-The group date consisted of witchcraft. Some healing witch that looked like they hired from a local acting troupe to come and pretend she could sage all the bad juju out of this date. It failed miserably and I hope Miss Witch Lady got her stipend for the day. What a waste. I can’t dissect dates like this where they look like they put it together in about 3 hrs time and there’s absolutely zero meaning behind any of it. This date was all about what happened at the after party. They made sure to show us Gabi and Kaity’s time with him, but, this was all about the Zach and Jess conversation. One that, once again, I don’t think we have the full story on. But you know who does? Nick Viall. Because he’s all knowing. And for a guy who was in the EXACT same position as Zach was once, and for a guy who constantly tells us there’s more to every story (only when it benefits his narrative), had this to say:
That’s 2 weeks in row now Zach was a total dick to one of the woman. It’s literally all about the one on one. Zach knows that. He made Jess feel like she messed up for expressing a valid concern. #thebachelor
— Nick Viall (@NickViall) February 28, 2023
Zach is acting like the guy who gets mad at his girlfriend for not letting him know she wanted validation on her birthday #thebachelor
— Nick Viall (@NickViall) February 28, 2023
The Insufferable, Narcissistic Windbag doesn’t fail to deliver once again. A “total dick?” Really? Brutal. But I expect nothing less considering who it was coming from. Here’s the reality: Jess wasn’t one of Zach’s final women. If she was, she would’ve gotten a 1-on-1 earlier. Yes, Zach downplayed how important 1-on-1’s are. But as mentioned on the last page, the format has only allowed 7 up to this point, and there’s more women left than had the opportunity to get one. So Greer and Jess are on the outside looking in. And maybe Jess saw the writing on the wall. But there’s two ways to handle that. Accept it and realize it’s a TV show and not everyone’s gonna get one, or, do what she did. I have no problem with her voicing it, but she made her whole time with him complaining about not getting a 1-on-1. How did she think that would ultimately end up going? Just like Kat making a decision to steal him before Charity’s date, you have to know your actions will have consequences. So in my eyes, Jess AND Zach were both wrong here. Zach undersold the importance of 1-on-1’s and Jess spent way too much time talking about it when Zach can only give out so many. But ultimately he was never choosing Jess in the end anyway. We don’t even know if she was even making it past this episode. If she did, she wasn’t making it to hometowns, so she’s gone next week regardless. So, once again, is it really something to get worked up over and call him a “total dick?” No, it’s not. But Nick’s never wrong, so, I guess I’m the idiot here.
-The Ariel 1-on-1 date was yet another example of how obsessed this show is with unwanted nudity on their dates. Has to be at least one a season where strangers are naked, or they make their contestants wear as little clothing as possible. Like clockwork. We don’t even know who the “Bachelorette” is yet for next season. Nor do we know who any of the guys are. Or where they’re traveling. We know nothing. But I do know this: at some point next season, there will be some sort of nudity on a group date or 1-on-1. Count on it. A nude sauna in Middle of Nowhere, Estonia, as creepy naked couple that eerily resembles Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch from the Luvvaaaaahhhhh SNL skit join them in the sauna and hot tub. Just a total bizarre date. And when you compare it to Gabi and Kaity’s 1-on-1, you can see who his two favorites are.
-You know what’s funny? When Zach at the end of his date with Ariel compared her to Sean and Catherine by saying she’s the one that’s been right there the whole time. Yet, no one will read anything into that since we know Ariel doesn’t win. But God forbid he said that about Kaity or Gabi, people would be having a field day. At the beginning of the season, they made it a point to show Sean telling Zach about someone being there that’s kind of under the radar that might be your girl, you just never know. Well he literally said that one was Ariel last night, yet, he doesn’t pick her. So once again, you can create a narrative for whoever you want to win versus who actually does. Ariel has won me over, and a lot of social media, just because she seems so down to earth and is constantly lightening the mood and cracking jokes. We just don’t see that a lot from contestants on this show. Last season I said Serene was going to be the #1 free agent down in Paradise, and she ended up getting engaged. Ariel will be this season’s top free agent down there, hands down.
-At the cocktail party, we revisited the Kat/Brooklyn feud, and I’m sorry, but this one was all on Brooklyn listening to producers telling her what to do. Charity pulls Kat aside to talk to her about what happened before her 1-on-1, which is how it should’ve been handled. A 1-on-1 private conversation in a completely different room, yet Brooklyn just decides to walk in and crash it? WTF? Awful look. First thing she says to Kat is, “Would you have done this…” and Kat storms off. Yeah, Brooklyn couldn’t have looked any worse in that situation if she tried. That was my whole issue with Brooklyn this episode. What Kat did affected Charity, not her. She made it about her because, well, I guess production told her to and it got her more camera time. That made no sense for Brooklyn to walk in on a private convo that Charity pulled Kat into another room for. So Brooklyn made a bad situation worse for no other reason that a producer probably convinced her to.
Rose ceremony time. Charity and Ariel with roses. Zach: “Hi ladies…this week has been challenging…sticking through it…appreciate what you’re putting into this…following my heart…thank each and every single one of you. Where did the nude couple go? They aren’t standing in the corner in their birthday suits are they?”
Gabi, Kaity, & Brooklyn get roses.
“Ladies, Zach, it’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. Does Greer realize (and Gabi for that matter), they are killing their social media game by having “greerio cheerio” and “sprinkling sunshine” as their IG handles? Just me? Might wanna change that.”
Kat with the last rose to the surprise of no one. Aly going home and since jumping out of an airplane on her date.
The interesting thing in the preview is that Greer is back next week, only to be sent right home. So I don’t really understand the point. Logan apparently said in his podcast interview Gabby chose to send him home once he got COVID because it was late in the process and he’d just joined. Basically saying, “I wasn’t taking him any farther.” Just seems like a kick to the nuts to allow Greer to join in Budapest only to…send her home face-to-face? We already know whatever his reason is gonna be for sending her home, and that’s “Yeah, you missed a week there and my relationships with others are further along at this point.” 1000% we know he’s telling her that next week. Oh well Cheerio Greerio. See you in Paradise.
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