Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” & Finale Update

Photo Credit: ABC

Good start to the RSVP’ing for the Fan Appreciation Party on June 3rd in Las Vegas. In the first 24 hours, we got about 25% of the capacity taken. This party will be in the same room it was for parties #2, #3, and #4, so I’m gonna cap it around 100 people. First come, first serve. If you want in, just let me know. I only have a smaller amount set aside for the time being for locals. If out of town/staters don’t fill, then I can start adding more locals. I just never know who’s going to respond. No charge to get into the party. Open beer and wine bar and there will be food. Party lasts usually about 3 hours. Your admission into the party is your flight/hotel itinerary if you’re coming in from out of town, and a screen shot of your vaxx card emailed to me. I delete it once you send it. You do not need to bring your vaxx card to the party. An email screen shot of it is fine by me. I highly doubt any of you are going through the trouble of faking a vaxx card to get into this party. Right now, there’s no mask mandate in Vegas. Doesn’t mean there possibly won’t be one by June 3rd, we just never know. But that won’t change the status of the party. Only a new variant would like it did when last years party in August was cancelled because of Delta. So fingers crossed we as a country are through any new highly contagious variants. We don’t need the masking mandates coming back again, since that’s been probably one of the biggest sticking points with people and understandably so. The messaging behind it has been so inconsistent. Hope to see as many of you there as possible.

Finale Update: Here’s where I’m at. I’m secure in saying I know how this season ended in Iceland. HOWEVER, I don’t have all the semantics of HOW we get to that point in terms of if someone left when, who met Clayton’s parents, how the final day went, etc. I know the format of how it ended and which person/s were involved. So here’s what I’m gonna do. Gimmie til next Tuesday (after the WTA airs on Monday), and if I haven’t gotten a better picture of how we get from overnight dates to the finale, I’ll just give you what happens at the end. Then we’ll just have to guess/speculate how it got to that point based on the promos and what not. I think we have an idea, but we definitely don’t have the full picture because there seems to be many moving parts.

Lets get to your “Reader Emails”…

Hi Steve –

Back when Shanae was on the show, I don’t understand why all the women didn’t ban together and go to Clayton and say “we’re all leaving the show if Shanae stays because it shows us who you are”. A “us” or “her” move. I know that producers probably wouldn’t have allowed it but it would have been much better TV because it got so old watching the villain thing.

Comment: You answered your own question. Production wouldn’t have allowed it. Also, they can’t just walk off the show. Production has all your paperwork/passports if you’re overseas, they have your phone, flight info, etc. How are they gonna get home? It’ll never happen. Especially not in basically a protest/walkout form.

Hi Steve,

Thank you for your recaps and for pulling the curtain back. It makes watching the show so much more interesting.

I don’t really have a question. I wanted to write to you about the “therapy” date. So many recaps said, as you did, that it was a joke. Some thought it was really funny. But I have to say I am appalled by it. I didn’t think I had any expectations of this show, but it turns out that I expected them to take care and not push contestants into a potentially traumatizing situation. Therapy sessions like the ones they did in this episode can be harmless fun or even harmless discomfort for contestants. But can also seriously trigger trauma responses. What we saw with Genevieve was unconscionable. I don’t know why she has her walls up, but, in my experience as a rabbi, walls are always about protection. To put her through an ambush like this (since they clearly didn’t know they were going to do therapy on the date), and then to be pressured by Clayton and the ”therapist” to “open upTM” despite her clear discomfort and unwillingness to participate is simply unacceptable. I am not saying that Genevieve has unprocessed trauma. Obviously, I don’t know her. And she doesn’t need a reason to choose not to participate (and I think even more highly of her for sticking to her guns!). But there is so much harm this could have done. And, as we all saw, Genevieve blamed herself for not being able to let down her walls with a guy she barely knows who is dating six other women and who has expressed no real interest in her (that we’ve seen). To a psychotherapist she didn’t know. On TV = in front of millions of people. And she is blaming herself. This goes so far beyond irresponsible that I can’t think of an adequate word to use.

Also, to answer your question about the psychotherapist. There is no way she was a licensed therapist. Every little bit we were shown boils down to massive ethics violations and she would be brought up before the ethics board and potentially lose her license. 1. Confidentiality. Therapists can’t even share information about past crimes perpetrated by their clients due to doctor/patient confidentiality. 2. Analyzing people she’s only seen once. 3. Pushing patients to disclose anything without establishing trust or knowing where to tread lightly. They are certainly supposed to completely back off if their patient exhibits the sort of discomfort and refusal to participate that Genevieve did. 5. Therapists will never ever tell one person that their partner is lying to them. Ever.

Honestly, I am baffled that their legal department ok’d this date.

This is a really long email, sorry. Feel free to chop it up or not post it at all.

Comment: No, you’re spot on with pretty much everything you said. The worst part was the show didn’t make it into a joke. Everything was done so seriously and like this was a real things, which made it 100x worse. But unfortunately that’s what we’ve come to expect from this show.

1) Do you know who the “performative” comment was about this week in Vienna? I wish they would’ve told Clayton, or at least the producers. (Unless it’s totally fake news just to stir things up, which it could totally be.) In my GUT, it was about Rachel. There is something so insincere about that girl. Her crocodile tears and fake story for the therapist and Clayton about being insecure and wanting to leave… Not buying it. I think the therapist saw through it as well. I guarantee that chick had zero intentions of leaving. She’s in it for the long haul and loving every minute of her 15 mins of fame. I feel like she keeps manipulating Clayton into giving her group date roses because she’s acting shy and insecure about not knowing how much he likes her. That’s the oldest trick in the Bach book. The whole, cutesy “who me?” act is real old. She reminds me of the old southern belles who would drop a handkerchief or pretend to faint just to get attention. I think the only thing she’s insecure about is that her façade will get discovered.

Like at the group date, everyone else was genuinely getting nervous about opening up and sharing (except for Sarah), and Rachel was worried she was going to say something off-brand. She said “I don’t want to say something that’s going to scare him.” Dude, just be yourself girl. Be like SUSIE. (I loved her date and the advice her dad gave her btw.) Certainly didn’t seem like Rachel to me. And considering the rest of the episode was centered around what the women thought of Sarah and how she seemingly lied about her connection with Clayton, I’m guessing it was about her.

2) I found it sad that they all ganged up on Sarah. She may have been immature with sharing details about their date, but I didn’t think she deserved that. We shall see how it all plays out I guess. Looking forward to seeing the Women Tell All when they can confront each other. They definitely bring it up there and I get the sense that Sarah is over it. Teddi went into it in even more detail on one of the podcasts this week I was told. Apparently it was actually worse than what the show made it out to be.

3) How cool was that Lady in Red performance?? (Way better than just another up and coming country singer, imho.) I think we’re about the same age, and for me that was an iconic song back in the day. Definitely was iconic back in the day.

I think that it’s gonna play out like……”Saying I love you is one of the most intimate things you can say to someone, and I was intimate with both of you”.

Cause you know it’s got to be something cheesy. This season definitely has me thinking more than any others that I’ve watched.

Thanks for blogging and keeping us all updated…..

Comment: I don’t think so because the exact quote we’ve seen in the previews where we actually see the words come out of his mouth standing there at that rose ceremony, and not a voice over, is “I was in love with her, and I am in love with each of you, and I also was intimate with both of you.”

Hello Steve!

Sending you best wishes.

Have you considered having SallyAnn Salsano for a guest? I would love to hear her experience with Mob Wives, Jersey Shore and of course Joe Millionaire. She is incredibly talented and I would love to hear her take on a number of things. It would need to be multi-parts to satisfy my curiosity. Lol I can definitely look into it.

Also, knowing you played basketball, did you witness the troubles that many athletes encounter with the potential of fame and fortune? What about for yourself? I am thinking of Lamar and others that have a downward spiral. Thankfully it looks like Lamar is on the right track. Ha ha, uhhhhh no. I wasn’t even in the same stratosphere of popularity when it came to basketball. My career ended in HS. So the only troubles I dealt with regarding that was who was gonna wear my letterman’s jacket and when I had a new girlfriend, how soon could she wear it without it coming off looking tacky. Answer: very soon.

How is your beautiful puppy?

Comment: She’s been great. Right now she’s sleeping on the couch or recliner where you’ll see her 90% of the time.

Aloha Steve,

I heard that there is a rumor that there was talk at the women tell-all about the Game of Roses Podcast and that other players were accusing someone of being coached. You made hints in your recent spoiler column that people were accused of playing a game or being a bit too intertwined with bachelor nation, but I couldn’t tell if you were hinting at that. Or if you know anything about that if this was said. No mention of podcasts or “Game of Roses” at the WTA. Because that came to mind when that info was relayed to me. I asked, and they said no. No references to any podcasts at the WTA.

I know they said they coached someone from the season but obviously didn’t say who.

I’m not sure if you guys are still friends, if not i am sorry for bringing it up, but I gotta know.

Thank you for always keeping it real! You are very much appreciated.

(Ps. They finally opened olive garden in Hawaii. I ate a bucket the tour of italy in your honor)

Comment: I’m sure it was the best damn meal you’ve ever had.

What do you think about Salley becoming Bachelorette?

Comment: Not gonna happen. Zero chance. Paradise? Sure. Assuming she’s single. I think that’s the only reason they even brought her on WTA. Why else would they?


Im a Norwegian girl and I love watching the Bachelor to observe human behavior haha. I have a direct question: Why do you think that contestants of color in Bachelor Nation have not ever reached the same level of fame and followers as white people have? (Cant be bothered to not use the term white, not that politically correct)

Is it that the viewers are just mainly white? If so, why? Is it kind of a circle where white people watch, then they make content white people like and then it goes on and on?

Comment: Yes, yes, and yes.

Hi Steve!

Thanks for the ending spoilers!

Couple comments/questions.

Have you noticed how much Amanda from Joe Millionaire looks like Vienna? I can’t get over it they could be sisters… Or twins!!!!! I see it a little bit, yeah.

In rewatching Peter’s season of The Bachelor because, well… don’t ask haha. I know he got a lot of critique for hooking up with everybody and feeding into the drama, but I do feel like he was the last “real” bachelor. He actually seemed comfortable in the role and has normal conversations with the women, laughed and didn’t have stiff body language. He got excited about things! He said more then “I like that.” He asked questions!!!!! It’s such a stark difference from the Matt James and Clayton’s we’ve been seeing. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not my favorite person, but I do like that about him!

It is fascinating to see the amount of producer manipulation on that season. I know it happens every single season but man this season really was a turning point! So many mean girls!

I love Rachel. There’s no way she’s NOT the person trained by GOR. She’s a student of the game, that’s for sure.

Anyways, I guess I’ll just end by asking you a few questions about you!!

Favorite drink (alcoholic and non alcoholic): Coke (I know. Horrible). And probably Vodka/cranberry.

Favorite restaurant (BESIDES OG) Delmonico at the Venetian. Chains: Ruths Chris, Houston’s, Cheesecake Factory.

Have you ever met a celebrity? If so, who? Mostly athletes when I was in sports. Too many to name.

Are you close to your parents? Yes.

If you were an animal, what would you be? The cheetah. Next. (What movie?)

Who does Clayton pick? Haha jkjk

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