The Bachelor 21 - Nick

“Bachelor” Nick Episode 1 Recap Incl Podcast News, Bachelor Fantasy League, & More

Photo Credit: ABC

-Next is the limo entrances which are never show in the order that they actually occurred. And this episode actually had proof of that since in one limo shot, we see 5 girls talking: Dominique, Astrid, Rachel, Christen, and Whitney. However, those girls are not shown coming out 5 in a row when the limo entrances happen as you’ll see. Nice editing. Although, the average fan isn’t paying that close attention to that so I doubt they care. Since there were 30 limo entrances and not all of them were the least bit interesting, I’ll just point out the ones that caught my eye:

Danielle L.: I think Danielle got everyone started off on the right foot making sure when she put her dress on, there was more cleavage showing than in a burlesque show. Way to kick things off, Danielle! You’re the best! America already loves your girls!

Rachel: We know is a major player this season, but the opening line was corny. Cool she plays fantasy football, but “the only plays I wanna make this season is for your heart.” Meh. Stick to just playing fantasy football and back away from the metaphors. It’s not becoming of you.

Taylor: Told him her girlfriends warned her about Nick being “a piece of sh**,” but she didn’t believe them. Hey, Nick has even called himself an assh**e at times, so it’s not like they’re that far off. And since you’re the psychoanalyzer this season, I think you should give Nick pics of those giant ink blotches and try to figure him out. Because those are always helpful.

Lauren: Tells him they’re both cursed with bad last names. His is Viall and she’s Hussey. Yep. Those last names suck. But considering how much Lauren has taken to social media already to pimp herself out despite being completely irrelevant to this season, one word you also both have in common: insufferable.

Michelle: You don’t remember hers because they spent maybe 4 seconds on it since she was booted the first night, but she actually arrived in her lemonade truck and let Nick sit in it. When you come with a gimmick that big, then it’s not even shown, you know you aren’t important to the season.

Olivia: Is from Alaska, has a giant fur coat on that she must’ve killed numerous bears to get, and she does Eskimo kisses with him. Hey, is that in any way related to Eskimo brothers we heard so much about during Kaitlyn’s season?
No? Ok, I’ll move on then.

Jasmine G.: Went with the big guns and brought out Neil Lane to tell Nick what kinda ring she wanted. Cute. Hey Neil, whatever ring you had to give away in the end, be expecting it back in a Fed Ex package in a few months. You can re-sell it with Grant/Lace’s and Amanda/Josh’s ring. No skin off your back.

Hailey: “Do you know what a girl wearing underwear says? Neither do I.” Decent joke. I don’t think any guy would be turned off by that. I know I wouldn’t. However, with 8 million people watching? Hmmmmm, might wanna slow your roll a little bit.

Astrid: Spoke German and asked him, “Have you seen the breasts?” Huh? What? Where does this come from? Do Germans just go around asking people this? What breasts? Anyone’s breasts? Your breasts? Such a bizarre question. Anyway, it once again proves my theory: Germans love Nick Viall.

Liz: An awkward greeting, but not nearly as awkward as what happened later. When you have sex with someone, then you don’t speak with them for 9 months, only to show up out of a limo on a nationally televised show, it’s pretty much like standing in front of a crowded room naked. I think.

Corinne: She gave him hug tokens that he can cash in later. Hug tokens = free handy when no one’s looking out by the pool.

Danielle M.: They licked syrup off their naked bodies. Or something like that. Actually, what I learned last night on Twitter is that Danielle recently appeared in Cole Swindell’s “Middle of a Memory” video released last year:

This is basically every country slow song, right?

Raven: From Arkansas, so you knew she’s get a Pig Sooie in there. Bret Bielema would be proud. Although, he’s probably running from pissed off alums who want him strung up by his nuts after that embarrassing second half in the Belk Bowl. I’m guessing he’s not too worried about Raven this season. Is it just me or is Raven gonna give Rachel a little run for her “Bachelorette” money? I can see people getting behind both of them.

Josephine: Has a book. Has a hot dog in it. “You’re a weiner in my book.” Kill me now. Just whack me across the face with a baseball bat. My will to live is over.

Lacey: Arrived on a camel with the quip, “I hear you like a good hump.” Well, I guess it’s better to show off your camel night one than your camel toe.

Alexis: Ahhh, Alexis. The hammered one. Hell, she was even hammered when she got out of the limo before she started mainlining champagne inside. What a hot mess. Shark. Dolphin. Whatever. I’m just glad that Alexis didn’t throw in there to Nick she would like him to do the dolphin to her. Google it.

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9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. rob22

    January 3, 2017 at 12:11 PM

    So on the whole Liz/Nick thing. What happened, happened. She read the tea leaves and figured Nick probably wouldn’t call her if he gave him her number. And Nick wouldn’t have called her most likely, because, well because he’s Nick. So, I don’t think she misread anything. But then, it’s very weird logic to think that the next logical step is not to get his number from Jade & give him a call…. no, it’s to go on “The Bachelor”. So, and Nick is not an idiot, this was a producer generated idea to create drama & had ZERO to do with Liz’s stated excuse that she watched BIP and changed her mind about Nick. That’s just stupid. She went on the show for her own 15 minutes of fame & mainly because she was asked. And she was asked because the producers had easy access to her via Jade, knew the back story & figured (rightly) that they could build an episode or two around their history…. and it would generate some drama and … ratings! Bingo!

    So, since Nick realizes that the only purpose of Liz being there is to cause some negativity in the house that does him no good, OF COURSE he’s not thrilled that she’s there. They both did one another and said their laters. That was all there was to it. NOW she decides to come back, on Nick’s Bachelor season? I’ll bet the only reason she survived the first night is that the producers insisted on it. There is no way in hell Nick picks her otherwise. And I can’t blame him. He had to see the setup from the get go. I’d like to have been a fly on the wall when Nick “discussed” this with the producers. I’ll bet it didn’t go down all friendly like. Nick’s been around the block. He knows what the producers do. But, at this point, he’s already The Bachelor so he doesn’t need to completely bend over for them & just take it dry. I’ll bet he wasn’t pleased at all.

  2. kimmyfromdablock

    January 3, 2017 at 12:40 PM

    Taylor…mental health counselor? Could mean a lot of things, but to imply the girl is in some kinda private practice is misleading. At 23 years old, unless she started college early, she would only have a masters degree. If she had a Bachelor’s in social work, she maybe could’ve completed a master’s program and be done at 23. Still, she’d need licensing and a ton of supervised hours before she had anyone on the couch. And, let’s face it, most people aren’t seeking help from someone that young.

    Steve, why is Liz your favorite? I’m not surprised Nick isn’t or wasn’t into her beyond sex. She’s got too trashy a look for his taste or mine. Plus, girl, if he’s that into you after bedding you from night one, he’ll figure out a way to get your number whether you provide it or not.

  3. crushonspivey

    January 3, 2017 at 2:52 PM

    Not gonna lie. Looks like the worst crop of Bach’ettes ever. Was not super impressed with the group as a whole. Maybe 5 good choices out of 30, which means the producers did a dreadful job this year. And Vanessa? Meh. I give her and Nick 6 months post After the Final Rose.

    PS, Andi Dorfmann still sucks.

  4. rob22

    January 3, 2017 at 5:23 PM

    crushonspivey: I wasn’t going to say anything, but yeah. Ben’s group was really hot. I guess they decided to go in a different direction this time. I’m unsure why.

  5. tamara

    January 3, 2017 at 9:13 PM

    I can’t help but think their ratings for first episode would have been better had they chosen Luke. I mean, this is someone we feel we already know somewhat and does anyone think he is really looking for love? With Luke, while he seemed bland, there would have been some sincerity and interest in an actual relationship possibly coming out of this. I think the only person Nick will end up loving at the end of this is himself. Kind of boring. But, of course I watch anyway 😉

  6. elizabeth82

    January 3, 2017 at 10:13 PM

    I guess Steve is just super-into Liz’s look, because I don’t find her sympathetic at all (plus re. looks, her mouth is annoying, anyone hear me on that?). Nick isn’t “butt hurt” to be annoyed by her being all coy about her phone number and then showing up on this show.

    First show and half-paying attn and mostly distracted by the Shark/Dolphin: I did like Rachel, though.

  7. rob22

    January 4, 2017 at 5:57 AM

    @tamara: it’s a little hard to know how the ratings will fall out over the next few weeks. Sunday was New Years for that lame preview. Monday was a National Holiday, plus all the major bowl games were on, including an amazing exciting Rose Bowl that ran half way through The Bachelor. My son’s girlfriend was going to come over and watch The Bachelor with him, but he texted her and told her not to come because he was watching the game. A LOT of factors, and like RS said, next Monday is the National Championship game. Now, I know the demographics are not the same for these two events, but people have parties for games like this and a lot of women are into College Football. So, let it play out for a few weeks and see how it goes.

    That said, don’t most of us have DVRs, On Demand or a streaming app that would allow us to watch whenever we want? I guess a lot of people still do watch live. Personally I couldn’t stand it. Fast-forwarding through the commercials cuts out 30-40 minutes of wasted time.

  8. rob22

    January 4, 2017 at 7:01 AM

    It will be interesting, though, to see how the ratings do play out. I tend to think that if Juan Pah-Blow, Ben Flatdick and Farmer Fred didn’t kill ratings, then certainly Nick won’t create the apocalypse. But, who knows? This show has now been on 14 years. One more year an you’re getting into the territory of Gunsmoke, Lassie and Law and Order.

    It seems to me that the shift towards leads like Nick and Kaitlyn make sense for the newer generation & won’t be a real problem for current fans. At some point, though, you gotta think the show is going to fade. But I still don’t think this is going to be this year. I personally think the thing that will kill the show is staying too much with a formula to the point of boredom. The more they freshen it up with edgy leads and contestants, and more sex & drama (before the fantasy suites) the better off they’ll be. The last thing this show needs is to be boring. Anything that makes it less boring is good for them. Look at how much play Chad got in the last year, and of course, Nick.

  9. purplerayne

    January 9, 2017 at 2:40 PM

    LOL at Luke being sincere….he didnt get the gig in part to his diva requests for the show to play his music. He was using the show as a vehicle to push his career.

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