Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” “Men Tell All” Spoilers, DeMario & Britney Spears, and A Spoiler Slip Up

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

Been following Bachelor/Bachelorette for a long time, having missed a few seasons, but this particular season made me want to give my view on the leading girl/guys. It made me reflect on Trista’s season where I was sure Trista was going to pick Charlie and to my pleasant surprise, went to the gentle soul instead. I was hoping Rachel would pick the deeper, genuine man in the end and give up on the stupid engagement ring demand but it didn’t happen.

In the end, how it all has played out makes me think Rachel actually is a match with Bryan. I see her somewhat materialistic, don’t find (m)any special qualities that would make me look up to her (not that I or anyone would have to). The expectations were probably too high, her being the first black bachelorette and all. I understand she is nice to her friends and family but that isn’t enough in life. So far, I see both Rachel and Bryan looking forward to future as in buying a big house, driving around in luxurious cars, buying more matching items, participating in lots of celebrity events etc. I don’t see them in contributing to the community for example. My bad, since I respect those that do: Kiptyn, Tenley, Ben and Graham to name a few. I also see that Peter is doing that at least in some level. I also see that Bryan is too obsessed and he seems possessive to me. How an independent woman like Rachel can cope with that in the long run, I am not sure. It may be flattering in the beginning but can wear you out eventually. I certainly would not want to have a man who is so totally controlled by his mother. I think Peter would have given Rachel space. Well, this is Rachel’s life so she has to live with her decisions. Anyhow, I found it interesting how Rachel got into defense mode when asked about Dean’s opinion about Bryan and Bryan’s player history. Seemed she doesn’t take critique well.

Sure Peter isn’t perfect either. Does he have to be? Those bitter women reporting and bashing him (ha) in my opinion tells more about the women than the actual target. I think it was really refreshing to finally see a guy who is not ready to propose to a woman after a few dates. I know it can be frustrating to be in a situation where you wait for the man to make up his mind about you (been there) but that’s all you can do. Except fro Rachel who was in a real hurry to get engaged. I think Peter really is a catch and will be a good man to someone when he settles down. He just shouldn’t take the Bachelor gig unless he is not obliged to propose at the end. It wouldn’t work well for him otherwise. And he could have kept quiet about his opinions about the other guy.

Good luck in future spoilings!

(Pardon my French!)

Comment: What bitter women bashing him? Have I missed this? I haven’t seen anything.

Hi Steve,

Do you think it’s possible that Eric might be chosen to be the next Bachelor? Early in the season, he was getting kind of a bad edit, and Peter was getting a great one. But now Eric is getting a better edit, and Peter is getting the not-ready-to-propose edit.

I tend to think they won’t choose Eric, to be terribly frank, because he comes from the kind of black background that a large chunk of the Bachelor audience won’t be comfortable with. Rachel comes from a very different kind of class background – I mean, her father’s a federal judge! She’s “comfortable.” Eric isn’t. On top of that, there still are plenty of audience members who will have a hard time dealing with a black man kissing white women, so if they’re going to choose a black Bachelor, my guess he’s going to be one that makes those kinds of viewers as comfortable as possible,

Or maybe I’m wrong. Eric just seems so much more sincere than most of the people on this show. I know approximately 100% of these people go on this show for reasons other than to find love, but I can see Eric being way more sincere than Peter as the Bachelor.

Comment: I don’t think it’s gonna be Eric, but not for the reasons you mentioned. It won’t be him because I think it’s gonna be Peter.

Hello Steve,

I’m aware the producers are constantly in communication with the cast and will often interject ideas and thoughts. Do you think or are you aware of them doing the same with family members? While I really liked Rachel’s family and thought they asked good questions, it also seemed liked they may have been coached. I also realize the show is heavily edited, however the family was skeptical of Bryan as soon as he walked in the door. He couldn’t complete his 1st sentence before the antennas went up. I agree with the question if someone can really fall in love during that short period of time and in that environment, but dang, that jumped on that at hello!

I don’t remember the family being that inquisitive when Rachel brought home Nick. Mind you, this is now their daughter in search of a life partner, so that ups the importance of the matter.

I was in total agreement with Mrs. Lindsay when she was in favor of Peter’s mindset of recognizing a proposal does not make sense at this phase of a relationship. I also agreed with the statement and mindset that Rachel and everyone else on that show is in a bubble, has not faced real life as a couple, and therefore not in a position to know how you really feel about one another let alone really know the person(s).

All in all, I do wonder if producers communicate and try to influence families as well to add to the drama.

Comment: Yes, they absolutely plant ideas and topics in the family’s head to bring up in conversation.

Hi Steve,

Guess what!! Fan from Port Harcourt, NIGERIA!!! Yes Yes! Long time reader, first time mailing you. Hope you are good.

I discovered your site after Desiree’s season and I’ve been hooked ever since. You do a great job. I’ve got a lot to say.

Firstly, Rachel has given a good account of herself. Really love her, my favorite so far.

My thoughts on Peter. He’s the one who said he was looking at rings just three months into a prior relationship and now, it’s crazy to think of proposing. HE’S NOT JUST INTO HER! Congrats to him because the Bachelor gig is his. He calculated and played his cards right.

Bryan! Bryan! I actually like him for her. Can seem a bit too much at times but I figure if he was so shady, he should have been gunning for the Bachelor gig and not Rachel. Reminds me of how Britt (who I love BTW) was perceived.

Eric is cool but he needs emotional experience. Love his honesty.

So my questions are:

1) Are you surprised you have people that love what you do in Nigeria? Well, you’re certainly the first from Nigeria I believe to ever contact me, so yeah, I’d say I’m surprised.

2) Do you know if Bryan was this effusive with Jubilee? I don’t think it was ever serious serious with them. But they definitely did date. The amount of dates they went on and what they did, that I don’t know.

3) Apart from Peter and Dean, did any other guy dislike Bryan? I’m not sure.

4) What led to the breakup between Becca and Robert, they seemed so right for each other. Haven’t really heard.

PS: Guests for your podcast I’d love: Melissa Rycoft, Shayne Lamas, Brooks.


Comment: I think maybe one of those three at most would be on. You can try to figure out who.

Hi Steve! Loving the podcast and columns. I’m surprised you haven’t had anyone mention Bryan’s cheeks possibly being implants or injected. They’re quite the hot topic. Heather McDonald discussed them on her pod and that’s not the only time I’ve heard it. Really? So this is a thing? Wow. Had no idea. It’s never even crossed my mind through 9 episodes. I guess I don’t pay attention to guys’ cheeks at all.

I was wondering what you thought about Peter. He went from almost untouchably well liked in the first couple episodes to where we are now. Why would they show it that way if they want him to be bachelor? It seems like they would have portrayed him better to the end. They could have left out some of the bad attitude and him acting like he’s not ready to propose. Just wondering if you’re still thinking it’s him.

Comment: See, I think the opposite. This absolutely sets up a storyline for next season for him. He didn’t think it was possible to fall for someone so hard on this show, so he closed himself off to it. But now he sees it’s possible and wants to give himself that chance after his lack of opening up cost him a shot at someone. It’s kinda what they do every season, actually.

After reading your report of Peter and how calculating he is I find myself vacillating between agreement with you and the words coming out of the mouth of Peter via editing. On one hand I agree with the thought of Peter doing what he needs to do to become the next Bachelor, especially since that seems to be his life dream based on his high school yearbook.

You also stated that don’t believe Peter was ever in love with her, falling in love with her, or even almost falling in love with her. Now this is where I, at times disagree with you. I feel he does have feelings for her, and they are strong. He has shown his disturbance of Rachel being with other men. He has shown wanting to be with her, missing her, and desire for her. Yes, this could all be because he’s in a competition and that within itself can stir emotions. However, it could be quite genuine. But everything Peter is saying, as far as not being ready to propose, his viewpoint of proposal means ready to plan and marry, and comfortable with commitment with dating…I am in total agreement.

If I considered being on this show, which, by the way is something I would never do because it is the most unrealistic environment out there and putting my relationship out for the world to see is not wise… but if I wanted to be considered, I would tell the producers I am all for the premise of this show in looking for love and ending with a proposal. However, after getting on the show, the communication with my top candidates would be in recognizing/acknowledging this “journey” is not the real world and I would not be ready to accept a proposal at the end. “Who” is moving “where” is the first of many things that can uproot this fairy tale of a relationship. There are so many things in life that can and will burst the “bubble” Mrs. Lindsay spoke of after the couple returns to life. So with that, all Peter is saying as far as where he is, I am in total agreement with that thought process.

For me, Rachel has been one of the most, if not the most real, level headed lead with a good head on shoulders person in both Bachelorette/Bachelor history. However, I think she is so focused on a proposal and not looking for a lifetime mate. While Peter was saying he probably can’t propose in 2 weeks, he did say he was committed to Rachel in pursuing the relationship which could very well lead to marriage. That makes more sense than proposing to an individual I barely know and one who just finished “dating” 24 other men. I totally agree with Peter in the seriousness of an engagement and only wanting to do that once with the person you will marry. Proposal/Engagement on this franchise does not have the same importance, commitment, and meaning I value and cherish.

Comment: I think Peter knew this show was a means to an end. He knew what to say and when to say it. And I think some of the stuff he said was strictly for TV purposes.


Thank you for your recaps and interesting perspectives on the Bach.

I just wanted to say I hope they don’t make Peter the next Bachelor. I would really like to see his tactic of becoming the next Bach fail. I’m sure he thinks he’s the perfect Sean Lowe kind of Bachelor guy, but he isn’t! He comes across as robotic and withholding. These qualities do not make a good marriage partner. I think the best kind of contestant to win the gig is easygoing, laughs easily, sweet, flip and expressive. I know these shows are more about the 25 people that come on the show to vie to win, but the gig needs to go to someone else. Peter should not be rewarded. You are right that he was never remotely in love with Rachel. He wants the opportunity to find someone he considers hot. ABC needs to keep looking for their next Bachelor.

Thank you for reading.

Comment: He definitely isn’t the most outgoing personality for sure. And he does talk in sentence fragments, seems to be very calculating before every sentence, and has a reserved quality to him. With that said, did Sean Lowe jump out to you as Mr. Personality? Ben Higgins? Chris Soules? The answer to those would be “No, no, and no.” So yeah, in the end, the lead really doesn’t matter all that much when it comes to substance. Peter checks all the boxes in the style and looks department, and that’s good enough for the female audience.


I agree with you that the odds are pretty good that she sends Peter home before the final rose ceremony. She has been very focused on what she wants, so why go there.

I don’t see any way that you are at risk with Rachael/Bryan regarding keeping your promise to buy a wedding gift. They may still be together and happy in the bubble, but I don’t see psycho-mom accepting anything other than subservience from Rachael – and that aint happening.

Comment: If they don’t make it, no skin off my back. It’s not like a wedding gift is gonna set me back and I cheer against it or something. If it happens, great. Time will tell with these two, but sure, the odds are against them.

Hey Steve,
Loving your podcasts, especially when you’re able to interview leads, it’s a whole new perspective on the Bachelor world and it’s fascinating. Very much hoping you’ll be able to interview Kaitlyn at some point in the future (maybe after her final part of her contract is up) since the show has really burned bridges with her and vice versa, I’d love to hear what she candidly has to say. Since she has her own podcast now, I’m wondering if you’d have more luck going on her podcast a la Olivia. Time will tell.

Do you know if there’s a lifetime or many year long non-disclosure agreement that contestants or more importantly leads have to sign? It seems like leads like Kaitlyn who are very outspoken towards the franchise would eventually speak out since its not like she’s missing out on a lot if she does.

Comment: The contract is so loose ended now and certain people seem to be able to get away with things now moreso than others. So it’s really impossible to say what the contract says at this point, let alone what gets enforced versus what doesn’t. Hell if I know since it seems like everyone has loose lips these days.

Hi Steve

I was just wondering if you could clear up a few things for me. It seems to me that it’s clear that peter is the best and strongest candidate to be the next bachelor and you’ve said that it’s basically peter’s gig if he wants it. I’d love it to be him but Chris Harrison is saying things that are confusing me. Could you break this down for me and what he means by all of this because it’s clear that peter is in serious talks with them to be the bachelor. I watched an interview with Chris Harrison from the men tell all taping and they asked him if any of Rachel’s final 4 could be the next bachelor he said “I could see all of them as the next bachelor which is the problem right now. its obviously not a set rule but it is tradition to pick someone from the previous season because the audience has an emotional tie to that person.” He also went on to say all of the 4 men have a story that could lend as a segway to be the bachelor and that “it’s likely a bachelor could come out of it” He started to throughout names of the 4 guys and says “honestly the reason I can throughout names is because we haven’t named our next bachelor yet and we’re far from it and we also haven’t gone to paradise yet. We will let paradise play out a little more until we decide who our bachelor is gonna be.” That just leaves me so confused because to me it seems like there is an obvious choice. Even considering Dean and Eric they both don’t seem able to carry or are ready to carry the show. Even the guys on paradise this season, I really couldn’t see any of those guys being the next bachelor it wouldn’t make sense and none of them seem ready yet either. If they really were to pick someone not from paradise or rachel’s season it we be super confusing to the audience in my opinion. You have said peter is definitely being considered for the role but is he from your knowledge so far the strongest candidate? Chris is making it seem like abc is definitely seriously considering more then one person. Especially if he said there waiting to see how it goes with paradise first. Is Chris just saying lines to say them because of the changes they have done with picking leads now? Does Chris actually know what is going on behind the scenes of picking the next lead? I also have a hard to believing anything Chris says but I’m struggling with if he’s actually telling the truth. Is abc actually really unsure of who they want or is he just saying all these lines to please fans who want any of the 4 guys as the next bachelor?

Comment: Chris is just being a mouthpiece for the show. They haven’t made their decision yet. He needs to keep people in suspense. And technically he’s not lying when he says they’re looking at any of the final 4 guys because I’m sure they are. How seriously are they looking at Dean and Eric? Not very. Which is what Chris will never address.

Hi Steve,

So I know they can chop stories together in editing. They can also take things out of context. I was wondering if they were allowed to take what Rachel (or the lead or anyone) is saying about someone and make it sound like another person?


ITM Rachel: peter is so reserved but he makes me laugh

On show voice over:

We see Eric doing his dance (insert Rachel) “he makes me laugh”

Always wanted to know ethically how far they can or do go.

Comment: They’ve done 100x worse than that. But yes, the contract does state they can misrepresent your character in any way they want and you have zero recourse to sue or do anything legally against it.

Hey Steve!

Long time reader, first time emailer… yada yada yada.

Your recent podcast with Ben made me wonder, do you know if no Bachelor has ever been allowed to let his runner up go early or that none have ever asked?

Love the podcasts and the openness of the guests! I look forward to then every week.

Comment: I’m sure some have asked earlier in the season that they didn’t want to be there anymore and they were talked into staying around. As for who, I wouldn’t know any specifics. But knowing how many others over the years have asked to leave the show and were talked into staying, I don’t see why that wouldn’t pertain to someone who made final 2.

Hey Steve,

Just a couple of questions: I’d say 7 is more than a couple unless my math sucks.

1. This is a far reach back, but do you think that you could have Krisily Kennedy on the podcast in the future? She’s seems like a very candid person and I feel as though she would be a very fun listen. No interest in talking to her.

2. Who of the final BIP couples, just based purely of what you have heard, do you predict will last the longest? Probably Derek and Taylor.

3. Do certain producers get the same “character” each season (i.e. villain, weird person)? I’m sure it’s happened, but it’s not set in stone.

4. Also, do producers get the same contestants on BIP that they had on Bachelor/ette? Same answer as above.

5. Could you see them doing a live final rose ceremony on the Paradise reunion show, kind of like what they did for Charlie’s season of The Bachelor? I’d be surprised if the reunion show was taped. But I guess it’s possible it could be.

6. When contestants go on Paradise, does the time they are given on their original contracts until they can do or be on certain things (like other shows outside of the franchise) get extended? That gets tricky because we’ve seen so many instances where people do things and you ask yourself, “I thought they couldn’t do that because of their contract?” Basically certain people get to do things that others don’t. That’s just the way it is now.

7. I know you are hearing that they want Peter as the next Bachelor, but I feel as though Wells being the Paradise bartender could be his “audition” for Bachelor, kind of like it was for Nick. Do you feel as though this could be a possibility? I don’t think they’d go with Wells.

Thanks Steve!

1. What did Jef Holm do to the producers to keep him from the show? lol I love that they don’t put him on, personally, think he’s the absolute worst, but I’m just wondering if anything happened there or if you had to guess why. Maybe just because he’s a giant douche? That’s like half of the guys though, no? If you go back to the Sean & Catherine wedding and start your research there, you might be able to find out where it all started.

2. Do you think because of Peter’s comments about not knowing if he could really fall for Rachel in such a short time, that producers will steer away from him being the next bachelor? I mean, totally reasonable for him to think that but definitely not what the producers want I’m sure. Or do they just not give a sh** anymore about people seeming like they truly want love? Ha. Just from a viewers prospective, though, hearing Peter being unsure and then putting himself again in the same situation, it doesn’t make sense. No. It’s the exact reason why I think he’ll get it. They’ll build the storyline around how he’s now open to finding love after being so skeptical which they’ve basically done with everyone else who’s ever become the lead. They’ve never given a sh** towards making this show about love.

3. Have you thought about putting Emily Maynard on your podcast? That would be interesting to hear. I feel like she was such a beloved bachelorette and then she just went back to real life and started a family and I always admire that in these contestants… the ones who come on the show, take advantage of their opportunities sure, but don’t make it their life. I’ve thought about a lot of people that you haven’t heard on.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page, or listen to all my podcasts at Apple Podcasts. Talk to you tomorrow.

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  1. mrsechevarria

    July 26, 2017 at 8:21 AM

    Bryan has bypassed Jef Holm as my least liked contestant, but Bryan is still behind Nick. I like Rachel. She deserves much better than that cheese wheel ? The plus to her choosing Bryan is that he will not be The Bachelor! I’d skip that like I skipped Nick’s season!

  2. taxionna

    July 26, 2017 at 9:32 AM

    I am a long-time reader and have listened to every podcast, but I just have to say that Steve’s choice to interview McCarthy, and then his subsequent decision to play soft-ball with her is just so, so irresponsible. He prides himself on being open and honest and asking that the contestants he interviews answer the tough questions, but the minute he gets a minor celebrity on, he just turns into a puddle of complementary mush? I find that to be pretty disingenuous.

    Jenny McCarthy’s claim that vaccine’s cause autism (which is completely inaccurate and has been disproven time and time again) is one of the reasons the anti-vaxx movement has picked up steam in recent years and has put so many people at risk. The decision to have her on and NOT address that is a completely irresponsible and short-sighted one. Very disappointed in this.

  3. shenanigans

    July 26, 2017 at 3:56 PM

    I am no fan of Jenny McCarthy. However, I’d like to think that parents with autistic children are NOT relying on a D list celebrity for medical advice. If they are wise, they will rely upon their doctors.

  4. yoyotono

    July 26, 2017 at 4:04 PM

    I guess we will have to see how long Rachel and Bryan last. I wonder how many interviews his mom will accompany him to. She may want to move in with them too lol.

    For the reader e-mail about which seasons were worth watching: Sean’s was my favorite. Sean himself isn’t that exciting of a personality, it’s the women in the house (Tiara mainly). Chris’ season for Kelsey then the elimination date in the Badlands.

    Steve shouldn’t be discussing the anti-vaccination movement with Jenny McCarthy, this is an entertainment site. I agree with his decision not to.

    I wonder if DeMario did all these controversies on purpose. Every time he’s on a show, he’s in the middle of something. That video proves it.

    Is Kaitlyn going into music? She snapped something about a song writing session?

  5. yoyotono

    July 26, 2017 at 4:06 PM

    @Shenanigans Good point!

  6. elizabeth82

    July 26, 2017 at 9:19 PM

    Agreed re Sean’s season being an especially good one–I was thinking “huh?” when Steve mentioned Ben H. and not Sean.

    Steve: “Peter checks all the boxes in the style and looks department, and that’s good enough for the female audience.” Not for this female. I don’t like Peter because he’s blah, too resentful of Bryan, and seems like he’s only interested in being the next Bachelor. The show has been receptive to who viewers want to see as next Bach, so I’m looking forward to Steve’s prediction about Peter not coming true. I’d take Dean or Eric over him for the next lead.

  7. ladyjane747

    July 26, 2017 at 9:46 PM

    I agree about Peter – just don’t get the fascination. He’s very blah, but that’s okay for The Bachelor since the women will be front and center. Rachel always has to demand affection from him and it just comes naturally with Bryan. Those two have a spark for sure, most likely chemical attraction at this point. I don’t get all the hate for Bryan. I like him, and I’m pretty sure the show exaggerated his mother’s attachment to him. LOL Peter came in wanting to be The Bachelor, and Bryan came in wanting Rachel.

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