The Bachelor 21 - Nick

“Bachelor” Nick Episode 1 Recap Incl Podcast News, Bachelor Fantasy League, & More

Photo Credit: ABC

-The intro video of Nick himself was rather hilarious because they try to make it seem like he’s a businessman in Chicago now and he’s walking downtown in the city trying to look all business-y and important-y. Ummm, not quite. He’s a model now in LA who takes shirtless pictures sitting on a window sill next to a plant to post on Instagram. That’s what he does. Lets lose the whole Chicago bit, why don’t ya? He hasn’t lived there for over a year and probably isn’t going back anytime soon if his TV career aspirations have any say.

-Then we got the clips of his time on Andi’s and Kaitlyn’s season to show us how much heartbreak he’s been through in this franchise. Granted, he hates Andi now since she sold him down the river to sell a few books and he admittedly doesn’t speak to Kaitlyn anymore. Funny, no mention of Paradise with Jen, so, I guess that wasn’t heartbreak. Of all the phoniness and fakery Nick has displayed at times in this franchise, the Jen breakup in Paradise pretty much takes the cake. So many lies behind that whole thing it’s laughable. That break up speech at the end was full of so much bulls**t, I expected it to be sponsored by a manure company. He knew exactly what he was doing heading into BIP with Jen and played her like a fiddle.

-We get Nick back at home in Wisconsin with family, and they also made sure to show Nick kicking a soccer ball and getting a lecture from younger 11 year old sister Bella, who has become a staple on these shows. I think it’s safe to say that when Bella is of age, she’s going on this show. I mean, how could she not? She’s almost been shown more times than Nick has. I think Bella certainly has learned her lesson from this show as she passes on her incredible knowledge to Nick, which is “Don’t mumble.” Sorry honey, he has a bit of a speech impediment and a lisp, so that might be hard for him not to. But look on the bright side, later this season you and your soccer team will get a free slurpee from the roller skating rink and you get to have a candid conversation with Raven, your future almost sister-in-law-but-not.

-I know it’s now a staple of the franchise to have former leads come talk to the new lead in episode 1 before they meet the contestants, but c’mon, it’s a pointless, time-eating segment that offers up nothing. And when Chris Soules is one who constantly keeps getting to come back and give advice, it really makes you question the point of the segment. You know what every single former leads message has ultimately ended up being, whether it’s the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette?” “Just be yourself.” Wow. What incredible insight. They all say the same thing. Every season. Would I expect Nick to be Ben Higgins? Sean Lowe? Of course he’s gonna be himself. It’s a completely unnatural situation to be in. I know they won’t get rid of these talks from past leads, but for my sanity, maybe they should.

-We get 10 intro videos from the girls. They are:

Rachel: Lawyer from Dallas. Not white. Probably your next “Bachelorette” as she’s been featured quite prominently in every season preview. Not to mention first impression rose receiver, final 3 finisher, and checks off the minority box for a lead that’s been left empty for only 13 years and 33 seasons now.

Danielle Lombard: Likes to brag about having run 3 businesses. I can tell you right now, that’s a lie. She’s never been a business owner. She worked for the owner very closely. But nice try anyway. And oh yeah, she’s half naked all over the internet if you google her, so there’s that.

Vanessa: Apparently the greatest human alive who can do nothing wrong if you read any of the emails I’ve received on her since I said she wasn’t the most well liked in the house. You’ll see a couple of those tomorrow. It’s started already. Someone throw scalding hot water on me. Oh well. You can’t reason with ignorance.

Josephine: The resident weirdo with the wacky intro video package. Seems to fit her character as she’s kinda out there and seems a bit goofy. Ok, a lot goofy. Like, if Disneyland needed a replacement, she could easily fill in wearing that outfit with the giant shoes. Cuck-koo, cuck-koo.

Raven: Our resident southern gal this season who hails from a town that has like 71 people in it or something. She should’ve come out of the limo milking a cow or playing a banjo. Or blowin’ in a jug. Seemed to be more fitting.

Corinne: Just…yeah. Her intro video is pretty much all you need to know about her. Spoiled brat, lives off parents money, has her own nanny, and will be the first girl on Paradise to have sex with someone this summer. I’m sure the Bachelor guys are already sliding into her DM’s to set that sh** up. Pretty much the lock of the century.

Alexis: Another one with a wacky intro video because she’s obsessed with dolphins and wants to be a dolphin trainer. Also, good looking enough to where she will absolutely be on Paradise this summer as well. I commend her for committing to her bit the whole first night. That couldn’t have been comfortable.

Danielle Maltby: Surprised she never referenced the dead fiancé in her intro video, but I’m sure it’ll come up next episode on her 1-on-1. I mean lets face it, it’s the sob story of all sob stories. Then again, Kelsey from Chris’ season actually had a dead husband and she completely embarrassed herself by the way she acted, so I guess the jury is still out. Little known fact: Very close friends with Wells and that dude from American Idol who was married to the chick from Twilight. Hell I don’t feel like looking up names.

Taylor: A mental health counselor from Seattle. The irony of all ironies is that a mental health counselor is a contestant on the “Bachelor” when she should probably be working FOR them. If Taylor lays down on her own couch and starts talking to herself, does she get billed?

Liz: A doula from Vegas. But that’s not important. What is is that she had a one night stand with Nick back at Jade and Tanner’s wedding and that pretty much dominates the first episode. I wish Liz would’ve stuck around longer. Already a favorite of mine, but two episodes is not enough. Booooooooooooo.

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  1. rob22

    January 3, 2017 at 12:11 PM

    So on the whole Liz/Nick thing. What happened, happened. She read the tea leaves and figured Nick probably wouldn’t call her if he gave him her number. And Nick wouldn’t have called her most likely, because, well because he’s Nick. So, I don’t think she misread anything. But then, it’s very weird logic to think that the next logical step is not to get his number from Jade & give him a call…. no, it’s to go on “The Bachelor”. So, and Nick is not an idiot, this was a producer generated idea to create drama & had ZERO to do with Liz’s stated excuse that she watched BIP and changed her mind about Nick. That’s just stupid. She went on the show for her own 15 minutes of fame & mainly because she was asked. And she was asked because the producers had easy access to her via Jade, knew the back story & figured (rightly) that they could build an episode or two around their history…. and it would generate some drama and … ratings! Bingo!

    So, since Nick realizes that the only purpose of Liz being there is to cause some negativity in the house that does him no good, OF COURSE he’s not thrilled that she’s there. They both did one another and said their laters. That was all there was to it. NOW she decides to come back, on Nick’s Bachelor season? I’ll bet the only reason she survived the first night is that the producers insisted on it. There is no way in hell Nick picks her otherwise. And I can’t blame him. He had to see the setup from the get go. I’d like to have been a fly on the wall when Nick “discussed” this with the producers. I’ll bet it didn’t go down all friendly like. Nick’s been around the block. He knows what the producers do. But, at this point, he’s already The Bachelor so he doesn’t need to completely bend over for them & just take it dry. I’ll bet he wasn’t pleased at all.

  2. kimmyfromdablock

    January 3, 2017 at 12:40 PM

    Taylor…mental health counselor? Could mean a lot of things, but to imply the girl is in some kinda private practice is misleading. At 23 years old, unless she started college early, she would only have a masters degree. If she had a Bachelor’s in social work, she maybe could’ve completed a master’s program and be done at 23. Still, she’d need licensing and a ton of supervised hours before she had anyone on the couch. And, let’s face it, most people aren’t seeking help from someone that young.

    Steve, why is Liz your favorite? I’m not surprised Nick isn’t or wasn’t into her beyond sex. She’s got too trashy a look for his taste or mine. Plus, girl, if he’s that into you after bedding you from night one, he’ll figure out a way to get your number whether you provide it or not.

  3. crushonspivey

    January 3, 2017 at 2:52 PM

    Not gonna lie. Looks like the worst crop of Bach’ettes ever. Was not super impressed with the group as a whole. Maybe 5 good choices out of 30, which means the producers did a dreadful job this year. And Vanessa? Meh. I give her and Nick 6 months post After the Final Rose.

    PS, Andi Dorfmann still sucks.

  4. rob22

    January 3, 2017 at 5:23 PM

    crushonspivey: I wasn’t going to say anything, but yeah. Ben’s group was really hot. I guess they decided to go in a different direction this time. I’m unsure why.

  5. tamara

    January 3, 2017 at 9:13 PM

    I can’t help but think their ratings for first episode would have been better had they chosen Luke. I mean, this is someone we feel we already know somewhat and does anyone think he is really looking for love? With Luke, while he seemed bland, there would have been some sincerity and interest in an actual relationship possibly coming out of this. I think the only person Nick will end up loving at the end of this is himself. Kind of boring. But, of course I watch anyway 😉

  6. elizabeth82

    January 3, 2017 at 10:13 PM

    I guess Steve is just super-into Liz’s look, because I don’t find her sympathetic at all (plus re. looks, her mouth is annoying, anyone hear me on that?). Nick isn’t “butt hurt” to be annoyed by her being all coy about her phone number and then showing up on this show.

    First show and half-paying attn and mostly distracted by the Shark/Dolphin: I did like Rachel, though.

  7. rob22

    January 4, 2017 at 5:57 AM

    @tamara: it’s a little hard to know how the ratings will fall out over the next few weeks. Sunday was New Years for that lame preview. Monday was a National Holiday, plus all the major bowl games were on, including an amazing exciting Rose Bowl that ran half way through The Bachelor. My son’s girlfriend was going to come over and watch The Bachelor with him, but he texted her and told her not to come because he was watching the game. A LOT of factors, and like RS said, next Monday is the National Championship game. Now, I know the demographics are not the same for these two events, but people have parties for games like this and a lot of women are into College Football. So, let it play out for a few weeks and see how it goes.

    That said, don’t most of us have DVRs, On Demand or a streaming app that would allow us to watch whenever we want? I guess a lot of people still do watch live. Personally I couldn’t stand it. Fast-forwarding through the commercials cuts out 30-40 minutes of wasted time.

  8. rob22

    January 4, 2017 at 7:01 AM

    It will be interesting, though, to see how the ratings do play out. I tend to think that if Juan Pah-Blow, Ben Flatdick and Farmer Fred didn’t kill ratings, then certainly Nick won’t create the apocalypse. But, who knows? This show has now been on 14 years. One more year an you’re getting into the territory of Gunsmoke, Lassie and Law and Order.

    It seems to me that the shift towards leads like Nick and Kaitlyn make sense for the newer generation & won’t be a real problem for current fans. At some point, though, you gotta think the show is going to fade. But I still don’t think this is going to be this year. I personally think the thing that will kill the show is staying too much with a formula to the point of boredom. The more they freshen it up with edgy leads and contestants, and more sex & drama (before the fantasy suites) the better off they’ll be. The last thing this show needs is to be boring. Anything that makes it less boring is good for them. Look at how much play Chad got in the last year, and of course, Nick.

  9. purplerayne

    January 9, 2017 at 2:40 PM

    LOL at Luke being sincere….he didnt get the gig in part to his diva requests for the show to play his music. He was using the show as a vehicle to push his career.

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