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Photo Credit: USA Network

Before anyone who partook in the sweet little threesome that closed the last episode can shift the narrative to something that seems more convenient, let’s first be clear: not a bit of that “just happened.” There was ample time for any one of those pseudo adults to decide not to hop into a bed located inside of a room they know full well is rigged out with cameras. They could have come to their scattered senses in, say, the bathroom – you know, where the guy (the one who told his girlfriend she’s his one and only) was showering with another woman – or they could have halted things in the hallway leading to the bed or they could have ceased the debauchery as they stood around musing that they weren’t accustomed to threesomes. And yes, I know alcohol clouds things and I also know that’s why there’s so much alcohol on that f*cking island, but I will have far more respect if any of these desperate individuals … Continue reading →

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Photo Credit: USA Network

It’s official: I’m throwing every ounce of my vicarious support at the people who had to be dragged kicking and screaming to Temptation Island. I wish they’d had it in them to fight back, to not allow this soul-corroding excursion to become even a possibility (they could have tried ranting, raving, or attacking their significant other with those awful tiny pinches that don’t actually hurt but still feel like momentary death), but I can’t entirely fault them for not being able to talk someone out of a free trip to Hawaii, especially one that comes with amenities like free alcohol and faux fame.

While most of me cannot imagine I would even entertain the notion that the way to strengthen my romantic relationship would be by allowing my boyfriend to be twerked on by a gaggle of aspiring Instagram influencers, I have sometimes unhappily surprised myself with the sh*t I’ve been willing to accept from others. Still, a voyage that promises lifelong insecurity at the very best … Continue reading →

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Photo Credit: USA Network

Where last we left him, Rick was sitting beside a smoldering fire watching footage of his girlfriend of four years getting slammed by a man she’s known for four days. So what I’m saying here is that no matter how bad your week has been, Rick’s has probably been worse. But as he watches KB and Ashley writhe around under the covers, he holds it together like a champ. He does not cry. He does not scream. He does not fall to his knees to begin gathering blades of grass and small rocks and twigs that he can fashion into an Ashley voodoo doll. Instead, he informs Mark he’s not sure his relationship can recover from this, and my presumption is that any clinically normal viewer would agree with him.

“What she expected of me, she did. My heart is broken,” Rick admits. He’s calm, but maybe he’s still in shock. It’s not Rick’s behavior, however, that’s confusing me here; it’s Ashley’s. First she huddles beneath a … Continue reading →