Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 18 - Michelle

The “Bachelorette” Michelle – Episode 5 Recap, Hannah Brown’s Book, & “Reader Emails” on Tomorrows Podcast So Get Your Questions In Today

Photo Credit: ABC

-Time for the group football date with 9 men, and man was I disappointed that these guys were gonna get to be at US Bank Stadium, yet, no football would be played. I really was looking forward to possibly seeing Kirk Cousins overthrow these guys as well. High comedy. But alas, they give us real Vikings. Or guys who think they’re Vikings. They come out and make the guys do things that Vikings do, you know, chuck a piece of wood, eat Nordic fish heads, and arm wrestle. Is that what Vikings did? Frankly, I have no idea what the life of a Viking consisted of. I just thought they had cool hats. Or whatever they wore on their heads. Then again, anything before about 1950 I’m blown away by how humans even lived and survived on a day to day basis. Ok, maybe a little before 1950. But you talk about the 1800’s and before that? I don’t get it. My mind explodes thinking about that time and how people lived. Kinda like how my niece and nephew now don’t understand how I grew up without the internet or a cellphone.

-Clayton chucked his piece of wood the farthest because, well, he’s physically the most imposing man there. He also let out a yell that could be heard in Eden Prairie I believe. As for his arm wrestling match vs Martin, that was pretty much a blowout as well. The Vikings awarded Clayton the “Ultimate Viking” Award and now FINALLY all of you can stop asking me why Clayton was chosen as the next “Bachelor.” Don’t you see? Why it’s because he’s the Ultimate Viking. Duh. I know I’ve said this a few times, but I’ll say it again. There was never anything that Clayton did this season that was ever going to make anyone say, “Oh, so THAT’S why he’s the next Bachelor.” There just wasn’t. He’s just a guy that they chose. They don’t need to some reason because they’ve never given the audience ANY reason why they’ve chosen ANY Bachelor over others outside of the same generic response. He’s a dude, they think you’ll like him, and that’s that.

-At the after party is the first time we really got to see any side of Clayton all season long. Michelle told him he was at the forefront of her mind when the date started, yet didn’t tell us why really. Here’s something I noticed last night about Clayton. Maybe you picked up on it, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you found it endearing or maybe you didn’t. He doesn’t strike me as the most confident guy in the world. He even asked Michelle how she can be so confident all the time, and that said a lot to me. Which, I guess if we’re judging Bachelors, would you rather have someone that knows he could have women fawning all over him at the drop of a hat and knows he’s hot shit, or, would you rather have a more humble, less confident dude that seemingly gains confidence as the season goes on? Everyone’s taste is different, but I guess I’d rather watch the latter. Because the former, to me, isn’t the most believable in that role.

-Lets also not forget something I’ve said for at least the last 10 years once I started understanding the show better. The lead doesn’t matter. Casting is what makes the show. When you talk about the show the next day with your friends, you’re very rarely talking about what the lead did the night before. No, you’re talking about the drama in the house, or what one of the contestants said or did the night before. You know, like Chris S last night. So Clayton doesn’t HAVE to jump off the screen at anyone and scream he’s the perfect Bachelor etc. He’s just there as part of the story for the other women, since you’ll be much more invested in them. Maybe by the time his time on Michelle’s season is done, you’ll be rooting for him more. Or maybe you won’t. Everyone’s jumping on this “why did they choose him” train, and I guess I just don’t let my brain go there since I know we’ll never get an answer as to why other than something generic. They chose who they chose for whatever reason they wanted, and they don’t need to justify it to the audience.

-Brandon was up next for his alone time with Michelle and she gives him some more Nordic fish, although this time it was in the form of candy. Because God forbid she gave him more fish to eat then they make out afterwards, that might’ve been the most disgusting thing this shows ever done. During this time, Brandon even told Michelle “I know we’ll end up together at the end.” That seemed kinda out of left field for a guy who hasn’t had a 1-on-1 date yet, although he did get back-to-back group date roses. Still, we’ve only seen a physical connection between these two through 5 episodes, so I guess next week we’ll get more since his 1-on-1 is next week where he meets her family. You know, the one I had misidentified as Peter back when it happened.

-We got short clips of Casey, Martin, Rick, and Rodney getting their time with Michelle, but the afterparty was all about Chris S. and him weirding out over what happened last week. I can’t be the only one that was completely put off by this storyline, right? It’s so bad, it’s so forced, and honestly, it made zero sense. Chris S. is acting like he was some savior last week telling Michelle that Nayte was overconfident, and now he’s basically pissed she didn’t listen to him and he has a 1-on-1 the next day. There’s like 100 things wrong with this and the funny part is, Chris S. didn’t see any of them. He just went along as a producer puppet and got played like a marionette. Every single producer on that show knew that Michelle was into Nayte 1000x more than she was into Chris, yet, they absolutely set him up to fail by letting him think he was doing some noble act by “warning” Michelle about Nayte.

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. fancyface

    November 17, 2021 at 11:19 AM

    Hey Steve, I don’t think Brandon said he knew they’d end up together. I think he said, “I don’t know if we’re going to end up together at the end, and I know you have to follow your heart but I’m investing myself…”

    Thanks for your recaps and the hot goss ?

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