-You might wanna say goodbye to Vanessa because their time at dinner was the last time you’ll see her for the next 90 minutes. Buh bye. Really? Not once? No, not once except veerrrrrry late in the episode when it’s just a quick shot of her and you still don’t see anyone around her, which makes me think she wasn’t part of the group even in that scene. But we’ll get to that later. The group date with Corinne, Kristina, and Raven is up next and they really try and make this date about Corinne. Even though it’s nothing to where she’s trash talking the other two like she did with Taylor, just the amount of ITM’s they gave her this date probably doubled both Raven and Kristina combined. Corinne wants us to know how important today’s date is for her and how much she wants Nick to meet her family, and of course, Racquel next week. She says she’s the queen of group dates (which she is since she’s never had a 1-on-1) and she’s gonna steal the show today. Ok, Corinne. You do that. While the rest of us back in reality can see right through you and see how much further proof this date was that you were in this to “win,” not necessarily be in a relationship, and that the depth of your relationship with Nick didn’t extend past surface level.
-The scene of the four of them on the boat and who got the sunscreen was quite humorous. Editing at its finest again as they only showed Nick rubbing sunscreen on Kristina in every nook and cranny of her body, including close to her crotch. While Raven and Corinne just looked on and rubbed themselves down. Now, maybe Nick eventually did rub some on both of them, but for editing purposes, they only showed him groping Kristina with it to heighten Corinne’s insecurities and set the stage for later. My guess is Kristina got more attention than the other two did on the boat, they just chose to show it in a certain way to make it look like Nick was all about her. Although, would it have been too much to ask to have Corinne and Raven rub the lotion on each other while we watched? Just asking.
-Nick tells the girls that they are going swimming with the sharks. They freak. Well, Corinne and Kristina do. Raven acted like she does it every weekend. Kristina: “They bite…they smell blood…we can die.” Yes, very observant Kristina. They can do all those things. The chances of you living on this date are less than 1%. So good luck. It was nice knowing ya’. Just when we thought we were gonna dive deeper into your adoption history, Jaws is going to chew you from limb to limb. Although, just to save everyone else, maybe you should’ve come aboard equipped with a grenade in your hand, then after he eats you, you can slide to the front of his mouth, with your dead body clinging to a grenade in your hand still, while Nick finds a long metal rod, and is able to reach into the sharks mouth and yank the pin with it, causing him to explode. If you think that’s ridiculous and utterly stupid, just know that’s how they killed the shark at the end of Jaws 3. Sooooooo yeah. It’s happened before. Did I mention that shark terrorized Sea World the whole movie too? And it was in 3D? And that I watched it one summer on HBO approximately 421 times?
-So they all jump in the water and I really think they took liberties with this whole “swimming with the sharks” thing. I mean yes, Nick, Kristina, Raven, and Corinne were all in the same body of water that sharks were in, but they really made it seem like they’d be swimming alongside them. Or at least interacting with them. We never saw one shot of the four of them and sharks in the same sequence. It was either a shot of the four of them swimming, or a shot of sharks swimming, but never both. So whatever. Not sure what to believe with that whole sequence. If you’re at the top of the water snorkeling and the sharks are down at the bottom swimming, are you technically “swimming with sharks?” Because swimming with the pigs in the Bahamas last season was totally different. How about Swimming with Sharks is the next big reality show and lets see how that pans out?
-Kristina uses her fear to jump back in the boat, Nick comes aboard to comfort her, while Corinne stays out in the ocean to play with Mr. Sharkey while half of America secretly wishes for Jaws to get pissed off. At the dinner portion of the date, Corinne is stressing how badly she wants this group date rose so she can be safe and guarantee herself a hometown, which pretty much made it clear that she wouldn’t be getting one. Kristina gets her alone time first (more foreshadowing for her getting dumped later. Make it seem like she’s a “front runner” this episode and Nick is totally into her), and Nick starts crying as his emotions got the best of him talking to her. Basically boiling it down to being a tough week and he’s had some tough decisions to make. Kristina takes this crying to mean that “tonight solidified our connection. I’m ready to bring him home.” Unfortunately, that one is gonna sting a little bit. Nyet.
-Raven gets her time with Nick and she asks him if he’s worried about hometowns. He says he is just because of his past with the show and he assumes all the dads know he’s been down this road twice before. So basically he knows absolutely how ridiculous it sounds to possibly ask 4 more dads for their blessing to marry their daughter after he’s already done it twice. Raven talks about how her parents have been married a long time, they’ve set the standard high, but her dad had lung cancer two years ago which made her lose interest in continuing with law school, so she moved home to be with him. She said her dad is good now and he can’t wait to meet Nick. And I’m sure Nick is jumping at the chance to ride ATV’s and chase pig’s with daddy…or whatever the hell they do in Hoxie, Ark. I think one thing Raven and Nick should’ve done on her visit home was kidnap Brett Bielema, tie him up to an outpost and chuck rocks at him for the disappointing season the Razorbacks had. No? Ok. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
-Corinne finally got her time with Nick and expressed that because she’s the only one who hasn’t had a 1-on-1, she was nervous because she hasn’t had time to “lock Corinne in with Nick,” referring to herself in the 3rd person so eloquently. Whatever they talked about, which was nothing, ended with them making out and solidifying their purely physical relationship on the outside, but convinced Corinne she’s getting the group date rose and will be safe. Didn’t happen. Nick gave it to Raven, Corinne had a look of disgust on her face, and Nick and Raven had a night portion of their date that was a concert performed by Adam Friedman. Hey, did they ever have Adam’s name on the screen or even reference the fact he was the singer who performed for them? I thought the whole point of these artists agreeing to go on the show is so that their name and/or song gets out there? Maybe I just missed it, but I saw zero reference to Adam Friedman once Nick and Raven showed up to dance. Then again, maybe they were pissed because Adam and his bandmates spoiled it that day when they posted these tweets:
Whatever the case, glad you got to perform in the Bahamas Adam, but I’d ask for a refund of that performance.
