You mentioned “Love Island” in your reader emails and how what’s happening off-screen (I.e. on social media) is more interesting than what’s happening as of late on screen. Couldn’t agree more (though I do love the show). It seems like all the girls who got booted off are going SCORCHED EARTH on the show and the other contestants via social media.
-Leslie admitted (via Instagram stories) that she got kicked off because of her weed pen. See I heard something different, but I don’t even know if it’s true. I heard she got kicked off because she told Korey that Will and Kyra knew each other pre show. But if she said it was her weed pen, then maybe that’s it.
-she also said she would have rather coupled with Genny than any of the guys but the show wouldn’t have it because it’s a “hetero show” (her words). That doesn’t surprise me.
-Genny’s popped off about most of the guys and production. Another thing that doesn’t surprise me.
-Flo popped off about Will Didn’t hear that.
I guess my questions for you are: why is this so different from bachelor/ette contestants? No way in heck that a Bachelor/ette contestant would shade most of the cast and producers on their social media after getting booted. Is it because LI is happening/filming in real time? Is it because LI had a less-strict contract? Is it because LI doesn’t have any spin-off shows so the contestants know they are done with the show and producers as soon as they leave? Those are all possible. But they are definitely allowed to media right away so I guess that could be a reason. And it certainly seems like the contract is less strict because those people are pretty candid.
Also, how come they allow limited drinking on LI? It seems to me they would get more drama if they allowed more alcohol (a la BIP) but a few of the contestants have mentioned how little alcohol is allowed. I think a lot of reality shows are starting to curb the drinking because, as we know, it can cause some really shitty behavior and I think they just want to avoid that.
Have you heard of contestants from any other show (Bachelor, Challenge, etc.) trying to sneak on weed/substances? Do you think production turns a blind eye for some contestants (especially if weed, etc. is legal where they are filming)? I just find it hard to believe that Leslie from LI is the first person to get caught with contraband and be unceremoniously kicked off a show.
Comment: I’ve heard it for the Bachelor in the past. They were pretty tricky about bringing it on, but it’s funny, I don’t even remember who it was. I just remember hearing the story.
Been a fan from afar for many years but have never emailed or commented but I’m curious if you felt the same inkling I did. Greg planned this. Seems farfetched, I know but the whole time I watched their eventual breakup I thought to myself, “He’s trying setup himself up as the next Bachelor.”
-How does a guy who has been depicted as fairly calm and stable throughout the season suddenly have a full on meltdown over Katie’s lack of reciprocity?
-A 28 year old person with previous dating experience runs at the first “televised” sign of adversity between him and a woman he supposedly loves? He must have a warped sense of what a relationship is.
-The repeated focus on his hole in his heart, his love, his pain, his loss of his father. It all felt like he was trying to garner sympathy votes.
-Something about him leaving prior to overnights makes me feel like he’s trying to be the next Bachelor as well (in my unsubstantiated opinion of how they pick and choose their Bachelors.)
Then again I could be completely wrong based on how Bachelor Nation is taking it. He does not have overwhelming support. I still feel like he gambled on it and it failed. Just my cheap two cents. I guess we’ll never know. Every guy that goes on this show thinks about it at least. And if you’re in the final four, you know you’re a serious contender. I have no way to know one way or another if that was seriously Greg’s plan, and I highly doubt he’d ever admit it even if it was.
BTW, in terms of the whole scandal from earlier this year, we all make mistakes! Based on how you generally defend everyone involved with the show, even the villians, I don’t think you were trying to do anything shady at all. You definitely have my support! Keep up the entertaining work!
Comment: Thanks. I think when that all came out, there were a few people that didn’t do their research or look at my track record. And that was unfortunate. But I’m better now and am moving on.
On FBoy Island (which we are watching because of you), do you think Garrett and Lauren are in cahoots? My husband is convinced. He is also very interested in what you have to say.
Comment: I would’ve thought that after watching that awkward FaceTime call with Sarah. However, once Lauren started shading him on IG when the episodes came out, that doesn’t line up with them being in on it. If that were the case, you’d think he would’ve gotten back from the show and gotten with her. But that’s not what’s happened.
Wanted to thank you for your fantastic recent interview with Emily re the Delta variant of COVID. She explains things so well and gave some information I didn’t readily find in the news. Your questions were also spot on and really represented what a lot of us have been wondering. I loved it so much I listened to it twice!
I’m sorry you had to cancel your party this year. The interview actually made me more confident in my decision to postpone my wedding again (originally 2020, postponed to October 2021 and now postponing it to 2022) which was an agonizing decision but feels like the right thing to do.
I also enjoy your content on the Bachelor franchise of course but this topic has been so top of mind lately and Emily gave such great & detailed information (based in science) that I am super grateful! Please express my gratitude to her as well 🙂
Comment: Thanks. Even better was that I mentioned during that podcast a pregnant woman had emailed me a week earlier asking about if the vaccine was safe for pregnant women, I texted Ashley Spivey because she had a ton of it on her IG stories but I couldn’t find it. So she sent them to me, I passed it on to the woman and she emailed me back like an hour later and said she’d made her appointment to get vaccinated based on the info I sent her.
So come this past weekend after the Emily podcast dropped, two more women emailed me thanking me for having Emily on and they said they made their vaccination appointment after listening to Emily. I forwarded those on to her and she was very excited to hear that. I just hope people would take the time to listen and not only read what’s out there, but KNOW what you’re reading. Where is it coming from? Is it some random site that no one’s heard of? Who is pushing that info out there? I think too many people don’t want to read past headlines nowadays, and that’s dangerous. I mean, when the American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists and the Society of Maternal-Fetal Medicine are releasing statements that the vaccines are approved for pregnant women, why are you gonna listen to some yahoo online, or some click bait headline, etc? That’s what I mean when I hear people say they’re not getting it because “I heard it causes autism and infertility, etc,” these people are reading misinformation. I just wish that people who tout misinformation online should suffer more of a penalty than they are right now. It’s hurting a lot of people and confusing a lot of people when it doesn’t need to be.
Watched with a group of women last night… we all think Katie’s attack on Greg was over-the-top-inappropriate, and that she’s out to lunch. And she’s supposed to be in love and happily engaged to “her person?” Something’s not right there for her to still be that upset and be that bitter. She was the one acting last night, when wishing him well in the future.
We also laughed at the way ABC added the clap track at times to her attacks to portray her as the victim in this… one edit was exceptionally poor and obvious. You’ve always preached the manipulation in editing. We witnessed it last night in sound editing too.
Comment: But I heard clapping after Greg said stuff as well that was clearly piped in. So I heard it for both.
Thanks for all your hard work this season and every season. I have lots of thoughts about the past two weeks.
Katie sure seemed awfully bitter on AFR for someone who claims all of their feelings for Greg left when he did. Also, wasn’t her saying that sentence making her exactly what her gripe with Greg was? That it was so easy to flip a switch so he obviously never had those feelings for her? I think she said that solely to offend him, not because it was the truth. I find that evil.
When Katie said he was a Jersey boy so he therefore could not be shy on TV…….. are those things mutually exclusive? Seemed accusatory to me. A trend with her.
Katie is sending things down a slippery slope using the word gaslighting (and mis-defining it, nonetheless). Every argument between couples is not gaslighting! He didn’t gaslight her, he felt like she wasn’t listening to his needs! Good on Greg to say he didn’t have regrets. Agree with that. She isn’t clear on what the definition is and shouldn’t have used it.
Blake is a lemming if he doesn’t realize he was a third choice. I do think Katie and Blake are the most compatible, but had Michael and Greg not left I don’t see him winning. Don’t agree with this at all. Greg doesn’t either. The guy literally said on Nick’s podcast yesterday he saw it with Blake and he realized it probably wasn’t gonna be him.
Katie’s aunt??? She wasn’t demonstrating a strong female family like they had hoped. I think she just looked like a grade-A b-word. Apple. Tree. All I’m saying.
Did you see the tweet Chelsea Vaughn liked? Something along the lines of, “Katie, this isn’t coming across like you hoped it would. Maybe Matt’s women were onto something with her.” Katie is definitely not a girl’s girl like she may want to portray.
Lastly, what in CREATION was that final dance with the beatboxes!!! I was hiding under my blanket.
Thanks for your input. You rock.
Comment: There’s a lot here, and clearly you’re anti-Katie. Which is fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I just don’t see it as extreme as you did.
I’ve been reading for a while but never bothered to email, but the Katie and Greg situation has been upsetting to see, namely all the hate and toxicity on social media, and I need to get my thoughts out somehow. Just a few thoughts I’ve been having:
1. No matter what your thoughts on the situation, why do people feel the need to spread hate? We don’t know these people. This is an edited TV show. And regardless of all of that, what benefit could your hateful comments possibly have? All they do is spread toxicity and harm and further the divide in our society. Why can’t people just keep their hateful opinions to themselves. As they say, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Agree. Pretty much said that exact same thing yesterday. It’s why social media is the greatest invention and also the worst at the same time. Because everybody that has an account thinks that people care what they think on every topic. And, for the most part, people only jump on social media to bitch at someone or at something. And unfortunately, it’s not changing anytime soon no matter how many people preach to be kinder. I’ve basically lost hope for that.
2. The number of people calling Katie “crazy” or “insane” after last night has my blood boiling. This reeks of internalized misogyny- a woman expressing her valid anger and emotions is not “crazy”. I have not seen a single person call Greg crazy or insane. You can dislike Katie without saying misogynistic things like this. We need to retire the narrative of women having strong emotions being “crazy”. You don’t see anyone saying the same thing to men who act that way. You’re preaching to the choir. Maybe go have a drink with the previous emailer.
3. Can we stop the whole “teams” thing? Enough with the “team Greg” or “team Katie”. This is a complicated and nuanced situation and neither one is 100% right or 100% wrong. Saying you’re on a “team” is just toxic and contributes nothing to the narrative. If you want to say something, explain with valid and non-hateful arguments why you feel a certain way about one vs the other, don’t just say you’re on a “team”. That’s impossible for people to do nowadays. Everyone has to dig their heels in on every debate and defend their belief like they’re on their deathbed. It’s sickening.
4. I don’t understand why people bend over backwards to defend Greg (or, to be fair, Katie) when they don’t even know him. I see comments like “Greg wasn’t acting” or “Greg clearly loved her” like how do you know what Greg feels or what Greg was doing? Are you Greg? Do you know Greg? Some of these comments are such leaps and I just don’t understand it. You can discuss the behaviour you see, but don’t make comments about what they’re thinking or feeling when you literally have no way of knowing that. I mean, it all depends on how they write it. Saying the word “clearly” is wrong. You’re not him. But if you say you think he loved her, that’s just an opinion. But yes, people are getting carried away. My opinion was that he knew he wasn’t getting engaged to her in the long run and didn’t see her as his future fiancé, so he bailed. That’s how I feel. And a lot of others do as well. And we’re basing that off things he said and did. Has he said he hasn’t? No. And probably never will. But that’s our opinion. Maybe it’s wrong, but, we’re not saying it’s 100% that’s what happened because we’re not him.
5. It drives me crazy when people only use specific points to validate their arguments and leave out everything else. I have seen so many people defend Greg after last week by talking about how Katie didn’t respond well to him in the hometown conversation and then completely leave out the argument they had the next day. Like yes, I think we all agree Katie didn’t react the best. But that’s not the problem. The problem is how Greg acted the next day. Leaving that entire conversation out just undermines the credibility of your argument. Of course it does. People do that all the time when presenting an argument. They don’t ever take into account another side. It’s their side and nothing else. And anytime anyone does that, I just tune them out since it’s coming from complete bias and they aren’t being objective. But that’s the #1 problem with discussing any opinion you have in this franchise now. People don’t want to listen if it’s not of the opinion they have. And that really goes for anything right now, especially in the political world. It becomes pointless.
Anyways, I have a lot more thoughts but this is the gist of it. I think Katie is a strong and empathetic woman and does not deserve the hate she’s getting. I’ve seen so much more hate for Katie than for Greg- even people who don’t agree with Greg generally seem to try to understand where he was coming from but Katie is not afforded the same grace by people who disagree with her. Case in point- I agree much more with Katie but I don’t think Greg is a bad person; he acted badly, clearly has trauma that needs to be dealt with, and should be called out for his actions. If we can afford Greg the benefit of the doubt, why can’t we do the same for Katie?
Comment: Lets also not forget, women take it way worse than men in this franchise. That’s been proven time and time again by fanbase over the years. Even guys that are legit villains of this show have women that fawn all over them. But a woman that’s a villain is held to such a much higher standard than their men counterparts.
All I can say is, what the crap just happened.
Katie: talking over Greg, interrupting, accusing him of things, feeding into the social media frenzy to take him down, raising her voice, telling him he doesn’t know what love is, not looking at him while he is speaking, obnoxious head nods to make her points, saying her feelings left when he did (she just got mad at him for losing feelings in a heartbeat… anyhoo…….), preemptively claiming him as a villain, accusing him of acting and therefore invalidating his real emotions, using buzzwords to get an applause, using one-liners that are not accurate, asking why Greg doesn’t seem happy when he just opened up about his dead father.
How can anyone defend her? That’s it. That’s the email. I really hope she reads these.
Comment: How can anyone defend her? Really? That’s your take? Sounds like you’re really open to having a discussion about this. SMH.
Hey Steve – great job this season; really enjoyed reading your perspectives. I agree with you about the Katie/Greg nonsense. Neither was right, neither was wrong. They both could have handled it differently. I can’t help but wonder what the entire fight looked like…I believe you said it was 3 hours? Regardless, though, based on their reactions after seeing it at ATFR, seems like what was shown was pretty representative of the entire argument. A point of view or “explanation” that I haven’t really seen floated much, is that to me, Greg seemed embarrassed. He kept saying, “I just told my family I’m going to marry you,” like THAT’S what he was really upset about. What do you think? If he kept his cool, perhaps he would have gotten the validation he was looking for in private, during fantasy suites. But then Aunt Lindsay surely would have made him cry, so who knows. Either way, they both dodged a bullet. What a cluster. Looking forward to putting this season behind us; and honestly, rooting for Katie and Blake. Personality wise, they really do seem to be a good fit. Blake encourages her confidence; Greg made her question herself. No one deserves that. Thanks again Steve!
Comment: Yeah at the end of the day, Katie and Greg weren’t a match and weren’t a good fit I don’t feel. If Katie wanted to be with Greg she would’ve picked Greg. If Greg wanted to be with Katie and she was his one, he wouldn’t have left. Seems simple but she’s with Blake because she wanted to be with Blake. And vice versa. People wanting to claim Katie really wants to be with Greg are seriously out of their mind and are anti-Katie.
Long time reader, first time emailer.
First just want to say that Katie and Blake have made so much sense since the beginning, so glad that’s who she ended up with.
The real reason I’m reaching out is I work in advertising and a huge part of my job is to analyze television ratings and try and explain to my clients why their advertising money is still worth it as ratings continue to drop, so I always enjoy the ratings story you tell each week about the episode. Every week you compare to what’s on that night and note it’s the highest rated of the evening (outside of olympics) and one of the highest rated network television show of the summer, which is a story I love to use when explaining ratings to my clients. Another thing worth noting is the fragmentation of the viewers. Especially since the pandemic, a lot of viewers have cancelled their cable subscriptions and shifted over to watching digitally, whether it be on Hulu or the ABC app, or even any of those live tv apps (ie Sling), all of which don’t get included in the Nielsen ratings. Delayed viewing also isn’t included in those initial numbers, whether it be those that watch later that night or later in the week. All of these things go into a networks decision to renew or cancel a show, so while the Nielsen ratings don’t look great, those digital numbers are still driving viewers and may even make up for the drop off. It’s why you no longer see shows being cancelled after 2 episodes, with networks normally waiting to see if there’s any digital streaming surge at the end of the season.
Just wanted to share some insight! Thanks again for all you do and always love your insight. Now onto paradise!
Comment: Excellent point. Yes, the ratings that come out the next day are everyone who watched the show the previous night. But there are so many other ways to watch, and there are ratings for shows watched within 3 days and 7 days. So all of your points are valid and taken into consideration.
After seeing Justin on the couch with Katie Monday night, he came across as so incredibly genuine. Any chance he could be in the bachelor running, or do you still believe it will be Michael?
Comment: Anyone who finishes in the top 4 is technically in the running. I’ll just say I’d be completely shocked if Justin is the Bachelor.
Thank you as always for giving the spoilers for each season of the Bachelor, Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise. Congratulations on another successful spoiler this season!!
I wanted to share my take on the Greg and Katie footage from the ATFR last night as I’m sure many will. I agreed with several of the things you said in your column today. I truly do not understand why people have to vocalize their thoughts on what happened so harshly on social media. Anyway, this was my take on what happened last night. I think that Katie reacted the way that she did last night because it was all fresh in her mind since she had rewatched the footage moments before seeing him again. However, she definitely came on a bit strong and the term gaslighting is a bold one about one fight. I think Greg certainly didn’t go about things in the right manner either. I believe they were both wrong for different reasons. The way that he just left when the going got tough proved that he was never willing to get engaged to her. In addition, I believe that he didn’t care about Katie’s journey as a whole because he didn’t want her to explore the rest of her connections. If he really loved her, he would have respected her wishes to not say I love you until she knew he was the one. I also did not like how Greg was very dismissive last night toward Katie. The fact that he was at a loss for words shows me that he knew he could have handled things much differently. He should definitely have some regrets contrary to what he said when they asked him if he had any! I do believe that Greg needs a lot of help though. I think he is not emotionally ready for a relationship. I hope that he takes the time that he needs to figure things out. I wish him nothing but the best. On the other hand, I believe Katie was very hurt by what Greg did rightfully so. I think she gave him as much validation as she could throughout the entire season. It was clear as day that she liked him a lot. What I think she did wrong was coming at him defensively last night. She made many great points as you mentioned in your column I just think she came across more aggressive. If she just had a more cordial stance and said I wish you the best and I am happy now then it would come off better for her. I do believe that the chatter on social media about Greg’s acting school and stuff definitely played a role in her reaction as well. I do wish her and Blake the best. I do think that they are a good match since they both have bold personalities and seem to be very passionate people.
I have a few questions to ask about some current events.
1. Do you think that Greg and Bri got together in NYC so that Greg could get some advice on how to handle being apart of the franchise? I thought that might have been it or to take the attention off of the ATFR conversation with Katie? I was curious if you had any thoughts on this? I can’t speak to any ulterior motives for why they met up. She’s got a boyfriend so he just said they’re friends and they hung out one night with her and her friends. People read into it way too much and Bri and her mother shut that down pretty quick.
2. I also wanted to say that I loved Tayshia and Kaitlyn as hosts this season. I think women supporting other women in this climate is perfect. I know they won’t be back for Bachelor but do you think they would bring them back for Bachelorette after Michelle’s season as cohosts since it would give the leads a more realistic approach of the process since both of them are former bachelorettes? I have no idea what the plan is going forward after Michelle’s season right now.
3. I am sure Blake and Katie will address this in interviews but, I was just curious if you had any insight on how they were able to see each other while the show aired? I know Canadian Borders were closed until yesterday. He answered it yesterday. He’d come to the US (he didn’t say specifically where but we’ve known that to mostly be in CA in the past), they’d spend 4 or 5 days together, then he’d go back to Canada and have to quarantine for 14 days. Then once that quarantine was over, he’d come back to see her.
4. Last question I promise, are all of the BIP couples from this season still together? Yes.
I hope your week is going well. I had a quick question about contestants being required to attend tapings after the main production of the show has concluded (i.e. Men/Women Tell All, After the Final Rose). Obviously, this pertains to Greg being present at ATFR last night, in that obviously he knew by showing up he was going to have to confront Katie and get a big dressing down/read the riot act and more or less fight a losing battle on national television. I’ve never seen the supposed contract the contestants sign before going on the show, but I’m wondering if there is a clause that mandates that they make themselves available for any ancillary tapings and press/promotional events. Thus, my questions are (1) are they mandated to be there by contract?; and (2) do you know of anyone from the franchise in the past who fought it/did not show up despite production wanting them to be there, and if so, was litigation threatened (as I believe I’ve heard you say in the past the contract does have a liquidated damages provision of approximately $100,000 per “breach”).
I also heard that Greg might be making the podcast rounds in the next week or so to more clearly get his side of the story out, do you know if that’s the case?
Much appreciated and thanks for doing what you do,
Comment: Yes, you are required to come to the ancillary tapings. How much they enforce that, I’m unsure of because we have seen some people not appear and never given a reason as to why. And yes, Greg did Nick’s podcast yesterday and basically realized how bad he came across in his argument with Katie and admitted to projecting onto her. Now, whether or not he’s saying that now to save face or what, to me, it seemed genuine. So everyone who said Greg did nothing wrong and Katie is the worst human ever, what’s their response now? Greg admitted he didn’t handle that well at all and apologized. Even if you think he’s doing it to save face, he at least admitted wrongdoing. So if the guy in question realizes he didn’t speak to Katie properly, why are other people saying he did?