Reality Steve


Podcast #58 – Interviews with Arie & Peter’s Ex-Girlfriends, Sydney Stempfley and Brittany Hansen

Well, to say today’s podcast might generate a reaction or two would be a understatement. Since the season is starting in four days, we have two women on the podcast today who know a little bit about the guy who is the “Bachelor” and the guy who was originally set to the “Bachelor,” and that’s Arie & Peter’s ex-girlfriends. You may remember Sydney as she spoke with ET 5 days after Arie was announced, but that was in September and I know she has a different perspective on things than she did then. As for Brittany, probably very few know about her relationship with Peter, when it even took place and that from the time he got home from filming Rachel’s season, it continued quite seriously. Today is their chance to tell their side of what happened. Kinda two different interviews. I know what you’re expecting, but Sydney’s is not a bash job on Arie. She’s honest about what happened, the mistakes they both made, and how everything made her feel. Since no one really has any clue what happened with Brittany, I just suggest you give it a listen. Not to mention you’ll get a never-before-told story on how Brittany played a role in me changing my Rachel spoiler. I want to thank both of these women for coming forward today. They are well aware of the negativity that certain “fans” will throw at them for no other reason than they believe Arie & Peter can do no wrong, but they still felt it was important enough to tell their side. As always, if you want to react to this podcast, please include their Twitter handles (@SydneyStempfley & @BossyBrittany) in your replies. No need to attack them, call them names, etc. Just because you may like one or both of these guys doesn’t mean what these women have to say isn’t true or isn’t important. Because it is. I’ve included pictures and text message conversations below to verify some of the stories they tell during their podcasts. I know some people will want to go all conspiracy theory on them, but there are no conspiracy theories here. Just two women telling their story of what it was like dating Arie & Peter respectively. Hope you might see things a little differently after today. Enjoy.

You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts, RSS, Stitcher, Spotify
Music written by Jimmer Podrasky
(B’Jingo Songs/Machia Music/Bug Music BMI)

(SPOILERS) First up, Sydney joins me to talk about the two of us came in contact, how & when she met Arie (11:12), how did she view their relationship (14:51), their first date and her meeting his dad (17:56), the biggest red flags in their relationship (22:10), cheating rumors regarding Arie (24:24), Arie and Courtney’s relationship & how it affected their relationship (30:29), Arie contacting Sydney since filming has ended (41:19), her feelings now (53:07). We are then joined by Brittany who talks about why she decided to come forward now (1:04:40), how she met Peter and their relationship up until he left to film Rachel’s season (1:07:30), how she initially found out the guy she was dating was possibly going on the “Bachelorette” (1:10:05), for the first time ever I discuss how Brittany played a major role in me changing my Rachel spoiler (1:22:10), when did things start to go south with them (1:28:14), why she thinks speaking out can help others (1:35:01), and is her relationship with Peter repairable (1:43:58).

Twitter – @SydneyStempfley
Instagram – sydneystempfley

Here are two screenshots of stories she mentioned in the podcast. First one was when Courtney left a vague comment on Arie’s IG that was deleted, and the second one being the text exchange between them on the day of the breakup:

Pictures of Sydney & Arie together during the course of their relationship:

And of course this one I just find quite humorous…


Twitter – @BossyBrittany
Instagram – bossybrittany

These are some of the text messages that Brittany references during the podcast. Things Peter was saying to her just weeks, some even days, before leaving to film Rachel’s season. Kinda makes you call bullsh** on everything you heard fly out of his mouth to Rachel now…

More texts from before he left for filming. If this doesn’t tell you his ulterior motives, I don’t know what does. Straight from the horses mouth. “Gonna use my looks, kindness, and charm to advance my dreams for my career…” Holy ego, Batman!

And I’m sorry, but this is just weird. Any chance we can get #CanIHaveAPictureOfYourFace trending? Or how about #KeepSake? Bhahahahahahahahahaha…if this wasn’t so manipulative, it’d be comical.

And finally, Episode 7 of the “He Said, She Said” monthly podcast with Sharleen Joynt is up right now at Stitcher Premium. Click on that link, use the Promo Code: STEVE, and you can get the first month free. After that, it’s $4.99/month or $29.99 if you sign up for a year, which gives you access to all of Stitcher’s podcast library. It’s a monthly podcast that Sharleen and I are doing to talk about all things relationship/marriage/dating/sex based. In this month’s holiday episode, there are no phone calls, but we discuss her recent appearance on Kaitlyn’s podcast, what her elevator pet peeves are (which is fascinating), her decision to go vegan, posting more of her singing on social media, and then we talk about this idea of possibly falling in love with two different women on the show, as Arie is claiming he did this season.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you next week.



  1. kathyfrank1222

    December 28, 2017 at 9:42 AM

    Wow, the Peter crazies heads will explode.

  2. tinyred500

    December 28, 2017 at 2:59 PM

    Gosh! Both podcasts were interesting to say the least. Firstly, I thought both women came across very well, both mature and both learnt valuable but hard lessons. I have no idea why anyone would want troll them though, that’s so immature and mean of others. I know some men and women run to the media if they want to milk a story or get their own 15 minutes of fame after a break up, but it’s very clear neither Sydney nor Britteny are about that. I don’t think any differently about Arie, he’s a playboy most certainly, but he’s never come across as a mean and nasty man …just not yet a good boyfriend or husband material. As for Peter, he sounds far far the worst out of the two men. Too many going (and being allowed) into the franchise to seek fame and further their careers, etc now …I feel sorry for any contestants that are truly genuine (there has to be some?!), if they are competing with so many fake contestants. 🙁

    I wish them both women the best and hope both men leave them alone now. 🙂

  3. justme362426

    December 29, 2017 at 7:16 AM

    Bravo, Reality Steve. Man, I love this guy! And good job, Brittany. Be happy you burned this bridge. Don’t look back.

    Peter carries himself like garbage based on what BH says, and she sounds truthful for the most part. There might be things she’s leaving out, but everything she does say sounds credible. Rachel dodged a bullet. BH should not take this man back unless she enjoys being a doormat, or even worse, a toilet.

    Congratulations, Steve, on not being charmed by Prince NONcharming. Peter is so effing bland. Come delete and block this, Peter Kraus, as you would on your own page with your devotees. Peter “Jim Jones” Kraus is who you are. You make the hardworking blue collar guy look like Jesus.

  4. sylargirl

    December 29, 2017 at 8:52 AM

    so Arie was being a chicken, but still a nice guy in general.
    Wow but what Peter did was just naaasty. Why in the world would you watch your love making session on tv with your GIRLFRIEND..Holy moly. Thats messed up.
    I dont know what he could say to straighten this one up.

    I’m glad these two women speakinh up about this, hey its a lesson for everybody. but realitySteve please dont get into #MeToo movement train by this. This is far from assault, violence or criminal abuse. By categorizing this into the #MeToo movement basically you over minimize the meaning of the hastag itself. Come on.

    But Hey I’m glad reality steve podcast is now less gossipy, more of just sharing experiences. Ever since You did Amanda Stantons episode, You dont just trash people but sharing the truth from one’s perspective. Keep up the good work.
    And yes, dont trash these women, They didnt trash those men, They clearly have been through roller coaster of emotion that affected their life, their physical or mental health.
    Its hard to share traumatizing experience that was caused by someone that has been on the public eye potrayed as a lead.
    Ive been there too, its nasty situation and hey all the 4 guy friends that guy had, sided with me now and no longer friends with that guy. Yeah because the guy was toxic toxic toxic

  5. soren

    December 29, 2017 at 1:41 PM

    It was selfish of Arie to contact Sydney some weeks ago to ask how she’s doing. Knowing he has power over her since she had more feelings for him than he did her, he should stop feeding his ego. He cheated during their relationship, unbeknownst to her. Not to mention he’s engaged now. It reminds me of when he was liking pictures of his F2 Lauren after spoiling his own season. I know his fans will make the excuse that he’s such a nice guy that he genuinely wants to make sure these women are ok, like he’s a kid navigating relationships for the first time. Under the guise of a nice dummy, he gets away with it. Didn’t he try to contact Emily after filming wrapped on her season? Same selfish behavior.

  6. tinyred500

    December 29, 2017 at 3:00 PM

    I don’t think Sydney was making excuses for Arie, but she didn’t throw him under a bus either, she didn’t speak ill of him and I think we can safely say she’s knows him an awful lot better than an outsider such us ‘us’ here who have never met him. Arie did make contact with Emily, but she didn’t respond. It’s what the second and sometimes third runners up sometimes do (Sean tried to ring Emily) on either the Bachelor or Bachelorette, so I’m not going to judge Arie on that, because so many do it and are allowed to; the producers don’t seem to mind. Though I think it’s in poor taste to make contact, especially if you’ve only spent some 72 hours in total with the lead.

  7. inflighthoney

    December 29, 2017 at 5:19 PM

    I felt for Sydney. She seemed sweet and a bit inexperienced, but likeable.

    Brittany lost me the very second she said she “wasn’t intimidated because Peter had never dated a black girl.” Like what the F does that actually mean?? She would have been intimidated if it was a white Bachelorette? Holy. Smokes. I just can’t.

    Peter treated her poorly, but my sympathy tapped out with that statement. Interracial love is on the rise— even in small town Wisconsin. And doesn’t Peter have black friends? Just because he’d never dated a black girl, doesn’t mean Brittany should’ve counted out his possible attraction. ?

    Bottom line, neither of these men are rushing down the aisle, and neither of these girls were the right one for either of them.

    Dating is tough in this day and age, I see what my single friends deal with, I wish these two the best.

  8. bbean2

    December 30, 2017 at 3:01 PM

    Brittany stating that she wasn’t intimidated by Rachel b/c she’s black (& b/c Peter hasn’t dated a black woman before) reaks of a major superiority complex. Honey, humble yourself. You arent that attractive, & that white skin of yours didn’t stop Peter from leaving you after he’s had his fun with you. As for Peter, I’m not surprised. I could smell his BS from a mile away. His looks causes a lot of people to disregard his degenerate behavior.

  9. bachfan02

    December 31, 2017 at 4:57 AM

    Some have made much about Brittany’s comment regarding Peter not dating a black woman before the show. As a woman of color myself, I wasn’t offended because I’d considered the same thing. Something didn’t add up to me. Some people have “a type” that they’re often drawn to. Not always about a look, sometimes it’s about personality, but a look often play a role as well. This one likes buxom blondes, this one like pixie brunettes, or lush women or thin women). Some like spunky outgoing women, or nurturing, soft-spoken women etc. Not necessarily about race. Also, this doesn’t mean that person can’t be drawn to other “types” and interracial relationships are all around us. However, I did find it odd that Peter bragged about all his black male friends, but had never asked a woman of color out on a date in all his years. Lack of exposure to women of color, who were his personality type? Maybe. But then he decides the time is right to date diversely when the woman of color is the lead on a national TV show. Okay. Also, when he appeared on Ellen, he was one of two guys (Alex was the other, if my memory serves correctly) who said he hadn’t fantasized or thought about sleeping with Rachel. Hmmmm. Bryan had dated women of color before he was the show and in the spotlight. Actions speak louder than words.

  10. hldkd

    December 31, 2017 at 2:45 PM

    Wow! Those were excellent interviews! Steve, I have to say, you are a great interviewer. Also appreciate your adamant statements that people need to just listen to them before speaking about others in a negativity and ignorance.

    They both struck a lot of chords for me (it was trippy to hear their stories having lived in Scottsdale, Madison and Milwaukee!) and were very enlightening. After listening, I must admit that I misjudged Rachel’s ability to fairly describe Peter as emotionally manipulative so adamantly given the duration and context of the show, but Brittany’s experience confirmed Rachel’s assessment. I’ve been down her path – as I’m sure many women have – and it’s incredible what emotional manipulators (highly emotionally and intellectually adept individuals with a disordered attachment style) are capabale of doing to even the most educated and intelligent women. Proud of Brittany for owning her truth and hopefully helping other women to recognize these situations. It’s a total mindf**** to navigate and having others to help you understand it is key to getting out of these situations.

    I appreciate and really thank both Sydney and Brittany for sharing their stories and putting themselves out there!

  11. hldkd

    December 31, 2017 at 2:47 PM


  12. tinyred500

    January 1, 2018 at 9:12 AM

    Totally agree too, point well made and I’m glad someone said all this. Happy New Year! 😉

  13. tinyred500

    January 1, 2018 at 9:18 AM

    Agree so many females have been in the same situation as Brittany. I had it whilst studying at Uni. and so glad I saw it before it got the better of me. Some men just need to stay away from women.

  14. adelina

    January 2, 2018 at 6:45 AM

    I am not a “Peter crazy.” I listened to the entire podcast and I must say to Peter’s Ex Brittany…girl, live and learn. Someday you’ll look back on this relationship and realize you would never put up with what you put up with for as long as you did.

    There may have been some good in your relationship with Peter but when you experience that push pull in a relationship it’s because he’s not that into you and/or doesn’t know what he wants…which is up to you to walk away from.

  15. katieottawa

    January 2, 2018 at 12:55 PM

    have any of these women ever had bfs they went to school or worked with where after breaking up they still had to see them everyday and deal with it. Whining that you have to see your ex who didnt tell you he loves you or made things official with you for a year, on tv for a few months and “how hard it is”

    grow up

    she sounds young and naive.

    dont instagram bachelor douchebags on social media who are more than 10 years older than you. you reap what you sow

  16. katieottawa

    January 2, 2018 at 1:10 PM

    Sure these women are allowed to speak but the truth is with this me too movement is WOMEN HAVE NO STANDARDS. NONE. They are so desperate for bfs and so insecure they crave validation of someone finding them attractive and who shows them attention, they just put up with crap and with the bare minimum of effort or respect from the guys because they are so scared the dbag will run off. And the guys know it. It wouldnt be this bad if women actually spoke up when it was the time rather than after the fact. If a guy treats you like a slide piece for a year and you let him, thats on you, not him. sorry. it was up to you to put your foot down earlier and speak up.

    Then these women come whining to steve that they were mistreated and played with. The first one knew what she was getting into when she hit him up on instagram and slept with him the first night.

    Maybe we need to readvertise the book HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU for the younger people who are in the early 20s.

    Maybe it can teach them some common sense behavior on how men act when they are not into you.

    If a guy doesnt label you as his gf within a few months or doesnt make things exclusive, hes just not that into you.

    If a guy doesnt say i love you within a few months, he is not that into you.

    If a guys’ ex is still in the picture and hell blow u off to go hang out with her, hes not that into you.

    pretty simple

  17. katieottawa

    January 3, 2018 at 3:16 AM

    2nd girl …wow either was in total denial or doesnt have a clue and let herself be played and dragged for a year until he finally decided to end it with her

    when a guy tells you hes going on a dating show. no matter what bullcrap excuse he gives you its because he isnt into you

    if a guy blows hot and cold and you dont know where you stand, its because you dont stand anywhere and he just isnt into you.

    if a guy is seeing another woman, its because hes not into you

    Quit making excuses for these guys and hightail it out of there. Remember you are NOT THE EXCEPTION YOU ARE THE RULE. If you feel a guy isnt treating you the best he isnt going to magically come to his senses and then treat you like a queen, he is treating you that way because you are not important enough to him to want to make an effort to please you. You are just wasting your time and prolonging the inevitable breakup. You deserve better for yourself than some guy who obviously doesnt want to be with you and isnt ready for anything remotely serious.

    i dont want steve to become this go to guy and become involved in gossip with contestants and have former “gfs/groupies” use his platform to come and whine about how these dbags dropped them to do the show and blah blah blah. I get it, he wants to expose them for the players they are but we ALREADY know this. No one thinks any of these guys are genuine and looking to marry in the near future.

    I get Steve doesnt like Arie but I dont think Arie did anything wrong. He didnt dump her for the show like Peter did although again Peter was honest and told her STRAIGHT up he was going on the show. He didnt hide anything to her. Just because she didnt WANT to believe he would go thru with it when she could clearly see he was going to the meetings and going along with the process thats not his fault its hers. She was essentially in denial and a pushover he could clearly drag along as a backup option he could fall back on.

    She should have just ignored and blocked his calls a year ago.But she kept answering and being sucked back in and HE KNEW IT. oh well.

    I am a woman but i will defend these men mainly because i think women have poor judgement and have no standards or self worth. They just go along with whatever the guy wants no questions asked. They dont assert themselves and then they complain after that they were mistreated and played. NONE of these guys showed these women they were SERIOUS with them. Arie never made things official, public or told her he loved her in a year. Peter TOLD her he was going to go on a dating show, was in contact with another woman and acted hot and cold with her.

  18. jenscho

    January 11, 2018 at 5:13 PM

    Great insight!!
    I’d read a book by you. 🙂

  19. ganierjh1

    March 28, 2018 at 3:02 AM

    Fascinating interview with Brittany. Hearing her story does help. She is not alone.

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