Reality Steve

Temptation Island

  • Temptation Island

    “Temptation Island” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 6 Recap

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    Photo Credit: USA Network

    After the tragic denouement of last week’s episode wherein participants of this show were symbolically impaled by literal betrayal, it seems now may be a good time to regroup. So while you stretch and thank everyone in your life for never dragging you onto a reality show, I’m going to make a few predictions about what I think will happen to these people in the coming weeks:

    Prediction #1: Ashley H., who was horrifically manipulated by production via a truncated statement from Casey, will lose eight pounds of water weight through her retinas and will then sop up that sadness by hooking up with either Deac or Ben.

    Prediction #2: Ashley G. will not be able to handle Rick moving on from her, even though she was the one who banged a stranger almost immediately after arriving on the island. Between that and KB’s obvious ambivalence, she will attempt to fling herself into a simmering volcano – but she will only do it so KB will climb … Continue reading

  • Temptation Island

    “Temptation Island” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 5 Recap

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    Photo Credit: USA Network

    Before anyone who partook in the sweet little threesome that closed the last episode can shift the narrative to something that seems more convenient, let’s first be clear: not a bit of that “just happened.” There was ample time for any one of those pseudo adults to decide not to hop into a bed located inside of a room they know full well is rigged out with cameras. They could have come to their scattered senses in, say, the bathroom – you know, where the guy (the one who told his girlfriend she’s his one and only) was showering with another woman – or they could have halted things in the hallway leading to the bed or they could have ceased the debauchery as they stood around musing that they weren’t accustomed to threesomes. And yes, I know alcohol clouds things and I also know that’s why there’s so much alcohol on that f*cking island, but I will have far more respect if any of these desperate individuals … Continue reading

  • Temptation Island

    “Temptation Island” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 4 Recap

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    Photo Credit: USA Network

    It’s official: I’m throwing every ounce of my vicarious support at the people who had to be dragged kicking and screaming to Temptation Island. I wish they’d had it in them to fight back, to not allow this soul-corroding excursion to become even a possibility (they could have tried ranting, raving, or attacking their significant other with those awful tiny pinches that don’t actually hurt but still feel like momentary death), but I can’t entirely fault them for not being able to talk someone out of a free trip to Hawaii, especially one that comes with amenities like free alcohol and faux fame.

    While most of me cannot imagine I would even entertain the notion that the way to strengthen my romantic relationship would be by allowing my boyfriend to be twerked on by a gaggle of aspiring Instagram influencers, I have sometimes unhappily surprised myself with the sh*t I’ve been willing to accept from others. Still, a voyage that promises lifelong insecurity at the very best … Continue reading

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