One thing I’ve been reiterating in regards to my podcast since I started was I wanted to open this up to people with differing points of view. Hell, if I had my wish, I’d love to have a caller on every week that isn’t a fan of mine, doesn’t like me, trashes me online, but has never personally emailed me. I think that’d be great. I’m giving anyone who wants the forum to say something to me that they’ve said to their freinds or online where 17 people see it to now say it to my face. Will it happen? Probably not. Because that’s what make them trolls. They’re brave behind a computer, but would never actually confront me with it. Our guest this week Dana Weiss the “Possessionista” certainly isn’t a troll, nor has she ever bashed me, but I loved having her on because we have differing view points. Namely, Dana is actual friends with Nick. And we have a good back and forth on him since you all know I’m not a huge fan of the guy. I don’t hate him, nor do I wish ill will on him, but I am critical of him where I feel it needs to be. Having someone on like Dana who can provide a different perspective based on what she knows through her interactions with him, was refreshing to hear. I’m always open to a back and forth discussion, and you’ll hear that in podcast #7 today. This podcast is the longest one I’ve done checking in at about an hour and fifteen minutes, but I think you’ll enjoy it. I sure did.
You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:
Subscribe: iTunes, RSS, Stitcher
Music written by Jimmer Podrasky
(B’Jingo Songs/Machia Music/Bug Music BMI)
(SPOILERS): The Possessionista Dana Weiss joins me to discuss if she’s a spoiler fan, how her business started & what it consists of (3:13), do contestants copying her hurt her business model (6:50), how money is made through social media shilling (10:14), her relationship with Nick (19:32), her thoughts on podcast #4 guest Abby Draper (23:27), Nick’s intentions on the show (27:46), next “Bachelorette” possibilities (36:58), her obsession with Corinne (38:23), what she thought of Liz (40:02), and finally answering the Rapid 10 (42:45). I talk about what’s happening on Monday along with the tabloid coverage this week (51:02), and we end with a great Dr. Reality Steve call from Meredith in Massachusetts who’s bisexual and has a bit of a love triangle to figure out (57:54)
You can follow the Possessionista on her blog www.Possessionista.com, Twitter (@Possessionista), and on Instagram at possessionista. Thanks again to Dana for coming on, as we’ll definitely have her back at some point, and also a huge thanks to Meredith for sharing her story with me. For a first Dr. Reality Steve call, I think it was pretty brave of her to come forward with that considering she hasn’t even told many people close to her. One thing I wanted to add regarding Meredith is after listening to the call back again, I basically forgot to give her advice on what to do about the guy friend who’s in love with her, because I think her future can certainly be with her best friend. I think she should handle things with her best friend first, see where that leads, and then tell the guy however she feels. It doesn’t seem like it’s a pressing issue where he’s hounding her to constantly go out, so I think she can put it on the back burner until she gets some clarity on where the relationship is going with her best friend. If they end up dating, then she’ll eventually have to come out to her guy friend and tell him. If they don’t, she can choose to reject him without coming out, or she could reject him by telling him she’s bi. That’s up to her.
“Dr. Reality Steve” emails on page 2…
yoyotono
January 12, 2017 at 9:37 AM
I agree with all your advice. To the girl with the boyfriend who’s been having trouble sleeping, maybe suggest he sleep closest to the wall (to cool down) or take melatonin to help sleep. Also inform him that he doesn’t have to cuddle with you if he can’t fall asleep while doing so.
trixibelleschott
January 12, 2017 at 11:40 AM
He’s not telling you everything. Maybe he has gas and wants to be alone. I agree that sleeping together yet not touching is preferable. I don’t think pressing him for the truth will work. I would just keep trying other fixes like a bigger bed,etc. but before you spend a lot of time or money on this,it would be great to find out the real reason. He doesn’t want to tell you,but maybe he has told a friend who would tell you if you asked. You need him to talk to a counselor or friend who will enlighten you. Then fix it.
tiggertamer
January 12, 2017 at 12:31 PM
Regarding the “issue” with not sleeping together, I think it’s unfortunate that this is even considered an issue. I’m a very light sleeper who would often leave the bed to sleep on a relatively small loveseat in my living room when my long term boyfriend would stay over. Sometimes I could sleep pretty soundly with him in my bed; sometimes I couldn’t. Either way, I needed to get some sleep, so I did what was necessary. (And, to allude to what one poster mentioned, sometimes it was because I’d had ice cream for dessert when I shouldn’t have, ugh.)
Your boyfriend is not being “rude” for leaving you in his bed; he’s giving you his bed, after all. He probably just doesn’t want to wake you up and make a big deal about needing to get more space so he can sleep.
We live in a society that seems to equate sleeping with sex and love; most of us actually refer to having sex with someone as “sleeping with” that person – something that’s a pet peeve of mine.
You might want to think of bringing over your own comforter and pillow so you can try taking the initiative of moving to the sofa when you’re both ready for sleep. That way, it’s your idea, so you won’t have to feel offended about him leaving you in his bed.
Just don’t take it personally; he obviously wants you there; he just needs to get some sleep. You don’t want him being sleep deprived on a regular basis – that can be downright dangerous.
If he has a second bedroom, you may be able to tell he’s getting more serious about the relationship if he suggests putting in a bed for you.
BTW, many older couples have separate beds or separate bedrooms, not necessarily because they have medical issues or don’t have sex with each other anymore, but because they’ve realized one or both sleep better alone and their relationship is mature enough that they don’t feel the need to follow societal norms about sleeping together when it doesn’t make sense to do so.
rob22
January 12, 2017 at 6:07 PM
Football coach g/f: Here’s the deal. The whole gig for football coaches is moving to where the next job is. That’s it. I had a good friend who was a pro basketball coach. He got tired of it and got into training kids instead. The entire reason he made the change was because he got tired of moving every couple of years. He felt he had no choice. He was an assistant and so he had to go coach under the guys who knew him and it was a new gig every 2-3 years.
He may (or may not) have the best intentions. But in the end, he’s gotta get paid. Unless he’s truly elite, like a Pete Carroll, he can’t decide on location. He just can’t. He may not be lying to you, he might be just lying to himself, but he’s lying all the same.
You read the situation right in the first place. It’s a rough gig and I personally have no idea why any woman goes along with that program. But some do. You have to want to. You don’t.
rob22
January 13, 2017 at 7:14 AM
Sleeping together in agony: So, the good news is that he’s willing to put up with some discomfort for your benefit. That means, unlike a lot of questions here, he actually does seem to be into you. But you have not yet arrived on the formula for sleeping together. He’s told you that sleeping with someone takes some time to get used to. I think that’s true. You like to cuddle. I wonder how much. Are you sleeping all night on his half of the bed & crowding him off the edge? I ask because while I heard how he was trying to accommodate YOU and your desire to cuddle, I didn’t hear from you how you are trying to make things more comfortable for HIM.
Obviously by all the educated guesses in the comments section, there is a lot of missing information here. We know he’s uncomfortable, we just weren’t given the reason why. It’s not an answer to say, “it just takes time”. He hasn’t given you the complete answer. He needs to be honest, and you need to be ready to hear WHY he needs time to adjust. What is he adjusting to? Are you literally a Stage 5 Clinger in bed? Are you a bed hog, a snorer or a thrasher? Or, is he just an extremely light sleeper? You need to dig down into what’s causing his discomfort and be completely open to honesty. There’s probably an 80%+ chance it’s something you’re doing to make him uncomfortable, even if it seems like a normal thing to you. And maybe it IS a normal thing. Normal things can bother people too. Once you get to WHY, then you can come up with a solution. It could be anything from buying a different bed to your taking Beano before bed time. Who the heck knows?
I will say this. There’s a whole industry that tries to accommodate uncomfortable partners in bed. There’s Sleep # beds with different controls on each side, there’s memory foam mattresses that don’t move the whole bed when people shift their position… there’s a ton of stuff. The reason for this industry is that almost EVERYONE has trouble adjusting to someone else in bed with them. So, I think there is a fix out there to help speed the adjustment. But time will probably also be required, as he noted. I just wouldn’t leave it there, and just wait for the adjustment, since it’s obviously a big problem for the two of you. Two people not able to sleep in the same bed in a new relationship is not good. It’s something that demands quick understanding and quick action. Good luck. He seems like a keeper. But adjustments are needed. Now.
j1scarlett
January 16, 2017 at 12:26 PM
I find it really hard to sleep around other people, even if the other person is a quiet sleeper. Im a light sleeper, plus I just cant sleep around people Im not super comfortable with. So I didnt even attempt to stay over at my boyfriends apartment for at least the first 5 months of our relationship, and then I tried to stay over every now and then but barely slept and was always tired the next day, and eventually I got comfortable enough to sleep fine. Luckily my boyfriend didnt find this “rude” or break up with me, its just how I am. If you actually like the guy then dont be so offended by this, Im sure he’ll get used to you eventually.