Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” & Nick Does His Media Tour

Photo Credit: ABCnews

Hi Steve

I’m obsessed with your blog. I started watching the bachelor during Sean Lowe’s season. I have been hooked ever since; mainly because of your blog. I hate surprises. So thank you. What is the deal with Chris Harrison? Single? Ready to mingle? I feel like there should be a scandal brewing with him. Especially with all the ladies that surround him every other season. Would love to know your thoughts on him.

Comment: He’s single. Got divorced from his wife I believe in 2012. Has definitely dated former contestants Selma Alameri and AshLee Frazier in the past. I’m sure there were others, but those two I’m definitely aware of. And absolutely he hits on the contestants. I don’t necessarily agree that a major scandal is coming from any of them, because he’d kill a really easy job if he did. He’s not that stupid to screw this up.

Hi Steve

My email stems from having listened to your first podcast with Dana Weiss. I started reading her Possessionista blog shortly after and find that her comments regarding Nick don’t necessarily match her comments on your podcast.

She seemed very protective of him on the podcast, saying that he’s on the Bachelor looking for love, he’s not fame hungry, etc. Yet her recaps paint him in a similar light as you have since he started on the franchise. Only difference is, *you’ve* never defended Nick to the public. She has. Yet she’s alluded to him keeping Corinne around for ratings, to his DWTS obsession, to him being an ‘aspiring actor’, etc. For someone to defend him so much on your podcast, then go off on her website about how he was “born in skinny jeans” and is “no stranger to making women nauseated”, just doesn’t make sense to me. Particularly if she knows him well enough to know how much he apparently cares about how people portray him. Maybe it’s all good fun between the two of them, but it struck me as somewhat contradictory.

Would appreciate your thoughts/perspective.


Comment: I haven’t read Dana’s recaps this year, but if she’s saying that then, well, she’s aware of who he is. She can still be his friend and say those things because basically it’s all true. I wouldn’t call that bashing him. And on last week’s podcast, I could tell she’s a little more critical of him. I think she’s just trying not to come across as a Nick apologist because people know she’s friends with him. And that’s a good thing. But without having read exactly what she wrote and the context it was in, it’s tough for me to comment on that in particular.

Hey Steve,

So, I finally caught up on the Bachelor and your recaps/columns, and I wanted to email you in regards to the tarot card comments you made. So, I agree in a way that it is all a bunch of crock, but I had a really creepy experience pertaining to tarot when I was a teenager, and figured I would share.

So, when I was 17 my friends and I thought we would go to a tarot readers for s***s and giggles. When it was my turn, the tarot lady told me a man from my past was going to show up unexpectedly in the next couple months and basically shake things up and tick off my parents. I remember looking at this lady like she was crazy, because I was SEVENTEEN, and had never even had a boyfriend, much less a “man from my past”! ?

So, fast forward 3 months (during which time I turned 18). My biological father showed up on my doorstep unannounced. (My biological mother got remarried when I was 3, and that man adopted me. He’s my dad in all the ways that count. My biological father wasn’t allowed to contact me via court order until I turned 18.)

Anyway, a very strong argument could be made that the tarot reader/cards predicted that, but it could have been (and probably was) a very strong coincidence. Just thought I would share!

Comment: I’ll call it a coincidence.

Hey Steve,

for years you’ve been preaching that the number 2 girl can’t get the Bachelorette gig for various reasons (until Jojo of course).

Do you think that Raven coming in second will affect her chances in any way? Or do you think the show doesn’t care about that anymore?

Comment: I don’t think it matters anymore after last season. It’s not like THAT is the deciding factor either. It’s someone that resonates with the audience, has a following, and they can get behind. Which is basically anyone they choose because they can make an argument for whoever they put in that role. They can say all they want about how the “public” really wanted one person in particular, but that’s BS. That’s just their way of making you think that you have a say in their decision and they keep you in the loop. It’s not. They’ll choose who they choose and defend it however they want.

Hey Steve!

If we assume Rachel would want to be the bachelorette, and they ultimately choose Raven instead, do you think that ABC would receive lots of negative back lash since the issue of race/racism is such a sensitive and hot topic in our culture?

Comment: I think so. Those clamoring for more racial diversity on this show, especially in the lead position, will have all the ammunition they need if Rachel isn’t the next “Bachelorette,” since she’s the first viable black candidate they’ve ever had.

Hi Steve,

I know that we are all pretty tired of Corinne by now, it seems her behavior gets worse and worse with each episode… I was thinking about the WTA coming up in a few weeks and I can easily picture it where Corinne starts slurring the B* word again and the whole thing turns into a Jerry Springer like brawl with “security” rushing to the stage to physically stop a cat fight among the girls…Although that would certainly be entertaining trash TV, the danger is that once you go there it’s hard to come back as the public will now be expecting it. Do you think ABC would let it get that far?

(The funniest part would be to see how Chris Harrison reacts) No. The WTA will most certainly be the Corinne show, but I don’t see other girls getting out of their seats and attacking her.

This vision might be a bit exaggerated, but I think the producers will definitely push Corinne to be as outrageous as usual so who knows, I suppose it depends if she learned anything from the experience or not.

I don’t know if you saw it but she was on Ellen this week. I watched just to see what her state of mind is now that filming has been over for a few weeks and she’s had a chance to see how she comes off on the show.

Ellen pretty bluntly asked her if she sees that she may have come off as crazy and even asked her if she was drunk during filming, quickly adding that “they get you liquored up on that show”.

Corinne’s answer was basically that she thinks she is very funny and she makes herself laugh a lot. She also said that as far as drinking goes, she draws a line at blacking out…I rest my case. Of course, the mere fact that a show like Ellen would have her on will help her think that she is now a big TV star and so her strategy on the Bachelor was the right one.

She also referred to a previous long term relationship which was “very stressful” without going into detail, have you heard anything about it?


Comment: Yeah I saw her on “Ellen.” Pretty much what I expected out of her. No apologies, no remorse, thinks it’s all funny, and completely doesn’t get how she comes across to a majority of people.

I know nothing about her prior relationship other than her ex’s blog that I linked to a couples weeks ago.

Hi, Steve.

Just listened to the podcast and had to chuckle about the toilet paper. I’m on your side. I grew up with it under and my late mother was affronted when I switched to over as an adult. She would get upset if I forgot to change it in ‘her’ bath when she came to visit. A fun ‘getting to know you’ icebreaker I have done for some organizations as we welcomed new members: have a list of random things and ask people to group together based on their answers. Such as: only children over here, 1-2 siblings over here, 3 or more siblings over there. And so on with other personal facts or preferences. Funniest one is always the toilet paper: over, under or who cares? Over is always the biggest group, then a very small group of defiant unders, and then a small truly baffled group that had no clue this was a thing! I think we can put the Possesionista in the baffled group. It creates lots of laughter. You could do this icebreaker at the party in Vegas but your biggest fans will be afraid to answer honestly in case you boot them from the party! Under people should be outcasts in society.

Oh, and one comment about the Mon Jan 30th episode. The Corinne show is so out of control that when Sarah and Astrid got eliminated in Wisconsin, they never even put Astrid’s name on the screen or showed her parting comments, only Sarah’s. I honestly wasn’t sure who the second eliminated girl was so I had to refer to your spoilers to confirm it was Astrid. For all I knew, it was Whitney or Kristina. Not enough screen time for me to recognize them. After the first mass exodus in Episode 1, I think we always get ITMs/parting comments from anybody who doesn’t get a rose at the ceremony. At least they identify them on screen! Just proof that if you’re not Corinne, you’re a non-entity. Sometimes there are contestants that we don’t get to see their parting words after a rose ceremony. Certainly on night one we don’t see every girl’s parting words. Sarah had a good cry and babbled on, so maybe she was more interesting than Astrid. If Astrid didn’t cry or look/sound upset, they have no reason to show it. They’re looking for dramatics. Astrid comes off to me as someone that didn’t care she was eliminated.

I’ve been enjoying your blog for years, keeps me watching the Bachelor/ette, and now enjoy your podcasts also. It’s much easier for me to listen to the podcast in the car or while doing chores than watching the old video blogs. Thanks for all you do.

Comment: Thanks. I agree. The podcasts are much better, and easier, than the video chats.

Hey Steve,

I’m a new(ish) reader and am loving your blog and podcast.

One question I’d love your thoughts on: Do any of these ladies have kids? Unless I missed something, I don’t think any do. Is this a coincidence, or does Nick have a preference?

Comment: Not this season they don’t. First one in a while I can remember where none of the contestants had kids. I don’t know what Nick’s preference is.

Hey Steve! I just got done listening to your most recent podcast (love it, by the way!) and enjoyed your conversation with the Possesionista about Corrine. However, as I have been watching the show and observing her, I see Corinne as much more than a “mean girl”, as was referred to on the podcast–I see her as emotionally abusive. I am a psychotherapist and the majority of my clients are women who are in, are trying to get out of or have just gotten out of abusive relationships–I am very well versed in the signs of abuse and can spot them very easily.

I have noticed throughout the season that Corrine was definitely emotionally manipulative. When you see her conversations with Nick the way she describes things seems not only to be different from the other girls’ realities but she also paints herself as being the victim…however, after this past episode it became clear that all of her conversations with Nick and the way she painted the situation and presented herself were to make him soft towards her so that when she “went in for the kill” and said Taylor emotionally attacked her, she could already anticipate his response in knowing that he was going to stick up for her. Corrine has essentially manipulated Nick to the point where she can now pull the strings.

In regards to her interactions with Taylor, what struck me as manipulative and abusive was the way that she not only used Taylor’s words against her but she also picked out subtle words and phrases that Taylor may or may not have even said (e.g. Taylor never said Corrine was stupid) and TOLD Taylor that this is what she had said. Her persistence in saying these things over and over is a tactic that abusive people use as they know eventually the other person will start to wonder “did I really say that? Am I going crazy?” Corrine’s incessant name-calling (even if it was in ITM’s) is a very clear sign of exerting power and control. Additionally, Corrine is using intimidation to try and silence Taylor (anytime Taylor tries to address a topic Corrine uses phrases/below the belt hits to shut Taylor up…e.g. “you’re bullying me”). And even though we know that nothing is going to happen because everything is being filmed, Corrine’s threats to physically harm (e.g. punch Taylor) is using intimidation by way of making threats which is another classic sign of abusive behavior.

The thing with abusive people is that it’s not just a pattern of behaviors (or even isolated behaviors), it’s about the way they think. They THINK that their actions are justified, they believe that other people are not worthy of respect, compassion, kindness, etc. They believe that as long as they appear like the winner, on top, the best, etc., it doesn’t matter what they have to do or who they have to do things to in order to get there. They believe that they have power over people and can control people and situations. In the attached documents I’ve included the dynamics of power and control (pay special attention to the sections on using emotional abuse, using intimidation and minimizing, denying and blaming) as well as an “inside look” of the mind of an abusive person. I do think it’s important to note that many of us have demonstrated these qualities from time to time…that does not make someone abusive. What makes them abusive is the pattern of these behaviors and the way they think.

Now, I do have to make one disclaimer…my observations only come from what I see on TV and I do realize that there is producer involvement. (Though I would say that Corrine’s emotionally abusive behavior happens as much outside of ITM’s as inside them.) I am not Corrine’s therapist and don’t have any interaction with her, so it would be unfair to make any sort of a diagnosis on her; I am only stating what I have observed and using my experience and knowledge as a therapist to try and make sense of what is going on here! If you want to know more, we can definitely have a conversation or further email exchange!

I have thoughts about Taylor as well, but I’ll have to save them for another day! 😉

Comment: Appreciate your well thought out opinion on Corrine. Coming from a psychotherapist, that’s a very interesting read.

Hi steve,

I have a couple of random questions, I don’t even know if they’re interesting enough to publish.

If one of your sources asks you not to share something, do you just not do it? I am assuming when it comes to the show spoilers you find people who tell you information while knowing you are planning on spoiling it on your site. But if a source asks you to leave part of it out (either a story line or behind the scenes gossip snippet) do you listen? There is other insider information you have, like on their relationships outside of the show and which alumni hook up and yada yada. Is all someone has to do ask you to not tell anyone and they know they’re secret is safe? Yep. And I’ve done it plenty of times. Usually it ends up being I can’t release something right away. But if they’re telling it to me, they’re telling it to me for a reason because it’s a spoiler and they know it’s going to get out. But yes, sometimes I have to hold on to things longer than I’d like to, but I’m fine with that. All they have to do is tell me.

It’s just an interesting, like, dual thing you have. You get under the producers skin and seem to enjoy doing so (not in an over the top way, just the occasional snarky tweet here and there) but the contestants (I am assuming that is the majority of who you talk to about post show gossip, for example knowing Amanda and josh weren’t doing well their whole engagement, but I guess your source could be any random person who knows them) can trust you. I know the difference is between spoiling a silly tv show vs spilling secrets about people’s real lives, but still. Is part of not telling us some of these things (the names of all the franchise girls who nick has slept with for example) a strategy to keep us coming back for more? I know you won’t eventually tell, but I feel like you strategize just how much you’ll reveal, to still keep some things enough of a mystery. It’s not that I’m purposely trying to tease to get clicks or anything. I don’t need to do that. I’ll leave that to other sites that are click bait and have no information about anything, or just steal their info from this site. I’ve been spoiling for 8 years now. This site is the only site on the internet that season in and season out spoils the franchise before the episodes even air. People know where to come to get their spoilers and inside information on this franchise by now. I don’t need to tempt them with games like that. My tweets, the titles of my posts, all pretty much tell you everything you are going to read in the column that day. Places that resort to click baiting stuff are just further proof they have no information and are begging for clicks. My traffic is what it is, and basically is solid every season because people know what to expect. It’s a very loyal fan base. If I ever tease something, I’m flat out telling you I’m teasing things, or can’t reveal yet, or I’m waiting on certain things. Always been very transparent about that, and I think people appreciate it.

It kind of contributes to your image that you’re just this guy who got lucky with a spoiler and now you make a living out of writing a blog for it, but i figure by now you must be bigger than that. Like do you have an agent and sh*t? Some kind of team that sets up your interviews and designs your site and talks to you about where you should take your “brand?” Or is this just a completely solo man operation?

Comment: Do I have an agent? No. It’s just me and my webmaster. He’s based in CA, handles all the advertising, layout, and any technical issues with the site. I don’t know how to do any of that. The podcasts and who I interview are all done by me. I got help from a reader in setting the podcast stuff up because I knew nothing and she was a great help. The first few I had to run through the steps to make sure I was doing everything right, but now I can do everything on my own. I’m a big boy now ha ha. Took a while but I finally got there. I just email people I think are interesting from the franchise and hope they respond. Once I run out of franchise people, I’ll start diving into other reality TV shows looking for interview guests. There’s plenty out there. If any of you have suggestions of who I should try to get or someone you want to hear on a future podcast, by all means, email me and let me know.



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