Here are the emails I received after last night’s episode aired. There’s no need to add anything to these since I already gave my thoughts on the matter. So I’m not ignoring any questions you have in there, just wanted to give you readers an idea of what the response I was getting from last night:
Hi Steve,
I am in shock after watching that man! His behavior in front of the camera was horrific…a masterful manipulator! I can only imagine what he must be like behind closed doors! I can’t believe an ex hasn’t come forward before this with horror stories about his abusiveness! Suzie has to be thankful to have gotten away. You could tell with Rachel and Gabby it was all intentional on his part. An excuse to F..k them both, by saying he loved them both. It was all planned. Then proceed with Suzie….
He didn’t love any of them. Nothing but a womanizer. I am so sorry Steve, I am just so angry right now. The interaction that Suzie and he had, needs to be broken down by a professional as a teaching lesson for ALL women and I guess for men too. We all need to learn from this.
Thanks for listening.
______________________
Steve,
Thanks so much for your spoilers today. I watched tonight, and WOW. I thought Clayton was mostly sweet and genuine throughout this season, but he came off like a straight up sociopath with Susie tonight. If he really loved her, where was the concern for HER and how she was feeling? He twisted everything around, made it all about him, and blamed her for basically quitting on him? Not to mention how pissed off and cold he seemed. Maybe deep down, he was frustrated that he felt production set him up to fail or something (by maybe encouraging him to explore and open up to all the women and purposefully putting Susie last), but he took everything out on her and did not take responsibility for any of his own part in it. It will be so interesting to see after that dinner how they are even remotely able to convince Susie to give it another try. Awful, awful look for Clayton. No other way to put it, in my opinion. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for everything!
______________________
Steve,
This is a comment, not a question, so do with this what you will. I’ve been watching the bachelor for longer than I’d care to admit, along with many other reality shows. I’ve never in my life felt as uncomfortable and triggered watching tv as I did tonight watching how Clayton responded to Susie. I understand he was blindsided and hurt, but turning everything around on her like that and punishing her for having standards? That manipulative behavior is the absolute root of abuse. I wish the best for him in life, but it’s men like that who scare me.
______________________
Hi Steve,
Wow, it sounds like we are in for an interesting final few episodes. It’s going to be really interesting to see how viewers react to Susie “leaving” after that conversation and ultimately rejecting the proposal. Based on that clip, she took major issue with him saying he loved more than one person and sleeping with more than one person. Going back to Peter’s season, Maddie basically had the same issues and was torn apart by Bachelor nation. Statements like you know what your signing up for, you can’t control what the lead does in other relationships, etc. She took a LOT of heat for her feelings about this issue. Are those same reactions going to be applied to Susie too? Or is Susie going to get a pass? It will for sure be interesting to see how it all plays out and the reaction to what goes down.
______________________
Hi Steve –
First time writing in but I suspect your mailbag won’t be light anymore after tonight’s episode. I have given Clayton the benefit of the doubt all season, figuring the producers had to see something in him we didn’t. I never hated him. He’s not my thing, but he seemed harmless enough, and sometimes even likable. After his attempt to turn HIS actions around on Susie tonight — I’m done, and I’m so glad I read your earlier posts that she rejects his proposal (I only wish she wasn’t persuaded by producers to come back in the first place). I can’t remember which Bachelorette this happened to a few years ago, and that was a totally different situation — it was one where one of her men DID issue an ultimatum about her not sleeping with any of the other guys. And he looked like an ass for doing it, and we all supported her right to do what she needed to do to find her person. In this case, Clayton is now making this SUSIE’S fault for NOT telling him he wasn’t allowed to sleep with other women, but I totally get where she’s coming from. Why is it not OK for her to want him NOT to want to sleep with other women, without her having to forbid it? Her feelings were valid — she seemed to give him every benefit of the doubt, even thinking perhaps he was deepening his connection on these other overnights without sleeping with the women, and when she learned that wasn’t the case she didn’t fly off the handle, she didn’t call him a man-whore, she didn’t do anything unreasonable. She just said that SHE couldn’t see herself moving forward, knowing that he claimed to feel “the most” love for her (ew), but he still felt it was OK to sleep with 2 other women. And then he had a temper tantrum where he got SO angry with her for not explicitly instructing him what the rules were? Dude, take some responsibility. She didn’t have any rules. This SHOW has no rules. But she didn’t like a choice you made and so she doesn’t want to be with you. That’s allowed — but instead he was making HER apologize? The word “gaslight” gets thrown around a lot on this show and I’m not sure it’s appropriate here, but at the very least it was emotional blackmail. There should have been NO discussion of her doing anything wrong, because she didn’t. She might regret not letting him know she wouldn’t be comfortable with him sleeping with anyone else, but I’m telling you, in Bachelor Nation, she would have been descended upon by people saying she was being manipulative. I actually cannot wait to see her reject him, and after tonight, I’m really hoping she gets Bachelorette. (And normally I’m like you, I really don’t care who it is.)
And, on a final note, we know the producers edit the heck out of these shows, right? So is it possible they could edit out ALL UNNECESSARY USES of the word “like”? These conversations are, like, excruciating to listen to.
______________________
I think Clayton came off like an ass last night. Susie didn’t know what he was thinking/feeling about her and when he said he was in love with her, she acted surprised and didn’t realize it was coming. Then when he admitted to being in love with Gabby and Rachel and sleeping with them, and her reaction was normal to say the least, he turned the tables and acted like she shouldn’t be mad/upset about that. Then Susie reaction surprised me when she started to apologize and he blew her off and basically told her to leave. A woman would never accept a guy she’s dating to be with 2 other ppl and be ok with it – bachelor world or not – we have already seen this with Maddie/Hannah situation.
On camera, he appeared to be more connected with Rachel. I never saw deep connection with Susie and supposedly she’s the one he loves the most. I also think he was mad Susie didn’t react well and he couldn’t sleep with her either. He did not look good at all. Thoughts.
______________________
Hi Steve,
Thanks for all that you do for the Bachelor fans. Reading your blog definitely makes the show more entertaining.
I haven’t been watching the Bachelor or Bachelorette for long, so I’m a little confused. It seems that everyone is very upset at Clayton for sleeping with Gabby and Rachel, and taking Susie’s side. I don’t understand why people are so upset. This is a reality competition dating show. Fantasy Suites are offered to the lead and their dates to spend the night together. That doesn’t always mean sex, but it is obviously on the table for each couple. These women are coming on a show where the lead dates multiple women. Why is everyone so upset at Clayton? I’m just a little confused. I feel like Clayton is just doing what he, as the lead, has been offered to do. How come everyone is attacking Clayton? It’s not like he promised Susie that he was only going to be intimate with her, and then went before her back and slept with the other women. I feel like Susie is throwing Clayton under the bus to set herself up to be the bachelorette.
Thank you!
______________________
So, I just finished watching Tuesday’s episode.
The Suzie dinner/date/fight /breakup was was a total copy and paste from Hannah Brown and Luke P. The interesting thing is Hannah was praised for standing up to her guy and sleeping with whoever she wanted to, then sending home the Christian guy (because how dare he expect monogamy on a show like the Bachelorette).
The producers and editors of the show have given Clayton a fool edit through his whole season. They have never really shown us what kind of person he is. Due to his edit in the promos no one was ever really rooting for him because we were supposed to believe he was a total idiot playboy who couldn’t make a clear distinction between love and lust.
When it comes to Suzie, I can see why she would hope to be the only one he was in love with, and I think Clayton did do a good job of defending himself and his decisions. In the end, it was not something she could get over, and he could not change the past. It’s unfortunate that the producers didn’t allow them to have the monogamy talk earlier in the season. They knew it would blow up the relationship and it would be dramatic.
It just goes to show that this is all orchestrated to get the story and outcome that the SHOW wants and not what any of the leads or contestants want.
I think it is hypocritical for them to take suzie and make her the Bachelorette when they made Luke P look like a villan.
I actually think Suzie is probably a great girl, but I don’t think she sounds like she “believes in the process” enough to want to date/string along a bunch of guys for a whole season.
I always worry about how these contestants can go back to their regular jobs after the show chews them up and spits them out. It’s no wonder they switch over to Instagram to try to make a living.
This show isn’t real life for me. (Thank goodness) I’m just here to be entertained. Thanks for the behind the scenes info and spoilers.
______________________
Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is RealitySteve, or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.
shenanigans
March 9, 2022 at 9:25 AM
I totally understand Susie’s position. For her to move forward, she needed to be the only one he loved and slept with. However, she wasn’t going to tell him that upfront, which would come off as controlling and manipulative. Instead, she sat back and let him make his own decisions.
Once she knew that Clayton did in fact sleep with both other girls and told them that he loved them, Susie knew that they were NOT on the same page re/ what they had. She wasn’t as special to him as she had hoped to be. That’s a perfectly reasonable way to feel and I respect her for it.
For those who claim that Susie should have given him an “ultimatum” upfront, think about that for a minute. Viewers would inevitably have called her out for trying to manipulate the situation and interfere with his other relationships. To me, Susie was in a no-win situation because she was NOT the only one Clayton loved. That being said, neither of them is right or wrong to me. Sadly, Clayton simply wasn’t invested enough in Susie for her to accept a proposal.
dogmomma
March 9, 2022 at 9:49 AM
I haven’t commented on here in a while, but I also skipped a few seasons until the final 2 or 3 episodes. I agree with the first comment 100%. The whole thing was set up and it’s so obvious. If production had allowed Susie to go on the first overnight, she would have told Clay-in her feelings about him sleeping with other girls, and the entire ending would probably have been different. They wanted an ending that has never before been seen so they set it in motion. I don’t think Clay-in is a bad guy, but he definitely wasn’t Bachelor material, which may have been part of the plan to find someone without the Bachelor Nation experience. I hope he gets some counseling so he can move on. And I hope Susie stays true to her beliefs. What a shame that this show can ruin lives and turn good people into villians.
rob22
March 9, 2022 at 10:43 AM
I agree totally with RS that this whole s***-show was producer generated. They set Susie up to spiral & create this situation. And they obviously knew that Clayton was favoring Susie, so they essentially setup the relationship to fail. And killed off the “love story” that a majority of viewers are turning in to watch. What were they thinking? One thing I think people are forgetting, is that Susie, in her emotional death spiral, decided to bank the whole relationship on whether Clayton slept with someone else. She directly said that if Clayton didn’t sleep with another woman, that would validate their love. To me, that implied that she didn’t have that validation & decided to bank the whole thing on Clayton’s behavior in the fantasy suites. So, she wasn’t sure, and decided to flip that proverbial coin. Except that, as we know, the chance that Clayton wouldn’t sleep with someone else was like a coin flip where the coin lands on its edge. And if she was really wanting a relationship with Clayton, and the implication is that she really didn’t, that she was going to have to tell him her feelings in advance. I don’t know what was going on in Susie’s brain. Perhaps she did think there was a good chance that Clayton would behave as one would expect in the real world (not the Bachelor world). But in essence, in the Bachelor world, she was giving herself an exit ramp out of her spiral. Again, I don’t know if it was 100% intentional, but it did provide her an easy out. I do not have any reason to think that she was specifically making the move to open up the Bachelorette gig. But it’s hard to imagine that she didn’t consider it at all. She had several days to consider her situation. She was feeling stressed, spiraling, and wanting to get out of her emotional situation. If she gives herself an out, she doesn’t have to feel bad anymore. And, as a nice bonus, she could be lining herself up as the Bachelorette. That doesn’t make her a bad person. That doesn’t make Clayton a bad person. But I have to say that the manipulation by production of these people’s lives was pretty bad, and borderline evil.
lubozz
March 9, 2022 at 11:15 AM
Still to this day I am shocked at how this show (and the fanbase) can culture cancel Chris Harrison (and other members from BN) but don’t realize that the very show itself glorifies bullying, condensing, demeaning and other emotionally abusive behaviors. Why is one issue bigger than the other – because they are not. They are equally important and impactful in our society.
There were so many teachable moments here to explore – but instead of spending time on those like they spent the time with the Chris Harrison comments and the fallout of such they sweep it under the rug and exploit it. I have loved watching JM and have found it refreshing and like most of the readers emails have expressed the women are just so different in how they treat one another (with a few exceptions).
jlal
March 9, 2022 at 11:21 AM
I agree with everything RS said. I lean on the more negative opinion of Clayton though. I agree that he was way out of line when he tried to make Susie the bad guy instead of validating her feelings. He didn’t have to agree with them, but to turn it around to where she is apologizing, ummm hell NO. And, to say she invalidated everything they had was just, wow master manipulator range there. Plus, he was so cold and dismissive at the end it was brutal to watch. Like I said earlier, run girl run.
shenanigans
March 9, 2022 at 11:57 AM
Before ANYONE set foot in a fantasy suite with Clayton, Susie wanted to be the only one he loved and slept with. That was the standard that she was holding him to. Personally, I think it was better that she DIDN’T tell him that upfront, because we might not have seen the real Clayton (and Susie wouldn’t have, either).
As annoying as Nick Viall is, he had the right idea: only sleep with the one you really love, who you plan to propose to. Clayton wasn’t ready to take that step with ANY of these women, which is what Susie needed to know. He caused her short-term pain and embarrassment, but, in the end, she dodged a bullet. That might not have been the outcome had she given him an ultimatum.
ctrealitygirl
March 9, 2022 at 12:02 PM
This show/franchise has stooped to a new low. I hate this new practice of having the final three forced to stay together during fantasy suite week. What torture! To have to sit there and see the person return from their overnight all smiles and blushing, knowing that most likely they’d been intimate with the lead. In the past when they stayed apart, at least they rubbing their noses in it. And, I agree with RS that, knowing that Clayton’s top pick was Susie, the producers made her go last so that she’d be totally unglued by the time she had her turn. Perhaps if Susie had gone first and Clayton had professed his love for her and was intimate with her, it would have swayed him not to sleep with the other two. It was obvious last night that as soon as he saw Susie he knew she was “the one.” Why on earth would the producers want to spoil a love story? They did pretty much the same to Maddie on Peter’s season. Watching Clayton’s transformation into an angry jilted suitor was cringe-worthy to say the least. My heart broke for Susie when he turned the tables and put the blame on her. I’d say she dodged a bullet if that’s how he behaves when he doesn’t get his way. Pretty scary behavior. With all his faults as the lead, I thought he was at least very likeable. But my opinion changed after last night’s show. He deserves to leave the show alone. He was in way over his head being the Bachelor. I do hope they make better choices in the future. I’m so loving Joe Millionaire and hope they do more seasons. So refreshing and practically drama free.
justsaying
March 9, 2022 at 12:18 PM
I believe even if Clayton didn’t sleep with the other two girls, Susie will still dump him. He can never live up to her dad. Remember her dad’s her gold standard. Nobody can live up to daddy.
kaye
March 9, 2022 at 1:07 PM
I really liked Clayton until this episode. He treated Susie horribly. He wanted to F around with all the girls and got mad when she expected more from a guy who wanted to choose her in the end. Go Susie!
wisewords
March 9, 2022 at 4:48 PM
The Bachelor/ette is like a cult. Not technically a cult but functions like one in almost every way.
The WTA has turned into an episode of Jerry Springer.
The latest villain, Shanae, most likely has some type of cluster B personality disorder, like Narcissistic PD or even Antisocial PD (i.e. a sociopath). That’s why she was so calm and collected, could lie effortlessly, and didn’t seem hurt by others’ opinions of her. People like that have no feelings to hurt.
No matter what your stance is on polyamory, Clayton showed his true colors in the cold, dismissive way he treated Susie. And yes, he did gaslight her. I say, run Susie, run!
grizelle
March 10, 2022 at 9:53 PM
The lack of empathy and compassion people have for reality stars in stressful, emotional situations is so disappointing to me. I’m so tired of the division and hatred that is ruling the world these days.
grizelle
March 10, 2022 at 10:07 PM
After reading all of the fanmail… The person who started with “Here is my random word vomit on the WTA…” is totally on-point, and brings up some very good questions and interesting thoughts about Shanae. I, too, was really impressed and slightly terrified of her calm placidness during the WTA. You could tell the other women were frustrated that they weren’t making a dent in her tough exterior… it’s why they became more and more heated and hostile with her. Definitely did not go their way.
janiel
March 11, 2022 at 9:34 PM
To the emailer who wrote, “The Suzie dinner/date/fight /breakup was was a total copy and paste from Hannah Brown and Luke P. The interesting thing is Hannah was praised for standing up to her guy and sleeping with whoever she wanted to, then sending home the Christian guy (because how dare he expect monogamy on a show like the Bachelorette)…”
No, it isn’t the same. They wanted the same thing, sexual exclusivity; but what they did about it was very different.
Luke tried to tell Hannah, “Don’t do that!” He has no right to tell her what she can and cannot do. He isn’t her partner, she hasn’t promised him anything, and so he has zero right to try and dictate whom she sleeps with.
What he COULD have honorably done was what Susie did: tell Hannah not, “You shouldn’t do that; that isn’t okay!” but “I don’t feel comfortable dating somebody who does that, so I’m going to end this relationship now.”
That would have been entirely *his* right, because deciding whom he does or doesn’t want to date is entirely his right just as choosing whom she does or doesn’t want to sleep with is entirely hers. But it’s not that Luke did. It is what Susie did.
There’s no double standard here. For both man and woman, for Luke and for Susie, it’s wrong to react to somebody else’s choice by demanding that they do it your way when they don’t owe you that. But it’s not wrong to walk away from dating them anymore if you don’t care for their choices. That’s YOUR right, and they don’t get to stop you from walking away if you want to, for any reason or none at all.