Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Instagram Correction, & What is Going on?

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve!

I’ll just jump right into it. My questions/babbles this week are…

1) I’m a little confused by the producers response to spoilers. I’ll start by going back to Kaitlyn’s little spill up (I just reread the article from the time it happened). Basically, within 3 minutes of posting the pic to Snapchat, her Twitter was blowing up, producers were calling/yelling and they were there to pick them up and send on separate planes within 30 minutes. I understand that Kaitlin had a wide SC following and that it was a crystal clear spoiler that took no investigation. I also know that the spoiler was off that year and it was kind of a huge deal when she did that, cause absolutely nobody on social media knew she chose him.

With Arie, even though it was also a clear spoiler, you would have had to follow both of them in order to put the pieces together (or just one person with a Twitter would have to), which wouldn’t be super likely since the season hadn’t started and nobidy knew who she was unless they read your site. Regardless of all that though, you would think the producers would be all up on the couples use of social media while together in hiding. Yet it took hours before they deleted the photos. Granted it wasn’t all over Twitter to immediately inform them, you’d think at least one producer would be checking on that. As I’ve said many times before, I honestly don’t understand them some times. Most of the time actually. Everything you said makes perfect sense, hence the reason their actions are head scratching.

2) In the past, they newly engaged couples would always talk about how they could only see each other in quarentined houses that only their handler could go in and out of and they weren’t alllowed to leave. I remember Andi saying she hid in josh’s trunk to visit each other outside of their set/approved time.

Yet somehow, Becca was able to fly to his state and go four wheeling (ATVing? Whatever) with 5 of his friends and actually posed for a group photo with them together, which was posted and left up for almost a week! From what the leads and winners have talked about, this would have never been allowed for them previously.

Again, I’m sure they are a little more laid back before the season starts airing since nobody would probably know who Becca is if they saw her land in Phoenix, but it’s more the fact that they let these photos sit up for such long amounts of time.

I’m not saying there is a conspiracy behind it or it’s on on purpose, but my natural reaction is to think “wow they just really don’t give a sh*t this season I guess”…..

Where my question comes in: why, if that is all probable, were they trying to silence you and not allow you to post the ending? Your guess is as good as mine.

You’ve mentioned before that they don’t hate what you do and that it brings them more publicity – so do you think they are doing it to be petty bitches and play like it’s a game? Or do you think they actually want you silenced? And if so, why aren’t they keeping this season top secret like they supposedly have in the past? WHAT IS THEIR GAME?! I hope I don’t have it all wrong and I hope you agree with my view on it, cause I always feel dumb when you disagree with my overanalyses, but it seems to me like everything they are doing with this situation is just contradicting themselves and I can’t figure out their mindset. I’m not sure if it’s possible to understand the mind of producers or if they’re their own breed, but what’s your guess on what their ideal end game is for all that nonsense? Ha ha…my answer is the same for all three of your points. I have no idea really. They don’t make much sense to me and never will. They have such a hard on for me when all I do is help their show in the long run. Oh well.

That ended up being about 5 paragraphs longer than it needed to be, but I’m still gonna ask my next topic question, sorry 🙂

-I know your thoughts on Arie / his character and I know they’re based on actual facts— there’s no denying that all the evidence you’ve reported confirms him as a straight up f***boy.

However, maybe it’s just cause I have too much faith in people, but I have a hard time believing that a 37 year old with gray hair, whose friends and family are all mostly married and with families of their own, would really NOT want to meet the right person and start a family (assuming they want kids- which he says he does). I’m not doubting that he was perfectly content with serial dating 23 year olds for the past 5 years, but I have a hard time believing that he doesn’t want this experience to work out for him like it did for Sean, now that he was handed the opportunity.

Cause despite his record, he does seem to be a personable, “emotionally intelligent” man and is able to conduct himself as a 37 year old would, and seems to have genuine interest in the conversations with the women (ie Seinne, he was genuinely impressed and attracted to all her adult accomplishments).

My question for you: does the fact that he chose Becca- a mature, charismatic, smart and well liked woman who is very pretty, but definitely not a standout amongst the other women- change your opinion on what you think his end game or intentions are? I don’t want to sound naive, but it honestly does change mine. He chose the girl who, in my opinion, seems the most suited for a successful post-show relationship. Why not choose someone like Kendall or Lauren B. If he was looking to keep up his old ways?

Nothing against them- they seem cool, but Kendall is a free spirit whom I’m sure won’t be heartbroken if she’s not married by 28, and Lauren B. is 25 and loves to post photos of herself already and I’m sure would’ve been Arie’s best option for a successful Instagram career together.

I’m sure you have a differing opinion on this one and I would love to hear it, cause I struggle to believe he really just wants to keep up his bschelor life. Cure me of my ignorance if that isn’t the case!

I’m honestly embarrassed of the length on this one, especially since it covered two topics. But hey, gotta get my thoughts out somehow, and diaries don’t answer my questions! 🙂

Thanks for everything!

Comment: My thoughts are the same now as they were on Sept. 7th when he was named the “Bachelor.” He’s not on this show to find a wife and marry someone. Just because he’s older doesn’t mean he’s matured.

Hi Steve,

I have a few questions that I hope you can answer for me.

1) I just listened to the podcast with Sydney who Arie used to date and I’m a little confused about what you said. You said something along the lines of, “Peter was in a hotel room all set to be announced at the Bachelor before they changed their minds and decided to go back to the drawing board”. It wasn’t those exact words, but close to it. I always thought Peter didn’t want to be The Bachelor and that’s why Arie was picked. Isn’t that what happened? It was Peter getting in his own head and him and production couldn’t come to an agreement for whatever reason, and then they turned their attention elsewhere.

2) I read last week in one of the answers to someone’s question that something happened at Sean and Catherine’s wedding and that’s why Arie and Jef holm don’t speak anymore. Sean seems like a guy who would put distance between someone who did anything wrong at his wedding. However, he seems like he is really close with Arie and not jef holm. Granted, I know we click with some people and others we don’t. I mean there are some people who I know who haven’t done anything to me personally, but we don’t mesh well together so we don’t talk. I hope that makes sense. I should say I am not and Arie fan at all. I think he is disgusting, and am shocked he was picked to be The Bachelor. However, I feel if anyone did anything wrong at Sean and Catherine’s wedding, then it had to be Jef. I really wish you could say what happened at their wedding that made Arie and Jef stop speaking to each other. Nothing Arie did personally affected Sean & Catherine at all. Hell, they might’ve been too busy to even know until later on or even care. It’s not like Arie & Jef ruined the reception or anything. All I was saying was you can trace Arie & Jef’s ending of the relationship to that wedding.

3) Listening to Sydney talk about how she thinks Arie had a lot more notice he was going to be The Bachelor made me agree with her. I guess because I’m a girl and I’m more of a planner, but I would need a lot more than 3 day notice I would be The Bachelorette. I think that Arie knew he had a high percentage chance he would be The Bachelor, and that’s why he decided to “end” things with Sydney. I know Arie would never say him and Sydney were a couple, but it sounded to me they were. Arie is a womanizer and will always be single.

Comment: I don’t agree that Arie knew on July 31st when he broke up with her. But I do agree on your last sentence.

Hi Steve,

First off, I want to say how much I enjoy reading your site and listening to your podcast. I like how you are interviewing more than just bachelor nation people it’s a good mix! So I just have a couple of questions:

1. Is Kristina on the outs with the girls? I notice they all hang out and she is missing most of the time. I saw she moved out to LA any chance she is in the running for bachelorette? No.

2. Have you heard of anything in regards to the new bachelorette? I saw a tweet Mike Fleiss posted asking for “opinions” for the bachelorette role and I saw a lot of people commenting for Kristina or Becca. I feel like Becca would be boring though…He asks that every season. This is nothing new.

3. Can you tell us a few of your upcoming podcast guests?

Comment: No. Only because I don’t want to jinx any of them.

Good evening,

Who wins in arie’s season?

Comment: That one girl with the hair and the eyes and the nose and the face.

Hi Steve,

Just wanted to thank you for the recent podcast with Ashley Spivey where you had a serious & open discussion about sexual assault. That was definitely not a topic I was expecting. Please let her know how much I appreciate her sharing her story. It reminded me that this (sadly) happens so often, but that we are not alone. I know the feeling of guilt, shame, and wondering what I could have done differently. I also know what it’s like to either have people not believe you, or excuse the perpetrator’s behavior (along the lines of “he was just drunk, he’s not usually like that” or “what did you expect, with what you were wearing?” etc.) The fact that she had to change schools frustrates me. It’s almost like we get doubly punished when something like this happens: 1) the actual incident; and 2) the aftermath. I hear ya’. It sucks. Sorry that happened to you.

I am incredibly curious on your male perspective of the Aziz Ansari situation. The majority of what I see out there is a lot of victim blaming and excusing this as a “bad/awkward date” as well as saying this completely derails the #MeToo movement. I find that very disheartening. Regardless of your actual opinion, I find that you are pretty logical and sensible when explaining your take on things.

I know it’s out of your normal realm, but this is an incredibly important topic within our culture right now. You don’t have a responsibility to further the conversation, but your audience would greatly benefit from it.

Thank you,

Comment: The best response I’ve read to the Aziz Ansari situation was written yesterday by Emma Gray of the “Not Here to Make Friends” podcast. You can read it here. Very well thought out and insightful. Definitely a conversation that needs to be had.

I loved your podcast with Ashley Spivey. I thought she was great on Brad’s season. She has been through so much and i appreciated how candid she was about her experience. I am a sexual assault victim as well and can relate to some of her experience. I think its great she’s using her platform to bring awareness to what victims go through. I like that she isn’t afraid to express her opinions and call people out (James Taylor) on hot topics. I look forward to you having her back on in the future. You have a great rapor.

I also didn’t know she had a book club and as an avid reader I joined after listening on Thursday. It’s fantastic and I’ve received great suggestions so far. Ashley is great. One of my favorite people to talk to. Will definitely be on in the future.

I have to say I find Arie absolutely repulsive! I didn’t think anyone could be worse than Juan Pablo but he takes the cake. Watching him kiss the women the way he does is just uncomfortable. Especially in the group date settings. I am not a prude by any means and don’t care how many women (or men) the lead sucks face with. That being said watching him and some of these women practically dry humping each other on the group dates and at cocktail parties is a bit much. They need to reinstate the “boom boom room” in the mansion for him.

Looking forward to this season being over already. Poor Becca.

Comment: You’re right. Poor Becca. Said it in November and I’ll say it til this season is over.

Do you see the appeal of Rebekah Martinez being the next Bachelorette – even if she isn’t in the final four?

If no – besides the fact that she isn’t in the final four – why not?

Comment: No. Too young. I know they’ve had “Bachelorettes” in the past who were 25 or so, but I just don’t see a 22 year old in that role. It wouldn’t be believable that she’s looking to get married. And even if she tells us she is, most people wouldn’t buy it. She’s much more suited for BIP. Count on her there.

Reality Steve,

Love your site. Just have a few observations/questions/critiques for you.

1. Why did you never promote Fischer’s Survivor blog on your site this past Survivor season. In past seasons, you would plug his blog in one of your posts. This season you only did it once. He was a fantastic recapper and honestly the best writer on your site since you don’t write anymore (taking the David Jacoby route and doing all podcasts). Yet you put Nell Kalter’s Floribama recap on your main site. Just found it odd. Regardless, I will miss Fisch and his tremendous insight into Survivor, as Survivor is my favorite reality show. Fair question. #1 I always tweeted out his article when it was up. #2 his articles usually didn’t arrive until Friday. I don’t post columns on Friday’s, so all I can do is tweet them out at that point. Not to mention, when he was writing about “Survivor” I wasn’t writing as many columns in the offseason as I usually do.

As for saying I barely write anymore, you’re partially right. In the offseason (last September thru December), it was less than it’s ever been. But I’m back to the same schedule now once the season has started.

2. Do you have plans on replacing Fischer for your Survivor blogger (or whatever you call him)? Would you do an open application process, or would you seek out and hand pick someone to do it? Just wondering. I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet honestly. I might not have coverage and just use, Stephen Fishbach, and Reality Blurred’s recaps.

3. I have never listened to any of your podcasts before last week’s Ashley Spivey’s interview. I was thoroughly disappointed in the guest for basically the same reasons your commenters stated on your post. Anyway, I’ve never been “podcast guy” anyway, and I don’t want to completely dismiss them altogether based on one experience, but if you had to recommend one of your best podcasts to someone that is down on podcasts, which one (or ones) in your archive that you have done in the last year would your recommend to turn me around. Any input would be appreciated. Impossible question to answer since I can’t pick just one. And if you didn’t like Ashley, then honestly, I wouldn’t waste your time listening to any of the others. Sounds like there’s an inherent bias you have for some reason, so I’m not going to suggest anything else. I’m already questioning your taste.

4. Any thoughts on the Championship games? I like Philly as a home dog for the second week in a row and I do believe the Patriots are out to punish the league for that ESPN article. Anyway, have a good day, and take care. Well, it’s not like Philly looked like world beaters vs Atlanta. I just forgot to take into account the Falcons’ offense all season has been dogsh** even though it’s basically the same exact team that returned from the Super Bowl a year ago which was a juggernaut (minus the last 17 minutes of the SB). Translation: Goodbye Sarkisian.

Minnesota is the better overall team right now. They should win. Will they? If I knew that, I’d be rich.


With Arie’s season looking like an even worse version of Chris Soules’ season, have you heard any rumors regarding how ABC will cast the lead in the future? Going back to Nick, this is two boring seasons in a row.


Comment: No. Way too early to tell for next season what their plans are.

Steve if you had to watch either Arie or Bryan’s kissing on a loop for an hour straight who would you rather? (And neither is not an option) I’d much prefer Bryan cause he looks like a passionate kisser. Arie is so gross he doesn’t even use tongue and he makes out with 22 year olds.

Comment: I mean, what a horrible position to put me in to make me answer a question like that. You’re asking me to tell you which guy I prefer to watch make out. No thanks.



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