-They arrive in St. Thomas, check into their hotel room, and scream because it’s big. Like every hotel room everyone checks into every season. Give a bunch of superlatives, scream, and run around in it so that the hotel getting the free advertising gets their money’s worth. What? You want the girls to get there and be like, “Meh, it’s ok. I liked our other one better.” Pssshhhh. Once the women are done screaming and calling dibs on the rooms, they wait out on the balcony as Nick flys by in a seaplane waving to them. The good thing about this is none of them can see the look of terror on Nick’s face knowing that he’s about to eliminate three girls during dates while he’s in St. Thomas. What? You think this stuff just happens naturally, he flies by the seat of his pants and makes these decisions on his own? Pssshhh.
-The girls meet him down by the dock where he landed (and subsequently where a worker was fired that day who Instagrammed a pic out that you can see in the episode-by-episode spoilers). I guess once Nick got out of the country, he figured he could start dressing himself down. Like, seriously down. We’re talking Robby Hayes territory with his bright ass short chubbies, and shoes with no socks. Nick must’ve been a huge watcher of JoJo’s season to have that outfit nailed down to perfection. It was like he stole Robby’s “How To Not Dress On National Television” book and followed it chapter by chapter. I wonder if he…nevermind.
-After he greets the girls, he tells Kristina today is her date and it starts immediately. In a little foreshadowing, they show Jasmine crying a bit due to the fact she’s the only one who hasn’t had a 1-on-1 or 2-on-1 date of everyone remaining. At this point she’s had four group dates and she’s none too happy and makes it known to others. The clock is ticking. Remember, one episode that we see is 4 days of filming pretty much non stop. Lets say 20 hours a day. That’s 80 hours of footage that they have to cram into 80 minutes of TV a week (remember, there are 20 minutes of commercials an hour). So when we see something on our screen, it’s usually for a reason. We didn’t see Whitney the Friendly Ghost say anything for 5 episodes, but she was all over ITM’s in the beginning part of this one, because the audience had to know at least SOMETHING about her before she gets booted on a 2-on-1. And them letting us see Jasmine’s reaction to her 5th group date was to set up her exit later on. They know what they’re doing. I just hope a lot of you see all this when it’s airing. If not, well, that’s what I’m here for. I’ll be your tour guide on this Bachelor journey. “Come on in. Stay a while.” – Kasey K.
-Did you like how in 33 seasons of this show we’ve never once seen a worker at the hotel become any sort of “character,” yet here is Lorna, the maid for the girls room who just so happens to get a speaking part this season so they can play into the whole nanny thing with Corinne. So ridiculously edited. Really? Corinne essentially talking down to Lorna? Did you notice that the voice over of Corinne calling Lorna “nanny” was clearly dubbed in there? Pretty much shows you how far this show is willing to go to force feed a storyline down your throat. Yes, she compared her to Racquel. We saw that in her ITM. But she never called Lorna a “nanny.” It was clearly dubbed in there so make you think she said it. It’s embarrassing at this point. I’m sure Lorna feels real good about herself knowing a spoiled little brat just spoke about her in that way.
-What makes that scene even worse was seeing what came next, which was Kristina getting her 1-on-1 and revealing her tragic backstory of the awful life she led in Russia. Having a mother who was barely around, and when she was around, couldn’t provide for her to the point where the kid had to eat lipstick, then her mother dying when she was 4 and going into a foster home, only to be adopted at 12 and brought to the states leaving everything behind. I said it on Twitter and I’ll say it again: I’m glad Kristina shared her story. Took a lot of guts to share something like that and I commend her for it. And right after that embarrassing Corinne scene, I hope some of these Bachelor Nation hypocrites actually take a step back from their #TeamCorrine tweets and hopefully gained some perspective on how even more ridiculous she looks now.
-Nick and Kristina go for a little dip in the water where she straddles him and…yeah. The last time we saw something like this, Ben and Courtney were playing “just the tip” in the ocean. Hey, that’s straight outta her book. I think she said it lasted 20 seconds and it just wasn’t the proper place or time to try and have sex. Nick and Kristina then go off dancing where she gets another straddle in as he lifts her and swings her around for all to see. It was glorious I tell ya’. Kristina has got to be the smallest girl on the show, right? She looks about 4’10” and maybe 90 lbs soaking wet. Either way, I was afraid Nick would pick her up and chuck her into the air like Ted Stryker in “Airplane.” Good thing Kristina is ok. She doesn’t need to be having more stories to add her collection already. I have a feeling Kristina shot up a lot of people’s boards tonight as a fan favorite, as she should have. I mean, kinda hard not to like someone like that, right? Once the dust settles, and hopefully somewhere down the line, would absolutely want to have her on the podcast.
