to avoid working for several months, and to supply a tv-ready qualify of wardrobe and makeup on one’s own.
Do we ever discuss that this is part of the problem? That many great women and men are excluded by virtue of their lack of economic privilege? To me, until production supplies wardrobe, hair and makeup, and a salary for the duration of the show, it is not capable of transcending this part of privilege.
2hondas
March 16, 2021 at 10:21 AM
While reading “Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man”, DON’T miss the “Quick Talks” that are tucked in after the Acknowledgments. Easy explanations about things like black names, du-rags, gold jewelry and sagging pants.
wisewords
March 16, 2021 at 10:36 AM
That was the most AWKWARD ATFR I have ever watched. Awkward on Matt’s part, and sad. If we could only know what all Matt’s blank stares and silence were all about.
As for Katie, since she considers herself so sexually progressive, they ought to match her with some sexually progressive guys. Now wouldn’t that be interesting.
Dare I say that she is just average looking to me. Nothing wrong with that, and I realize that everyone’s perception of beauty is different. But she is especially average looking, which to me means casting has taken a different direction. We still get a few beauty queens, but notice Matt didn’t choose any of those. Nothing wrong with being physically beautiful either, but it speaks to Matt’s character that he chose his women for personality and other reasons and not just physical beauty.
Michelle is, in my opinion, also an average looking woman. But in my eyes she has her own special charm that made her beautiful. I look forward to her season.
jlal
March 16, 2021 at 10:44 AM
I liked Matt all season, until last night. I don’t think he was ever in this to “find love”, but just for fame. If he really had loved Rachel he would have forgiven her youthful ignorance, as insensitive as it was.
I don’t think he ever intended to propose to anyone. He played up the Mom/Dad story to justify walking away from Michelle and the race story to walk away from Rachel. He came off like he thought he was a victim, and unforgiving and mean. It was not a good look; about as bad as that awful beard. I’m curious about what else RS knows, because his scorn level and how he acted last night does not align with who he was the entire show and does not match the situation.
I don’t get the Katie and Michelle thing. What am I missing? So, they announced the next two bachelorettes, big deal. Why not announce the next three or the next two bachelors? What am I missing here?
midwesterngirl
March 16, 2021 at 10:53 AM
I think Emmanuel did a really good job, as did everyone, for that matter, with the exception of Matt. WTF was that? He came off as so cold, uncaring, and it seemed like his only concern was himself.
The fact that he refused to give Michelle 2 minutes of time; and the way it appears that he dumped Rachael at the first sign of public disapproval makes it seem like this is all just about him.
One thing that caught my attention was Matt’s ridiculous statement about Rachael needing to be left alone to do “the work.” Sounds to me like Matt, who purports himself to be a man of God, needs to take some time to do some “work” to really think about what being a Christian means. It does not mean abandoning someone in the worst of times, especially someone, who as Emmanuel pointed out, was 100% racially insensitive, but appears to have been lacking the intent.
I already put a hold on Emmanuel’s book at the library–looking forward to reading it.
ctrealitygirl
March 16, 2021 at 11:00 AM
you took the words right out of my mouth, wisewords! That was going to be my opening line, too! Not only was it awkward, it was just so dismal. There have been many seasons that didn’t have happy endings, but was still entertaining to watch the AFTR. With the closed set and somber subject matter, it was painful to watch. It’s really a shame this had to happen. The Bachelor shows started as just a mindless, guilty pleasure show that served to take your mind off everyday stress. Now it has to take a serious turn and I think it’s going to go downhill from here on. I think Emmanuel Acho was a good choice for last night’s show, given the topic of racism was going to be in the forefront. but I do not think he’d make a good replacement for Chris Harrison in a regular season. He approaches the show like the sports analyst he is, not like a host of a reality TV show. I don’t get why Steve has such a hard-on for CH. Did he screw up? Yes. But Steve is willing to give Taylor Nolan a chance to redeem herself – and what she did was 1000% times worse than what Chris, yet Steve is chomping at the bit for CH tp get booted. I like CH and think he’s the heart of the show. My interest is already waning. If they replace him I may just stop watching. I only skimmed the episodes this year, didn’t watch one in its entirety. Just not entertaining. The producers really need to dial down the manufactured drama with he women.
mgb970
March 16, 2021 at 11:16 AM
@ iampunkaMarch
> And I have to say, for all the growth Matt liked
> to act like he made during the season, he sure
> seemed to backslide last night. He came across
> as a man-child emotionally. Just seriously stunted
> emotionally.
Something was off last night with Matt. I liked his season but he wasn’t what we’ve come to know on the screen.
I wonder if production got to him and fed him lines. If Matt was going from a script last night, that would explain how unnatural he came across.
mgb970
March 16, 2021 at 11:21 AM
@wisewordsMarch
> Michelle is, in my opinion, also an average looking woman.
I agree.
Bri on the other hand, really gets the motor running. Vroom, vroom!!!
shenanigans
March 16, 2021 at 11:45 AM
It was painfully obvious last night that Matt has totally written Rachael off, would never give her a second chance, and didn’t want to sit next to her on that couch. He is over her, which means he will give her NOTHING more emotionally.
Considering how badly she feels, it was hard to watch.
ctrealitygirl
March 16, 2021 at 12:55 PM
I commented weeks ago that the whole Rachael scandal was Matt’s way of getting out of the relationship as I truly don’t believe he intended to get engaged or marry the woman he picked at the end. I think he was at best smitten or physically attracted to Rachael, but when she fell from grace he didn’t look at her the same way, which, honestly, I can relate to as I had a similar situation with the last person I dated. I had put him up on a pedestal where he did not belong and when he showed a different side of himself it spoiled everything and my feelings just weren’t the same. I never got the feeling that Matt was that into any of the women – not like in past seasons.
kabuki
March 16, 2021 at 1:34 PM
That was painful to watch. Matt was a very boring Bachelor, but to make matters worse, he still can’t get over his father’s absence during his childhood. He needs therapy and he needs to move on decades later. It was obvious he had no interest in getting married. He just wanted fame. The AFTR was a disaster IMO. The host looked like the Incredible Hulk busting out of his much too tight suit and he was awkward, stiff and joyless. There was zero levity in that show and I had to fast forward through parts after so much dead air. If I were Rachael, I would not have shown up for that roasting. She really was thrown to the wolves and Matt was a scumbag for not showing any sort of support. She is better off without him. I liked Michelle a lot and thought she was a good fit for Matt, but the heart wants what the heart wants, even if it’s the wrong choice. Glad she will be a Bachelorette. She won’t be a very exciting Bachelorette, but she will be likeable. I think Abigail should have been the other Bachelorette. Inclusivity means more than just having Black leads and contestants. It means including other races and ethnicities as well as people with physical disabilities who are doing all they can to overcome them. I’ll sit Katie’s season out. I found her very unlikeable. This show has pretty much run its course. Contestants are not looking for love. All they want now is Instagram followers for cash.
2realitysteve
March 16, 2021 at 1:36 PM
I ? hundred percent agree with your assessment of last night and how well Rachael held herself, vTRid60vyDW8 was accountable, didn’t victimize herself, and was open and vulnerable. Matt breaking up with her and her being racist is ridiculous. She’s willing to do the work and the problem I had the most with it was that Matt said she has to do it all on her own. She is doing it all on her own but… When you truly love somebody you work together and that would’ve been a much more powerful ending and truth to their romance than the silence we received from him. I truly wish Emmanuel had asked Matt why she has to do everything on her own right now? She is clearly in love with him and she is clearly a good hearted human. Yes she’s made mistakes and she is holding herself accountable and educating herself. That should be enough for Matt. I don’t understand how he can let her go…. and for those bashing her, you have no conscience nor heart.
darush
March 16, 2021 at 1:43 PM
First of all, Someone needs to tell Mr. Acho that wearing your 8th grade graduation suit is NOT a good look. Matt James could benefit from the same information. Second. Since when does going to a drinking party that is themed as Antebellum qualify as racist of racially insensitive. Everyone acts like they have not done anything in their past that could be considered ignorant or in poor taste. But, Matt James’ WAY TOO LONG silence during the ATFR was an act. Rachel should have pointed out the hypocrisy that is being ignored throughout the country today such as our very own president defending a KKK member for decades who was also a Senator during the time he was. I am willing to bet just about anything that Matt James AND Mr. Acho voted for him. Where is the outrage from these two and Ms. Lindsay about that?
kayakguy
March 16, 2021 at 1:46 PM
Most boring season ever is now done. Now I can look forward to bing watching Bachelor Australia or Canada.
fishbelt
March 16, 2021 at 2:04 PM
The Bachelor needs to stop picking Mama’s boys. Matt was a close second to Pete. I thought he was going to give the diamond to his mom. And, BTW, Mom has issues and shouldn’t have shouldered them on Matt right at the end.
Acho looked ridiculous in that suit and that was an absolutely horrible ATFR.
Won’t watch Kaitlynn and Tayshia hosting. Kaitlynn is just not likeable. I’ll watch BIP and that’s it.
Hey, how many of you come here for Steve’s bball picks? Thought so.
IMO, Matt needs to go grow up with Tyler, and Rachael’s better off.
lucyw4
March 16, 2021 at 2:23 PM
Why oh why would such an attractive man sport the most unflattering beard anyone has ever seen. It glistened all night and looked just like the fake disguise men wear when they’re shown in silhouette, in the dark, with their voice altered on a true crime show.
iampunka
March 16, 2021 at 2:39 PM
lucyw4, it’s because that AFTER show was a true crime show. Rachael got bloodied on national TV, and Matt chose to just let her bleed out. He gave nothing emotionally, but distance and coldness. Closed off man-child.
And those of you ripping Acho, get over it. He was perfect to handle the way the After was going to go down. Who cares if his clothes were tight. Former NFL Player and a big man. But one who addressed tough topics well, and asked good questions of Rachael and Matt.
fishbelt
March 16, 2021 at 2:54 PM
Jesus forgives. Matt James does not.
justsaying
March 16, 2021 at 3:18 PM
Matt, you did Michelle DIRTY. You did Abigail DIRTY. How could you, how could you, how could you!!
shellylite
March 16, 2021 at 7:05 PM
Acho did a good job on the show, but the whole thing was totally awkward, and didn’t make for a good TV show. It was not a conversation that solved anything racial and in the end it came off sexist, IMO, two men sort of telling a woman she’s not perfect enough.
I wonder how involved production was in Matt’s behavior overall. So Michellesaid asked to speak to Matt, and he refused. Matt’s answer to her saying that was something like, “If I had known that I would have tried harder to talk to you”. That was the gist of it. Which made me think that he was not allowed by the show to talk to Michelle at that point, and that he would have pushed them to talk to her if he’d known how badly she was doing. It struck me as a weird response to give, if talking to her had been up to him.
joanne
March 16, 2021 at 8:56 PM
Emmanuel posted a video saying Michelle really wanted to speak to Rachael. So during a break he let producers know and then asked Rachael if it was ok. She agreed and the two women had a good conversation and embraced. They had been friends and they reconciled. I’m angry that ABC didn’t show this. Emmanuel emphasized how forgiveness and reconciliation are so important.
Of course there was no forgiveness from Matt. He came across very poorly, both in the disgraceful way he treated Michelle and also Rachael. I can understand if he doesn’t want to resume the relationship, but he wouldn’t even make eye contact or give her credit for taking responsibility and encourage her to keep growing.
And for Michelle to go from thinking she had a good chance at a future with Matt to being dumped and left alone in a room within five minutes was very cruel and heartless. Then he wouldn’t even meet her again for two minutes when she requested it. And she was gracious with him and forgiving.
Michelle is so deserving of a kind, loving man and I hope she finds him.
One other note about last night. I thought it was extremely inappropriate for Matt’s brother to question Rachael about past relationships. Matt had every right to, but his brother was way out of line.
joanne
March 16, 2021 at 9:03 PM
Emmanuel posted a video saying Michelle really wanted to speak to Rachael. So during a break in taping he let producers know and then asked Rachael if it was ok. She agreed and the two women had a good conversation and embraced. They had been friends and they reconciled. I’m angry that ABC didn’t show this. Emmanuel emphasized how forgiveness and reconciliation are so important.
Of course there was no forgiveness from Matt. He came across very poorly, both in the disgraceful way he treated Michelle and also Rachael. I can understand if he doesn’t want to resume the relationship, but he wouldn’t even make eye contact or give her credit for taking responsibility and encourage her to keep growing.
And for Michelle to go from thinking she had a good chance at a future with Matt to being dumped and left alone in a room within five minutes was very cruel and heartless. Then he wouldn’t even meet her again for two minutes when she requested it. And she was gracious with him and forgiving.
Michelle is so deserving of a kind, loving man and I hope she finds him.
One other note about last night. I thought it was extremely inappropriate for Matt’s brother to question Rachael about past relationships. Matt had every right to, but his brother was way out of line.