-Like, if the “Bachelorette” were the next season to roll around, you’d think by last night’s episode, they’re just prepping for Kristina to be their girl. Geez. Could they have made her any more of a sympathetic figure if they tried? It was basically “feel sorry for Kristina” night because, well, Dean was being a Grade A douchebag. Look, I’m well aware that Dean was probably told by production to present DLo with a half birthday cake, but still, that was ridiculous. Who the f**k celebrates a half birthday? On television. With a cake. When you’re just starting to patch things up with girl #1. Obviously that was done for drama purposes, and really didn’t HAVE to be celebrated, but for TV, it made for the appropriate reaction from Kristina, which is exactly what they wanted.
-They made it seem like that first cocktail party was this giant struggle of who was gonna get whose rose. And maybe there was some question mark behind one guy, but for the most part, exactly who you expected to go home did go home. Robby was the only one you seriously questioned, but c’mon. You think the “Social Media Influencer” came on this show to get eliminated at the first rose ceremony? Please. Robby has some teeth whitening to pimp out. And some athletic wear that’s no different than any of the other 500 brands of athletic clothes you can get. And somewhere down the line, maybe he’ll start shilling guyliner. Or whatever keeps hair poofed to the side in even the worst humidity. Robby is an island unto himself. Just let the guy carry around a mirror the rest of the show and I think the rest of us will be much better off. As will he.
-Speaking of Robby, he and Amanda had a nice little talk at the cocktail party before the rose ceremony. Robby acknowledged that him and Josh were friends, but, that he’d rather call him Anonymous from here on out, and Anonymous already had his chance with her, so now it’s his turn. Soooooo Robby and Josh are now eskimo brothers. Although, Robby and Josh aren’t buds anymore and you can probably guess why. This is pretty much the exact example why there’s zero code when it comes to these people. It doesn’t matter who’s dated who, or who’s slept with who previously, ZERO people are off limits. Even if they’re in relationships. Oh the stories I’ve heard, the DM’s I’ve seen, and the texts I’ve read. And I’d say it’s mostly being done by the guys. They. Have. No. Shame.
-Before the rose ceremony, Dean made sure to track Kristina down to tell her, “Look, we’ve gone from 0-100 so fast. Lets tap the brakes a little bit. But hey, I still like you.” Translation: I’m in Paradise and women love me. If you think for a second I’m putting all my eggs in your basket, you’re crazy. And that just about sums up Dean in a nutshell. How people could even consider him as the next “Bachelor” is beyond me. Sorry people, it’s just not happening. Not just because of what happens on BIP, but just overall he’d be an ever tougher sell to America than Peter would. At least Peter seemingly has his sh** together. Dean is a lost cause. The guy wants his cake and eat it too. DLO, Kristina, others…it doesn’t matter. The guy is enjoying his time playing the field right now, so let him. No need to put him as the “Bachelor.”
-Rose ceremony time, and a lot of these were pretty easy just based on who they showed getting pulled aside during the cocktail party.
Taylor to Derek
Jasmine to Matt
Raven to Adam
Alexis to Jack
Lacey to Diggy
Danielle to Ben Z.
Kristina to Dean
Amanda to Robby
Your eliminations were: Iggy Rodriguez, Nick Benvenutti, Vinny Venteria, and Alex Woytkiw. Was anyone really disappointed those 4 went home? Didn’t think so. They really only showed Iggy and Alex practically begging for roses at that cocktail party. Nick and Vinny were nowhere to be found trying to pull out any desperation tactics. They will not be missed.
