-Even on the day of the 1-on-1, the producers make sure to show us Krystal telling a story to someone (I already forgot) in the backyard about she was hated on by other girls when she was younger. Like, that one time when in 8th her friends boyfriend broke up with her because he wanted to ask Krystal out and that’s how she’s feeling in the house. I mean, Krystal should probably quit while she’s ahead. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. Again, maybe Krystal had no idea how this show works, but when stuff like that comes flying out of your mouth, immediately people aren’t going to take to you like basically none of the others did at the time. We’ll see when the WTA rolls around how many come after her. I’m sure there will be a few, but how sincere will it be since the “Tell All’s” are always BIP auditions, and if you stir sh** up so people will remember you, it helps your cause. So no doubt some will come after Krystal, and some may even have a legitimate reason 3 months later to be bothered by stuff she did. But just know it’s more a production ploy to get people to come after her. I’m sure she was standoff-ish in the house and wasn’t there to have campfire conversations with the other girls. And I’m sure they were offended at the time. But 3 months later if you’re not over it, I think that’s a bit much.
-The other blonde Lauren has a 1 on 1 date today. It’s S. Or B. Or Q. Or whatever. Hell if I know. Why did the two blonde Lauren’s this season both have to be from Dallas? Makes it even more confusing. Anyway, she gets on a private jet and they head to a winery up north, and for Other blonde Lauren, that suits her just fine. “This is a very Lauren S. date.” So wait, a lot of her dates end with her getting sent home early? They have a conversation that well, for lack of a better phrase, put me to sleep. Probably because they were talking about sleep patterns. And cardigan sweaters. Safe to say if you’re on a nationally televised 1-on-1 date, and the topic of conversations we see revolve around those two topics, there’s a pretty damn good chance this date is going to hell in a handbasket. Just sayin’. Arie may be a simple man and isn’t going to be breaking down astrophysics with anyone while breaking bread, but even this subject material is boring him.
-Time for the night portion of their date, since the day portion was a whole bag of nothing. Arie immediately wants to toast. “To learning more about you.” He should’ve toasted to, “Let the beginning of some of the most incoherent ramblings commence.” And boy, did Other Blonde Lauren wind up and go. You remember those Chatty Cathy dolls? That was Lauren. But more chatty. Like, tons more. I started writing down all the different stories that she rambled on about, but my pen ran out of ink. And I got carpal tunnel. And then there was a loud alarm bell ringing in my head that told me this is too painful and I must resist from writing another single word for fear of self-mutilation. Thank God I stopped. But just know that Other Blonde Lauren seems to really have a lot of amazing things that have happened in her life. None of which seem remotely amazing. Just ask her.
-Now it came time for the tough decision. Does Arie give this rose to the girl he’s spent the whole day with and never kissed, barely touched, and had zero chemistry with? Hmmmmm, tough call. We feel for ya’, Arie, but I think you made the right decision here. I mean, here’s one thing you can give Other Blonde Lauren credit for. She owns her sh**:
I just got broken up with on national television, I started trending for talking too much (shocker) and my phone died… #blessed#TheBachelor
— LaurenSchleyer (@LaurenSchleyer) January 16, 2018
If you’ve ever checked out her social media, you’d know she’s very much a talker. At least she knows. But I appreciate her coming on this show, taking a chance on love, and sharing with all of America the 900 uninteresting stories she did about herself. I think we’re all better people for it. See ya’ on the flip side Other Blonde Lauren. It’s been real.
