Reality Steve

Bachelorette Gabby/Rachel Spoilers

The “Bachelorette” Gabby & Rachel – Episode 1 Recap, & Daily Roundup 7/12/22

Photo Credit: ABC

-Once inside at the cocktail party, right off the bat, they show Gabby and Rachel together talking to ROW-be and then the twins. Obviously we now know the reason for that, which was to show there was no romantic connection whatsoever, and they ended up being the only three who got eliminated last night. 29 guys left still after night one is definitely a record. This idea they kept peddling all night about how it was the most guys ever? Uhhhh, I don’t think that’s true. Clare/Tayshia’s season had more than 32 men that showed up that season. And didn’t Jillian have 35 guys on her season? I’ll get to the bottom of that one.

-Ryan tried to teach Gabby a Boston accent and, well, she was a little impatient, no? I think Ryan was on the verge of blasting a hole in the dry erase board at one point. Ok, maybe not. But ultimately, all I wanted to hear was someone say, “Paaahhhhkkk your Caaaaaahhhhh in the Yaaaaaahhhhhd.” That’s basically the universal sentence to use anytime you want to mimic a Boston accent, right?

-Shirtless Jacob read off a list of things he wanted in a woman to Gabby and one of the first ones was, “she takes care of herself physically.” Run, don’t walk, Gabby.

-Aven came off very strong last night and you can tell why he makes it to Rachel’s final 3. Dude was smooth, said all the right things, had his shit together, and just seems like an all-around good dude. So basically, just start the countdown to past problematic behavior somehow popping up in 3…2…1…

-Jordan V., the drag racer, really missed out on his opportunity with Rachel. She was impressed by him, she wanted him to kiss her, and he couldn’t help but geek out over the horsepower of his car. Jordan, if a woman is into you and giving you the eye, maybe spend less time getting worked up over being a gearhead, and spend more time attending to Rachel’s needs. Specifically, her tongue. She wanted it. And you were giving her a car lesson than was going in one ear and out the other. Missed opp, no doubt.

-Mario got Gabby’s first kiss and, ummmmm, well, lets just say we’ve seen better first kisses on this show before. In fact, probably a 100. Go rewatch. Just don’t eat beforehand. There was something incredibly off about that kiss.

-Tino then got Rachel on the steps to try and redo a wrong, since she spent some time crying on the steps last season. Lets hope this is the last reference to Clayton’s season we get. Anyway, they had a strong make out session on the steps and it was kinda obvious that 1) he was gonna get her first impression rose, and 2) he’s going far this season. You didn’t even need to have the spoilers to figure that out.

-Logan seemed smooth as well as he hit it off with both women. With Rachel, they blurted out at the same time what their biggest fear was. His was sharks. Hers was clowns. I really am amazed by how many people fear clowns. Is it their face? The makeup? The stupid red nose? Where does this fear come from? I’ve never understood it. Clowns are just silly to me. I get that some people fear them or have nightmares about them and what not, but man, I just don’t get it. There’s nothing scary about a clown to me. But hey, I empathize with those of you who are scared by them. I just need to know what it is.

-Erich also had a solid opening episode as he hit it off with both Gabby and Rachel. Got a good make out with Gabby, and probably could’ve kissed Rachel as well, but held off. Guess we can see why he lasted as long as he did this season as well. He kept talking about his mullet, but did he really have one? That didn’t look like a mullet to me. If it was, it was barely a mini mullet. When I think mullet, I think of Joe Dirt. He’s no Joe Dirt.

-So the summary of last night from entertainment sites is “Rachel and Gabby cancelled the first rose ceremony.” I mean, they didn’t really cancel it. Cancelling it would mean no one went home. Did they hand out roses? No. Which I guess if were dealing in semantics, could mean it was cancelled. But 3 guys of the 32 were still sent home, so, while a rose ceremony did take place, they just kept 29 of 32 men. They just didn’t physically hand them roses. If that constitutes a “cancelled” rose ceremony, then so be it. I just think that’s a bit extreme to say.

Get your emails in for tomorrow’s “Reader Emails,” enjoy today’s Daily Roundup, and stick around here all season as I’ll be giving you any info I find out as I get it. Could happen at anytime, so we’ll see how it goes.

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