Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 13 - Rachel

The “Bachelorette” Rachel Episode 5 Recap Incl DeMario Speaks Out

Photo Credit: ABC

-We’re in Oslo, Norway now for our first international travel for the season. You know what that means? ABC likes to give us the 3rd grade map of a plane traveling overseas to their next location. Who ever thought this was a good idea? Do they not think we know where Norway is? Are they trying to be an educational show now? Maybe now each episode can be sponsored by a letter and a number? And Oscar the Grouch can be the new host. Rachel is excited for this week’s dates because she says “when you travel with someone, you really get to know someone.” Amen. Ain’t it the truth. You mean you get to see how long it takes them to pack for a weekend trip? How many useless things they bring for a 3 day weekend? I feel ya’ Rachel. Get to know these guys in their true element. Well, Bryan anyway. Not like it matters with the rest of them.

-Rachel and Bryan’s 1-on-1 date is at the top of a world famous ski jump used in the Olympics, and they are going to rappel down, which should make for some amazing metaphors about how relationships are about “taking risks,” and “conquering your fears,” you know, like we’ve heard every season on the “adrenaline” date for the last 841 years. Rachel and Bryan’s is no different. These two can’t get enough of each other. Rachel’s already told him he’s too good to be true and now Bryan is saying she’s too good to be true. When is this going to end? How much longer until the two of them put one of these videos out? You know it’s coming…

I mentioned this in the “He Said, She Said” podcast, but right now Bryan and Rachel are in the “Me Too” phase of their relationship. You know right in the beginning, when two people like each other they ignore every difference they have with the other person and no matter what one says, the other one just says “Oh really? Me too!” in response. Like, the guy says, “On Sunday, I really just like to lounge around in my underwear, play video games, and eat Cheetos.” Girl: “Me too! That’s like my Sunday ritual!” So yeah, Bryan and Rachel can’t stop telling the other one how much they’re the greatest person in the world, so just wait til they actually see the faults in the other person.

-Before they start rappelling, Rachel is still giddy over Bryan. “It’s hard for me to verbalize my feelings about Bryan…I see forward…I get bored easily…Bryan doesn’t bore me.” Then more talk about too good to be true, fairy tales, etc. It’s like these two are an ad for or EHarmony. Rachel is still stuck on the fact Bryan is so perfect that it almost scares here. “He’s 37, well educated, great job…I wonder why he’s still single.” Well technically Rachel you could say the same about me and add five years. Ok, maybe not, but you get my point. It is possible to be older and be single and not have something wrong with you. I feel ya’ Bryan. Great catches like us getting pigeonholed like that really sucks. Man, the tough times we go through. It’s a burden I tell ya’. Although Bryan did go on a TV show to try and remedy his situation. I basically do nothing to try and change mine. I guess that’s where we differ. Oh, and the fact that he cracks people’s necks for a living.

-Back at the resort, Anthony and Eric are having a talk and Eric is a little bothered by the fact that Rachel has been now five 1-on-1 dates so far, and Anthony was the only black guy who’s gotten one so far. He thinks that maybe she isn’t into black guys. Well, Kevin Durant would beg to differ. Maybe for this particular season she just so happens to be into a couple white guys, but I wouldn’t read too much into it Eric, even though that’s what you do every episode. And yeah, it’s only been five 1-on-1’s so far. It’s not like they ever would’ve allowed her to take five black guys on the first five 1-on-1’s. So that wasn’t happening. 4-to-1 ratio? Eh, maybe it could’ve been 3-to-2. But I think Eric is so much into his own head this season, he’s letting every little thing affect him. Remember, KEEP MY NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!!”

-Over dinner, we dive a little further into Bryan’s past and hear his tragic backstory. It was one of homelessness, poverty, panhandling, and…oh wait, no it wasn’t. Bryan had acne as a kid and girls didn’t talk to him. I’m guessing exactly zero people feel sorry for that rough upbringing he had. Man, that NEVER happens to middle school kids. I hope you were able to fight through it all Bryan and come out on top. You’re a real trooper. You know the other thing Bryan said at dinner? That the chairs were always so far away so he pulled them closer. I’ve never really noticed it on the dinner dates since the table is always by itself. Chairs seemed normal to me. Makes me think Bryan is one of those guys that sits on the same side of the booth at dinner with his girlfriend. And people like that basically need to be beaten with a shovel. No. Just no. You’ll have plenty of time to be close to each other later. You really need to suffocate them during dinner? At a bar? That’s different. But at a booth? Just sit on the other side weirdo.

-Bryan then does something that while may be a bit over-the-top for being on his first date, doesn’t really surprise you because of how cheesy he’s been all season. He tells Rachel he’s falling in love with her, says it’s very hard for him to say that to someone, and that it’s not something that happens often. Like I said, are you really that surprised Bryan dropped that L bomb on her last night considering what we’ve seen the previous four episodes? And he was able to soften the blow a little bit by saying he’s “falling” in love with her, not that he IS is in love with her. Because that would’ve been asinine on their first date. He’s just setting her up for what’s to come later. Obviously when you throw that out there so early, if you DON’T say you love her by later on, she’ll think you’re not into her. And I’m sure Bryan knows this. He’s laid on every cheesy line so far this season, so this is working out perfectly for him. Great. Now rub your elbows down her spine.

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  1. rob22

    June 27, 2017 at 9:06 AM

    It’s probably just me, but I’m getting a “Jef Holm” feel from Bryan. Rachel thinks he’s so smooth, but it just feels like a con from a smooth operator. I don’t know if he’s pulling his lines off the internet like Jef did, but Bryan looks to me like a guy playing the part of a guy who’s interested in Rachel. He says exactly what he knows he needs to say. Is he interested in some shagging? Of course. Beyond that, I see this as something very short-lived. Then Bryan will go on a victory tour and see how many Bachelorette alums he can nail. Hey, I’m probably WAY out there, but that’s what I’m seeing and feeling.

  2. crushonspivey

    June 27, 2017 at 9:18 AM

    This show just keeps getting worse, and seems to want to push it more and more. Shamelessly. Fleiss, Elan and ABC have created a mess, a race-baiting mess. And Rachel has deserved much better than they are giving her.

    ABC is taking the heat, but Fleiss and Elan need to get called out personally for this abomination and they are in charge of this mess. They made Rachel keep Lee too long, stoked the flames of racism for TV enjoyment to create a 2 on 1 conflict(hey producers–pushing Lee and Kenny towards race related in not cool TV, it is despicable). Sorry, but picking Rachel, then race bating for a storyline is cause for apology, and the production company needs to apologize.

    This storyline and then the BIP issues shows Fleiss has lost control on his show, and keep pushing it in terrible ways. Sex, booze, drugs, race baiting. Congrats.

  3. rob22

    June 27, 2017 at 9:21 AM

    BTW: Lee shouldn’t get any kind of pass for not understanding the racial implications of calling Kenny “aggressive”. Lee isn’t 15 years old and he lives in Tennessee where the racial divide plays out pretty publicly. Lee understands perfectly what he was saying to Kenny. But he spoke using enough “code” that he can claim surprise when he gets called out on it. That’s what is done in the south (I live in the south btw). People speak in code, and everyone understands what is meant. And everyone also understands that guys like Lee will hide behind words like Political Correctness or “Being misunderstood” or “they played the race card” to obscure their intent. Lee is a bad guy. Kenny shouldn’t have taken the bait, and doing so hurt him, but it’s not hard to understand why Lee got under his skin.

  4. rob22

    June 27, 2017 at 9:23 AM

    @crushonspivey: I agree 100%. The Producers role in Lee’s race baiting cannot be ignored either.

  5. instigator911

    June 27, 2017 at 9:30 AM

    @rob22 – I agree with you in that Bryan seems a little too slick. I also noticed last night that Bryan seems cosmetically enhanced. I’d bet a few dollars that he’s doing Botox and filler. If that’s the case – that’s odd and would be a turnoff for me.

    As far as Lee — he’s just a slimeball. Regardless of his past tweets – he is pretty transparent. None of his portrayal seems unfair – he is exactly what Kenny calls him — a snake.

  6. allaboutme

    June 27, 2017 at 9:44 AM

    I keep getting the Ed vibe from Bryan, which I think is worse than the Jef H. vibe.

  7. Del Scorcho

    June 27, 2017 at 10:00 AM

    Bryan was on a show called “The Player” so I don’t think for 1 second that he is genuine.

    Also, Reality Steve says in his podcasts that he doesn’t make fun of people’s physical attributes that they can’t control, yet makes fun of Lee being short. Hmmm…

  8. biscuit

    June 27, 2017 at 10:34 AM

    IA with both crushonspivey and rob22 regarding Lee and the franchise promoting the racial divide. I would love to know Rachel’s take on all this now that she’s had to opportunity to view the interactions of Lee’s IM as well as all the guys take on Lee’s actions. I wonder if Rachel now has a different viewpoint of Kenny. In last night’s episode, Rachel said there was some truth from both parties where in actuality there was no truth coming from the lips of Lee.

    Kenny appears to have been very sincere in his feelings for Rachel. Mind you, he too could have been there for the purpose of his brand promotion, but from what I’ve seen so far, he seems sincere. Unfortunately he is the recipient of intentional provoking and drama storyline from the franchise and Lee. If Kenny really had a desire to get to know Rachel, that was not going to happen because what mattered most to the show was the making of drama.

    I also wonder what Kenny’s thoughts are on this whole experience. He has to know it wasn’t a fluke Lee was cast. If he were at a regular work place, he would have grounds for discrimination and harassment suit. You sign (contract) your life away and dignity being on show like this.

  9. allaboutme

    June 27, 2017 at 10:49 AM

    Jordan is more sincere about JoJo than Bryan is about Rachel. Who would have guessed?

  10. dtandie

    June 27, 2017 at 12:02 PM

    Yes, he told Ashley Spivey that and then he went on to use the word midget (I can’t believe he doesn’t know how politically incorrect that is these days!) He also went on and on, criticizing Dean’s appearance.

  11. instigator911

    June 27, 2017 at 12:32 PM

    I actually thought the references by Steve about Dean looking young were a bit tiresome and oddly excessive. I think Dean is super sexy.

  12. rob22

    June 27, 2017 at 12:54 PM

    Regarding Dean and RS’s comments, I agree. A couple of podcasts back he went on and on about Dean being a teenager or looking like one. I had to watch more closely and when I did, I was scratching my head. He’s 26, and doesn’t look excessively young. Yes, he’s younger than Rachel, but she’s in her 30s. Dean’s pretty much in the sweet spot of the typical contestant. It’s not like he’s 20, 22 or 23, or something. I just found that whole line of commentary to be weird, especially since it went on and on. If he continued to do that on a following podcast (I decided that I cannot listen to another one), I guess he thinks he found a funny line to pull out over and over.

  13. tjudd

    June 27, 2017 at 3:44 PM

    I’m from the south & I have never heard that the word “agressive” is code for something. How is that racially motivated? Trust me, I’m not a fan of Lee’s by any stretch of the imagination, but I think it’s grasping at straws to say he’s being racist!!

  14. tjudd

    June 27, 2017 at 3:47 PM

    I hope that’s sarcasm about the midget part. Cuz seriously, I still call people that. I have a friend who is one & she thinks its hysterical? All this PC bs is getting ridiculous!

  15. elizabeth82

    June 27, 2017 at 3:47 PM

    I read Kristen Baldwin’s recaps on Yahoo because her tweets are funny. Her recaps go up the same nights as the episodes. Maybe Steve reads them too because these passages are really similar, amirite?

    Steve: “Josiah then tells Rachel he’s 100% convinced she’s the woman for him, she’s the woman of his dreams, and he wants to grow old with her. Rachel essentially tells him to slow his roll cuz she’s not even close to being on that level with him. He doesn’t even ask her anything about herself, just spews out how much he wants her. That doesn’t go over well and Josiah’s days are numbered.”

    Kristen: “Rachel is loving all of it — until Josiah implies that God told him they’re going to be together. ‘I just want to grow old with you,’ he says. ‘And I really, really mean that, Rachel.’ The Bachelorette is all, slow your roll, pal. ‘You never really ask questions about me,’ she tells him, adding that she wants him to learn things about her by asking, not by reading them in a tabloid. Yeah, Josiah’s days are probably numbered.”

  16. taxionna

    June 27, 2017 at 4:44 PM

    instigator911 – you are so right! Brian has definitely had some fillers/botox on his face. Really brings out the uncanny valley.

    tjudd – when you have multiple men of color telling you that it’s a dog-whistle for racism, you should probably listen to them.

    more information here:

  17. rob22

    June 28, 2017 at 7:50 AM

    tjudd: you’ve honestly never heard the “aggressive black man” talk track. “Black men are violent, dangerous people”. Unfortunately people post stuff like this all over social media and comments sections. That’s why calling him “aggressive” was code. It was shorthand for “aggressive black man”. He just left of the last two words to make it more ambiguous and less obviously racist. I could entertain the possibility that a lot of people could make that kind of statement not realizing that they were making a racially charged comment. I just can’t entertain it for Lee. He knew what he was doing. That was something that wasn’t lost on either the black men or the white men on the show. There were several comments to that effect from several contestants.

  18. allaboutme

    June 28, 2017 at 7:52 AM

    tjudd – Also, watch Little Women to hear how toxic the M word is. Or – just Google it.

  19. jlal

    June 28, 2017 at 8:32 AM

    To the person on here and apparently RS too, yes midget is a bad, bad, label. just like using the term retarded is bad. Just because people are more aware these days about what is offensive to certain groups doesn’t make being PC bad. I’d like to think progress vs. PC is to credit. There was all kinds of terms used in the past for women, blacks, disabled people, etc. that are NOT funny. People should know better today.

    Bryan has definitely had work. Botox and fillers in the cheeks are my guess. Vanity aside, I like him though.

  20. jlal

    June 28, 2017 at 9:16 AM

    I think Rachel is the most intelligent, classy, and well spoken bachelorette they have ever had. I have only caught two grammar errors and those were using the wrong pronoun, he vs. him and I vs. me which unfortunately most people do.

    Lee was hired and most likely kept on the show by the producers to cause trouble. It is unfortunate the producers decided to use the race card. Sad, and desperate really. After the Chad backlash I would have thought they would figure out the most of us watch for the lead bachelor or ette, not to have the show be about what conflict they create.

  21. pwaagg

    June 28, 2017 at 1:33 PM

    Literally couldn’t agree more. This is exactly what I was thinking when I watched this scene. And knowing what he’s said about race issues in the past, we know he knew exactly what he was doing when making those statements.

  22. pwaagg

    June 28, 2017 at 1:35 PM

    Seriously? Have you not seen his racist tweets? He’s completely racist. And it’s a very common race baiting move – calling black women or women of color/giving them the “angry black woman” title and calling black men “aggressive”.

  23. sam837

    June 29, 2017 at 3:03 PM

    It’s funny everyone keeps commenting on Lee’s racism toward Blacks, when he has made way more overtly hateful, bigoted, disparaging remarks against Muslims. But I guess that’s ok because hatred against Muslims is the last acceptable form of xenophobia. Being Muslim, and a longtime Bachelor fan, I find him highly offensive, and find it offensive that that part of his hatefulness is brushed under the rug.

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