Reality Steve

The Bachelor 22 - Arie

The Bachelor Arie – Episode 1 Recap, Date of the Fan Appreciation Party, Details on Some of the Girls, & Whose Ex Shows Up?

Photo Credit: ABC

-Because they know a majority of their audience doesn’t remember or doesn’t care about Arie, he got an opening to his season that no other “Bachelor” has had. Sure they show clips from their previous season on the “Bachelor,” but with Not Peter, we got a full 5 minute recap of him on Emily’s season. Jesus. Did we really need to re-watch that? I mean, I guess you kinda have to when all the Johnny-come-lately fans don’t have a f***ing clue who your lead is and why you chose him. So replay his time on Emily’s season all you want, shove it down our throats that he’s ready for love now, tell us a gazillion times that he hasn’t been in love in 5 years and a television show is gonna be the thing that finally does it – whatever. What they are completely glossing over is how many women he HAS been with in those last 5 years, how him not falling in love certainly isn’t for lack of opportunity, and that this is nothing more than a guy who took an opportunity given to him when their original pick couldn’t screw his head on straight. Good times.

-Couples who have gotten married from this show have even admitted they didn’t fall in love during the show. You fall in lust, for sure. And you find someone that you want to continue seeing more than anyone else a casting department picked for you. However, if you listened to episode 7 of the “He Said, She Said” podcast with myself and Sharleen released last Thursday on Stitcher Premium, you’ll know our take on this notion of not only falling in love with one person, but two, and then choosing to get engaged to one of them because you’re basically forced to. The whole thing is pretty silly, but then again, I look at this show practically, and most people don’t. Although Jef Holm’s Runner Up has said in pre-season interviews he fell in love with two women, please, no he didn’t. He fell for two women. Liked em’ a whole lot. But then chose one over the other and got engaged to her, even though he’s claiming he also loved someone else. God this show is preposterous when you think about it ha ha.

-Lets get to know some of the ladies who will be competing to be Not Peter’s future ex-fiance, shall we? Here are the nine intro videos we got this season:

Chelsea: She’s 29, from Portland, Maine and a single mom. But a single mom whose ex didn’t approve of her going on the show therefore wouldn’t allow their 3 year old son on camera. Have we ever had a contestant on this show who had a kid and an intro video and we never saw them? First one that came to my mind. Anyway, fine with no kid in the intro video, but how come we couldn’t see her #11 Edelman Pats jersey hanging anywhere in the background? Disappointing.

Caroline: 26, from Fort Lauderdale, FL and someone that myself and Sydney were SHOCKED didn’t at least make final 4 this season. What a disappointment. I gotta imagine we’ll be seeing her on Paradise. She tells us she’s been in real estate for less than a year but has already sold $5 million. Well, at least she’s humble.

Maquel: 23, professional photographer. Funniest part of her video is her saying, “I really want to be married.” Honey, you were. Like within the last few months. And now your ex wants you back and you’ve been seen with him since you got back from filming, yet, you will be on the first flight to Mexico this summer, so pipe down about that. And also you look like Kesha.

Nysha: She’s from South Carolina and in her video she sky dives to show her adventurous side, but is also a nurse to show her softer side. Well, here’s to the side that gets her booted the first night.

Tia: 26, from Weiner, AR where the population is 716. Raven 2.0 having Raven 1.0 in her intro video was a nice thing to have considering that, well, I think they’re the same person. Even admits she applied because of Raven. Oh boy. So now she’ll be looking for her Adam on Paradise? What about her military guy back home that she’s been seen with since she returned from filming? I’m having a hard time taking any of these women seriously now.

Kendall: 26, from Los Angeles. The odd, quirky one who plays her ukulele like 17 times in the first episode and collects taxidermy. All you need to know is she rhymed “taxidermy” with “journey” in one of her songs, and you may now gouge your eyes out with a spoon. And oh yeah, she guzzled a carafe of donkey semen. Kendall is either America’s hero or the most bizarre human on the planet. I’m still deciding.

Bekah: 22, from Los Angeles and she’s a nanny to a 15 month old. Which is ironic, because that makes her only about 12 grades above the kid she nannies for. How cute. If Bekah were any younger, she’d be an embryo. And don’t worry. You’ll only have her age shoved down your throat for the next 2 months or so.

Marikh: 27, from Salt Lake City, UT. She says that “dating a guy dating other women is difficult.” Well, I guess we know now what character role she’ll be portraying this season. Zero points for originality from the casting department. Boooooooooooo.

Krystal: 29, from San Diego. She’s an online health and fitness coach because of course she is. Her brother has been living on the streets for 2 years which sucks. Again, I feel people will immediately gain sympathy for that story. I also feel as the season goes on, it’s going to come across as TOO sweet. All. The. Time. As mentioned in the spoilers, she’s the “I’m not here to make friends, I’m here for Arie” girl this season. That never goes well.



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