-It’s the morning of Nick and Danielle’s date. Corinne and Kristina are talking in the living room, and Vanessa isn’t anywhere to be found. This becomes a recurring theme the rest of the episode. After her date, we saw her for maybe :10 seconds reading Danielle’s date card. And then…presto change-o…she’s disappeared into the abyss forever and ever. Someone put a search warrant out on her. On Danielle’s date, she runs and jumps into Nick’s arms and even gets a straddle in, but no spin. Then again, he probably only spins girls he doesn’t want to dump immediately. These two rode bikes around town carrying on conversation like they were Kermit and Miss Piggy in the “Great Muppet Caper.” They even played basketball with the locals on an 8 foot rim that made Nick seem like white men could actually dunk. I’m hearing the local Bimini pick up games are some good run. Many a NBA ballers have come from that neck of the woods. Or not.
-So these two saddle up to the bar and they begin to talk about hometowns. Well, Nick begins to talk about them and ask questions. Danielle just repeats what he says and mumbles. Nick: “So we’d go to Wisconsin?” Danielle: “Mmm hmmm.” Wow. Riveting talk I tell ya’. Nothing like having your date repeat everything you say back to you on national television in probably your most important date of the season. So rather than continue to discuss Boring Time with Nick and Danielle, we get a shot back at the house of the next date card arriving with Kristina, Raven, Rachel, and Corinne talking….Vanessa is nowhere to be found. Are you beginning to sense a pattern here? I certainly am.
-The Boring Hour starring Nick and Danielle continues over dinner. Nick: “You have fun today?” Danielle: “Mmmm hmmm.” Nick: “You’re fun to have fun with.” Oh yeah. Toooooootally seems like it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been engaged in conversation with someone who offers one word answers and they are completely knocking the socks off me. That’s a keeper right there I tell ya’. She begins to open up a bit more about Nick…in an ITM. “I’m crazy about him. The last time I was in love with someone, they died.” Gulp. Well you put that way, geez. Maybe Nick and Danielle should avoid all black cats, ladders, and cracked mirrors. Or are those not a thing anymore? Now it’s time for Danielle to really open up to Nick to his face. Because it’s taken her enough strength and courage to let it all out, he might as well hear it. “My heart is very open…very open to you…care a lot about you…excited…something I’ve really been wanting to feel…scary I don’t know how you feel.” Nick’s response is basically, “Thank you, but the feelings aren’t mutual. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.” I love my 2002 references, don’t you? Bank!
-Nick ends his convo with Danielle by saying, “You’re just so great.” Her response: “Not great enough.” Ouch. Had to feel for her in that moment. She was basically an emotional mess, crying pretty badly, had the red nose and puffy eyes, so she heads back to the house to pack up. Kristina, Raven, and Corinne are there to help console her. You know who is missing, and that was basically her best friend in the house. I’m sure Vanessa did say goodbye to her and I’m pretty sure it was shown in the season preview after episode 1, but the point being that the other 3 were all hanging out together while Vanessa wasn’t. For the third time already this episode. And it’s not over yet.
-So the next thing we get is Corinne using her sex appeal to go to Nick’s place and try and make babies with him. It’s something they’ve teased since episode 1, we’ve known it’s coming, it finally happened, and it was just as absurd when we first heard it, to the amount of times they showed it heading to commercial, to when they finally showed her saying it. “I have a heart of gold, but my vagine is platinum.” That’s great Corinne. I’ll take your word for it. However, now that you freely offered up your platinum vagine to probably the horniest guy ever in the franchise who’s had tons of sex with girls in this franchise, and he turned it down, exactly what shine level does that bring it down to now? Just curious. Maybe you shouldn’t talk about your vagine as much anymore that was rejected by NICK VIALL of all people.
-The next morning is the beginning of Rachel’s date and Raven, Corinne, and Kristina are sitting around talking waiting for Rachel to arrive. Vanessa’s not there. Again. These are all different times in filming while they were in Bimini that Vanessa wasn’t with the other girls, not just the same shot over and over. Rachel and Nick head to the bar with some locals for a few beers. And believe it or not, we actually got a real moment from the show, something that was discussed in today’s podcast with the Possessionista. Nick asked Rachel: “So am I similar to guys you’ve dated before? Different?” Translation: Do you date white guys? Rachel basically took it from there and was very honest saying that while she has never brought a white guy home to meet her family, she’s dated white guys before. Although it may seem like a simple conversation, it was definitely one that needed to be had because since this has been the Corinne show for 7 episodes, we didn’t really know much about what makes Rachel tick. And now we do. She doesn’t mind dating white boys, which I’m sure she’ll have plenty of next season to choose from. For those thinking this show will now have all black guys as contestants, think again. We won’t know for sure obviously until I spoil all the guys on her season and the official cast list is released, but I’m telling you, it’s not even going to be 50/50 black guys/white guys if I had to guess. I still think it’ll me majority white guys. Maybe 15/10 ratio? That might even be too much.
-Nick and Rachel’s date lasted like 5 minutes in real time. It was like a 1-on-1 but wasn’t really a 1-on-1 because they didn’t do anything. She even came back and it was still light outside. But she was so excited to get back and tell the girls about her day, and yet again, Vanessa wasn’t there. Shocker. Basically after all those tweets last night constantly pointing out that Vanessa wasn’t around, people seemed to ask non stop what was the fight all about. Just as I said back on Jan. 2nd, the answer is I don’t really know the details. If I did, I tell you what the argument was about, but there was a major argument that happened between Rachel and Vanessa in Bimini that the girls took Rachel’s side on. And never seeing Vanessa sitting around with the other girls after her 1-on-1 date is about as much evidence as you’ll get towards it. Yes, I understand that the Vanessa apologists will say it still doesn’t prove anything, but that’s just them burying their head in the sand and thinking their angel could do no wrong. It’s not coincidental Vanessa wasn’t around for ANYTHING after her 1-on-1 date. Not sure why it’s so hard for people to accept that maybe she just didn’t get along with everyone while she was there. Happens every season to people. This season was no different.
-I think what gets lost in a lot of it is that if it’s someone who doesn’t win, or someone who had a villain edit all season, if what happened with Vanessa not being around with others girls happened with a different girl, they’d be all over her calling her names and no wonder no one hung out with her. But because Vanessa is the winner and plenty of people with two eyeballs can clearly see that, they’ll make excuses for her that “Well, it’s not so bad. Maybe she was off filming something” or “Maybe she was just tired.” I wish I knew the details of the fight, but I don’t. It happened in Bimini and the girls sided with Rachel from everything I was told. At least the edit last night gave some partial evidence something was amiss in Bimini between Vanessa and the rest of the girls. I’m not completely crazy you know. Not to mention, well, every other spoiler I’ve given you has been right for 7 episodes. Like I just pulled that out of my ass for the hell of it? C’mon haters. You can do better than that.
-Nick pulls Kristina aside after a talk with Chris and decides to not wait until the rose ceremony and sends her home. Needless to say, she’s not happy either. She’s got the water works flowing and comes back in the house to…well, you know who was there and who wasn’t. Geez. I think it’s safe to say that Nick had himself quite a couple weeks in St. Thomas and Bimini. You realize the last 5 people he eliminated this season were all before rose ceremonies? Cray-zay. So we get the preview for next week and since they still want the audience to believe that Nick might still have more eliminations before hometowns (he doesn’t), we don’t get any clips from any of the women’s visits to their parents. But we do get a teaser of someone walking down the hallway about to knock on Nick’s door, which is none other than Andi Dorfman who gives him “advise” before his final four rose ceremony that was filmed in New York. This is what I wrote word-for-word in my episode-by-episode spoilers back on January 2nd:
Back on Nov. 5th, the day after the final four rose ceremony, I tweeted this out:
Ahhhhh, they did it again. Another stupid storyline…
— RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) November 5, 2016
I was made aware that before the rose ceremony, which took place at the William Vale Hotel in New York, Andi Dorfman shows up to give Nick “advice.” But you can bet your sweet ass that when this episode airs, and they first start teasing a female “showing up” on this episode, they’re going to make the unspoiled viewer out there think that Andi is coming on because she wants Nick back or something ridiculous. Wasn’t the case. She just gave him “advice” as only a NY Times-best-selling-author-who-already-sold-Nick-out-in-her-book can. If you even look at Andi’s Instagram from Nov. 4th, you can see she was staying at the William Vale Hotel. But yeah, that’s what I was referring to back then.
And that’s exactly what they did in the teaser last night. So predictable and so not the way they’re gonna make it seem. This spoiler has been out there for 6 weeks now, yet the amount of people asking, “Who shows up next week” still boggles my mind. And you wonder why I repeat stuff constantly in this column. I kinda have to. And even then it’s usually got good enough. Oh well. Keep on keepin’ on. Hey, only a few more episodes left of this thing that basically has zero suspense left in it. Glad I could be of help.
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